Chapter 19: Chapter 19- GOM of Sirius Black
Sirius Black III was born into The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, a family known for its strict adherence to the principles of blood supremacy and its allegiance to the Dark Arts. His family lauded the values of "Toujours Pur", which Sirius found increasingly difficult to stomach as he started to understand the implications of this philosophy. Despite the family's staunch beliefs, Sirius was always the black sheep, having a rebellious and independent spirit that did not align with the Black family's traditionalist values.
Being the eldest son, Sirius was the apple of his parents' eyes until his presentation. The Black family had predominantly been Betas and on rare occasions, if they're lucky, one Alpha will present in the current century, making Sirius's presentation as an Alpha, a shock to everyone in the family. Sirius, being the first in his generation to present as an Alpha, naturally became a focal point of the family's attention.
His mother, Walburga Black, was both pleased and apprehensive about Sirius's presentation. On one hand, she believed Sirius had the potential to lead and strengthen the family's reputation with his Alpha status. On the other hand, she was also worried about his rebellious nature and his potential to disrupt the family's established order. His father, Orion Black, was more pragmatic and saw Sirius's presentation as an opportunity to forge powerful alliances through marriage contracts, similar to the one eventually arranged with the Malfoy family.
During his childhood, Sirius experienced a mix of privilege and pressure. He was privileged because his Alpha status offered him luxuries and advantages within the society and family. However, this status also came with intense scrutiny and expectations from his family and society. He was expected to behave a certain way, to uphold certain traditions, and to marry a suitable partner. All of this made Sirius feel trapped and suffocated, and he began to rebel against these constraints.
Always the rebellious spirit, Sirius began to question the Black family's beliefs at a young age. He found the idea of "Toujours Pur" to be hypocritical and inhumane, and he didn't hesitate to voice his opinions, much to his family's chagrin. This caused numerous fights within the family, with Sirius often being the instigator.
Despite the privileges he was afforded as an Alpha and a member of the Black family, Sirius yearned for freedom and independence. He began to resent his Alpha status, seeing it not as a privilege, but a shackle that bound him to his family's expectations and traditions.
His rebellious nature was often misunderstood by his family as mere teenage bravado or a phase that he would outgrow. But Sirius was steadfast in his beliefs, often clashing with his parents and causing scenes that disrupted the peace in the Black household. His parents' attempts to mold him into an ideal Alpha, one who would uphold the Black family's values and traditions, only fueled his rebellious spirit.
Despite the numerous confrontations and the differences in beliefs, Sirius loved his family, particularly his brother Regulus. He yearned for their acceptance, but not at the cost of his own beliefs and values. This internal conflict made his childhood days a constant struggle between his need for familial love and his desire for independence.
As Sirius Black grew older, the differences between him and his younger brother Regulus became more pronounced. Regulus embraced their parents' beliefs and traditions more readily. He sought to achieve their approval and uphold the Black family's values, even if it meant adhering to the principles of blood supremacy.
Sirius, on the other hand, continued to rebel against their family's ideals, finding them outdated and unjust. His Alpha status only further fueled his desire to challenge the norms and advocate for equality and acceptance. This widening ideological divide strained their relationship, leading to frequent clashes and disagreements.
Regulus, feeling torn between his loyalty to their family and his love for his brother, struggled to find his own identity amidst the conflicting beliefs. He admired Sirius's independence and courage but also feared the consequences of defying their parents. This created a constant tension between them, with Regulus torn between his love for his brother and his desire to fit in.
While they still cared for each other, their relationship became strained as they navigated their differing paths. Sirius's rebellious nature and his refusal to conform to the family's expectations left Regulus feeling overshadowed and neglected. He yearned for validation from both his family and Sirius, but found it increasingly difficult to find a balance between their conflicting worlds.
Despite the growing divide, there were occasional moments of understanding and brotherly connection. In private, away from the prying eyes of their family, they would share secrets, reminisce about their childhood adventures, and find solace in their shared experiences. These moments offered glimpses of the deep bond they once shared, reminding them of the love that still lingered beneath the surface.
However, as they approached their respective Hogwarts years, the gap between them widened further. Outside the Black household, Sirius found solace and companionship with friends who shared his views. These friendships offered him a glimpse of the world beyond the narrow lens of blood supremacy and gave him hope for a future where he could live freely, unburdened by his family's expectations.
Regulus, feeling isolated and conflicted, found solace under the wings of Lucius and aligning himself with like-minded individuals within their social circle.
The announcement of his engagement to Lucius Malfoy was another turning point in Sirius' life. The news of the arrangement, which he had been kept in the dark about, came as a shock. Feeling betrayed and cornered, Sirius's anger towards his family intensified. The engagement, however, also brought a new set of emotions and complications into Sirius's life, as he was forced to confront his feelings towards Lucius, and the reality of their impending union.
~~~
[The day had started out like any birthday: a lot of fussing, a lot of family, and a lot of noise. Sirius Black was only five, but he had already learned that family gatherings were more about showing off than actually celebrating anything. The fact that he'd presented as an Alpha only made the fussing worse.
His mother, Walburga, was practically radiating with pride. His father, Orion, was more reserved, but Sirius could see the satisfaction in his eyes. Being an Alpha meant a lot in their world – it meant power, respect, and the assumption of leadership. Sirius didn't fully understand it all yet, but he knew it was important.
The arrival of the Malfoys was highly anticipated. They were one of the oldest and most respected Pureblood families, and Walburga had made it very clear that Sirius was to be on his best behaviour. However, Sirius had other plans.
As the sleek, black carriage pulled up, Sirius watched as the Malfoys descended. He was particularly interested in the boy who stepped out, sandwiched between his parents. The boy was older than him, with strikingly pale blonde hair and icy blue eyes. He was undeniably beautiful, like a princess out of a fairy tale. His parents called him Lucius, and little Sirius found himself immediately fascinated.
Sirius watched as his parents greeted the Malfoys, exchanging pleasantries and compliments. He was supposed to be part of the welcome, but he was more interested in Lucius. The boy was standing straight, looking regal and composed. Sirius wondered what it must be like to be so serious all the time.
With a grin, Sirius decided to find out.
~~~
Once the adults were distracted with their own conversations, Sirius approached Lucius. His mother had warned him to behave, but Sirius was never one to follow rules. He took Lucius' hand, which surprised the older boy, and led him away from the crowd.
The courtyard was their destination. Sirius loved this place - it was filled with magical plants and creatures, a haven away from the strict world of adults. He dragged Lucius around, showing him everything and talking a mile a minute. Lucius, initially taken aback, seemed to relax and even started to laugh.
Sirius felt a jolt of pride. He had made the serious Lucius Malfoy laugh.
As they ran around, Sirius felt a sense of freedom he never felt with his family. Lucius was different. He was fun and interesting, and Sirius found himself enjoying the boy's company more than he ever had with his brother or cousins. Lucius wasn't like them. He wasn't focused on blood purity or status. He was just a boy, just like Sirius.
~~~
Eventually, they ended up by the fountain, catching their breath. Sirius turned to Lucius, curiosity burning in his eyes. He had never met an only child before. When Lucius admitted he was, Sirius was genuinely surprised. He couldn't imagine being alone, without his brother or cousins.
As they talked, Sirius realized that Lucius didn't really know about Muggles. This was another surprise. Sirius had always been curious about the world outside of theirs, and his Uncle Alphard had encouraged that curiosity. But Lucius seemed to have been sheltered from it.
Sirius was momentarily angry when Lucius repeated what his parents had told him about Muggles. But when Lucius admitted his lack of knowledge and curiosity, Sirius couldn't hold onto his anger. Instead, he felt a sense of kinship with Lucius. They were both curious, both wanting to see more of the world than their families would allow.
And then, on impulse, Sirius declared Lucius his new best friend. The boy was cute, fun, and didn't treat Sirius like just another Alpha. He was just Lucius, and Sirius found himself liking that.
However, Sirius hadn't expected Lucius to react as he did to his new nickname. The boy turned bright red and was clearly angry. But instead of being scared or upset, Sirius just found it funny. Lucius was cute when he was angry, his icy blue eyes flashing and his pale blonde hair catching the sun.
Sirius started to run, teasing Lucius as he did so. He could hear Lucius chasing him, shouting at him, and Sirius laughed. This was the most fun he had ever had on his birthday. And it was all because of Lucius.
As he ran, Sirius couldn't help but look back at Lucius. The boy was running after him, his face red and his eyes sparkling with anger. Sirius thought he looked beautiful, like a flower blooming in the middle of winter. And as he ran, Sirius couldn't help but think that this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. He was already looking forward to the next time he would see Lucius, to the next adventure they would have together.
In the end, Sirius didn't care about the expectations or the pressures of being an Alpha. He didn't care about family politics or the fussing. All he cared about was the boy running after him, the boy with the pale blonde hair and icy blue eyes, the boy who was his new best friend.
And as he ran, Sirius made a promise to himself. He would protect Lucius, no matter what. Because Lucius was his friend, and Sirius was an Alpha. And Alphas protected what was theirs.]
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[The grandeur of Malfoy Manor was overwhelming, even to a Black. It was a symbol of wealth and power, much like the Black family's own estate. But to Sirius, it was also a symbol of all the things he detested about his own family and the pureblood society they were a part of.
His arrival with his family was met with whispers and stares, both of which he had grown accustomed to since his presentation. He was a Black, an Alpha, and that meant he was watched closely. And tonight, he was being watched even more closely.
His eyes found Lucius almost immediately. The older boy was being led around the room by his parents, presented to guests as if he was some sort of trophy. Sirius felt a pang of annoyance. Lucius was more than an heir, and more than just a Malfoy. He was his friend, his pack.
When Lucius invited him to find a quieter place, Sirius hesitated for a moment then agreed. Anything was better than the crowded hall full of pompous wizards and witches. He followed Lucius out of the ballroom, away from the stifling crowd and into the cool night air.
The silence between them was uncomfortable, a stark contrast to the noise they had left behind. Sirius glanced at Lucius, unsure of what to say. He wanted to reach out, to bridge the gap between them, but he didn't know how. Suddenly, a terrible thought came to him.
What if Lucius changed? What if, amidst all the pureblood influences surrounding him, Lucius became one of them? Their letters sent to each other were already dwindling low. What if he became similar like his brother, Regulus?
Sirius snapped out of his thoughts when Lucius broke the silence, his voice soft and unexpected. "Aren't you going to congratulate me?" he asked, turning to face Sirius. His words hung in the air, an unspoken question looming between them.
Sirius was already panicking from his thoughts and was confused and lost at that moment. Congratulate him? For what?
His gaze hardened as he looked at Lucius. He couldn't help the words that slipped out, his fears consuming him. "Are you going to be just like them?" The question was more of an accusation than anything else. Sirius couldn't bear the thought of Lucius becoming like the rest of their families, obsessed with blood purity and dark arts.
Lucius's confusion was evident, but Sirius didn't care. He was already angry, hurt, and disappointed. He had thought Lucius was different, thought they shared the same beliefs. But now he wasn't so sure.
He watched as Lucius struggled to respond. His silence was damning. Sirius felt his heart sink. He had been wrong. He had been so sure that Lucius was part of his pack, that he was his, but now he wasn't so sure.
Disappointment filled him and he turned away from Lucius, his words hanging in the air between them. He couldn't stay here, couldn't bear to see the confusion and hurt on Lucius's face. Without another word, he walked away, leaving Lucius alone in the cool night air.
As he retreated, Sirius's mind was a whirl of thoughts and emotions. He felt a sharp sense of loss, of disappointment. He had lost a friend, lost a part of his pack. But most of all, he had lost a part of himself, a part he had given to Lucius. And now, he had to let go, because it was clear that they were not the same. They might have been once, but not anymore.]
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