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81.81% Is It Wrong to Cook in a Dungeon? / Chapter 9: An Otherworldly Meal

Chapter 9: An Otherworldly Meal

Ryo hung his cloak on the door of his room before walking over to the bed and plopping down on it as heavily as he could. He wriggled around on the mattress to test it out and bounced up and down a little to test the softness. It was okay, a bit on the hard side for his liking but luxury compared to forest ground under wet branches.

Unclipping his armour pieces, he tossed the chestplate onto the pillow and let his vambraces fall to the floor leaving him in just his sleeveless red tunic and his long sleeved black undershirt. Glancing over at the fireplace, he saw that there were already a couple of logs in there, waiting to be kindled. Not feeling like taking his flint out, he held out a hand towards it.

A little plume of fire appeared on his finger tip before he flicked it towards the log pile and it instantly ignited, making its way to soon becoming a roaring fire. He sat there for a few minutes, just staring int the flames as they grew brighter and hotter while he pulled on his limbs to loosen up the tendons. Stretching his neck from side to side, he released small sighs of satisfaction as his neck cracked and popped. Even as a Spirit, he was prone to ache.

The first Cursed Spirit to enter this world he was sure. Spirits in this world were separated into different categories which were as follows;

Salamander - Fire Spirits

Undine - Water Spirits

Gnome - Earth Spirits

Tonitrus - Lightning Spirits

Lux - Light Spirits

Shade - Darkness Spirits

And Ryo was a Cursed Spirit, away from whom magic shied and one who could control multiple different attributes, as well as subjugate spirit like creatures and make them his subordinates. And since whatever he touched with Cursed Energy became void of any magic and therefore may very well repel magical countermeasures, this world would probably class him as a Spirit that specialized in Curse Magic. Thanks to his previous endeavours, he knew that normal healing magic could not be used where he had hurt someone with an application of cursed energy, even less a Cursed Technique.

He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes as he dug deep into his supernatural senses, trying to feel out other members of his kin. Apparently that was a thing with him, the ability to sense other spirits and the usage of spirit magic. He pushed his range as far as he could, searching for any other spirits in the city. And there, just on the tinge of his spirit senses, he could sense two more profound imprints among others which were most certainly spirits like him. One of them seemed much more powerful than the other though...it felt younger and more energetic. The weaker one felt a little older and more recluse.

Searching around a bit more, he then turned his senses further away from the South and into the North of the city as he probed around there. And at the North-most point of the city did he find something a little...interesting. It was much different compared to the other irrelevant mortals that were crawling around like maggots in his senses, but it was spirit-like in nature, not quite there but a very close resemblant of a spirit, though it also shared similarities with the mortals...particularly humans.

"Hello Sword Princess." He muttered to himself before sitting up. "She really is a halfling...her magic could do with some work but it's not bad."

She still wouldn't be able to withstand a simple application of cursed energy from him though, of that he was certain. Having spent so many years waiting for his multiple Cursed Techniques to synchronise so he could use them in tandem and use different parts of each to compliment the applications of another, he'd grown quite familiar with the extent and potentials of his many abilities. A witless little girl was of no threat to him...yet.

Looking out the window, he saw that the sun was about to set and his stomach growled in hunger as he'd not had anything to eat besides an apple that morning. There was that small part of him that urged him to go out there and feast on perhaps an unsuspecting victim and drain them dry of their blood. Like that Martha girl for instance who was far too intrusive and nosy for her own good. But as much as he would like to indulge his near vampiric urges, there was far better food to be had than a hairless monkey for today.

Not that Martha smelled particularly bad. She actually smelled quite pleasant, and from what his nose could tell, she had healthy and decadent blood running through her veins. Was it any wonder why she matured so nicely despite being only 13 years of age? She was his type too. But from Ryo's experience, humans tended to smell pretty bad once you cut them open.

No, he'd finally reached the Labyrinth City after all that travelling and he was one step closer to opening house and rolling out meals from the kitchen. An occasion like this called for celebration. And what could be more fitting for celebration than a greasy bit of junk food? Calling up his status board using the Mukoda Template, he took a look at his current status and zeroed in on one particular ability.

+++

 Online Grocery System

+++

This was something he'd decided to get on a whim, simply because he thought it'd be interesting. And it would be useful if he could just quickly conjure something with it in an instance where he was lacking something and didn't have the time to hop realities to get it. Of course, the system could not provide everything he wanted because after all, it was just grocery orientated. But it offered enough to satisfy. Lifting a finger up to the skill on the screen, he tapped it once and heard the familiar, tropey sound of a holographic button being pressed.

There was a brilliant flash of white before his status screen widened and became a much larger screen, this time white in colour as it now displayed what looked to be some sort website for ordering groceries, complete with a search bar, a filter for lowest and highest prices, and even some pop-ups for discounts. It was almost like looking at a computer screen. Rubbing his hands at the assortment, he perused his options with great intent. He could never get tired of using this thing...something about it was just so fun.

"How much for a double-cheese burger?" He said to himself as he searched up the item in question and observed the results that came up. "620 Valis? That's double what I'm paying for my room per night...but then again, this does seem to match the prices back home. At least I'm fortunate that it doesn't equate to European or American prices. Those sorry bastards have got it tough...Now what to wash it all down with."

In the end, he went to down with a typical large cola alongside his burger and then he went to a confectionery where he ordered himself a nice slice of red velvet with extra cream cheese frosting.

Confirming his order, a little box appeared that prompted him to insert a coin in like a slot machine, so he could pay for his order. Drawing out a 1000 Valis coin from his pocket, he impatiently inserted in. The little box rippled a bit with colours before it accepted the coin and next to him, there was quick yet bright gathering of light before a box appeared from thin air and landed on his table.

Dismissing his grocery system, he approached the box and opened it, relishing the familiar smell of unhealthy and perhaps cancer inducing grease (or so some conspiracy theorists claimed). Inside was a paper bag that contained his burger and next to it was a paper cup with a transparent lid that showed the cola inside. The system was generous enough to drop some ice cubes in there for him. One the other end of the box was a triangular plastic cake box that contained his cake slice, and it also seemed to come with a plastic fork as well.

Now of course, priorities are priorities. So when he saw a packeted straw behind the paper bag, he pulled it out and tore off the paper wrapping to find a plastic straw to his relief.

"Thank goodness." Ryo said.

The paper straws which had become suddenly so popular amongst all fast food brands were truly a pain in the neck. 'All to save the turtles' they said. Who cared about the bloody turtles? The only thing they were good for was turtle soup.

If you could just go around pillaging and looting poorer countries so you could have the funds and resources necessary to mass produce these useless bloody paper straws amongst a whole bunch of other useless stuff whilst also circumventing international laws, then what worth were the turtles?

And if you were really so passionate about the reduced plastic thing, why make the cups made out of plastic and the straws paper? How about you hand over a plastic straw and a paper cup so people could save turtles and enjoy their bloody drink!

...

Ryo shook himself of the internal rant and just sat down at the desk to dig into his meal. The first bite of a cheeseburger after so long without having any was an indescribable moment. It was euphoric and delicious and the cola hit his sweet tooth just perfectly. He did find himself eating a lot of sweets but that was thanks to one of his templates. Having to keep refreshing your brain all the time needed sugar boosts, and naturally gave a person a craving for sweets which was just quick energy.

As he chewed on his burger, he thought on what he planned to do for tomorrow. First and foremost, he would have to get his citizenship and then see if he could gain entry to the Dungeon without the need of a Familia. The Guild was at core a business and with businesses, there was always some way to circumvent the general rules without getting penalised, some small loophole somewhere. It was just not in his best interest to get marked by a Falna. Having a god see some of his possible memories would be the least of his problems if that happened. And since he was also a Spirit, who knew what reaction the Falna might have to him.

If he could not go into the Dungeon...well he could still go in whether or not they liked it. But there was also the possibility of perhaps hiring adventurers to get monsters for him, that is provided the guild actually approved of his monster palate proposal. After all, when inspections took place, they would most certainly like to know what was being served. But adventurers were for the most part tiresome, incompetent scumbags who were only motivated by money and even then he did not have much capital.

Then he would have to pick out a place for him to actually build his restaurant...or rather secure it. He had a very good place in mind already that he could use as a restaurant. The place would just need a bit of work. But he would have to get the title deed to it first which was definitely going to hit his pocket whether he liked it or not.

Then there was the options of staff. At minimum he would need five people on table duty, preferably waitresses that would attract men to the dining with their service. He himself would partake in the kitchen, and he already had a sous-chef in place. But beyond that, he would need at least one more cook and then another who would be solely responsible for the desserts.

...

["...You'll get help, that I will promise you...but it will come from the most unexpected places..."]

...

He'd been given assurances, but he'd not been told where to find them. Not that he'd expected any more or less. He'd already been privileged with far too much than was fair. And he was used to being given outlined objectives, but also being depended upon to bring about those conclusions on his own merits and methods.

["...Learn and perfect your craft, and create a dish worthy of a being such as I..."]

...

Whoever was out there to help him with his establishment, he'd find them soon enough.

That reminded him...Bell wanted to be trained...and he had not exactly named a price for the boy.

Yes, that would work nicely. Bell would earn his keep and he himself would get some extra hands. Perhaps he would put the little twerp on bartender duties just so he could wizen up a bit. Nothing that would make more of man out of him in his speech and his approach than having to deal with rugged rough and drunk adventurers demanding booze.

Oh yes, and then there was also the fact that he would have to do a little 'scouting'. Dine at all the famous food establishments to see what kind of standard people held and also to see what was popular.

So much work to do, so little time.

...

While chewing and and writing down mental notes on a checklist, he paused as felt the temperature in the room grow a bit cold, even though the fire was still burning hot in the fireplace. He then sensed them in the room with him, forcing him to sigh as he turned his head to the darkest corner of the room.

"I thought I told you you to stay put." He said.

"...You did. I believe you said 'Until we get to the city'." Someone replied to him from the corner. "Due to that, in all manner of reason, I'm free to walk now out of your shadow."

"Then how about stepping out of them and into the light where I can see you for a start?" Ryo suggested.

In response, they came out. Out stepped someone dressed in Japanese monk attire, carrying the most blank expression one would find on a person's face. White haired and pale skinned, there stood the person he'd decided would fill in as his sous chef and his second in command when he was away messing about in the Dungeon.

"...Master Ryo." They said with the tiniest amount of reluctance.

"Uraume." He said simply.

...

The cold faced curse user surveyed the contents of the room before her eyes locked onto the box and the fast food in his hand. She then looked up to meet his cold gaze...red eyes that for sure contained evil, just as much as her old master. But this person before her was an entirely different monster. For sure he was an imitation of the Fallen in part, a notion she was wise enough not to proclaim out loud, but there was also a measure of intelligence and cunning to his eyes as well.

"...I could have prepared you a fitting meal worthy of this little celebration you're having, and for one with status such as yourself." She commented. "Instead you choose to eat worthless and processed junk."

"Your talents will be put to good use soon enough." Ryo smirked as he made a point of still looking at her while taking another bite. "And besides, as you are well aware, you do not get to dictate what it is I do nor do you have a choice in following my ambitions. I would advise you remember your place in all this."

"I know what happened and what part I play in all this." Uraume said as she folded her arms inside her robe. "I served Ryomen Sukuna for many years before his disappearance...but in all that time, I have become quite familiar with rituals and vows."

"But you also grew too confident in your former master's power that you partook in the ritual as well." Ryo smirked. "I still remember the look of disbelief on your face when he fell...it was truly delectable. Mmm, just remembering it makes this burger taste so much better."

"...How did you do it?" She muttered. "His own powers...none were more skilled with them than he and he fell to you all the same."

"Simple." Ryo stood up and tossed the wrapped into the fire. He grabbed a tissue that had been also sent in the box and with it wiped the grease from his mouth before also tossing it in the fireplace. "I overwhelmed him with a power he'd never seen before."

"All powers you used against him were ones he'd seen before." She commented.

"Makes you wonder doesn't it?" Ryo walked over to her and then leaned forwards so his face was in hers. "How does it feel knowing that upon betting on the success of one master, you ended up falling into the servitude of another who might as well very soon dress you up in a maid's outfit and parade you before a tavern full of lustful adventurers? With your androgynous appearance, you might fit either tastes. And you have no say in it at all, ever bound to follow my orders whether you like it or not?" He grinned a full toothed smile at her unwavering face, bearing two long fangs of his that he revealed for the first time.

"...I am of more use to you than that." She replied calmly. "You need me for things much that just serving as your sous chef...making a fool out me is a waste of time I could be spending on something productive."

"Huh." Ryo drew back, mildly impressed. "Is that the same way you used the to placate the Fallen every time he had a fit?"

"Sukuna did not have the mannerisms of a petulant child."

"But he was mindless monster, of that you can be certain." Ryo said. "He was one of the most brilliant minds when it came to cursed sorcery but at the heart of it all, he was a rabid animal that desired nothing but senseless destruction."

"I've dealt with my fair share of monsters." She said as she looked him up and down. "No matter their objectives. I think you'll find my work experience makes me quite the invaluable employee."

"It must do if he spared your life simply because of your culinary talents." Ryo turned the chair around sat down in it before putting one leg over the other. "You'll do well in the kitchen I hope."

"...I'll do my best." She said as she looked to the door before looking back at him. "I can't help but notice that for all your proclaimed disdain of humans, you seem to tolerate the ones that appear most annoying."

"Whatever are you talking about?" He said nonchalantly as he put the straw to his lips and finished the last of his drink.

"I sensed your emotions regarding that girl." Uraume said pointedly. "You recognised her before she even spoke her name. Same with the mother. From where do you know them?"

"I'm a world hopper, remember?"

"That would not explain you recognizing them in a world you've supposedly never been in before." She said. "Or are they world hoppers too?"

"You are speaking out of turn now." He said. "I don't tolerate any true nuisance either big or small. I gain nothing however out of killing her or her mother. I'd like to lay low for the first couple of days and murdering two women in a city full of people who benefit from their services is not a good way to begin."

"Then what use is 'the boy' to you?" Uraume asked. "He's a nobody that will not be missed, and a foreign face in a city full of people who could care nothing for him. I don't see why you kept him alive, let alone fed him from your food and healed his arm. Perhaps I could serve him up as my first offering to you, and as a true expression of my talents since you seem to appreciate human meat just as much as my former master."

"You will do no such thing." Ryo warned her as a dangerous glint appeared in his eyes. "Of all the mortals that exist and that we will ever come across, he is the only one I expressly forbid you from touching. If I find anything happened to him because of you, then you will find that even Ryomen Sukuna cannot match the horrors I will rain down on you. Be certain of that."

"Yes master." She said. "But as I am bound to your word, surely you can see that I would not be able to share the reason with anybody else unless you allowed me. I am well versed in sorcery as we've previously established. If I am to serve you, even in this little fad you're going through about restaurants and exotic culinary caterings, you could at least let me use my other talents as well."

"...The boy is of no use to me now." He said as he leaned back and took off his gloves and cracked his fingers. He then closed his eyes as he concentrated and released just a small amount of cursed energy into the room. Everybody in the street suddenly felt a very cold chill run down their spines as by instinct they sensed something ominous going on. But back in the room, black markings appeared on Ryo's chin and face, with one very prominent symbol on his forehead. His nails turned purple and grew into long claws which he flexed as he opened his eyes. "But at some point in the future, he will be. That's all you need to know."

Beneath his eyes, there emerged another pair, smaller and more outward in position to the sides of his head. Upon them opening, the appeared as smaller versions of his normal eyes, but they had a sharper look to them.

"...How may I be of service?" Uraume asked. Her eyes widened as a small rectangular object was suddenly flung into her hand.

"You're going to go shopping for me." He said as he dragged his finger vertically in his usual slashing motions.

But instead of the wall being sliced open, reality itself seemed to just split as space opened up like a tent flap, bright light pouring through from whatever was on the other side. Uraume looked at it before down at the object in her hands.

"A black credit card." She said as she looked at him. "I guess you want me to spend a lot then on some special endeavour?"

"I've pinned a list to the fridge." He waved her off. "Tools, building materials etc. It will all be covered by that card while you wait over there on that side for the stuff to arrive and collect it for me. In the meantime I'll be on this side, trying to settle in."

"Have you a place to build up from in mind already?" She asked him.

"Naturally." He said. "And with how run down it is, it won't be hard to acquire. Though I should expect to find a squatter living there already, it won't be long before I'm doing up my future establishment. They'll either vacate...or they'll pay some other way. But that's nothing you need to worry about. Just do as I've ordered you."

"Yes master." She said as she turned to the doorway between universes.

"And Uraume?" He said to her. "...Do the house chores while you're there too. Trash collection should be coming tomorrow so make sure to get it to the collectors."

"...Yes master." She said flatly.

"After all...what else are women useful for?"

His cruel laughter followed behind her as she stepped into the rift. A moment later, the opening in space and time closed, leaving him alone in the room once again.

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