We spent the next few days in peace and I didn't know how to describe the mood between us… We tried to act normal in front of the children but I was pretty sure we failed. We behaved like elementary school kids who first noticed the difference between boys and girls. We avoided physical contact, each other's gaze and after a while it became difficult to converse normally.
We weren't that bad when we first started dating. I wanted to go back to normal, but at that moment I didn't know what normal was for us. We've been apart for many years, and I believed that at our core we hadn't change but still, we're not the same anymore.
We both forgot and learned things that affected us. I wonder how he sees me now. Maybe that's the problem. I love him, but I am afraid he will fall out of love from the person I am today. Perhaps he has similar fears. But the only way to solve it was by interacting with each other, which was the hardest thing to do.
But at least I got closer to Ryenne. I kept asking him questions like Aprudeé suggested and it worked. He slowly opened up to me and realizing how deep his wounds were was heartbreaking.
He was the child of an elf and a human, so the elves looked down on him because he was a half-blood and the humans didn't see him as one of them. Some respected him and kept their distance, some were afraid of him, some saw an opportunity and treated him as an object to to be sold.
The elves didn't hate humans outright, but they considered them inferior to themselves, so they couldn't understand how his mother could be with one and they chased her away. They lived a peaceful life until his father died in an accident at work. After that, his mother tried to hide her heritage and worked in different places, but sooner or later her true identity was always revealed and they had to move. No one wanted to employ an elf because they were scared of the consequences.
Eventually, they started living in the forest and they could live relatively well thanks to their abilities. Until the day their home was discovered by some bastards. They were captured and sold to the highest bidder.
„Don't you want to find your mother?" I asked him.
„She is dead." Seeing his eyes, I didn't dare to ask any more question.
That was the reason why he hated his elf side. He thought they had been abandoned, which led to the downfall of his family, but I couldn't understand why he didn't hold a grudge against humans. They didn't treat them well either. Maybe it was because all the elves were horrible to him, but some people were kind. I am not sure.
I wanted to help him have an easy and good life, and I had the means, but because of his attachment to Aprudeé, I knew there was nothing I could do. She will take care of him and Eiran will help. This knowledge reassured me.
Caught between two species he will never have an easy life, but he can learn to adapt and handle his unique circumstances well. He was a very smart, observant and good-hearted kid, so he will do well. I believed it.
„How do you imagine your life?" I asked her when the boys went hunting for dinner one day. Eiran said she wanted to be the heir, so I wondered what she would say.
„With Ryenne. We promised each other that if we got out of that cell, we would always be there for each other. I will be the head of my family so I can take care of him and he can do whatever he wants."
„Why do you want to be the heir? You have three brothers." I looked at her inquiringly, but she stared back at me determinedly.
„My brothers all have things they want to do, I don't have anything. I like to paint, embroider something strange and take walks in the garden but these are just pastimes. And I know how lucky I am to have such good brothers. Many of my acquaintances have siblings with whom they don't even speak, or worse, hate each other. They always cared about me and provided me with only the best. They don't need it, but I want to repay it and take care of them when I grow up. And I don't want to lose our house. If we let go of our title, the new head will live in our house and we will have to go somewhere else. I am afraid of losing the place where we grew up and made memories. I'm scared if we lose the sure meeting point, our bond will loosen and then it will break."
Wow! From a young age I heard that I was a mature child, but that was because I was not really a kid. She was only eleven years old, but she thought everything through so well and saw her goals so clearly. I noticed it with my brother too, so maybe it's the result of an early and thorough education. Although this probably requires a good foundation to make it happen.
But I hope Aprudeé still had time to play around as an innocent child. No matter how many lectures Rihian had, he always had time to play and relax. My mother experienced it and my father knew how aristocrats raise their kids, so they wanted us to do the same. Well, my education started relatively early age in my previous life as well, the difference was in the subjects, content and level. Still, I never felt it was too much for me or Rihian, so I didn't protest. If I felt it was unreasonable, I would have spoken to my parents.
„I understand, I would hate to lose our home." I nodded in agreement.
„Are you the heiress of your family?"
„No, I am not. I have a younger brother and he will be the next lord. I was never interested in inheriting the title, and anyway in our country the male descendants are the first in the order of inheritance." I explained to her.
I couldn't hold back a smile. I can't argue and I hope this will change in the future, but I haven't felt the desire to try to change the existing rules. It sounded too tiring. „It's a shame. „I gave her a questioning look. „I thought it would be nice if you were the heir and looked after Eiran."
„Well, first of all, I could still take care of him, secondly, I think he has plenty of money, and thirdly, let me ask you this... Why do you think he would want to marry me?" She looked at me like I was stupid.
„It's obvious. He always looks at you longingly when you're not paying attention, and quickly turns around when you look his way. I have never seen him like that. He isn't suave at all." She shook her head sadly but I grinned openly.
I was sure of his love and his behaviour didn't go unnoticed, but still, it was good to hear it from someone else. Satisfaction and happiness bubbled up in my chest and I needed some time to be able to concentrate on anything again.