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Chapter 4: Update

Creature here: I'm making this to tell you that I'm doing a minor(major)rewrite of the last few chapters in order to flush out the characters more and to fix a mistake in the concepts chosen by Apollyon that I made brought to my attention.

However if you dont care just note that Sam is fine dont Panic. Also system stats will be explained next chapter. 😉

By Apathy_personified as it was through him that this flaw was made aware to me. That his choic of concepts overlap and conflict with each other in a brief convo we had In the comments I tried to make them more unique so tell me what you think oh and hes also the "friend" Reimannd references in the rewrite anyway I'm thankful for this constructive criticism as it has helped me really want to put in the work to further rework these few chapters over the next couple days.

However he wasn't the only reason as I felt that these chapters where very two dimensional in a sense with stale writing in the dialogue between the system and Apollyon just not working the way I wanted and if the trend continued I would have been too far in to want to restart.

The lack of backstory to make him a slightly more compelling Character didn't help either. Nor did the quick pacing that I had chosen for this story which didn't allow for more detailed world building a example being how he would react and interact with his creations and the 'people' around him and the forge scene that barely lasted a short paragraph I was heavily dissatisfied with the way I wrote this scene.

so I will be rewriting these chapters also please note that some character names will be changed along with their designs in order for more original or just because I like them more designs to be had. so if your a fan of doom and that's why your here note that some of these design elements will be toned down but still present.

Anyway chapter one was updated check it out and tell me what you think talking to you Apathy_personified, and all the others who have supported the story so far and I hope you enjoy.


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