Chapter 23: Headache and trauma
The two women left after that as I and my army of me's got to work memorizing the information in the pile on the floor. The stuff was surprisingly in depth for a world that seemed so primitive in so many regards. In nearly all regards this world was downright feudal as far as tech went but at the same time was also so advanced scientifically that you could make legitimate clones, create poisons that attacked genetics or even understand the ins and outs of the human body even with chakra taken into account.-
At the same time however electricity and light bulbs weren't really a thing in pretty much any house. The tech of this world was wildly disproportionate and I had no bloody idea why that was. You might think it was because of chakra but you'd be wrong since biological science which should have needed electrical science to advance did so without it like someone simply skipped a few hundred steps to reach that highly advanced stuff. Even this information I was memorizing was the sort of stuff you wouldn't think most doctors on earth to know yet was the basics here.-
To be fair though I understood why I needed to know this stuff as unlike doctors back on earth where treatment was basically boiled down to surgery and medication here we had chakra. It truly made all the difference as rather than needing to spend weeks, months or years to recover from a grave illness like cancer a skilled medical nin could have a patient with it up and about days later with but a few minutes of treatment. On earth a single medical nin of decent skill would practically be worshipped as a literal miracle worker.-
This was just for medical nin of regular skill but if you were to put someone like my sensei on earth they would practically be considered a god as life and death were playthings for them. The funny part was that nobody bats an eye at this fact here as while she was extremely well respected my sensei was not the object of worship she would be on earth, she was just a very good doctor to everyone here. Don't even get me started on the sort of effect a Jonin who specialized in ninjutsu would bring on earth.-
Anyways thanks to my couple dozen shadow clones I memorized the whole pile of information by the end of the day in exchange for the worst headache ever. My head was pounding and I felt almost like I had a nasty hangover which my sensei viciously capitalized on by being loud and bothersome. It didn't help that she was drunk off her ass and being taken care of by Shizune. My fellow student apparently wanted to warn me about the backlash of having so many shadow clones but I told her I already knew about it. Which was true since I planned on learning the jutsu eventually anyways.-
See shadow clones are different than normal chakra based clones in that each clone has all your thoughts and memories at the moment of it's creation but can still learn new things separate from yourself. The problem however was that when they are dismissed or destroyed you get all those new memories in an instant. This meant that if you have too many clones at once or even a single clone active for long enough to gain a significant amount of new memories when they are dismissed you get overloaded with all this new information.-
"But if you knew this would happen why did you do it?" Shizune asked confused.
"Because she mocked me and said it would take me a week. She hates losing right? Well I win this time." I said honestly while rubbing my temple.
She just stared at me speechless at that before having to go back to treating Tsunade's drunkenness. The blonde was her own biggest obstacle as despite making money as a medical nin traveling place to place she had a taste for alcohol and gambling that left her perpetually in debt. The funny part was that nobody ever bothered trying to get her to pay up in alternative ways because the people who did tended to require her help surviving after she was done with them.-
Yes the whole porn scenario with men trying to get in her pants because of her debt did happen and unlike in porn the only people getting fucked in that situation was the men as she beat them within an inch of their lives before fixing them and doing it again. Tsunade Senju was many things but loose was not one of them. Don't get me wrong she definite utilizes her looks to her advantage but she won't ever actually let anyone touch her like that.-
As for killing her because of her debt? Only the REALLY stupid folk tried that as she had the backing of Konoha, the hokage, literally all the influential people she's healed over the years across the elemental nations AND she was as strong as an S rank ninja to boot. Trying to kill her was like declaring open season on your ass to the whole world and just not a smart idea. That said I did discover one thing over the next week when she taught me off and on after she sobered up and realized I had proven her wrong, she was broken.-
I don't mean physically but rather mentally. There was a case when a man was attacked by a wolf pack in the forest while foraging and she REEKED of terror at the sight of him. Her scent was filled with it and she shook and hyperventilated the moment she saw the man. That was a dead give away of trauma according to the very same books she had me memorize. Shizune helped the man while I distracted my sensei from her past.
"You must think me pathetic after this huh?" she asked self depreciatingly as we sat outside the building on the ground.
"Not particularly no." I said honestly surprising her.
"Why not?" she asked confused.
"I might be young and inexperienced compared to you but I have felt loss before. I am not referring to my biological parents either but the death of the entire Uchiha clan. I never told anyone else but I felt that night as if I was right in the middle of it, each life getting suddenly ended one by one, all of it. Can you imagine how messed up that feels? The guttural reaction that it brings to feel that void show up? I was shattered by it." I said honestly and quietly.
"But the seals?" she asked astonished.
"My sensor abilities work differently than the normal sort and as a result aren't blocked by those seals even a little. That night changed me, perhaps not drastically but I developed a fear of weakness after that. The inability to do anything at all to stop something like that from happening again is what terrifies me. You being afraid of something you experienced in the past is no different so long as you don't allow that fear to control you like I don't allow my own fear to. It's a part of me that I will never be rid of but there is no reason why I should fixate on it rather than use it as fuel for improvement." I said firmly.
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