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Hey everyone author here, this is the first time I wrote a novel and I love doing it. So if you are a new reader Welcome to this novel where you will be introduced to a Main Character with a laid-back personality but with a goal as he is reborn back to a month before the merge with a mobile game. This novel has a harem and a huge one at that with the female leads being just as overpowered as our MC. So please enjoy this novel and I am looking forward to your feedback and comments on this novel Thank you Anime_timez24
I just love this story very muc I'm a new writer and I just published first book titled "Beyond The Umbra", please read it and comment on it, your comments will help me with the book .
I watched the first 5 chapters and they were very good, but it's a shame they were so short.
Naah read 55 chapters of nonsense and excess stretching 40 chapters The story does not serve to approximately 6 chapters The world is supposed to be built and I understand it in these chapters but the writer did not offer anything on the table only more and more women and rewards to the point that he can complete them without taking advantage of the memories of his past, and this is a clear weakness I will stop here
hey author, how do I get to your discord. in the description, the link is expired. ??? plz resend send it here or somewhere.đ đ¤
there's too much explaining, half of the story so far is mostly game items instead of the plotđ
I love your work author and hope you keep going and wish you all the best. I hope for more action to be honest but i believe you will do your best :)
I havenât even read this yet, but let me just say, I find it so crazy that people canât even stand a kiss between two harem members, like do you guys not find that attractive? You say liking yuri in a harem is being a cuck? I wonder which of us is the bigger cuck thenâŚ..
In my humble opinion, you should refrain from using titles for things that were made by men that are derogatory towards women. If you care about someone, and share a bed with them, they shouldnât be titled a bed warming maid. If you treat them like that, you are subhuman trash
[img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls]
To be very honest the story in getting quite bland because till now it revolves around kingdom building and management of resources and their no major issues for the MC and no good fights but I hope the world building will be worth the time and I story will pickup the pace.
It's entirely great but there are a lot of unnecessary explanations. For example, he even explained how the icon is designed to introduce a mall or store. There are about 5 chapters that describe the items inside the mall. But I like the story and chapters a lot.
I love how the story is written and the detail of the world details. I think the main characters should not forgive his parents, "mother-in-law", "Fiance", or the "system" he had because what they are doing is messed up. literally his entire life is a lie they are just playing with him like he is a toy. after he finds out how could he trust anybody the people closest to him are just living to his face the entire time or hiding from him not wanting to reveal themselves unforgivable.
Although the story boasts a compelling plot and a diverse cast of characters, the progression is quite disappointing. Too much of the word count is dedicated to describing room and clothing designs, which detracts from the overall narrative. Given the brevity of the chapters, it often feels like Iâm reading a catalog rather than an engaging story
I just love the way the author developed the plot . i really like how u explained everything in details regarding the background settings like how the game mixed with reality and soo on. even though the story might feel like it was just all positive with no challenges for MC but come on dudes we have enough where all those MCs are fighting hard and can't protect their loved ones . I am not criticizing, those plots are very good and i enjoy them too but i find this one more appealing. and finally the author keep up the good work, I hope u get more popular and write more interesting novels like this u have our support my personal request is that u don't drop this novel , i want to see the ending đ. and one last thing bro i really appreciate the way u unified all the content under one without any nation on top . i really hate when some authors praise there own nation but criticise other nations . i respect there patriotism towards there mother country but don't go showing hostility towards others nations . this may lead to unnecessary disputes .
e uma boa obra, consegue captar a atenção do leitor de forma significativa.
This novel is an absolute delight. The storytelling is smooth, and the way everything unfolds is just captivating. I'm looking forward to more chapters. Truly a remarkable read.
I really enjoy this novel and how everything is explained. The story flow is also perfect. Waiting to see more of this novel. Overall, it is an amazing novel.
Read until chapter 55, nothing really happens. Auther just keeps on rambling about the future and events that play no significance to the current events. MC is your typical useless luck struck plot armor MC. Outside of making money through the stock market, which he pawned of to one of the female characters, he really doesnât do anything important. The flow of the story is on the slow side and the events are so random that it ruins the reading experience. For the Auther. Donât explain so much useless information. Show your story donât tell. Show the MC having a meeting and telling each individual their goal and when they need to accomplish said goal by. In other words, youâre trying to make your MC this great leader without them showing any leadership skills. Donât tell us why a character is going to be important or how theyâre related to the MC, show us through their interactions with the MC. Example, when you had the two neighbors scene talking to his parents, donât explain who they are. Instead just leave them until they show up in the main plot of the story. Then inform the readers using the interaction between the MC and the other characters. Thatâs all Iâve got for you. In summary itâs not a bad story, the author just needs to learn how to write better. An editor would help but Iâm aware of how expensive that can get.
Reveal Spoiler
I like the novel and I am just curious if the MC gonna teach the heroines the duel cultivation technique he has in the future if so, I think itâs pretty good because all the other cultivation novels I have read only have the MC having to duel cultivation techniques, but not the heroines and it would be pretty good if the technique has a buff For an effect afterwards, but thatâs my opinion and you donât have to listen to it but so far I like the novel and the novel is Interesting and I hope you keep on updating it and keep on doing what youâre doing because I think the novel could be a pretty good novel and I hope that it will not end and discontinues even if you have to take a year off to think about more stuff about the novel and I think that could be One of the top 10 novels at this rate
Umm, the novel is really amazing in my opinion and has great potential, but it is kinda taking too long to start with the world and development and stuff, because until now I have noticed that the chapters are like 35% info dump, 20% describing the room or the clothes or whatever, 25% s*x scenes, and 20% actual story development and stuff, I would really like to focus more on the development because it becomes kinda annoying when I read a new chapter everyday only to find that 50% or something of the chapter is just info about whatever something he is using instead of just a simple description, makes me want to leave the novel until it accumulates like 500 chapters to have a decent read and get a decent development. But hey I love the story in general and canât wait to see him being OP against the people who will find out how strong he and his family are later on, thatâs why I keep waiting wanting to see whatâs going to happen, but it just doesnât go that way in the story, or it is just not moving on to see how he is going to make the city his the chamber of commerce workings or the sect and stuff like that you know. Thanks for reading my opinion, and sorry if you take offense to my criticism. (English is not my native language, so there may be grammar mistakes here and there in the comment, so sorry in advance)
beaucoup d'histoires intÊressant mais j'aimerais que tout les informations soient en français
This is an amazing story so far. I really like the development. Each character has their own uniqueness. I really recommend it. Keep up the amazing work, Author.
I, Melon Dao approve of this scripture and decided to add it to my forbidden library of culture. This venerable is very pleased as you are doing an honorable job of teaching and spreading culture and hope you continue this sacred quest. This scripture belongs to the genre of game to reality and Mc will develop an invincible family with different kinds of waifus (especially, Mother-in-law) Last but the least, This Scripture Has no NTR.
Hey everyone author here, this is the first time I wrote a novel and I love doing it. So if you are a new reader Welcome to this novel where you will be introduced to a Main Character with a laid-back personality but with a goal as he is reborn back to a month before the merge with a mobile game. This novel has a harem and a huge one at that with the female leads being just as overpowered as our MC. So please enjoy this novel and I am looking forward to your feedback and comments on this novel Thank you Anime_timez24
I just love this story very muc I'm a new writer and I just published first book titled "Beyond The Umbra", please read it and comment on it, your comments will help me with the book .
I watched the first 5 chapters and they were very good, but it's a shame they were so short.
Naah read 55 chapters of nonsense and excess stretching 40 chapters The story does not serve to approximately 6 chapters The world is supposed to be built and I understand it in these chapters but the writer did not offer anything on the table only more and more women and rewards to the point that he can complete them without taking advantage of the memories of his past, and this is a clear weakness I will stop here
hey author, how do I get to your discord. in the description, the link is expired. ??? plz resend send it here or somewhere.đ đ¤
there's too much explaining, half of the story so far is mostly game items instead of the plotđ
I love your work author and hope you keep going and wish you all the best. I hope for more action to be honest but i believe you will do your best :)
I havenât even read this yet, but let me just say, I find it so crazy that people canât even stand a kiss between two harem members, like do you guys not find that attractive? You say liking yuri in a harem is being a cuck? I wonder which of us is the bigger cuck thenâŚ..
In my humble opinion, you should refrain from using titles for things that were made by men that are derogatory towards women. If you care about someone, and share a bed with them, they shouldnât be titled a bed warming maid. If you treat them like that, you are subhuman trash
[img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls][img=More pls]
To be very honest the story in getting quite bland because till now it revolves around kingdom building and management of resources and their no major issues for the MC and no good fights but I hope the world building will be worth the time and I story will pickup the pace.
It's entirely great but there are a lot of unnecessary explanations. For example, he even explained how the icon is designed to introduce a mall or store. There are about 5 chapters that describe the items inside the mall. But I like the story and chapters a lot.
I love how the story is written and the detail of the world details. I think the main characters should not forgive his parents, "mother-in-law", "Fiance", or the "system" he had because what they are doing is messed up. literally his entire life is a lie they are just playing with him like he is a toy. after he finds out how could he trust anybody the people closest to him are just living to his face the entire time or hiding from him not wanting to reveal themselves unforgivable.
Although the story boasts a compelling plot and a diverse cast of characters, the progression is quite disappointing. Too much of the word count is dedicated to describing room and clothing designs, which detracts from the overall narrative. Given the brevity of the chapters, it often feels like Iâm reading a catalog rather than an engaging story
I just love the way the author developed the plot . i really like how u explained everything in details regarding the background settings like how the game mixed with reality and soo on. even though the story might feel like it was just all positive with no challenges for MC but come on dudes we have enough where all those MCs are fighting hard and can't protect their loved ones . I am not criticizing, those plots are very good and i enjoy them too but i find this one more appealing. and finally the author keep up the good work, I hope u get more popular and write more interesting novels like this u have our support my personal request is that u don't drop this novel , i want to see the ending đ. and one last thing bro i really appreciate the way u unified all the content under one without any nation on top . i really hate when some authors praise there own nation but criticise other nations . i respect there patriotism towards there mother country but don't go showing hostility towards others nations . this may lead to unnecessary disputes .
e uma boa obra, consegue captar a atenção do leitor de forma significativa.
This novel is an absolute delight. The storytelling is smooth, and the way everything unfolds is just captivating. I'm looking forward to more chapters. Truly a remarkable read.
I really enjoy this novel and how everything is explained. The story flow is also perfect. Waiting to see more of this novel. Overall, it is an amazing novel.
Read until chapter 55, nothing really happens. Auther just keeps on rambling about the future and events that play no significance to the current events. MC is your typical useless luck struck plot armor MC. Outside of making money through the stock market, which he pawned of to one of the female characters, he really doesnât do anything important. The flow of the story is on the slow side and the events are so random that it ruins the reading experience. For the Auther. Donât explain so much useless information. Show your story donât tell. Show the MC having a meeting and telling each individual their goal and when they need to accomplish said goal by. In other words, youâre trying to make your MC this great leader without them showing any leadership skills. Donât tell us why a character is going to be important or how theyâre related to the MC, show us through their interactions with the MC. Example, when you had the two neighbors scene talking to his parents, donât explain who they are. Instead just leave them until they show up in the main plot of the story. Then inform the readers using the interaction between the MC and the other characters. Thatâs all Iâve got for you. In summary itâs not a bad story, the author just needs to learn how to write better. An editor would help but Iâm aware of how expensive that can get.
Reveal Spoiler I like the novel and I am just curious if the MC gonna teach the heroines the duel cultivation technique he has in the future if so, I think itâs pretty good because all the other cultivation novels I have read only have the MC having to duel cultivation techniques, but not the heroines and it would be pretty good if the technique has a buff For an effect afterwards, but thatâs my opinion and you donât have to listen to it but so far I like the novel and the novel is Interesting and I hope you keep on updating it and keep on doing what youâre doing because I think the novel could be a pretty good novel and I hope that it will not end and discontinues even if you have to take a year off to think about more stuff about the novel and I think that could be One of the top 10 novels at this rate
Umm, the novel is really amazing in my opinion and has great potential, but it is kinda taking too long to start with the world and development and stuff, because until now I have noticed that the chapters are like 35% info dump, 20% describing the room or the clothes or whatever, 25% s*x scenes, and 20% actual story development and stuff, I would really like to focus more on the development because it becomes kinda annoying when I read a new chapter everyday only to find that 50% or something of the chapter is just info about whatever something he is using instead of just a simple description, makes me want to leave the novel until it accumulates like 500 chapters to have a decent read and get a decent development. But hey I love the story in general and canât wait to see him being OP against the people who will find out how strong he and his family are later on, thatâs why I keep waiting wanting to see whatâs going to happen, but it just doesnât go that way in the story, or it is just not moving on to see how he is going to make the city his the chamber of commerce workings or the sect and stuff like that you know. Thanks for reading my opinion, and sorry if you take offense to my criticism. (English is not my native language, so there may be grammar mistakes here and there in the comment, so sorry in advance)
beaucoup d'histoires intÊressant mais j'aimerais que tout les informations soient en français
This is an amazing story so far. I really like the development. Each character has their own uniqueness. I really recommend it. Keep up the amazing work, Author.
I, Melon Dao approve of this scripture and decided to add it to my forbidden library of culture. This venerable is very pleased as you are doing an honorable job of teaching and spreading culture and hope you continue this sacred quest. This scripture belongs to the genre of game to reality and Mc will develop an invincible family with different kinds of waifus (especially, Mother-in-law) Last but the least, This Scripture Has no NTR.