Chapter 26: What Does Your Ideal Type Look Like?
"Damn you, dog! Right there!!!"
-Groooom!
"Stay there, I said!"
In the peaceful room of the young lady today.
The young lady was playing tag with Gomtang.
It had been a month since Gomtang arrived, yet there was no sign of friendship between them; they were both busy growling at each other.
Gomtang, with an unwrapped chocolate bar in her mouth, was frantically jumping on the bed, while the young lady was trying hard to catch her.
Gomtang, the thief of the prepared snack chocolate.
The young lady gazed at Gomtang with a look of total despair.
"You little punk! Bring it here, quick!"
The young lady was making vehement attempts to catch Gomtang. Every attempt to catch her resulted in Gomtang leaping from the bed to the floor, and when given up on, she'd prancingly climb back onto the bed wagging her tail, seemingly enjoying the tease. Maybe taking after her rescuer, her teasing performance was top-grade.
"You little punk! Give it here!"
-Groooom!
Gomtang seemed to be mocking the young lady.
Like the Turkish ice cream vendor from her past life, playing a will you catch it? can't catch it?' game, taunting right in front of the young lady's eyes to such an extent that even I started to get angry watching them.
-Huff Huff
Gomtang panted heavily.
Maybe because of fattening her once scrawny frame over the past month, Gomtang, who had been successfully scaled up, wobbled and finally plopped down onto the floor.
The young lady pointed a finger at Gomtang.
"It's no good, Ricardo! Let's smear her with bean paste!"
The young lady spewed out threatening words in front of her pet. I, meanwhile, covered Gomtang's ears and spoke to the young lady.
"To our adorable Gomtang, bean paste? Shell be hurt if she hears that."
"Gomtang, whatever, it's all annoying!"
The young lady was earnest with her spinning eyes.
She looked at Gomtang, who was scratching her head with a menacing glare as though she may actually turn her into bear soup if toyed with any further.
I took out a chocolate from inside my clothes as a peace offering to appease the young lady on behalf of tactless Gomtang.
Upon seeing the chocolate in my hand, the young lady with a menacing gaze proclaimed,
"One piece won't cut it!"
Amidst such a chaos, I pretended to cave in to the young ladys greed-ridden honesty and took out two pieces of chocolate from my clothing.
I had brought her home, after all; I had to take responsibility.
Once the two pieces of chocolate were safely in the grasp of the still fuming young lady, she flashed a bright smile and gave a thumbs up.
"Heh!"
what is she praising over there?'
I'm the one who gave them to her. The young lady praised, tapping next to the bed, saying.
"Gomtang! Come here!"
-Grooom!
"Huh?"
Gomtang, wagging her tail naturally, climbed onto the bed and laid the stolen chocolate next to the young lady.
"Good job!"
The young lady petted Gomtang vigorously. The con artist-like expression on Gomtang's and the young lady's faces seemed like they had successfully scammed another fool.
Looking at them sporting evil smiles, I wondered,
Was I the one who got deceived?'
Swoosh. As the young lady pulled out a piece of jerky from her pocket, she began feeding one piece at a time to Gomtang.
That pig.'
I felt a wave of betrayal.
So it seemed, the pet was as good at teasing the butler as her owner was.
"Haa, I've been fooled again."
The young lady sarcastically remarked to me as I held my throbbing forehead.
"Being fooled is your mistake."
"That's true."
She was the one who imparted life's wisdom unto me.
A month had passed since the end of final exams.
During this time, a new family member came into our lives, and I had launched a fist at Michail a month that was truly remarkable.
During that time, someone from the Royal Academy visited, and the young lady, upon seeing her cleansed arm, cried buckets an impactful month had passed us by.
-So fortunate really it's fortunate!
-This is the power of all-purpose ointment.
-Duh don't be conned!
We hadn't lived excessively busy lives for a month.
There was nothing to do, and we didn't want to do anything.
Having money saved up meant to spend it thats the philosophy of life. Future savings were a problem for future me, so for a month, the young lady and I relished the life of the unemployed.
All debts must have been paid off by now. Having lived hard until now, surely a bit of idleness would be understood by the empty wallet.
With the heart of an unemployed with no desire to work, I threw my body towards the young lady's knees as she sat on the bed.
-Squish.
The thighs felt a bit firm but still pleasantly comfortable against the back of my head. The young lady's lap pillow could be considered unmatched in the entire world.
Two years ago, it was even softer and squishier, but the legs of the young lady who couldn't walk were devastatingly thin.
Concerned about straining the fragile legs of the young lady, I lay awkwardly, giving strength to my neck.
Her legs are frail, after all.
They are so skinny nothing but bone.'
Before the young lady could display a somber countenance, I hid my face beneath her abundant bosom. I didn't want to show my blue mood to the young lady.
Vowing once more to always hold the young lady high, I looked at the palms wrapped in bandages.
Rehabilitative touch.'
It was the only method to lean on for now.
Despite being hopeful, I harbored a tinge of unease about an ability I couldn't be sure of.
Not knowing how much my body might deteriorate.
Not being certain I could heal the young lady.
As I mused in bitterness, the young lady, now serving as my pillow, looked at me with an indifferent expression.
"You're heavy."
"There's nothing in my head so I'm lightweight."
"You have more than me!"
"It's light because I am but a commoner."
The young lady giggled and tried to push away my head, but as I stubbornly defended the prime spot, she eventually had no choice but to give up.
Despite the young lady not being able to feel her lower body, it seemed she did not fancy me lying on her thighs.
I rubbed my face against the young lady's skirt, a small laugh escaping me.
"Just for a bit."
"Eek!"
"I'll just lie here for a moment."
The young lady sighed deeply and focused on the chocolate.
A month's time.
Although it was a time spent in leisure, quite a lot had happened.
[The Pride of the Swordsmanship Department, Michail, Awakens His Aura!]
The article about Michail awakening his aura made the front page of the newspaper, and the rewards for the events of that day caused quite a stir in the empire.
I wasn't jealous, he received it because of me anyways.
I did not want to become famous anyway.
Nor did I fancy the bother of traveling all the way to the capital just to receive a mere award; it did not seem efficient.
Even if they were offering a large sum of money, I wouldn't want to travel to the distant capital just for a small commendation and a handshake with the headmaster of the Academy.
I'd much rather spend that time going to see the autumn foliage with the young lady.
Watching the young lady smearing her mouth with chocolate, I thought to myself,
Now that I think of it, we haven't gone to see the autumn leaves.'
I had completely forgotten about it, caught up with Michail's matters and having a new family member like Gomtang.
This year's foliage was exceptionally beautiful.
I turned my head to look outside the window. Leaves were falling, but fortunately, it seemed there was still enough scenery left to enjoy the fall foliage.
I stood up, looking at the young lady.
"Eat a lot, grow up healthy"
Feeding Gomtang pieces of jerky, the young lady had an evil plan which Gomtang, oblivious and happily accepting the jerky, didn't realize as she laid belly-up on the bed.
"Young lady."
Startled by my sudden call, the young lady twitched her shoulders.
In an awkward voice, she spoke to me.
"I didn't give you anything!"
The young lady quickly hid the jerky behind her back. The protruding edge of the jerky wrapper was in view, but I pretended not to notice and asked carefully, gazing outside.
"Would you have time for me today?"
"Time? I'm busy."
"But young lady, you claim to be busy despite being unemployed." Her sullen expression brought a smile to my face.
"I need to take an afternoon nap today."
"Cockroaches will come."
"No, it's fine. She eats them all anyway."
"..."
Considering Gomtang's suspiciously non-discerning appetite, I gave a slight nod.
"She is indeed great at catching them."
"Yes. So, I can sleep soundly."
"Come on, just take a day out with me."
Pointing out the window where the sunny rays were shining through brightly, I said to the young lady.
"It looks like a perfect day for hiking."
"Hiking?"
"Yes."
For a while, the young lady stared outside the window.
As the Hamel Mountains, filled with red and yellow autumn leaves, came into view, her eyes widened.
"It's a hassle."
"Why so? Let's go out, get some fresh air, and eat something delicious."
"No. It'll be hard for Ricardo to go up there."
Touched by the young lady's thoughtful consideration for the butler, I couldn't help but wear a pleased smile and I rolled up my right sleeve to show her.
Bare white forearm.
There were spots of dark scars, but it no longer hurt, and it was no longer decayed by black magic it looked normal now.
The young lady poked it with her finger.
"Is it all healed?"
"Yes."
"Hmmm"
It had been a month since I showed my hand to the young lady, but she was still apprehensive.
Still, she did not believe my words, continuing to apply ointment and wrap bandages on my completely healthy arm because of the precedents.
I flexed my arm to show her it was strong and nothing to worry about, but the young lady poking my forearm looked worried as she spoke to me.
"It seems like it's still hurting."
"It's completely healed."
"Ricardo is a liar, so I can't trust that."
I was left feeling somewhat guilty on several accounts.
After a brief moment of consideration, I gently but firmly lifted the young lady up in a princess carry.
A butler sometimes must ignore the master's opinions.
Facing the young lady's struggling, I declared,
"Let's go. Let's see the fall colors."
The young lady asked me,
"Do we have enough money?"
My reassuring gaze was my response.
"Hiking is free."
"Oh!"
The young lady smiled brightly.
It seemed I had received her permission.
Before leaving, the young lady said with a small laugh,
"Then let's have a drink!"
"Huh?"
"I've not tried it before Let's drink. Booze!"
The young lady, with a mischievous laugh, tugged at my clothes.
Booze, huh.
It would be my first time drinking here
Although I was slightly afraid the inexperienced young lady might get drunk, her clear and happy smile made it hard to refuse. I capitulated.
"Then just one bottle."
"Okay!"
Worried, I warned her,
"Just so you know, I'm a heavyweight drinker."
"A heavyweight?"
"Yeah, I can drink a lot."
"Oh"
The young lady puffed out her chest confidently and replied,
"I'm a heavyweight too!"
A foreboding feeling came over me.
Alcohol has a way of clouding a person's judgment.
Sometimes it turns people into fools.
Sometimes it makes one surrender to drunken stupor and cause accidents, while other times, it lends the courage to say things one wouldn't dare say while sober.
Near the scenic peak of the picturesque Hamel Mountains.
Laying out a picnic mat in the refreshing breeze, my gaze settled on the young lady seated in the wheelbarrow.
"Hmmm Hm~"
The young lady, obviously in high spirits from our rare outing, had a smile hanging on her lips.
Holding a bottle of liquor in one hand and chocolate in the other, the young lady leisurely enjoyed the moment while casting a watchful eye on the panting Gomtang.
"Ricardo."
"Yes?"
"She looks like she's about to die."
Heave heave
Gomtang, despite having two more legs than humans, panted with pitiful stamina. I contemplated that pulling a sled in the upcoming winter would be out of question for her.
I lifted the young lady from the wheelbarrow in a princess carry and remarked,
"She's only like this because she's gained weight."
"Oh Might she taste good if eaten?"
I clamped my mouth shut upon the lady's earnest query.
Various foods adorned the mat before us.
Fruits like apples and grapes.
Picnic staples like gimbap and even warm soup. Noticing the young lady's disinterested gaze on the lunchbox full of gimbap, I could see she had figured out something was off.
"This is strange."
The young lady poked at the gimbap.
Worried it might have spoiled, I lifted the lunchbox to sniff, but nothing smelled offonly the savory scent of sesame oil wafted up.
I wondered what she found peculiar.
I tried one, tasting nothing more than an ordinary gimbap, but the young ladys expression remained sour.
The young lady poked at the gimbap again with her chopsticks.
"There's too much grass in this."
Looking at the vegetables stuffed inside the gimbap, I finally understood why the young lady had been making such a sullen face.
The gimbap was crammed with ingredients she disliked: spinach, carrots, pickled radish, cucumber. And the most important ingredient, meat, was cut thinner than a pencil inside the gimbap.
It was the kind of food a carnivorous young lady like her would loathe.
She appeared disappointed, painstakingly removing the gimbap's contents. Condemning spinach as a plant of the devil and flinging it to the ground, tossing cucumber as a scourge of the world far off to the side.
"Picky eating is bad."
"Eating it might kill me."
"You won't die. In fact, avoiding these nutritious vegetables will harm your health."
The young lady glared at me sullenly.
"Feed that to her."
She pointed towards Gomtang, resting in the shade of a tree, worrying that at this rate the dog might turn into a pig instead.
I shook my head, responding to the young lady.
"If you don't eat it, there'll be no alcohol today."
"That's not fair!"
"It's the way it is."
As I flaunted the glistening bottle of alcohol before her, the young lady clenched her fist and tossed her chopsticks at me.
I dodged them effortlessly, carrying a smug expression.
"You're slow because you don't eat vegetables."
"Eek!!!"
She detested vegetables.
But she longed for alcohol.
The young lady stood at a crossroad of choices.
I kindly offered her an opportunity.
"You can squeal while eating, go on. "
Tears welling up, the young lady savored the lunchbox contents.
*** ***
The day was waning.
The young lady, having dozed off to the balmy breeze, was using my knees as a pillow as she breathed evenly in sleep.
As a gentle wind teased and tousled her hair, irritating her, she frowned and mumbled, "Uh uh Ricardo, the flies are gonna eat me Catch them." She was calling for her butler in her half-asleep state.
Feeling a bout of mischief, I covered her face with her own fluttering hair.
Whoosh. Buried under a cascade of hair, the young lady flailed her hands in the air.
"Uugh swarms of flies are coming Aaagh!"
Struggling fiercely, the young lady jerked awake with a start.
Dumbfounded.
Her eyes met mine, grinning impishly, and her fists curled into balls of anger. With a hollow expression, she accused me,
"Ricardo destroyed my dreamland."
"I am a demon king, after all."
"Eek!"
She plucked grass and threw it at me.
The night view was blossoming below Hamel Mountains.
Though it paled in comparison to the night scenery I had seen in Seoul in my previous life, the gleaming stars in the night sky and lights twinkling from the village painted a modest nocturnal vista.
I held a cool bottle of liquor to the cheek of the dozing young lady.
"Cold!"
Startled, the young lady's eyes snapped open. She looked around, drooling, apparently quite shocked by the chill.
I cautiously asked the young lady.
"Are you not going to drink?"
"Liquor!"
Shaking off the drowsiness, her eyes lit up with excitement as she eyed the bottle.
I brought over a chair I had prepared, sat the young lady down, and spun a bottle of brandy I'd bought on the way in front of her.
"Hamel Mountains 12-year-old, apple brandy."
Her eyes traced the circling bottle. The young lady clenched both fists and said eagerly as if she could already taste it,
"I don't know what it is, but it sounds delicious!"
"It was one gold at the market."
"Cheap, isn't it?"
Interest waned immediately at the notion of cheapness.
"It's a lie. I bought it at a premium price. For Miss Olivia's first drink, we couldn't possibly have cheap liquor."
"Hehe really?"
"Yes."
There was a shy smile on the young lady's face.
As I folded the blanket and built a respectable fire, the atmosphere became aptly inviting.
The young lady held her hands near the warm campfire. It seemed she liked this simple yet intimate atmosphere, far different from the grandiose society ballrooms filled with opulent chandeliers.
We would have to come here more often.
Skip the cold winter.
I thought we should come again in the approaching spring.
The young lady was looking forward to it.
The serene ambiance.
Her first drink as an adult.
And the company of a handsome man like me.
Perhaps not.
Anyway.
The young lady, on the brink of her first-ever act of rebellion, couldn't hide her girlish excitement.
Drinking at the Royal Academy was forbidden, and it had been impossible for her due to her injured leg.
Was I right in my thinking? The young lady fisted and unfurled her hands, blowing through her nose as if in preparation. I captured the sight of her cheerful smile with a soft chuckle.
"But, Ricardo."
The young lady looked around.
Scanning our surroundings, which consisted of nothing more than a couple of chairs and trees, the young lady tilted her head and asked me.
"Isn't there any food to go with the drink?"
"Food for the drink?"
"Yes. Don't you need something to munch on while drinking? I learned that from books."
"Ah"
I scratched the back of my head awkwardly, and the young lady's face fell, disappointed.
"That's okay! We have some leftover gimbap, right?"
"That's all been eaten by Gomtang."
I showed her the empty lunchbox with an awkward smile.
The young lady glared at Gomtang laying on the ground with a furious look.
"Her?"
"Yes?"
"She looks like she could be tasty."
Gomtang still seemed like emergency rations in the young lady's eyes.
Suppressing my laughter, I took out a large side-dish container from the rear seat of the wheelbarrow to show her.
A side-dish container filled with bright red meat and sausages.
It was a treasure chest, the cave of wonders for the young lady's drink accompaniment.
In my previous life, I had yearned to try glamping but met an early demise. My unfulfilled dream. It was a bit late, but I was fulfilling my childhood fantasy.
I placed the grill over the campfire and looked at the young lady, who was admiring me for the first time.
"Ricardo is so cool!"
To the obvious compliment, I nodded and confirmed.
"I know."
"Wow!"
Slowly, the meat cooked.
We poured each other's drinks.
The young lady, new to alcohol, furrowed her brows as she poured cautiously, asking, "More? Should I pour more?" Considering her yet-unknown tolerance, I only filled her cup halfway.
The incomplete pour left the young lady unsatisfied.
"Ehgehgeh"
Her face showed clear disapproval. She complained I was being overly cautious, but I just responded with an evasive shrug and a wry smile.
"Just try that much first. It might not be to your taste."
"Still."
The young lady sighed and looked at her glass. She smelled the golden-colored whiskey, furrowed her brow as if facing the truth.
She glared at me as if I had given her a tainted beverage.
"This smells odd. It stings my nose I feel like it could kill me."
"That's just how alcohol is."
"Really?"
"Yes."
I understood. Having been shocked myself by the smell the first time I drank alcohol, I could empathize with the young lady's reaction.
A pungent alcohol scent with notes of fruit. It seemed like it might be pleasant, yet there was also this foreboding sense that it should not be consumed.
I was curious to see what face the young lady would make, the one about to experience what was once only found in a lab.
I extended the glass to her, hesitatingly offering a toast.
"Cheers. Shall we?"
"Cheers?"
She held the glass awkwardly, not knowing the concept of cheers.'
I carefully tapped my glass to the young lady's, which she held in a daze.
With a clink, a clear sound resonated.
"That's what you call a toast."
"A toast? Why do we do this?"
"Uhm"
I wasn't quite sure myself.
For the sake of the eagerly learning young lady, I conjured up a plausible-sounding explanation.
"Maybe it's to ward off evil spirits?"
"You don't know?"
"No."
At my apparently meaningless reason, the young lady laughed brightly and extended her glass again.
"Let's do it again. Again!"
"Again?"
"We didn't do it properly!"
"Hehe"
With a soft smile, I extended my glass for another toast.
She came forward with a lively laugh, lifted her glass, and with a bright smile proclaimed,
"To world conquest!"
"Puhaha! What is that?"
"My dream."
The young lady, still clinging to her ambitions.
She certainly was a lady of great ambition.
Gulp. After taking a drink, the young lady contorted her face.
"Eeeyuck!!! It's awful!"
Alcohol makes people drunk.
It coaxes out the words left unsaid due to past grievances, and sometimes, it lends one the liquid bravery to speak on otherwise difficult matters.
In my past life, I was no different.
When a friend, who never bothered to contact me otherwise, called me out for a drink. Under the influence, they'd ask for a loan, or to sign up for insurance.
I still remember. That damn Lee x-woo
Anyway. Alcohol has a way of making people honest.
Near the peak of the Hamel Mountains, where a warm campfire burned softly.
The young lady frowned into her glass, eyes questioning whether this was truly a beverage for humans to consume. She, lost in thought, looked at me strangely as I down-shotted my drink.
"Bitter."
"It's supposed to be."
"Incredibly bitter."
"As expected."
The young lady, having braved a half glass in one gulp, learned the harsh taste of the drink. She then glanced at her glass, her face suggesting she'd never touch alcohol again, but pulled by my mocking implying her youth, she pushed her glass towards me.
"Pour me more."
"Didn't you find it unpleasant?"
"No, it's good."
"That's a lie."
A faint blush began showing on the young lady's ears.
I hid the bottle behind my back, refusing, while she proudly argued her capability, boasting about her resilient liver.
The young lady, her eyes slightly unfocused, didn't inspire much confidence.
Normally, she would bicker and growl with Gomtang, and I worried that alcohol might actually turn her into a real dog.
"You'll become a dog if you drink more."
"I'm already a dog."
"You'll become a mad dog."
"Whyyy! It's too little for just one glass. Give me another."
"I can't."
"Give me! Or I won't go home tonight."
With a huff, the young lady stubbornly persisted.
Knowing her as the lady who, as her dedicated butler for the past 13 years, always kept her word, I sighed long and hard to prevent her from sleeping outdoors.
"Alright Just one more glass."
"Hehe. Okay."
She shyly accepted the alcohol.
The buzz was kicking in.
Both for the young lady and myself.
Maybe it was because we hadn't drunk in a while, but the buzz of the alcohol was slowly dismantling the filters on our mouths.
-Michail, that jerk.
-Why are you cursing Michail!
-Aren't you annoyed? He looks like a leeching older brother.
-That's true. Then I also say, Ricardo, you jerk!
-Why are you cursing at me?
-You stole the chocolate.
-There will be no snacks for you tomorrow.
-Eek Ricardo, you're an angel!
-Too late.
Meaningless conversation flowed.
We blurted out whatever came to mind, laughed foolishly, debated whether orcs or bears were stronger such idle talk, taken seriously.
We engaged in mundane conversation. Not heavy talks of politics or academia, but light-hearted chat about trivial matters, emboldened by the effects of alcohol.
"I'm telling you! Back in the day, I was known as the social circle's belle!"
"Surely not the hell of flies kind of belle?"
"I was called a rose! A rose!"
"Quite a thorny one, weren't you?"
"Eek! Stop teasing me!"
"Puhahah!"
Back in my past life, I could handle three bottles of soju with ease
Maybe it was because the liquor was expensive, or maybe because I was drinking with such a pretty person but the alcohol tasted sweeter than usual.
Sip.
"Eh"
Sip.
"Oh?"
Sip.
"Uhihi!"
She was slowly getting to know the flavor of the liquor.
Crackle. By the dance of the hot campfire, the young lady held her glass and hesitated a moment.
Contemplating what to say, deep in thought, she tilted her glass. Just then, with a serious expression, the young lady cautiously began to speak.
"Ricardo."
"Yes?"
"You see"
Eyes filled with profound thought.
Her eyes, deepened by intoxication, felt oddly charged.
The young lady sighed heavily and threw a question at me.
"Are you going to get married?"
The question was so unexpected I let out a dry laugh. Marriage? I'd never even considered it.
I had always been too busy to think about it.
There were no women around.
The only women I had contact with were Hanna, Yuria, and the young lady none of whom would consider marrying me.
They were all thriving in their own right.
With plenty of better-suited people around them, why would they care for a commoner like me? I forced a bitter smile as I responded to the young lady.
"Why do you ask about marriage?"
"Just you're of marrying age now, Ricardo."
"Hm That's true. I've never thought about it, so I don't know."
"Aren't you going to?"
"Well"
The young lady fixed her gaze on the trembling surface of the drink, not lifting her head, her expression hidden from me, but I could guess what she might be feeling.
Maybe she doesn't want us to part.'
She must be worried that I wouldn't be by her side forever; typical selfish and wilful young lady, yet capable of envisioning the future, she might be struggling with these thoughts alone.
The liquor was making her reveal the emotions she'd kept hidden.
As someone in their early twenties without even a fiance or a woman he regularly contacted, she might be worried, yet also afraid of the possibility that someday the person who had been by her side would leave. Perhaps that's why she brought it up under the influence.
I looked at her resolutely, a small smile mingling with my voice, assuring her to cast away the worries she held inside.
"Marriage I might not be able to do it, you know?"
"Oh?"
Her expression turned cold at my words, the suggestion that maybe she was the reason I was held back reflected on her face. I thought to myself how lucky it was that she never took up acting.
It showed too much on her face.
With a playful tone, I teased her.
"It would indeed be a sin, for someone like me not to marry."
"It might be a blessing."
Her sincerity surfaced at the most unnecessary moment. I flicked her forehead lightly and continued teasing.
"Perhaps because I see the most beautiful person in the world every day, my standards have gotten too high."
"Beautiful?"
"Yes, a beauty with a blank mind and a love for chocolate. Merely pretty women? They don't catch my eye."
The young lady blushed and murmured subduedly, "That's probably true" as she shyly laughed.
Continuing the playful banter, I quipped.
"I was talking about someone in the mirror."
"Its not me?"
"No."
Only after seeing her carefree smile as she playfully tossed her fork did my worries subside.
In my heart, I confessed my true feelings.
Where would I go, leaving the young lady behind?'
The thought of leaving filled me with worry.
With a small smile, I asked the young lady,
"So, are you not planning to get married, young lady?"
"Me?"
Her expression fell.
Realizing my mistake but it being too late to backtrack, I put on a bright smile and said to her,
"Maybe once your leg heals"
"That's a good point."
She smiled faintly at me.
"Maybe I should just go ahead and marry Ricardo."
"How can you choose a husband so easily? You should consider my feelings too."
The young lady pouted her lips and glared at me.
"Do you dislike that idea?"
Could any man reject such words? In my mind, I had already envisioned having sons, daughters, and even great-grandchildren, and so, fully confident, I answered,
"How many children would you prefer?"
"Pervert."
Today, as usual, I was rejected by the young lady.
Alcohol turned serious conversations into laughter. It allowed us to lightly skip over topics that would have otherwise lingered gloomily in our sober minds.
The young lady and I shared a light moment of laughter, tossing aside our worries.
Fights. Politics. Friends. Accidents. While there are various topics suitable as accompaniments to alcohol, it seemed that love might be the best of all.
As the conversation turned from future plans to romance,
I cautiously repeated an earlier question to the young lady.
"Young lady."
"Hmm?"
"What's your ideal type like?"
"Me?"
"Yes."
"Hmm"
She furrowed her brow and was submerged in deep thought. When it came to matters of love, she always became extremely focused.
The young lady extended three fingers, folding one for each point as she listed them.
"Firstly, he must be handsome."
"Well, you might as well say me."
"Ricardo, you're not good-looking."
"I am more handsome than Ruin!"
"He's not a person, he's a lizard."
"Fair Enough."
Having inadvertently scored a point against Ruin, I clenched my fist. I thought about whether I should thank the young lady for even considering me human.
The young lady bent her second finger.
"Secondly, he must be kind."
"That sounds like me. Where else could you find someone as kind as me?"
She looked at me skeptically.
"You ran away with a beggar's money last time"
"Did you see that?"
"Yes."
I snorted and replied to the young lady.
"With that money, we bought and ate skewers, did we not?"
"Oh then you're kind. You pass."
I had earned the young lady's stamp of approval.
When it came time to bend the third finger, she said firmly,
"This one might be something Ricardo can't do."
"I'm a man capable of doing anything."
"That's a lie."
She was unnecessarily quick-witted.
"The third thing is that the third leg has to be-"
I quickly covered her mouth.
My face flushed with heat. I questioned whether I had really heard what I thought I just heard.
The young lady was looking at me with innocent eyes, wondering why I had reacted that way and what could be wrong with what she had said.
I asked her,
"Where did you learn that phrase!"
"In the philosophy book you gave me. 'Father, You Shouldn't Do This!' that's what it said."
"No well-"
It was as if I had been suddenly jolted awake.
The drunken haze seemed to clear entirely. I was thankful because this realization likely saved me from a wheelbarrow DUI, but looking at the young lady's naïve eyes, I knew I had to thoroughly scrutinize the books I had given her from now on.
The young lady asked with an innocent look,
"Why? The book says the bigger, the better. Is yours small, Ricardo?"
"What?"
She had touched upon a man's pride.
My face turned red, and I let out a deep sigh.
"No, it's not that but."
The irony was in the fact that the person who asked the question was less embarrassed than the one responding, causing my face to burn fiercely.
The young lady nodded with a contented expression.
"The book said so. A man's third leg must be robust and colossal."
She was unintentionally making risque jokes.
Then, the young lady posed another question to me.
"So, what's your ideal type, Ricardo?"
"I like breas- I mean! I like beautiful personalities!"
Right at that moment.
"Ugh, I'm getting drunk!"
The young lady fell over.
*** ***
"Hehe! Heeheehee!"
The young lady was drunk.
Holding her glass of liquor, she spun around, like a pendulum swinging left, then right, over and over.
"Hihi? Ricardo, the world is spinning! I'm flying!"
It was as if she had gone mad.
"Ricardooo~ why aren't you eating? Drink more!"
The young lady was in high spirits.
Mistaking Gomtang for me, she held on to the dog, sniffed it, and mumbled that it smelled tasty, pretending to eat the top of Gomtang's head.
She somehow managed to stand up and called attention to her empty glass.
"The glass is empty, Ricardo!"
"I will stop drinking now."
"Hey!"
As she attempted to pour more alcohol into my glass, she bore a sloppy grin and scolded the empty glass like a boss would chastise an employee.
I cautiously reached for the bottle in the young lady's hands and said,
"You're quite drunk, young lady."
"Not! I'm perfectly fine!"
The denial of a drunk is never credible. As I watched her slightly cross-eyed face, I became more certain of it.
"Yikes, my hand slipped."
The nagging I had overheard at dinner parties. If the young lady ever entered the workforce, I thought to myself, shed likely become an unbearable elder.
Reluctantly, I accepted the drink she poured.
The alcohol filled the glass indiscriminately, spilling over its rim. The young lady seemed unaware of this, still cheerfully insisting, "Eat. Eat." and nodding along, but if I had any more to drink, I felt I might end up worse off than Gomtang lying beside me.
Carefully, I took away the glass of liquor from the young lady's hand, and she opened her eyes wide, looking at her now empty hand.
"Huh?"
The young lady was startled.
"Why do you do that?"
"Someone stole my glass."
Tears were welling up in her eyes.
"Haah"
I realized it wouldn't be good to let her drink too much.
*** ***
On the way back to the mansion.
The young lady was lying in bed, sound asleep.
She was drooling on the pillow as she slept.
I stroked her hair and whispered softly,
"My ideal type is-"
At that moment, a faint light shone from my hand.
A blurry blue window appeared.
[The Touch of Rehabilitation is activated.]
I coughed up blood, but a smile never left my lips.
"It's you, My Lady~"
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone