Chapter 33: A Fractured Past
Sirius turned around to see Remus Lupin staring at him coldly. He had been dreading this confrontation ever since he was set free. His old friend looked terrible—far too thin, and with a lot of grey hairs he was too young to have.
'Moony,' Sirius said, his voice choking up. 'It's good to see you.'
Remus's eyes narrowed. 'Don't call me that, Black. Your grandfather may have been able to trick the Wizengamot into letting you go, but we both know what you are.'
'I assure you, Remus, you cannot hate me for what happened more than I hate myself,' Sirius replied soberly.
Remus laughed bitterly. 'Really? So did Azkaban make you feel sorry you handed James and Lily over to Voldemort, and little Harry too? Or are you sorry because you got your master killed?'
'Don't you think I'd give anything for it to have been me who died instead of James?' Sirius shouted. Some of the Muggles turned to look at them, but most minded their own business. That had been one of the reasons the Marauders had always liked this pub in the first place. 'And what makes it worse, Moony, is that I know it's all my fault, and I couldn't do anything about it.'
Remus gave Sirius a funny look. 'I could almost believe you're sincere.' His expression turned hard. 'But you always were a good actor.'
Sirius chuckled. 'Not to you and James. You could always tell when I was lying.'
'Apparently not the one time it mattered.'
'I wasn't lying, Moony,' Sirius said in a hoarse whisper. 'Please, you're the one friend I have left. Let me explain.'
Remus thought a moment. 'I'll give you one chance.'
'Thank you,' Sirius said, sighing with relief.
'I'm not doing it for you,' Remus snapped. 'If you ask me it's more than you deserve. But James would have heard you out, even after everything. I'm living at my parents' old house. I assume you remember where it is?'
Sirius nodded.
'Meet me there tomorrow at noon.' Remus said.
Sirius winced. 'I'm sorry, Moony. I can't. I have to go to Sunday dinner at Malfoy Manor.'
'Of course,' Remus scoffed. 'I can't keep you from your dinner date with the Death Eaters.'
'How about later on?' Sirius asked. 'Maybe four o'clock in the afternoon?'
Remus nodded reluctantly. 'Four o'clock sharp.'
'I'll be there,' Sirius promised. Remus just shook his head and walked away.
After Sirius had polished off his pie and drained his ale, he went to Windermere Court to pick up his pyjamas before going back to Grimmauld Place. Harry had been perfectly content to wear some of Sirius's old things for the night, but Sirius had outgrown all his own castoffs, and absolutely refused to wear any of his father's old pyjamas. He stepped into the house to find Marius nursing his firewhisky in the parlour.
'Are you heading back to Grimmauld Place this evening?' he asked.
Sirius nodded. 'I just came by to pick up some pyjamas.'
'How is Pollux?'
Sirius shrugged. 'Not well. He's woken up a couple of times today, but he's never been lucid. Grandmamma said he was asking for Aries this morning.'
'It's good of you to do this,' Marius said. 'I know you and Pollux were never close.'
'He got me out prison, though.' Sirius smiled. 'I suppose I owe him. In any event, I'm mostly doing it for Grandmamma. I didn't expect her to take this so hard.'
Marius smirked. 'Curious, isn't it, how often the ones we hate are the ones we care for most deeply.'
'And vice versa,' Sirius agreed, and told his uncle about his run-in with Remus at the pub.
'Remus Lupin?' Marius furrowed his brow. 'That reminds me. You know he came by here a few years ago?'
'Remus did?' Sirius was surprised. 'Why?'
'He was looking for Harry Potter, as I recall, on Dumbledore's behalf.'
'Harry?' Sirius frowned. 'Did he figure out the truth?'
Marius nodded. 'Just about all of it.'
'Why didn't he go to Dumbledore?'
'Cassie intervened.'
Sirius's eyes went wide. 'What did she do?'
'I don't know,' Marius replied. 'She took him up to her quarters. When he returned he left without another word. She told me that she'd taken care of everything.'
'A Memory Charm?' Sirius suggested.
Marius nodded. 'I think that's most likely. Cassie's always been rather gifted in that area.'
Sirius thanked his uncle for the information before grabbing his pyjamas and Flooing over to Grimmauld Place. On his way up to his old bedroom he stopped by the library and retrieved a thick volume on Memory Charms.
Once upstairs he plopped on his bed and flipped through the book, looking for ways to restore a modified or erased memory. There did not seem to be a lot of options, but there was one spell that looked promising, and Sirius did not think it looked particularly difficult.
He set the book on his bedside table, dimmed the lights and drifted off to sleep. Perhaps there was a way he could regain Remus's trust after all.
.....
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