Chapter 84: Chapter 78
Still at the DINER
ROBIN'S POV
Okay... Calm. I'm calm. I'm cool. Not like I just made the dumbest decision ever—picking a public place to ask her to spill everything. And all at once, too. Like I didn't already have a feeling it was going to be some mind-blowing stuff.
Woosah... woosah... woosah. I breathe in and out, doing that silly hand motion people do when they're trying to mimic yoga-loving, meditation-obsessed, plant-based people. No offense to them—it's just not for me. Couldn't be. Literally, I biologically can't. I need blood. And meat.
Oh, great. Sidetracked again.
Now that I'm calm—ish...
I stood up and opened my mouth, focusing hard to keep our little group bubble intact. Then, I compelled everyone in the room who wasn't part of our group to forget everything they'd seen or heard involving us in the last hour—and until we leave. Just for good measure, I went ahead and "edited" some memories of a few women I'd gotten a little... friendly with.
When I was done, everyone snapped out of their dazed state, acting like nothing had happened. They went back to their drinks, their conversations, whatever they were doing before.
A waitress started heading toward our table with my order, but Nasu intercepted her and brought it over himself.
Yeah, I ordered food. Don't look so shocked. I picked this place for two reasons: comfort and food.
Across the table, Alice and Jasper were watching me. Alice's expression was full of pride, which made sense. She'd seen me struggle back when I had no control over my gift. Jasper, on the other hand... He looked amazed, but there was also a flicker of fear in his eyes. Understandable. My gift lets me control people, mess with their minds. That would make anyone uneasy. Still, he didn't seem too put off—probably because Alice had already warned him about it. But seeing it happen in person? That's a whole different story.
I grabbed three fries and shoved them in my mouth before speaking again.
"Explain the last part," I said, keeping my voice steady. My emotions were already threatening to spiral again, just from remembering what she'd told me earlier.
Alice started explaining everything—how it happened, why, when, and where. I listened, trying not to let my mind wander too much.
The fries were my only solace. I kept shoving them in my mouth like they were an endless supply. And thanks to Nasu, they kind of were. He'd ordered more in advance and kept swapping out my empty plates without missing a beat.
Seriously, Nasu's a lifesaver. If his name were Sebas, it would suit him perfectly.
Every time I was about to lose it, I felt Jasper trying his best to calm me down. He was working overtime to keep me from snapping. But there was one part—one specific detail—that almost sent me over the edge: what happened before Rosalie was turned.
If I hadn't noticed Jasper start gasping for air—a vampire gasping, when they don't even need to breathe—I might've lost control. He was in so much pain, he was trying anything to find some relief. That sight alone snapped me back to reality, and I forcefully tried to calm myself.
It was hard. My mate—my Rosalie—she'd almost suffered the same fate as in the canon. The same horrific, tragic fate. I thought I'd saved her from that. I thought I'd changed things.
But no. Is this one of those "fate correcting itself" situations? Seriously? What is this, Final Destination? Where you think you're safe, think you've dodged the bullet, only for fate to circle back and get you anyway?
No. Let her go.
I'm not going to thank you for turning my Rosalie into a vampire. She didn't want this life. And even if she did—why did you have to do it that way, huh?
You know, if ruining someone's life were an Olympic sport, you'd have the gold medal. Hell, they'd name the event after you. "And in the 'Completely Destroying Someone's Future' finals, we have—oh look! It's you again! What a surprise!"
But seriously, did it ever cross your mind that maybe she didn't need a one-way ticket to bloodsucker hell? Maybe she just wanted a normal life—husband, kids, a white picket fence, maybe a dog? Not, y'know, immortality with a side of eternal thirst and no chance of Sunday brunch without someone screaming because she was sparkling like a disco ball?
I mean, congrats. You've officially made her allergic to everything fun: sunlight, garlic bread, and breathing. Clap it up. Great job.
And now? Now she's stuck in this nightmare forever, and I'm stuck trying to figure out how to make her smile again without her thinking about what she's lost. You've made that my job. So, yeah. Thanks for that. Really.
Haaaah. I'm so mad. Sorry for the rant. You can't imagine how much i want to lunch a certain ROB right now.
But after hearing all this. I knew that I needed to have a long, overdue talk that I was to chicken to do.
~~
Back at OLIVIA's room
The room was dimly lit, the soft hum of the city outside barely audible. I sat on the edge of the couch, my hands clasped tightly, knuckles paler than it already were. Across from me, Olivia leaned against the wall, arms crossed, her expression a mix of defiance and pain.
Fuck. I really want to just up and buy milk. But I'm not like that. They don't deserve that. This is just stupid talk, trying to distract myself from this scenario.
*Olivia, we need to talk,* I began, my hands, almost trembling. *I've been thinking... It's not safe for you to be around me. For you, for NJ—it's just not.*
Olivia's brow furrowed. "Robin, we've talked about this. I don't care how dangerous you think you are. I know who you are. I choose this."
I shook my head, a bitter smile tugging at my lips, *Olivia, this isn't just about danger. There's so much you don't understand. Even if I wanted to keep you in my life, even if I wanted to be selfish enough to turn you so you could stay... it wouldn't work. You wouldn't be mine*.
Olivia blinked, confused. "What do you mean I wouldn't be yours? I'm standing right here, telling you I love you. That I want this. How does turning me change that?"
I inaudibly sighed heavily, running a hand through my hair. *Because you're human, Olivia. You don't have... mates. Vampires do. And I already have one.* She looked away, guilt shadowing her face. *She's alive. Very much alive. I've been avoiding her for years, but that bond... it's there. It's permanent. It's a pull I can't erase or ignore.*
Lie, that's not true, there's actually a way to break a bond, there's vampires who can weaken and break bonds. But I'm not gonna tell her that, not after hearing Alice's warning.
Olivia's voice shook. "You've told me this before... You said that even if you turned me into a vampire, I wouldn't be with you? I'd—what? End up bonded to someone else?"
I nodded, my throat tight. *Yes. You'd be mated with someone else. That's how it works. And I couldn't handle that, Olivia. Seeing you, loving you, and knowing you belong to someone else—it would break me.*
Pretty selfish of me to say right? I also can imagine people saying you can just break her bond with the other vampire when you turn her, make a harem.. Blah blah blah... Bruh, trust me, when you turn into a vampire, it's a whole other experience, you are reborn, your mindset shifts, so will your feelings about some stuff you thought you cared about, and I think I didn't get the full experience or feeling of it because I'm only a half vampire, but the way how the other full blown vampires explainwd how they felt before and after they met their mate.
Even if they haven't met yet, even before they knew about the concept of 'Mates', a vampire will long for their other half.
So, No. I can't just cut their bond.
"Then why not just let me stay as I am?" Olivia's frustration flared. "Why do you have to push me away?"
I inaudibly sighed again, my fangs briefly flashing before I forced myself to calm down. *Because it's not allowed, Olivia. The supernatural community has laws. Strict ones. Vampires can't have human lovers. It's too dangerous—for both sides. If they found out about us, it wouldn't just be me who gets punished. You and NJ would be in danger too. And that's a risk I can't take.*
I already kinda explained this briefly to her last time, but.. Must've not sunk in, or she forgot because were in a emotionally packed situation. I don't smoke much, but i would really like to light one right now. I feel guilty for coming in to their life.
I could have just helped, and then skedaddled. I shouldn't have started playing house.
Did I subconsciously do it because I thought Rosalie was also doing it? That is messed up if it actually was like that.
Olivia stared at me, her voice trembling. "And what about NJ? What happens to her if you compel me to forget? She adores you, Robin. She calls you her 'cool mom.' You think she'll just be fine without you? That she won't notice you're gone?"
I flinched, guilt flickering across my face. *She's a kid, Olivia. Kids are resilient. She'd—*
"No," Olivia cut me off, stepping closer. "She's not just a kid. She's my daughter. She's a part of me. And she loves you. You've been more than a part of her life—you've been her family. And now you want to just... vanish? Like none of this ever happened?"
I know. It's true, and I love the kid. I truly do. But my world is too dangerous for them, and the kids has dreams, and her dreams doesn't beling in my world. I don't want to ruin her life.
Be strong me. We can do this. My heart is stone. Swallow your guilt. This is for the best.
I closed my eyes, pain twisting my features. *You think I want this? You think it doesn't kill me to imagine you and NJ out there, living some happy life while watching from the shadows? But at least you'd be safe, Olivia. At least I wouldn't be the thing that ruined you both.*
"You're not ruining us," Olivia said softly, tears brimming in her eyes. "You're part of what makes us whole. I don't care about your mate. I don't care about the laws. We'll figure it out. We have to. Because NJ and I? We don't want safe. We want you."
I looked at her, torn between the life I wanted and the reality I couldn't escape. The weight of my choices bore down on me shoulders, and I realized there were no good answers.
Oof. I keep digging my own grave huh.
*I can't promise you anything, Olivia,* I signed sadly. *And I can't be the reason you or NJ get hurt. Even if it breaks me to walk away, it's better than watching you both suffer because of what I am.*
Olivia reached out, her hand brushing against mine. "Then don't walk away. Fight for us. If you won't do it for me, do it for her. For NJ."
I reach out to place my hand on top of hers, it stayed there for a while. My emotions was in turmoil, I wanted to just say 'fuck it', and just be a total selfish bitch and not care if my actions will actually result to the bloody future Alice saw, but once again, I wimp out.
I looked down on our hands, I could feel her gaze on me, I willed myself to not look up and meet those eyes of hers, I don't trust myself to not cave. Women's tears are powerful. I know, I use them too, works wonders with my folks.
So... With one last gentle squeeze on her hand, I slowly let go... Stood up... And left without looking back.
As I walk out my now 'former home', hearing her crying... with the three other supernaturals following behind me at a distance, trying to give me a semblance of privacy and space, all I could think of was.
'If there was something to thank ROB for in that situation, it's the fact that NJ wasn't here'
~~
AN: Aaaaaaaaaaand a chapter is out again.
Life update. Internet sucks. Life sucks. Still poor, but I'm for y'all. Once a week for now, i need to work harder to fund stuff. Overall? Being an adult sucks!
Also, like always, thanks for the power stones mah friends! Yes i consider y'all as friends, you support me and comment, and like, and check up on me. Some y'all even send me stuff, so I can consider you as friends right? Or kinda?
Another update, like I said last time, I was gonna make a patreon, so I set it up, but since I'm kinda not good with stuff like that, it's still pretty bare, and with my internet and phone still being shitty, that's the best i could do atm since i can't write much until i get more funds, but dont worry guys! I'm working super hard for it. I don't actually think that anyone would join after seeing it.😂 I'll soon stock up some chaps, where you could read it in advance, but for now, that's it. 😅
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