Chapter 73: Fallen Apostle Volume Two Chapter Twenty-Eight: Darkness (2)
He had felt this guilt ever since he managed to escape execution and found out what had happened. It wasn't just the tome, but the weight of his mother's corpse vanishing as well.
However, ever since that rusted bronze ax almost killed him, it had been flashing in his thoughts and memories again and again.
That was the closest he had been to death since Eve stabbed him through the chest, and it was ironically an enemy's action that had saved him.
His mortality kept rewinding in his mind like a flashbang, refusing his want to forget and move on.
If this was Deacon Ezor's goal all along, Leonidas had to say that the man was more fearsome than even he had given him credit for.
Still, the trouble was that even while knowing and understanding these matters, it didn't change anything.
These were the greatest schemes. The kind you could understand and see coming, but could do nothing to stop.
Leonidas clenched his jaw, squeezing his fists tightly.
'A Mage needs a calm mind and a confident spirit. How can I expect my Mana to flow smoothly if I'm so afraid of death? Is this what power is supposed to bring me?'
Leonidas understood everything but this one matter.
Why did he feel more fear the higher he climbed?
Why was he so weak?
Ironically, Leonidas felt that his heart had been stronger that day he knelt before his mother's grave, holding a butter knife to his neck, hoping it would be sharp enough to pierce through his flesh.
At least back then, he hadn't been afraid of death. In fact, he had embraced it.
'Live on, my son.'
The words echoed in Leonidas' mind like an anchor splashing into turbulent waters.
"Ha…"
Leonidas laughed at himself.
He couldn't remember the last time he opened his mind and laughed, the last time his eyes were filled with something other than a vast dullness.
He held more power in his hands than he ever had before. The same ogres that had ruined his mother's life, the same ilk that had caused his birth in the first place, were sliced apart like weeds before him.
And yet, he wasn't happy.
His mother had never asked him for anything in her life. All she did was give and give more. But, he somehow had the audacity to view her final words, her singular ask of him, like a burden.
He couldn't protect her in life, he couldn't protect her in death, and he withered before her only request of him.
Leonidas' fist slammed into the bark of a tree, his frail skin splitting and bleeding a dark rouge.
The more he tried to use Scholar's Eye and Scholar's Mind to calm his thoughts, the less effective it seemed to be.
'I won't let you down, mom.'
Leonidas' gaze flashed with a Berserk intent.
He would treat this like another long, drawn-out, painful body refinement session. These wounds his mind and heart were taking, he would grit his teeth through them all. When he came out the other side, he truly wanted to see who would dare to try and shake his resolve.
He refused to let his mother down again. He refused to shirk the expectations of the spirit that had given him the chance to grasp real power for the first time in his life.
Leonidas punched the tree again, causing the wound on his knuckle to split into a larger, harsher wound.
Heavy breathing caught Leonidas' attention as two women came into view.
Eve and Anabel seemed tired and worn, but their gazes were still bright.
When they first set out, Leonidas decided that they would fight in two separate groups like this.
If he stayed near Anabel too much, she wouldn't experience the appropriate pressure she should to improve quickly.
At the same time, he wouldn't be able to focus on improving himself as he would be splitting his attention.
Aside from the two of them, Eve needed to get used to her new Class and she was also the best teacher Anabel could ask for.
Anabel was used to overpowering her enemies with strength and speed as she usually had more than her opponents. This raw physical talent was the reason why the Siris family was hesitant to use her as a pawn.
If Anabel could combine her raw talent, with what Eve had learned through sweat, blood and tears, she would take a massive step forward.
"Finished?" Leonidas asked.
The two women frowned a small measure. As deep as Leonidas' voice usually was, it was even a measure deeper. The pressure he was giving off was also heavy, but it was simultaneously dark.
Eve was especially sensitive to this, her eyes drifting to Leonidas' fist as he slowly wrapped it in white bandages that quickly soaked up the dark, red-violet blood.
"Do you want me to heal it for you?" she asked.
Despite asking this, Eve expected Leonidas' shake of the head before it even came.
She had seen those kinds of wounds before, those self-inflicted wounds you would stare down until your eyes ached and dried.
Eve had experienced her fair share of those wounds, especially when she was younger.
She would throw herself into mission after mission, letting the aches and pain of her body build up as though she was punishing herself for her own weakness.
Funny enough, it was all those accumulated injuries in her youth that made her climb toward Level 3 even harder. The more beaten down her body became, the less potential it had as a Fighter.
Leonidas was a Mage, so he could even be in a wheelchair and progress just fine, at least in Eve's estimation. But, considering his battle style, if his body broke down…
Eve's hand reached forward, her palm resting on the back of Leonidas' half-bandaged hand.
"Heal."
Eve ignored Leonidas' request and cast the Level 1 Blessing.
With how frail Leonidas' body was and considering the wound was caused by a normal tree, a Level 1 Heal was more than enough to deal with it.
Leonidas' brows furrowed as he felt his skin mending itself, a pale gold light filling his limbs with warmth. Even hidden injuries within him quickly sealed, peeling away former scars in favor of smooth surfaces.
Eve could feel these changes as well. She didn't expect a Level 1 Heal to have such a large effect on Leonidas.
When deciding between using a Level 1 Heal and a Level 3 Heal, there were two factors to take into consideration.
The first was the strength of the target's body.
The second was the power behind the attack that had caused the wound.
The stronger the body of a target of Heal, the higher Level Heal would be necessary.
The more powerful the attack that had caused the wound, the higher Level the weapon, or the higher Level the Blessing that had powered the attack, the higher the Level of Heal would need to be to resolve said issues.
For a mere Level 1 Heal to envelop the body of a Level 3 Apostle like Leonidas so thoroughly, it could only be said that Leonidas' body was frail, even frailer than a normal human.
This sort of realization shocked Eve into silence.
'His body is so frail but his bones are so heavy… How does he do it?'
The secondary function of Heal was also as a detection-type Blessing. Upon casting Heal, one could essentially gain a scan of a person's entire body.
The more Eve saw, the more shocked she was.
Without allowing Leonidas to say anything more, she took a breath and circulated her Spirit with a fiercer momentum.
This was the first time she would be casting a Level 3 Heal, so it took her several breaths of time before her Spirit Circuit was completed.
"Heal."
The dull gold light became almost blinding.
Eve's Spirit drilled into Leonidas' pores, but the process was anything but violent. It was almost as though his entire body was being massaged by small, soft hands, even down to his very bones.
Taking advantage of the small perforations created by Leonidas' Bone Needling Potion, Eve's Level 3 Heal penetrated even deeper than she thought it could.
Leonidas' brows couldn't help but loosen. He felt like he was drifting on a cloud, his tail swishing in the skies.
He couldn't believe how deep Eve's Heal had gone. He originally thought that the passive healing Blessing he gained under Goddess Yves was more than enough to deal with these lingering problems, but he was shocked to find out just how wrong he was.
When the glow finally faded, Leonidas felt lighter on his feet than he ever had before.
Just a casual sweep of his Mana Sense told him that he was at least 20% stronger and faster now. Even the nagging ankle injury he had been nursing from his fight with the Level 2 Lower Ogre now felt like it had been a figment of his imagination.
'I spent six months bringing my body to the brink of death only to pull it back before the final plunge, it's no wonder… I guess Goddess Yves' Blessing wasn't enough. Or, maybe, it just wasn't fast enough to keep up.'
Leonidas' gaze shifted down toward Eve whose now golden eyes shone brightly.
"Thank you," he said lightly.
Leonidas found that his Mana flowed much more smoothly, much of the obstructions vanishing. He felt that he could finally step into the final Evolved Level with his Mana Blade Blessing and he could also progress more smoothly with Mana Hand.
It was like all his troubles had been washed away and the frustration of not progressing fast enough vanished into the wind.
"You have… four hearts?"
Eve's breathing was a bit heavy. She had poured a lot more Spirit than she needed to into that spell for Leonidas' sake, leaving her fatigued.
Her shock was warranted.
Setting aside the fact that most humanoid and even beast races had just a single heart, it had to be known that a Mage's Mana Pool was located within their heart!
A Fighter's Breath Pool was located at their lower stomach or where a woman's womb would be. A Healer's Spirit Pool was located in their mind. And finally, a Mage's Mana Pool was located in their heart.
For now, Leonidas' Mana Pool, although far larger than many Level 3 Mages, was just a small dot in his heart. However, when his Mana Pool matured it would form into a Mana Heart, turning his heart, or rather hearts, into precious gems.
When Eve saw that Leonidas had four hearts, and her Heal detected that this was the location of his Mana Pool, her own heart couldn't help but quicken. Was this the reason for Leonidas' talent as a Mage?
To her shock, though, three of Leonidas' hearts actually seemed to be sealed. She couldn't imagine what would happen the day they were unleashed.
"I do. But, my flesh is too frail to handle the beating of more than a single heart, so the others have been sealed," Leonidas explained.
"I see…" Eve nodded.
Anabel's pretty brown eyes widened at this realization. But, she didn't want to interrupt, so she only continued to listen.
"… Do you have a method to unseal them?"
"I will have to strengthen my flesh enough first. I have a method to do so, but I will need to become a Deacon first. Only by Promoting to a Warlock will I gain the ability to fuse my blood with my Mana. That way, tempering my body will become more efficient."
And though Leonidas didn't say it, he would also need to get his tome back. The method he described was within its pages, and if he couldn't reclaim it…
His hearts would be forever sealed.
Leonidas looked at the bandage on his hand. He no longer needed it, but he still tightened its final knot.
"Let's go. My only useful kill was that Paladin, we should be able to exchange it for a nice sum of Blessing Units."
"Leonidas," Eve called out again.
Leonidas turned back, his gaze having returned to its usual dull depth.
"You…" Eve tried to settle on the right words before her heart steeled, "remember what you said. You said that this bet I make is the last one I'll ever need to make, you said that your goal is far beyond what I can see. So, make sure you keep your promise."
Leonidas' heart skipped a beat.
Eve's meaning was clear. She was telling him not to run himself into the ground.
Anabel stepped forward and stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Eve. Though she didn't speak the same words aloud, her actions seemed to speak for her.
A peculiar feeling spread through Leonidas' chest. He thought it was his Mana for a moment as it had begun to flow much more freely. But, he soon dismissed it.
A woman will never again be my reason.
Those were words Leonidas had spoken to himself many times before, and even now he meant them.
Allow yourself to dream, to open yourself up to hope, to experience what kindness the world might have to offer, what love.
His mother's words weren't just a coded message. He could feel her passion and well wishes within them.
Love? Leonidas didn't know if he could feel such an emotion for anyone other than his mother.
But, this sort of feeling wasn't too bad either.
He had already decided that he would protect Anabel and Eve, and he never had any intention of abandoning them. His thought process had never involved emotion, he just knew he needed support and he felt that it was only right he pay them back for their investment in him.
Now, though, that feeling felt deeper than it had before and Leonidas' dull gaze actually gained a hint of life.
A woman would never be his reason, but he didn't mind them being his fuel from time to time. Maybe one day it would become more than that.
Suddenly, the looming image of the rusted bronze ax in his mind wasn't so heavy nor so large.
He was confident that he could gain the strength to crush it with the few weeks he had left.
Leonidas never really considered, though, what he would do when the same darkness that threatened to consume him today reared its ugly head once more.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
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