Chapter 48: New Home
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click tap.
Koneko bit her lip as she looked at her older sister from behind the tree.
Kuroka was on the bench, sake cup in one hand, while she stared up at the autumn moon.
In her other hand, she held Eren's cane by the handle, absently unsheathing the blade by the smallest amount, only to resheathe it right after.
Koneko knew she should be in bed. They had the championship match against Sairaorg Bael tomorrow, and she wanted to be in the best shape possible.
...Even if victory in a Rating Game tournament seemed so... small right now.
It was hard to get fired up about a fake battle when you learned your friend had fought through hell and was now out to destroy all you knew.
But Koneko Toujou was not in bed.
No, she was out in the middle of the night, looking at the familiar bench in a familiar park.
Kuroka had clearly not taken Mikasa's words well. She had been much quieter since learning about the nature of Eren's powers, less teasing and more introspective. She had also been looking a bit ragged, lacking her usual elegant seductiveness.
Koneko, getting out of bed a bit late for a midnight snack, had noticed that her sister's door had been open.
Seeing that empty room, a sense of panic and fear had overtaken Koneko.
It hadn't been logical, but she had been seized by a sense of crisis.
Had her sister left?
Again?
Like Eren?
Was Koneko going to be alone?
So Koneko had searched the entirety of the sprawling Hyoudou Residence they all lived in.
Kuroka wasn't in the kitchen. Or any of the living rooms. Or the entertainment rooms.
She wasn't on the roof, on the grounds, or in any of the bathrooms.
Koneko had been at her wit's end with worry.
So she had gone to Mikasa's room, only to find her missing.
That both reassured and doubled Koneko's terror.
Consciously, she was aware that if Mikasa was also missing, it likely meant Kuroka was with her.
Unconsciously, it meant that someone else had left her.
For the first time in almost a decade, Koneko wished she knew Senjutsu. Then, she could find her sister and trainer.
...Then Koneko might have been able to sense Eren, to stop him, before it was too late.
Koneko hadn't even thought of waking anyone else up, acting almost wholly on instinct to find her missing sister.
Not once did Koneko think of trusting Mikasa to bring Kuroka back if the latter had run. Nor did she even entertain the idea of just returning to bed and that the pair might have gone somewhere to train or something equally innocuous.
No, in her panic, Koneko did not even consider those possibilities.
All she knew was that she could not handle losing anyone else.
So, she set out looking for her sister and her minder.
To be fair to Koneko, she guessed where they were on the first go.
If they weren't at the Hyoudou residence, there was only one other place in Kuoh they'd go this late at night.
After a quick teleport to the Clubhouse and a run through the park, she found her sister sitting on the bench drinking.
It was the mood and the atmosphere that surrounded Kuroka that made Koneko hide more than anything else.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click tap.
Reassured, realizing her panic actions had been illogical in the first place, Koneko started to calm her racing heart.
"Joining me, nyaa?" Kuroka suddenly said, and Koneko flinched, thinking she had been discovered.
But Kuroka wasn't looking at her sister.
Instead, her gaze remained fixed on the sky, no longer focusing on the moon.
Mikasa Ackerman descended silently on devil wings to stand in front of the bench and its occupant.
"I wanted to see what you were doing," the Pawn said simply, not elaborating further.
"I didn't meet anyone yesterday or the day before that, and I won't meet anyone tomorrow or the day after," Kuroka snorted with a roll of her eyes and a swig of her drink. "I really did leave the Brigade. I have no intention of spying and reporting on anyone."
"And Eren?"
Kuroka didn't answer.
There was a long minute of awkward silence between the two women, and Koneko was seriously debating returning to bed.
Then Kuroka spoke again.
"He told me we'd never see each other again," the Black Cat eventually said. "...I don't think he was lying."
"Eren can lie. He can manipulate. But he only does it if he needs something from you. Otherwise, he's too emotional and hot-headed to bother."
"See," Kuroka said, gesturing at Mikasa with her saucer. "That. You say that so easily. It took years for me to learn that Eren wasn't some emotionless monster. You've only been with him a few months, yet you can confidently say something like that. I hate that."
"...I knew him most of his life."
"No," Kuroka said, setting her saucer to the side and facing Mikasa directly. "You didn't. He died at nineteen in your world, right? He has nineteen years here. I spent nine of them with him. So why can you read him like a book while I struggled to learn even a little about who he really is."
"Eren... he's been through a lot," Mikasa eventually said. "Our world was a cruel one."
"I am not talking about what he went through," Kuroka pressed with narrowed eyes. "I am talking about you. He never even said your name. I only know about Armin because he let something slip, but he never mentioned you."
"I am honestly surprised he talked about Armin at all." Mikasa wasn't being unkind, nor was she sugarcoating her words. "I didn't think he would. The three of us were... close."
It was clear Mikasa was uncomfortable with the situation to Koneko, torn between her duty to supervise Kuroka and a desire to not talk about her past.
Still, Kuroka was like a cat with yarn and would not let up.
"It is different with you, though," Kuroka accused, pointing a finger at the older woman accusingly. "Talking about you, it hurt him. And not just in the missing you sort of way."
"What are you getting at, cat?" Mikasa asked with narrowed eyes.
"What is the Rumbling?"
Koneko almost missed it when Mikasa's hand instinctively went to summon her weapons.
She didn't, though. Instead, the Pawn simply clenched her fists and answered.
"Guess."
"I do have a guess," Kuroka said. "It was an attack, right? Eren led those Yeagerists you talked about either to attack the non-Yeagerist Eldians or those other countries like Marley to start a war. I'm guessing other Titans were involved too. Eren had that Founder you mentioned and the Attack Titan you are scared of."
Mikasa didn't say anything, but even Koneko could see how her hand spasmed on instinct once more.
"I'm right, aren't I," Kuroka pressed triumphantly. "Then let me make one last guess. You did not side with Eren. You fought him, just like you are going to fight him again."
"What are you getting at, cat?" Mikasa repeated.
There was no hiding the anger in her voice.
"How did Eren die?"
Silence.
Absolute silence.
All the anger seemed to leave Mikasa in that dreadful silence.
All of... everything left her, and only a shell remained.
Koneko's fur stood on end at the absolute emptiness in Mikasa's voice.
"I am not going to tell you anything."
"You had no problem speaking a few days ago," Kuroka growled, clearly not pleased by the reply she was getting. "What's wrong? Not so talkative when you are the one getting hurt?"
"I never intended to hurt you," Mikasa spoke in that empty voice. "I just spoke the truth. Once again, you don't know what you are talking about."
"What are you getting at, dog?" Kuroka spat in mockery of Mikasa's earlier question.
"I don't hate you. I pity you."
It was Kuroka's turn to flinch, but she reacted the same way she had her entire life when hurt.
Kuroka lashed out like a wounded animal rather than let herself be vulnerable.
"Don't pull that crap with me. You're just mad that your man found someone else. Someone who actually cares. A real woman."
In a mocking gesture, Kuroka placed an arm beneath her chest and hefted them suggestively.
"No, Kuroka."
Koneko realized it was the first time she had heard Mikasa say her sister's name.
Mikasa said it without that soul-chilling emptiness but instead with pity, which made it all the more poignant.
"I hate that I am not the only one he loves. I hate that you got to spend more time with him. I hate that Eren needed you, that you were good for him. I hate that you could have made him happy. But I do not hate you."
"Why not?" Kuroka demanded, her fur entirely on end and her tails waving frantically. "I helped found an organization hell-bent on spreading chaos and destruction! I didn't do it for any noble reason. I did it because I want my sister and Eren. The rest of the world can burn for all I care. I stole your man! I turned him into the greatest threat this world has seen in thousands of years! I've been flaunting our relationship in your face! And you don't hate me? Are you just as emotionally dead as you look!?"
"I hate this burning jealousy. I hate that you can express your emotions better than me," Mikasa admitted quietly. "I don't hate you because I stopped basing my happiness on Eren long ago."
"...What?"
"I am grateful for the time we had here. I am... grateful that you told him to talk to me."
The last bit sounded like it was coming out through clenched teeth.
"When Eren dies, I will mourn him, no matter what he does. If there are other worlds out, I hope we meet there. We will meet again, and one day, we will be happy together, if it takes two thousand or twenty thousand years. But my happiness does not depend on him."
"Are you listening to yourself? You want to be with him, but you'll be happy without him?"
"Tell me Kuroka. If you died, do you want Eren to remain single for the rest of his life? To be alone and miserable."
"No! And don't change the subject. We are talking about you."
"I wouldn't either, no matter how jealous I am at the thought. And Eren is just as jealous as me. Just as pathetic as I am. We have long lives ahead of us. All of us. And Eren would want us to be happy."
"...You're speaking like he's already dead."
"Unlike you all, I have gone through this all before. I have buried Eren once already." There was a note of listlessness in Mikasa's voice. A weariness that made her sound just as exhausted as Kuroka had been these last few days. "He asked me if I could do it again, and I told him I could. I will. Because loving Eren is to be hurt. But love's beauty is worth its cruelty."
Mikasa's wings unfurled again, and she looked ready to take off.
"That's why I don't hate you, Kuroka. Because you are the only one who understands that. Now talk to your sister. You've put it off long enough."
Koneko froze as Mikasa took to the air once more.
She didn't get far.
"Wait!" Kuroka called, and Mikasa looked down at the cat girl blankly. Not the void of emotion, but simply not conveying emotion. "...You said he had two other powers. The Attack Titan and the Founder. You said he'd be the strongest being in the world. Were you telling the truth?"
"I was."
"If... If he could get those powers back," Kuroka hesitated, looking almost scared by her words. "If he had all that power, could we save him? Could he find a way to heal himself?"
Mikasa grew distant, no longer staring down at Kuroka but out into the night.
Maybe she was thinking about what could have been.
"...Maybe. But I am glad he doesn't have the Founder. Nobody deserves that hell. Not even Eren."
Mikasa shook her head as if shaking herself out of the funk Kuroka's words brought.
"No. If Eren could use the Founder, he'd need to die. It would be the only way for him to be free."
Then Mikasa was gone, retaking to her position to watch Kuroka from the sky.
...Or she went home, Koneko didn't know.
Either way, it was clear the Pawn didn't want to talk anymore.
Koneko, feeling like she had seen something she shouldn't have, decided it was time to go back to bed.
"Shironyaaaaaa~"
Koneko froze, instinct holding her place at the singsong purr in her sister's voice.
"Did you come looking for Onee-sama," Kuroka asked, having retaken her seat on the bench and looking directly at her younger sister's hiding place in the tree. "Did you have a nightmare? Want to sleep with Onee-sama tonight?"
With deliberate movements, Koneko stepped out from behind the tree.
Kuroka didn't move besides picking up her sake saucer again, but her eyes never left Koneko's.
"...Nee-san," Koneko greeted quietly, suddenly very aware of how vulnerable she was out here alone at night with the black cat.
Kuroka was a seven-tailed nekomata, tied for the strongest their race had ever produced.
Even with Mikasa nearby, it would be effortless for the former Stray to rush at the Rook, grab her, and teleport away before she could be stopped.
Almost as if she could sense Koneko's sudden wariness, Kuroka's playful smile softened to something sadder.
"Onee-sama really is going to stay with Shirone," she said gently. "I promise I won't hurt you again."
"...What about Eren?"
"What about him?" Kuroka asked curiously.
"What if he comes back?"
"He won't," Kuroka said with absolute confidence. "At least not yet. Not till he's done. He's too set on his plan to stop now. I am just here to make sure Shirone is safe while he does it, nyaa."
"... Even if the rest of the world burns?"
Kuroka didn't answer, sipping her sake and gazing at the moon.
"... You knew I was there," Koneko accused.
"I did," Kuroka nodded. "So did she. That's why she came down tonight. Instead of ignoring me again, she wanted you to know she was here. She's just like Eren. They both want to talk, to explain themselves, but are terrible at it. You need to push them sometimes."
"It was a ruse?"
"Nyaa, isn't Onee-sama smart~" Kuroka stuck her tongue out playfully.
Koneko just watched her, hatting how she knew that Kuroka was lying.
Maybe not completely. Maybe there was some truth to the former Straystray's use of Koneko's presence to bait Mikasa out, but those emotions, that rage, had not been a ruse.
The listlessness over the last few days was not a ruse, nor was the white-knuckled grip on Eren's cane faked.
Mikasa's words still haunted them all. Koneko knew Asia had nightmares, and Yuuto had confessed to having one himself, involving getting eaten by a giant.
Even Koneko thought back to all those naps she shared with Eren, all those long afternoons of companionable silence, and wondered what horrors he had been reliving while she remained blissfully ignorant.
How much worse was it for Kuroka, who had seen a Titan in person? Who had known Eren had that power without ever knowing what he had to do to get it?
And Koneko could see that haunted look in her sister.
Even after all these years, Koneko hated how easy it was to read her older sister.
"Onee-sama... never pretended to be a good woman," Kuroka eventually said after a long moment of staring from her younger sister. "When it was just us, I did bad things so we could survive. I did worse with the Naberius. Onee-sama's never been a good kitty, Shironyaa~"
Though she singsonged the last sentence in her usual playful tone, Kuroka finished off her sake with a long drag and a self-deprecating smile.
She then pulled a jug out of... somewhere and poured herself more.
"But that's all gonna change, nyaa," Kuroka giggled.
It came out forced.
"Onee-sama has a clean start now. One she can share with Shirone."
Kuroka raised the sake again. Her following sentence was spoken so quietly into the drink that Koneko was unsure if she was supposed to hear it.
"All she had to do was sell out the man she loves."
"...Nee-san."
"Ah, don't worry about Onee-sama," Kuroka hurried to shake her head and gave Koneko a smile that was supposed to be reassuring. It wasn't. "She's going to get those kittens from Brother-in-law, even if they're not titans. Then Onee-sama, Brother-in-law, and Shirone can all live together... I guess Eren can keep the dog since she makes him happy. But besides that, it will be perfect. Shirone will see, nyaa."
"Nee-san," Koneko said, gathering her courage. "What about Issei?" Kuroka winced, looking away. "Does Eren really plan to kill him?"
Koneko hadn't really liked Issei when they first met. He was a pervert, after all. One obsessed with big breasts while Koneko was still young and hadn't hit her growth spurt yet.
But...
Issei grew on her. She still had no idea what Asia, Irina, Xenovia, and Ravel saw in him regarding romantic partners, but Koneko couldn't deny that he was a friend.
She spent hours with him, training to fight like a Rook and helping on jobs. He was a reliable comrade, stupidly honest, and had a strong work ethic.
More than that, under his perversion and naivety, Issei was simply a very kind boy.
In a world filled with those who chased power for power's sake, fame, or politics, seeing a Red Dragon Emperor, famed for their city-destroying rampages, singing with devil children on a television set was one of the most heartwarming sights Koneko could imagine.
Issei... was precisely who he seemed to be. Not two-dimensional but not super complicated either. No traumatic backstory, secret agenda, or long-term game plan. Issei was a simple, perverted, honest, and driven boy.
Issei was just Issei, and he didn't deserve to die.
"Eren... has a plan," Kuroka tried to say gently. "I don't know the details. But... the Red Dragon Emperor... for the plan to work... Issei needs to die."
Koneko didn't have to think about her response. It just came out.
"Then Eren won't be happy."
Koneko hadn't spent nearly as long with Eren as her sister or Mikasa. Nor had she spoken with him as much as Sona, Rias, or Akeno had, and she didn't call him Senpai like Yuuto and Issei, but Koneko did know Eren in her own way.
If Eren had to kill Issei to achieve his goals, then even if he lived, reunited with Kuroka, and was free in the end, Eren would never be happy with that kind of life.
Because Eren, too, in his own hurt way, was kind.
Eren might be able to make hard choices and might be able to build a world he wanted even if it meant his friends dying, but Eren wouldn't be able to live happily in a world built on friends he killed directly.
Kuroka bit her lips and looked away again.
"...And I wouldn't be either," Koneko finally said as she finished her approach and sat on the bench with her sister, though they were on opposite sides.
"I... I just want us to be together and safe," Kuroka admitted, squeezing Eren's cane tightly. "Is that too much to ask?"
"You left." Kuroka flinched as if Koneko had punched her. "You might have had good reasons, but you left me."
"I know."
"Safety... It's not happiness," Koneko said, looking at her small hands. "I never cared about safety. Maybe I was too young and didn't understand danger, but I never cared that we weren't safe."
"Shirone..."
"Because I had my Onee-sama with me."
Koneko leaned away from Kuroka, who tried to reach out to touch her. The older sister froze while the younger one furiously rubbed the tears from her eyes.
When she could, Koneko looked at Kuroka again.
"Even after Rias took me in, even after I was safe, I wasn't happy. Because my Onee-sama had left me behind."
"If I could have taken you with me, I would have," Kuroka pleaded. "Without Eren, I might not have even survived to leave the Underworld."
"I don't know if you did the right thing or not," Koneko said, shaking her head, but her eyes were sad. "All I know was that it took years for me to be happy again—with my new family."
It hurt Koneko how heartbroken her older sister looked, but she needed to get these words out.
Needed to face her fear.
Needed to wipe the slate clean so they both could move forward.
"I understand why you did it, but I don't forgive you for leaving me, Nee-san," Koneko stared into feline eyes as she drew her line in the sand. "Even knowing you were doing it because you thought you were saving me, I don't forgive you for hurting me."
"Shirone..." This time, it was Kuroka's eyes that started to water.
Koneko pushed on. She needed to get this out because she wasn't sure she could say it all if she stopped now.
"I found other people who make me happy. Rias, Akeno, Gasper, Yuuto, Eren, the pervert, Asia, Xenovia, the Gremory Family, and others. That's what Aunty was talking about. That's why she can fight Eren. Because her happiness is not dependent on only him, and mine isn't dependent on only you anymore, Nee-san."
Despite saying she couldn't forgive her sister and meaning it, Koneko took no pleasure in the pain her words were causing.
She was sure that if she was anyone else, Kuroka would have lashed out in response with her own hurtful words or coy veneer.
But she wasn't anyone else.
She was Shirone... Or she had been.
Right now, she was Koneko Toujo, the name Rias had given her. The name she had found happiness under.
"You aren't part of my new family," Koneko declared firmly. Then, she continued in a much softer, much more vulnerable voice. "But I want my Onee-sama to be part of it."
There it was.
The raw, unvarnished truth.
Despite the pain, the nightmares, the abandonment, and the loss Koneko had felt over the years, there would always be a part of her that yearned for her older sister once more. The part that had stayed up late at night, waiting for her sister to come home.
That part had only grown once she learned of the true reason Kuroka had left her.
Koneko couldn't forgive Kuroka, but she could also not resist trying to get her sister back one last time.
It would be up to Kuroka to prove she wouldn't hurt Koneko again.
Kuroka's naked hope, her sheer relief, and the older cat girl's wide smile filled Koneko with uncomfortable warmth.
She still hadn't forgiven her sister, just offered her a fresh start.
"I promise, Shirone. I will do whatever it takes for you to be able to call me Onee-sama again."
"Then teach me Senjutsu."
"Of course, nyaa," Kuroka agreed readily, smiling and without hesitation. "Once you return from your rating game, Onee-sama will teach you everything she can. Like Onee-sama said, it's not hard to control yourself if you know what you are doing. Now that Onee-sama is here to help, Shirone has nothing to fear!"
Koneko didn't know how she felt about the quick agreement.
Even with the assurances that Senjutsu wasn't a source of madness and that she would turn into a monster from learning it, it had still taken Koneko days to gather the courage to request to learn it.
It had been the source of her fear for most of her life, and only her desire to not be left behind, both literally and figuratively in the power sense, by her friends had pushed her to make this step forward.
To have Kuroka, who was so insistent on keeping her safe, agree so quickly... Even though Koneko had been the one to ask, it made her feel very foolish.
Then again, fear was never logical.
"And your trick to gaining more tails."
That stopped Kuroka in her tracks, and she gave her sister an awkward smile.
"Maybe when Shirone is older."
"Why?" Koneko frowned. "Is it a secret technique? Did you do something horrible? Or does it consume your lifespan like the pervert's Juggernaut Drive?"
Besides Senjutsu, that was the greatest way to increase Koneko's strength. Yokai gained tails as they aged, and each tail was accompanied by a burst in power. Sometimes, it was the reverse, and they gained the tails because they were powerful enough to develop them, but even that took years.
As a nekoshou, she had a leg up over other Yokai, but Kuroka's trick, whatever it was, was Koneko's best chance to catch up with her friends.
"No, no," Kuroka waived off hurriedly, looking more embarrassed than Koneko had ever seen her, which further stoked Koneko's curiosity. "It's nothing bad. It's just... a form of Bouchujutsu is all. One that only works with Eren, specifically."
Oh.
OH!
Koneko felt her face flush a deep crimson.
Her... with... Eren?
"Onee-sama isn't saying you can't," Kuroka hurried to say. "Just not yet. Shirone is a bit too young and... small. Eren... Well, Titan is one way to call him."
As if that was the point Koneko was stumbling on!?
"Once you're older and a bit bigger, Onee-sama will help convince Brother-in-law... and the dog too, I guess. So just be patient, and Shirone will have seven tails in no time, maybe more. There's never been a nekomata with more than seven, so Onee-sama will test it first. Onee-sama is aiming for nine to rub it in the Kitsune's face. If it works, Shirone can too."
Nine tails? Nine... times with... Eren?
Koneko, it seemed, had forgotten the downside of having an older sibling.
The embarrassment they could bring.
Kuroka was even worse at this, given her lack of shame or sense of conventional morals.
Satans, Koneko was sure her older sister hadn't worn underwear in years.
It was all too much for Koneko, and she decided that she had been up late enough and that it was time to go back to bed.
Without so much as a goodnight, a red-faced Koneko stood from the bench and left.
With an amused yet longing smile, Kuroka watched her leave.
Kuroka ran her hand lovingly over the two wings carved into the cane's handle as she thought about the two encounters of the night.
Maybe both Shirone and the dog were right. Perhaps she was basing her happiness too much on Eren and Shirone.
But Kuroka didn't think she was wrong either.
In Kuroka's heart, there was a dream.
The dream that had barely changed since she was a child, and her mother had died, leaving two young girls alone in a cruel world.
In the dream, the two sisters lived happily together.
Safe.
No fear of starvation or violence, they had a home all to themselves and a few kittens of their own. In the Underworld, maybe in the human world, it didn't matter.
What mattered was that their family was together and safe.
The only change to that dream had been the addition of the man with them.
No, Kuroka didn't think that dream was wrong.
If wanting a home and family was wrong, Kuroka didn't want to be right.
But... Shirone was right about one thing.
Eren wouldn't be happy if he had to kill his friend.
Eren had said he was smiling in the end, so Kuroka had always believed he had been able to find some solace or closure and that things weren't as terrible as he believed them to be.
But now, hearing the dog's words about his power and having overheard his talk with the Gremory, Kuroka had another idea.
What if Eren was smiling despite the terrible things he had to do... because he was going to die?
Kuroka had learned just how little she knew of Eren over these last few months, and this last week in particular, and she was beset by the greatest sense of uncertainty she had felt in a decade.
She still had complete confidence in Eren's victory, but her role in it...
Eren had always stressed that he didn't control their futures, that they still made their own choices, and he had just already lived the results.
So... what would Kuroka choose?
Kuroka, for the first time, didn't know.
All she knew was that she missed her lover.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click tap.
So Kuroka sat, fiddling with Eren's... with her cane as she drank deep into the night.
The night was long enough to pass from dreams of the future to memories of the past.
Of two little girls trying to survive in a world built by and for the powerful.
Of a boy and a girl plotting to overturn that world.
Of moments of passion and emotion here on the bench.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
ReadingDangerously
ReadingDangerously I was halfway finished writing the next chapter when I realized something. Kuroka hasn't had time to be a character outside her relationship with Eren. While that relationship is a big part of this story, I wanted to flesh out how she and Mikasa interact a bit more and her relationship with her sister, which is also a big part of her character.
It also allowed me to lighten the mood a bit. Part 4 is the story's most serious and AOT-like part, but I don't want the DxD parts to be lost in the drudgery. So, hopefully, you all can forgive a bit of a delay in the story progression for a bit of character progression.
I'll meet you all on Sunday at our usual place on the bench.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone