Chapter 53: Chapter 53: Easily
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"Why would you hide yourself like that?" She had granted names to her friends at their request, but hiding one's name so effortlessly, living a lie without anyone being the wiser, it was something that made Rias feel like she didn't really even know Lelouch at all.
'That's because I don't.' Rias realized with a start, as she went over all she knew of her Knight. 'He supposedly comes from Britain, he's a great student, single, has never shown any true interest in any of his subjects, a genius when it comes to chess and other things, friends with Koneko and Kiba, a Devil with ever strengthening magical power.
' With the exception of the knowledge that she had learned after Lelouch had become a Devil, she really didn't know anything about the young man who had been serving her a little over a month.
Hell, she knew Issei better than Lelouch even though both had come into her Peerage at almost the same time.
Koneko stared up at her friend silently, her face not reflecting either her anticipation or her concern for how Lelouch was going to react.
'He holds his name close to his heart, he doesn't like to share much about himself.' She was willing to bet she knew more about him than anyone, save maybe Kiba or his little sister.
Her best friend had trusted her with his past, albeit a heavily edited version, but she had a feeling he wasn't ready to trust the rest of Rias' Peerage as much as he trusted her.
Kiba looked at his friend sadly, somewhat hurt by the deception, but understanding it easily enough. 'After all, haven't I done the same.' His name, granted to him by his King, was something he would always cherish.
As a result, he considered it to be his true name now, but in the past, he had been known by a different name, a name that was a part of him too. No matter the white-hot rage that burned through his damned soul as he thought about that other life.
"Lelouch is my given name, but the family name isn't Lamperouge." Lelouch had chosen to keep his and Nunnally's first names out of sentimentality, but the last name had been a creation of his own imagination. It held no power over his identity.
But even he hadn't any idea what identity was truly his own anymore. 'Who am I?' Lelouch wondered to himself, looking down at the dark bird sitting upon the black wolf's head as both stared up at him from his side.
'Exiled Prince, Student, Revolutionary, Emperor, Devil. Loving brother to Nunnally, or even Rolo, leader of a rebellion, a monster who became a martyr, or, in this world, a true Devil. Just who is the individual known by the name Lelouch?' Lelouch let out a sardonic chuckle, disturbing the others around him slightly.
'Am I Lelouch vi Britannia, loving brother to Nunnally and exiled Prince, Lelouch Lamperouge, a student who adores his younger sister and hides his past as a Prince, Zero, the masked leader of a rebellion who seeks to change the world, Lelouch Lamperouge, brother to Rolo and truly ordinary student, or am I Lelouch vi Britannia, Demon Emperor and man who would destroy the world to create it anew all for the sake of his younger sister's wish?' He had worn so many masks, so many faces, the only thing he had known for certain, the one thing that had remained true in his heart no matter the atrocities he committed, was his undying love for Nunnally and his goal to fulfill her dream.
'The true Lelouch is the one that is willing to do anything for Nunnally's sake.' Lelouch realized as his eyes widened, finally uncovering the identity that he had lost beneath his masks.
Physical or otherwise. 'That is who I truly am, and that is why I have felt so lost in this world.' It had been Nunnally who had given his life purpose, but he was finally being forced to live without her in this world of Devils, Angels, and Fallen Angels.
There was no one to give him purpose, no one to drive him. He was seeking power, but for what? Power for power's sake meant nothing, Lelouch knew that. So what did he desire now that his reason for living was no longer in the same world as him?
The answer came to him almost in an instant.
"I have concealed my identity in order to avoid having to answer for my past." Lelouch spoke confidently, his voice quiet but holding everyone's attention. "My past is something I would rather not share, as it is not a past that would endear anyone to me." He eyed everyone in the clearing, the last two he looked at being Kiba and Koneko.
"Where I am from and the things I have done, would make even Devils cringe in disgust." A lopsided grin graced his face as he tilted his head, another chuckle escaping his lips. "I guess you could say that even when I was human I was a demon." His laugh was short, but dark enough to disturb those who heard it.
A sigh escaped the Devil Knight's lips. "Regardless, I have a question, Master of Familiars." Lelouch directed his sole attention to the man who had led them through the forest. "If one does not know their true name, or is so unsure they do not know if the name they give for the ritual is truly their name, what would happen?" He wanted to know just in case he had been incorrect in his guess.
"I do not know." The man answered slowly, though still keeping with his pattern of speech. "The chances of a being like that existing are very low." He crossed his arms and tapped his chin with one hand, trying to give an honest answer to what he would expect to happen. "Though this has not happened before I imagine they would be very sore.
The ritual would fail and the bond would grow weak and stale." He mimed something breaking apart before wrapping up his answer. "Again I ask are you sure?" He questioned seriously.
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