Chapter 22: Habe You Seen An Alien Pls?
The War was officially over, Iwa backed down while Kiri, and Kumo followed. Their total defeat in Kusa and the destruction of Kannabi Bridge cemented their loss.
It took months for Konoha to return to its peacetime mood. The villagers celebrated for days after the war was won. During that time Hiruzen made the announcement that he was making Minato the Yondaime Hokage.
I had rejected the position as I didn't plan on staying long enough to really matter as a Hokage. Hiruzen made me the Jonin Commander instead. Though it was less responsibility, I still held a lot of power and respect with everything that I did during my time in the Narutoverse.
Kushina with her pregnant belly looked at me from across the table. I couldn't read her expression but I could sense the conflicting emotions within her.
I had just told her that I was planning on returning to my original world within the next few years. That wasn't the reason she was conflicted though.
She was conflicted because I had told her that I had been with other women and there was a possibility that I would end up attracting more women in my multiversal travels.
"I don't like it…" she sighed, "though there is only a chance of that happening."
"Well technically there's a whole friends with benefits situation with someone back in my home world."
Her eyebrow twitched, "I. Know. That. Datebanne." She grit out.
"Sorry," I chuckled sheepishly, "I didn't think I'd find someone else that would accept me and love me for who I was."
Her face softened, "Aki-koi, I'll always love you…" then her fist clenched, "even if I have to share you with some skank. I will be your one and only wife got it?!"
"Hai-hai, you're my one and only wife." I raised my hands in surrender.
She nodded, satisfied with my sincerity, "Good, I also get to test them, and make sure that they're worthy of your attention."
"That's fair."
"And I get to introduce them to Kurama-chan if they aren't."
"Eh? Ku- Kurama-chan?"
"Oh yeah! The Kyuubi no Yoko is a really cute girl."
"Eh?!"
[Scene Break]
Kushina and I watched Minato's inauguration from the Hokage Monument. Mikoto stood next to him with a wide smile as he waved at the villagers. Her own pregnancy showing.
It had been a few months since I had told Kushina about my complicated love life. She was due to give birth within the week. I held her closely as we watched the celebrations for Minato's ascension to Hokage begin.
"Crazy to think that you were my Sensei only years ago."
"Please don't remind me of that… you make me sound like some kind of sexual deviant."
"Hmm, you kind of are 'tebanne. You saved me, then you took me under your wing, then you seduced me into being your wife… kyaaa." She let out a little squeal when I pinched her ass.
"I did none of those things… well maybe one or two. But I definitely did not seduce you."
"Hmmph," she pouted, "then what about that one time you went; 'I'm your Sensei so don't fall in love with me…' hmm? That line was so romantic." Kushina gushed.
'More like cringe… what the fuck was I thinking?'
"I didn't say any of that." I denied.
Kushina deadpanned, "Why are you lying, it was cute."
"I'm not lying." I denied again.
"Yeah you are! You clearly said those words but now you're saying that you didn't. That's lying."
"That's not how I define lying…" I grumbled.
"Really? How do you define it then?"
"Reclining your body in a horizontal position?"
Kushina's eyebrow twitched and her hair floated around her head in nine parts, it was like they had minds of their own. She raised her clenched fist and got ready to throw a punch.
We were interrupted by Ophis and Gabriel teleporting in front of us carrying what looked like a badly beaten albino man.
"Huh?" Kushina immediately calmed down.
"Oh! Kushina, hey!" Gabriel dropped the albino and dashed over to Kushina before beginning to fuss over the pregnant woman.
"Ophis… what the hell is this?"
"This weirdo interrupted us while we were walking to our next village."
"And…" I lightly kicked the injured albino, "who is it?"
"Don't know… he said his name was Eshitty?"
"The fuck kind of name is that?"
Ophis shrugged before kicking the albino over onto its back. When I saw the man's face I immediately realised who he was.
'Huh… Otsutsuki. Well that saves me the trouble of having to go look for them.'
While Gabriel continued to dote on Kushina, Ophis pulled out a bag of sweets and munched on them while I squatted down and poked the Otsutsuki in the face.
"Oi… wakey wakey," I continued to poke the man in the face, "Ophis what did you do to this poor man?"
"He knocked my dango out of my hand. So I had my snakes-
"Okay that's enough, I don't need the gritty details."
Ophis nodded and went over to Kushina to offer her some sweets.
'Huh, haven't seen Ophis offer anyone sweets before. She isn't usually one for sharing. Maybe something happened during her and Gabriel's travels.'
"Ughhhhhh oooooghhhh." The Otsutsuki groaned in pain.
"You awake yet?" I started slapping the man's face.
"Ughhhhh."
"I'll take that as a no…" I pried the man's eyeballs open, "oh well, it doesn't matter. Let me just take what I need from your mind then you can go ahead and get some rest."
"Urghhhhhh."
"I'll take that as your consent."
I tore through the Otsutsuki's mind like paper. I didn't really care for gentleness. I just needed information on where the alien homeworld was so I could wipe them out. Nothing like mass genocide of an entire species just cause I wanted to make sure that my investments in this place weren't ruined.
By the time I pulled back from Ishiki's mind the alien invader was practically a vegetable, a drooling mess with fancy eyes, eyes that I ripped out of his head and stored in my hammer space.
"Daddy! Come quick." Gabriel called to me.
"What is it Gabriel?"
"It's Kushina, her water broke."
"This is going to be another long day." I sighed.
[Scene Break]
I really wanted to magically just take the baby out of Kushina but she insisted on giving birth naturally. Thankfully Gabriel handled the security and I didn't have to worry about interlopers.
Especially since Obito was too busy being whipped by Rin. Kakashi had joined ANBU a few months ago and Kushina's team 7 had all but officially disbanded.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU SHITTY GOD!!!!" Kushina roared at me.
Sighing, I held her hand and whispered comforting words to her. "Just breathe love, in and then ou-
"I SWEAR I'LL CHOP YOUR DICK OFF BEFORE YOU EVER GET NEAR ME AGARHHHHH." Kushina screamed one last time before she let out a gasp.
The wails of a newborn filled the air and Kushina let out a tired sigh. Gabriel handed the freshly cleaned and bundled baby to Kushina. The red haired woman cooed at the bundle.
"Aki-koi… look she has your eyes." Kushina gushed happily.
I chuckled at the complete 180° Kushina took from when she was threatening castration to fussing over our newborn daughter.
'Wait daughter? Why am I so worried… the angels are technically my kids too… oh well, it seems I finally get to fulfil my dream of greeting her boyfriend with a sharpened shovel.'
Gabriel pulled Ophis out of the room and left Kushina and I alone. Snuggling next to the tired woman I glanced at my daughter and felt my heart melt at the goofy toothless grin that was sent my way.
"She has your shit eating grin…"
Kushina smacked my arm, "Hush, she has your eyes and that's all that matters."
"Not going to say anything about her hair?" I asked.
Kushina brushed her fingers lightly through the whisps of red hair on our daughters head.
"I don't mind the red hair anymore 'tebanne… especially not when I see just how beautiful it can be."
"Hmm," I kissed Kushina's forehead, "get some rest love. You and our daughter."
"Wait! We have to come up with a name."
"Alright… how about Naruko." I suggested with a grin.
Kushina met my gaze with a deadpan,
"No…"
"Worth a shot," I laughed, "then how about… Himari."
"Himari…" Kushina smiled, "I like that."
"They say that a man must love his sons more, but a man can always be jealous of his sons…" I started, remembering a quote, "but his daughter will always be the light in his life."
"Hmm, where did you hear that from?" Kushina asked with a curious light in her eyes.
"Maybe I said it." I replied with a smirk.
"No… you don't sound like that."
I rolled my eyes, "I heard it from an old Viking."
"Viking? What's that?" Kushina asked.
"I'll tell you after you've got some sleep."
Kushina pouted, "Mo… Himari-chan, your Oto-san is being mean to me."
Himari giggled while clapping her hands. I felt magic wash over me and I blinked in surprise. Kushina had also frozen and was looking at me with clear amusement.
"She turned my hair into a different colour didn't she?"
Kushina bit her lip to suppress a laugh and nodded. Sighing I conjured a mirror and took a look at myself. My hair had turned from its dark curls to a pink Afro. I peeked over to Kushina and Himari, the latter being tickled and was giggling joyfully.
"She's going to be so powerful I can already feel it." Kushina said.
"Feel it? She's already powerful enough to overcome my natural defenses against outside magic."
"Scared?" Kushina smirked.
"For my sanity… yes, yes I am."
[Scene Break]
Once Kushina and Himari had fallen asleep I stepped out of the room after making sure that I had put up every defensive ward I could think of.
Paranoid, sure… but I was just about to go and eradicate an entire race of super aliens. There would never be such a thing as too safe when it came to aliens.
Gabriel and Ophis met me in the training yard of my property in the Uchiha Compound. Hogtied at their feet was Ishiki, still a vegetable from my not so gentle tour of his mind.
"You two are sure that you want to come with me?"
"Yeah, the last time we saw aliens, they were kinda gross and didn't really talk. These ones look less gross and can actually talk." Gabriel replied.
"You are aware that they'll most likely say some mean things correct?"
"It's okay…" Ophis replied while a few of her snakes hissed from her shadow, "I just want to see their snacks."
"Hmm, and you Gabriel?"
"I just want to see aliens daddy."
"Alright then," I shook my head in amusement, "first things first though, I'll be back." I told the two.
I flashed away and teleported myself to the surface of the moon. I sensed around for any people and hummed to myself.
"Wasn't there supposed to be an asshole up here that's hoarding Byakugan?" I thought out loud.
Shrugging I walked around for a little bit and kicked up some moon rocks. I could sense Kaguya deep below the surface along with a pit where the Gedo statue used to be.
Snapping my fingers I brought the Rabbit 'Goddess' to the surface. Her long white hair was somehow still straight and flawless. Her dress was hardly ruffled, she looked around at the sudden change in her surroundings and spotted me.
Seemingly realising that her bonds had been broken she launched a flurry of bones at me in an attempt to kill me. I just stood still and let the bones hit me. They shattered on impact and I dusted myself off.
"Are you done?"
Kaguya blinked in surprise, "What are you?" She asked in her ethereal voice.
"A true god," I replied easily while flaring my power, "I came here to talk and to give you two options."
Kaguya had fallen to the ground with my burst of power. The moon's surface had also cracked. She was visibly shaken by my display of might.
"W-what do you want?"
"Simple really, I came her to offer you a choice since I know that you're not really a shitty person."
I observed her for her reactions before continuing,
"You hate your people I'm assuming?"
She froze before nodding slowly, "I have never seen eye to eye with the other Otsutsuki. They're too narrow minded and too arrogant."
"Is that why you abandoned you mission when you came to earth? You realised just how wrong your people were?"
Kaguya was silent for a moment before she nodded again, "I also met a man and fell in love."
"Eating that fruit filled you with power but also corrupted you, I'll fix that in a bit, let me just get to the point of my visit. I'm planning on wiping out the Otsutsuki, either join me or perish with them."
"Not much of a choice," she sighed, "I'll join you."
"Good," I snapped my finger, "can have you looking like a ghostly goddess."
"What did you do?" She asked.
"Gave you a makeover." I stated simply.
Kaguya now had healthy looking human skin, she still had the Byakugan, and the two horn like protrusions on her head, but everything else had shifted to look more human. Her hair had shortened significantly, now just reaching her lower back. The slit for her Rinnesharingan had all but vanished, it was still there only now it was better hidden.
Her outfit still remained the same though, so did her body shape. All things considered she was a grade a Milf. One of two that I now had. The other being Kushina who recently just acquired the title.
"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!" A voice shouted at Kaguya and I.
I slowly turned to face the man I was expecting to show up earlier. Robes, stupid face, and dorky hair. Check, check, and check.
"Ah, Toneri… I was wondering when you'd show up." I let out a chuckle.
The man stepped back, "Who? Who are you!?"
"Kaguya, here's an Otsutsuki… a descendant of yours, from Hamura's line I believe."
"H-Hamura?" A single tear leaked out of Kaguya's eye.
"You remember him right? Your son, brother to Hagoromo?"
Kaguya nodded and wiped away the tear before stepping forward, "Come here boy." Her voice now steady, containing a layer of commanding power.
Toneri froze, I could feel his conflicted emotions. I didn't really want to kill him, but he wasn't important in the long run. So I decided to leave his fate up to Kaguya.
I materialised a small throne out of moon rocks and took a seat. Kaguya floated over to Toneri with an unreadable expression. Since the lone Otsutsuki wouldn't didn't move, Kaguya was the one to make her way to him. Something I'm sure she didn't like.
She may have not really been a goddess but she had the temperament of one, what more was she was worshiped as a goddess, making her one in all but name and power.
"S-stay stay back." Toneri stuttered out, fear etched into his face.
"I only wish to speak." Kaguya said softly.
Toneri didn't listen and unleashed a blast of yellow energy at her. A blast that did absolutely fuck all as it washed over Kaguya's form.
The Rabbit Goddess' face briefly morphed into one of pure rage. Rasing a hand she shot out a spike of bone at the pale skinned Otsutsuki.
Toneri gasped out in pain and looked at the bone spear wedged into his chest. His eyes shot up to Kaguya then to me. Fear still clear in his eyes, his flesh slowy began to turn to ash from where the bone had struck.
In less than a minute all that was left of Toneri was a pile of ash. Hamura's legacy, wiped out by Kaguya preventing the whole incident with the moon crashing onto earth.
Kaguya turned to me with tears running down her face, her emotions a mess of sadness and confusion. Her feet touched the ground and she stood still, seemingly absorbed by what she had done.
"I- what have I done." Her voice was soft, hardly a whisper.
"You've saved countless lives."
"I- I killed my descendant."
"Yes, and in doing so. You've saved more of your descendants from suffering due to Toneri's madness."
"What?"
"He was obsessed with perfecting the Byakugan. Going as far as to taking the eyes of his entire clan."
I was talking out of my ass, I didn't really remember the actual plot of the Naruto movie where he finally unsticks his head from his ass and realised that Hinata actually liked him.
However, I had the basic understanding that Toneri was a total creep that stole people's eyes. His death also didn't impact the world in any meaningful way.
"That's- what has happened in the long years since I was gone?"
I hummed, "Let's see, after your twin sons sealed you away, Hagoromo shared chakra with the rest of the world. He naively thought that it would let people understand each other easier."
"What about Hamura."
"He exiled himself to the moon as your self proclaimed warden. He started his own clan here, somehow some of those people found their way down to earth where they formed the Hyuga clan."
"And the Otsutsuki?"
"Annoyed that you betrayed them."
Kaguya sighed, "My people have always been too power hungry to understand. They see themselves above all others."
"I can see that."
Kaguya ignored me and continued to speak, "My home planet was wracked with war due to my people's search for power. The strongest eventually absorbed everyone else leaving only a mere handful of the population left."
"I'm familiar with similar stories. Let me guess, they couldn't run their world properly so resorted to farming other worlds for slaves?"
Kaguya nodded, "We would send pairs down to different worlds and build up relations with the people so that they'd be ready to be transported to our home world."
"The more I hear about your people the more I want to vaporise the entire planet."
"And I will help you in this endeavour." She bowed her head.
"Not going to plot against me?"
"I know my limits, I am yours to command."
"Good, we can get started then."
Kaguya raised her head and looked at me questioningly. Getting up from my throne, I touched her shoulder and teleported us back to where I had left Ophis and Gabriel.
[Scene Break]
The four of us floated above the Otsutsuki home world. From what I saw, it was highly advanced with towering buildings and hundreds of satellites. Unfortunately the hunt for power had reduced the population to just under two dozen people.
I was a bit thankful for that, I had done the whole wrathful god thing while slaughtering indiscriminately. I didn't know if I could really kill a bunch of innocent women and children.
Though 'innocent' may have been a stretch considering who these people were. They were the Viltrumites of the Narutoverse basically from what I could understand. Then again, I only had Kaguya's account and Ishiki's memories to go off of.
"A fair fight, or should I just glass the entire planet?"
Gabriel posed as if thinking deeply, Ophis continued to munch on whatever was in her pockets, and Kaguya gave me a look.
"My people may be terrible but even they deserve honourable deaths."
"A fight it is, from my senses there only about a dozen of them. That leaves around three for each of us. Let's make this interesting, no magic, only swords and physical combat."
Gabriel smiled and took out her flaming sword from within her skirt and shot off, I blinked at that and chose to ignore it. Ophis stuffed the rest of whatever was in her dress pocket in her mouth and began to lazily drift towards the planet.
Kaguya just looked at me in confusion.
"What? They may be my family but even I have no clue what goes on in their heads."
"Aren't you an actual god?"
"Yeah, but knowing everything is boring."
"Wha-
"Never mind that, let's go." I shot off towards the planet.
I crashed into the surface of the planet hard, a shockwave of force shot out from the crater I had made. Instantly a Otsutsuki I didn't recognise appeared and charged at me.
The Otsutsuki's eyes flashed and I felt something try to forcibly move me. Smirking at the Otsutsuki's shocked face when his power did fuck all to me I raised my hand and summoned the pasty skinned alien throat first.
Grasping the aliens throat tightly I started choking the life out of the Otsutsuki. Fear shone in the aliens eyes, sneering at the pasty skinned man I plucked out his eyes from his skull before incinerating his body with a thought.
"One down, ele-
I was cut off by several screams, humming I corrected myself before continuing.
"Seven down, five to go."
Another Otsutsuki tried to ambush me with some sort of black rod. I summoned my sword from my hammer space and cut off the man's arm. Surprisingly he grew a new arm in the blink of an eye and produced another black rod from his palm.
"Interesting…" I glanced at him before snapping my fingers, "can you survive without your head though?"
The man looked at me in shock and horror as his head began to swell into a comedic size. In an explosion of gore and brain matter his head popped bringing the remaining count to four.
I floated through the quiet streets of the Otsutsuki home world. I spotted a skeletal corpse and drifted down to inspect it. I noticed that it's eyes had been gouged if the scratch marks around the orbital bones of the skull were any indication.
"So the whole race possessed some sort of ocular power." I summarised after a thought.
I went back to hunting the last Otsutsuki I had to take out, the thought of these idiots killing their own people only made me want to speed up their extinction.
A blast of fire cut me off from moving forward and I looked up to where it had come from. A rather feminine looking Otsutsuki floated in the air above me. Some sort of veil draped over his face.
"Ah, Momoshiki or whatever the fuck your name is… glad you came out so I didn't have to go hunting for you."
"Silence worm…" The Otsutsuki hissed at me.
"Hmm, I dunno if that's very wise… insulting the being that can turn you inside out before you can say 'oh shit'."
"I said SILENCE!!!" Momoshiki shouted before sending another elemental blast at me.
I flicked my hand at the arc of lighting effortlessly dissipating it. Letting out a yawn I addressed the wacky Otsutsuki in front of me.
"Say… why did your people kill off your entire population?"
Momoshiki scoffed, "Those too weak to fight back should be grateful to be killed by the powerful."
"Interesting choice of words," I put away my sword, "you really should have thought of a better excuse though."
I crossed the distance in a flash, surprise spread across the Otsutsuki's face when I punched him through the chest and grabbed his beating heart.
"For all your grandeu and bragging about how powerful you are… you guys are pathetically weak." I mused before ripping the aliens heart out.
Momoshiki's body fell to the ground with a thud. Ophis and Gabriel teleported to my side a few seconds later, followed by Kaguya who lazily floated over in her style.
"All done?" I asked them.
Gabriel nodded, "They weren't very nice daddy." She replied with a pout.
"Weak." Was Ophis' singular answer.
"I had some difficulties but I managed." Kaguya responded.
"Good, let's go… this boring fight has made me work up an appetite."
Omake: Facsimile
"It matters not, they will know pain."
"Nagato, we can't rush into this. The Kyuubi jinchuriki will react poorly."
"None of that matters to a God Konan." The orange haired man replied dismissively.
Before the blue haired woman could reply, a rift opened in their hideout and a lone man stepped through. Konan felt the hairs on her neck stand up at the sight of the man.
"Naruto huh? Always wanted to visit this world and learn how to do jutsus and shit. Oh… hello there. You must be Konan. You know… there's this whole stigmata about blue haired women of questionable sanity and about how you never stick your dick in crazy."
"Who are you mortal." The orange haired man ignored the strange man's words.
"Hmm?" The man turned his attention to the 'leader' of the Akatsuki.
"Kill him Konan, his presence is insulting." The orange haired man concluded.
"You know… I always found your story quite sad. Three orphans, one dies so that two may live, one blindly follows the other, and the last one deluded by his own power."
"Silence! Kneel before your God!" The orange haired man shouted while raising his hand. "SHINRA TENSEI!!!!"
The strange man looked at him with a tilted head, "Was that supposed to do something?"
"What?" The orange haired man gasped as an unbearable pressure filled the cave.
"God eh? You fancy yourself a god?"
Konan who had been frozen in the spot finally broke from her shock and tried to move. Only to realise that she too was frozen in place just like Yahiko's body.
"Sad backstory or not, you did just try to attack me so it's only fair that I hit back right?"
"K-Konan! Do something!!!" Nagato shouted.
"Hmm," the strange man walked over to the blue haired kunoichi, "I don't think so."
Konan disappeared in a flash of light, shocking Nagato. The man turned to him and an evil smile spread across the man's face.
"I don't usually beat on cripples, but I'll make an exception for you… the so-called 'god'. What was it you said? Oh yeah… YOU WILL KNOW PAIN."
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone