Chapter 11: Do Over
Chase took my hand and led me inside. We passed by an attendant at the lobby front desk and continued straight into the elevators. It was nice to feel my petite hand in his, our fingers linked tightly like we born to fit. I stroked him with my extended, black fingernails.
We got to floor thirty and when the doors slid apart, the elevator opening into his living room. So much of it matched the hotel from our first night. There were comfortable chairs directly in front of me with a glass coffee table.
Just beyond that was a raised level with a set of stairs. Directly in the middle, there was a king-sized bed and to the left was a telescope and a built-in rounded couch to stargaze. To the right was an in-house bar, a high-end gas range stove, and a mammoth stainless-steel refrigerator. To the left were a couple of other rooms with closed doors.
The apartment was decadent with a chandelier hanging straight overhead. Its golden halos of light floated down upon us. He led me to the middle of the room as I continued my inspection.
"Would you like to dance?" he asked. I giggled shyly. "We're just here to have some fun. And I think we're safe. All the liquor is locked up. EXCEPT," he began. I listened intently, my interlocked hands underneath my chin. "I do have some Dom."
"Oh no! No more black-out nights with you," I said, pointing at him.
"I'm joking!" he chuckled. After taking my hand he led me to the middle of the room. With a flick of a remote control from the wall, a love ballad began to play for us. He held my hand and wrapped his other around my back.
We began to dance, initially in a technical way but soon we were pressing ourselves together. He stroked my head as I rested against his strong torso.
"You've always wanted to be with me, haven't you?" he asked.
"Define always," I asked. I didn't mean to be difficult. My question was genuine. He twirled me around gracefully.
"Well maybe not always. I'm asking about the first time in the hotel," he said. I realized he was waiting for my answer, but I didn't say anything. "Sorry. These are silly egotistical questions, but you're just so accomplished now. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm intimidated by you. I asked because it helps to think about a time when you swooned for me."
Promptly, I peered up at him. Chase was never like this. Could this really be about who I had become? It would make sense, if so.
"These aren't silly questions," I said. "I'll be honest. I wanted you then." We continued our unchoreographed waltz.
"Can I ask another question?"
"Sure," I said.
"Did your feelings of attraction start in my hotel room or before?"
"It was when you passed by me in the auditorium. I could feel--"
"Electricity," he said finishing my sentence. His voice was breathy.
"Yes," I answered in surprise.
"I wanted you that very moment. Will I ever get to see that young woman again? She had a purity that I adored."
"People change, Chase. I can't un-experience things. Sorry to disappoint you," I said feeling frustrated. He took my chin, holding it in his masculine hand.
"I wasn't saying anything against who you are now. It was just easier to impress that younger, naïve girl. To have you now would be a dream come true but I'm not sure if I'm good enough."
"Do you really mean that?"
"Of course, I do."
I was gazing up at him, staring into his deep brown irises. His midnight-black hair was falling forward as he kept his eyes on me. Slowly, he bent down and kissed me gently. This time I didn't hold back.
We parted and he said, "I'd love a do over of our first night."
"I've wanted that for so long," I began. I glanced over Chase's shoulder noticing one of his red ties hanging on the edge of the black couch. I felt a shift in my feeling from amorous to apprehensive. It was true that I had wanted it for but I had learned better. I couldn't let Chase rope me into this. "But I think it would be best if we didn't go any further."
"That's fine. We don't need to do anything more. I'm just happy to be close to you again, Janessa."
"Really?"
"Yes. We can just relax on this couch and enjoy one another. I didn't even expect you to show up at Charlie's and I certainly didn't expect you to come back with me here." I could see that he was being sincere.
He got up and sat on the velvet couch. He beckoned to me and I sat beside him. I felt his strong arm around my shoulder and I leaned into his chest.
"I've missed being close to you like this. Sometimes it's nice to cuddle. Don't you agree?"
"I like to be close to you, yes."
I snuggled into him, closing my eyes, and resting my cheek against his chest. I savored this feeling. Despite our consistent, satisfying physicality over our five-year marriage, Chase wasn't one for being affectionate. Just saying the word usually made him cringe but we were holding one another purely for the sake of.
I felt him unclip my ponytail extension and hang it over the back of the couch. He freed my natural locks from the tight bun allowing them to fall over my shoulders. For a moment I was embarrassed that he knew it wasn't my real hair. It was part of my "battle armor" ensemble but maybe I wouldn't need to put up artificial barriers between us anymore.
"I like you without bangs. You look older ... more professional."
"Thanks," I said.
"Janessa," he began. I glanced up at him.
"Yes?"
"I've never stopped loving you," he whispered. He caressed my cheek. As I gazed into his eyes, I thought that I could see myself in them. Briefly, it reminded me of when I was looking into Luca's. Immediately, I pushed that thought out of my mind, but where was Luca?
"I think I've felt similarly."
"Are you saying you never stopped loving me or is it that you aren't sure of your feelings?"
I contemplated my answer. I knew it depended on whether I understood what he was asking me. Despite all the trials he had put me through, this Chase--the one I was with right now--was very close to the first version I met. And if we were referring to those two combined into one, then I couldn't deny how I felt.
"I still care about the man I married."
"Then I have something else to ask you."
"What is it?"
"Do you think you could forgive that man?" he asked. I could see how serious he was, and I held his face.
"Of course," I said and in that very moment, I meant it. I hadn't considered it before, but I felt that I could and let go of the anger. I gently kissed his lips. When I sat back to look at him, he smiled with misty eyes.
"Thank you, Janessa. I needed to hear that if we ever want to permanently get back together."
"Are you saying what I think you are? Are you asking me to come back to you for good?"
"Yes, I am. I want to be with you again. We'd be better than ever. Two executives taking the world by storm."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
AL_Grey
AL_Grey With my update, I removed some of the more romantic scenes.
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