Train and lost forgotten memories
Few days later I stil felt quite lost. I am sure my friends thought that it was due to break up with Severus. While I had a hard time to process long forgotten memories.
Last time around it was correct assuming.
This time I had to find a piece with what I now remember.
After death of my Dad at the end of the summer from heart attack that was followed by death of my Mom right before winter break in my sixth year I was lost.
I did not have support of my sister and no place to go. She sold house right after I got back to school and in quite harsh letter let me know that I am not going to be welcome at her place.
Horacio Slughorn showed interest in my future then and I welcomed private talks and his guidance.
It was not pleasant talks most of the time. He completely torn apart my naïve perception for my future. I was muggleborn with no connection and gold to back up my apprenticeship even with his influence and support. Poverty and hard work for few sickles per hour was my expected income and life hood. Top it with current political situation and my best bet would be go back to muggle word where I have no education and similar bias only based on male domination.
When he saw that I got understanding of my predicament, he proposed a way out. Marriage contract.
It took me time to comes with terms to that.
It was quite soft hand approach. I was broken after curse, death of my parents and non existent support from sister. So my agreement after all his logical explanations was quite expected.
He put me in contact with James parents and helped to draw contact. It was quite forgivable. Date for sixth month. No penalty if we broke up during that period. After that I had to marry him in one year period and have a heir in another three. As a payment I receive my personal vault with 20k galleon and family support for my personal development. I have freedom to choose my apprenticeship and Potter name to support my advances.
Potter name and connections would open up doors to the future.
One of the condition from their side was that I never disclosure this agreement to James. I asked to be obliviated after 6th month if contract get activated.
As a result I forgot all about talks with Horacio about marriage contact, agreement and that I sold myself out. I wanted to feel better about myself, even if it was a lie.
And to get around my sexual preferences I agreed to be dosed with lust potion variation that made me quite okay with kissing and have sex with James.
—
Worried look from Marlene reminded me that we had some chemistry going on during my sixth year but we never had a nerve to go beyond hands holding, kissing in cheeks and pretending being just friends. Wizarding World was quite judgmental towards open homosexuality. Do what you want behind closed doors. As long as couple produce required children for family line continuity - nobody cares.
Memories of sad Marlene surfaced along with memories of me dating James. I think she hoped that somehow we get together.
I never get around to explain my decision to her out of shame. It felt like I betrayed her, my parents and myself. And rightly so. From muggle perspective I sold myself out for the gold. From wizarding world perspective, It was expected from young woman and being norm to it.
Marlene did not date anyone during her Hogwarts years. In hindsight it's quite obvious why she rejected all Sirius advances. During war years after graduation it was obvious now that she had relationship with Dorcas, but they hide it well.
Marlene died in July 81 and not a month later Dorcas followed her. I was devastated back then.
"Do you want talk about it?"
We were sitting alone. Alice went to sit with Frank and Mary decided to follow them.
She looks so young. Her silver, almost white hair was put into single braid. Bright, almost vibrant blue eyes in almond shape we're watching me with caution. Her full but almost colourless lips pressed together nervously. She had sharp chin and chicks, making her look like something from elves muggle stories.
"It's alright. Do you think your parents can let you visit muggle London with me? Did you ever been to muggle London?"
Sparks of excitement and curiosity in her eyes was quite adorable. I don't know if I can get second time in the same water with her and I am worried about our mental age difference, but why not to give a try? All my life before and life of my son that I watched behind his eyes were not a happy one. I need some happiness badly.
"That would be awesome Lily! I just … is it going to be safe?"
"Yeah, well. I can talk to your parents about it when we arrive?"
Just then James forcefully open our apartment door with loud laughter and
"Alright Evans?"
"Potter, what brain dead idea do you have now?" I asked with tiered sign.
"Just checking on you. You know after all that at the lake and everything"
"I am alright then. You can go now"
"Oh, come on Lily! What about meet up this summer? Let's make you forget about that slimy snivilus. You can even come and visit me. It will be fun!"
I saw his group of friends staying behind, probably for moral support and laugh about his failed attempt again.
Then idea sparked. Maybe I can hit few targets with one stone.
"Get inside and close door"
I saw that Marlene get a bit disappointed by development and I gave her reassurance smile.
When Potter closed a door, I cast silencing spell on it and locking charm on top.
"Sit and listen"
He followed my command and wiped his hands nervously.
"Potter. James. I don't think you are stupid, no matter how you pretend. What I am going to tell you is quite important and I need your promise that it will stay private. No fooling around about it. Can you do that?"
"Y-yes of course. Marauderous promise!"
"No, do it on Potter name."
That got him. He became quite obviously serious now.
"Okay. You have my word. What happen?"
"I am lesbian. Do you understand what does it mean from wizard world perspective, right?"
His face got all twisted and sad.
"Yeah. Yeah I got it. I never had a chance? What about snivellus? I thought you were actually dating? So he like what was helping you keep it quite? Oh fuck .. I feel like a morron now"
"No, he did not know. We were just friends. But I still cross with you and your friends about all of that. Anyway. I know that as a Potter heir you have responsibilities to your family and it will be better for both of us if you move on. Alright James?"
"Yeah, yeah I got it. I will keep it quiet and you know, if you need to cover it up let me know, alright?"
"Thanks James."
He sit for few moments trying visibly collect himself and mask his emotions. Then he stood up and flicked his wand to unlock a door and half turning around said:
"Have a good summer girls! I know I am going to have one. See you."
"Oh come on guys! Let's go prank some snakes before summer!" I heard before he closed door as he stepped out.
Just as soon door was closed, Marlene hit door with another locking charm, silencing and something else.
With urgency she turned to me with big eyes and with forced whisper exclaimed:
"What just happen! How long did you know it?"
Her serious and cute face was so adorable that I started to giggle uncontrollably.
"Stop it! It's not laughable matter! Obviously you should know it! You can get in serious trouble!"
"It's okay Marlene. Sloghorn explained it to me. Also he covered many other things, include marriage contracts and my options for future."
I did not know that she can make her eyes even more bigger.
"Oh. Oh! Oh! So that's why you told Potter? Are you plaining to …. ?"
"Sweet Morgana! No! Don't be draft! I rather move to muggle world than do that to myself."
"You muggleborns don't quite get it right? Oh it came wrong way, sorry!" She exclaimed and covered her mouth with right hand.
"I know what you are talking about. Horace made sure I understand. And I do, but you know. No matter what, I will be muggleborn in nutshell."
"So what are you plaining to do then?"
"Well, long term? I still don't know. Short term? Get you to muggle shopping and spend some quality time together?" I answered with wide all toothy smile.
She deeply blushed and covered her mouth with both hands now.
"Lily! You.. you.. don't joke like that!"
"Who told you that I am joking?" I asked with teasing voice.
"Are you serious?"
"No, I am Lily." I answered cheeky.
"Joke aside. Yeah I like you. Don't worry, I am not going to push you to do something you don't wanna. Just a bit of run away from all this in muggle world."
"I like that" said Marlene deeply blushing and hiding her eyes looking down.
—
Hours later Marlene calmed down a bit but was still exited about possibility to spend some time together in muggle London. We talked about clothes styles and differences in culture and I did my best to educate her about small things. We even get to hold hands over the table. It was quite nice and calming. I needed this distraction badly to avoid to think about all that happen to me in last few decades or so.
When we finally arrived back to London, she got nervous again.
"Don't worry. I will talk to them and we can write to each other. In worth case - we see each other in Diagon Alley. Alright?"
She visibly collected herself and gave me firm squeeze on my hand.
"Alright. Let's go"
When we got out on platform, we found that only her brother Angus was waiting for her.
"Marlene over here!" He called us.
"Angus! Why are you here? Where is Father and Mother?" She asked in rush voice hugging him briefly.
"It's alright. They got delayed. We can meet them in Diagon Alley later while you can tell me all about your year"
Angus was wearing his author robes in bright burgundy colour. He survived as long as Marlene did and died the same day.
"Oh, sorry! Angus this is my friend Lily Evans. Lily this is my oldest brother Angus. He is auror trainee!"
"Nice to meet you Miss Evans and it's full auror now Marlene! I just got my qualification exam results"
She squealed loudly and hugged him again.
"Nice to meet you Mister McKinnon. My congratulation on your achievement"
"Thank you! And as a friend of Marlene, call me Angus miss Evans"
"It's Lily then" and we smiled to each other.
Marlene pouted and said
"Alright you two. I am going to have all this respectable talks all summer when Father will drag me around on social events"
"Talking about summer. I hoped to ask Lord McKinnon to allow Marlene to visit muggle London with me this summer. Angus can you do it for me, please?"
"Hm, you are muggleborn, right? So what are you plaining to do in muggle London?"
" I have some general plan to make Marlene comfortable in muggle world. I am sure you can understand importance to blend in if it needed. Shopping, going for lunch or dinner, transportation and general understanding how to be invisible between muggles. First hand experience with muggleborn friend."
He visibly gave my idea some thoughts and I did not see any signs of disagreement.
"I will talk to Father then. I hold no promises but if I would have such a guide tour before my auror training, it would be quite a boon"
Marlene hugged her brother again with huge smile and excitement.
"Oh I see, some one quite eager"
After that we exchanged few more pleasantries and Marlene hugged me before they went to apparition point.
Not long after I found myself on few hours long drive home with my father.
—
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