Chapter 3: Jesse
The depressing thought that Eliza left on soured the mood for the rest of the group, and within a few more minutes of discussion, they were disbanding, quickly heading back offline to do whatever they did when they didn't play Equestria Online. Jesse left, too, but didn't go offline. Instead, he opted to do things in his own shard for now while he waited for Sheila to get online. He figured it would be sometime within the next little while.
His shard had barely any ponies in it, NPCs or otherwise. Instead, it had a little cottage and vast terrain that branched off from it. Snowy mountains in one direction, a beach in another, a field with a winding river the third, and a forest in the last. There were train tracks that connected directly to Composition's shard, since that's where most of the rest of his friend group hung out. Realistic, it was not, but he didn't really care for hyper realism like most of his other friends might have. He cared about new experiences and adventure.
Not right then, however. Eliza's mood had rubbed off on him, although it wasn't making him feel depressed like she was. Instead, he was worried, as well as anxious. The way Eliza always talked about it, and how Sheila was now gone despite telling him that day that she wouldn't be leaving made him wiggle his foot anxiously, something his pony copied in the game. Not that he was afraid of dying and having a copy of himself uploaded– not very much anyway. In fact, talking to Agile Trace and hearing about Composition made him want to upload as quickly as he could. Right then, in fact, in spite of what he told the group. What made him anxious was what would happen after he did upload. The way Sheila described Celestia was terrifying.
Don't think about that, he told himself, closing his eyes and taking a breath. Push it out of your mind for now. You'll talk to her when you talk to her. Hopefully it would be alone, but that was unlikely. Eliza seemed to have a habit of showing up just when it seemed like they would get to spend some time together.
Jesse spent the next hour and a half as Solar Spark, focusing his efforts on hiking through the forest. It was nice and tranquil, and helped to clear his head as he took in the scenery around him and dodged a few obstacles in his way. Other than wearing a headset, it almost felt like he was really there.
He listened to the chirping of birds and the rustle of the leaves, taking a moment to just close his eyes and stand in the midst of it. If he had to pick one place to live forever, he'd pick this forest. He could build a cabin out here and go hiking every day, and then watch stars along the beach every night. Sure, Sheila's shard had a beach, but it wasn't anywhere near mountains that he could go camping on or sled down. Living in a shard like his would be absolutely perfect.
He considered how nice it would be to do something like this in real life, something he didn't get enough of– but then banished those thoughts when he realized what they would lead to. He might have had the desire to upload right away now more than ever because of Composition, but he would delay what Eliza thought was inevitable if he could. His parents would not be happy. He hoped the rest of them would avoid the temptation until he could convince them, especially Eliza.
He put the thoughts of his friend away until the inevitable message from Sheila came through. It felt like ages before it finally came, and when it did, he wasted no time in hurrying to her shard to meet her. He'd done this before with other friends– well, more like other acquaintances– where they invited him and others to join them right after they uploaded, but he could say he was more anxious about meeting with Sheila right now than he'd been about any other person who uploaded thus far.
The mare– a dark gray earth pony with equally gray eyes and a black and white mane– stood right in the center of the town in her shard, waving and smiling at him as he trotted up to her. His avatar wrapped her up in a tight hug, one that she returned before pulling back and smiling as she started to speak.
"I'm so sorry I took so long to get back to everypony, Sparky," she apologized. "I thought I'd upload and then immediately just start explaining to everypony what happened and how I was just… convinced into this, but I didn't really know what to say. It took so long to think it all through. I didn't mean to just leave you ponies waiting almost a week for an explanation."
"A week?" he asked, his avatar raising an eyebrow. "It's only been a few hours. I just got done talking to you today in the hospital at around noon, and it's five o'clock now."
"Really? That's weird. But Celestia was saying something about how she would let me have time to 'discover' the wonders Equestria has to offer or some such thing. I basically sat in my house for the last week trying to think about exactly what to say."
"You don't have to, like, come up with some big explanation," he told her, his pony rubbing a hoof behind its head. "I mean, we all wanna know, obviously, but if you don't wanna say anything, it's cool. I think we pretty much all get it." As though I wasn't just asking Eliza why the heck you jumped in after you said you wouldn't.
"That's part of it! I don't get why I emigrated! I mean, I know why; it's because Celestia is a master manipulator. But I don't know how the heck she was able to get inside my head then. Honestly, I hate it that she was able to." The mare glared at her hooves, Jesse unsure if she was angry more at Celestia or herself, before she sighed and shook her head clear.
"But I won't get into that until everypony else is here," Renown Composition finished. "How have you guys been taking care of things so far? Wait, you just said it's only been a few hours. Uhh… wanna hear about how cool and amazing it is in here and how you should definitely upload right now? I'm sure you haven't heard that a hundred times before, right?"
"Only ninety nine times up to this point," he said with a small smile. "Why don't you be my hundredth? I'm pretty sure I have to upload once I hear it, right?" They both laughed, and then Jesse continued, "Seriously though, I don't think anyone is gonna be mad at you. I mean, it was probably gonna happen anyway, right? You said you didn't want to upload, but you didn't seem like you really believed you'd find a liver."
"Yeah, it was probably gonna happen anyway," she agreed. "If I said no, I'm pretty sure she'd find some way to hack the medical machines and force me to upload anyway. Or something like that. Still, I shouldn't have rushed into it like you said. Now who's gonna be your driver when everyone goes to Outback Steakhouse without me?"
They both laughed again, and then Jesse continued, "Is it really as cool as everyone says?" he asked. "Are you completely satisfied forever now the way us mortals can never be?"
"Well, since I don't wanna be here, and wasn't planning on doing all of this, I can't say this is particularly satisfying. I don't have any idea what the heck I'm supposed to be doing, other than laying around all day. Not much to do when all your friends are in the real world. Doesn't help if hours in the real world feel like days in here."
"Yeah, that doesn't sound that great," Jesse agreed. He waited for Composition to continue, and when she didn't, he said, "I can spend more time online to hang out with you if you want. It's not like I have a job or anything to really do all day otherwise. As long as Mom and Dad don't hound me about playing all day. I bet some of our other friends would, too. Take vacation time or something?"
"Thanks," the mare smiled, "but you don't need to do that. If all of this is supposed to be the most satisfying thing in the universe, I'll find something, especially if time moves as slow as you say it does."
"I know. I'm just trying to say I care about you," he finished, looking down at his hooves shyly as the mare continued to smile at him. "I don't wanna see you feel bad because of a decision you were manipulated into."
"I know, Sparky," she replied. "Thank you. And I care about you, too."
He got the confidence to look back up at her and smile. He stared at her for a long moment, pushing his purple eyes into her gray ones as he let the moment go on. He didn't have the confidence to say what he wanted to in the hospital, but now was as good a time as any.
"Besides," he started again, "since you don't have a job anymore and you're not in the hospital, that'd be a pretty good chance to take you–"
"Wooooooooow, I see how it is," the familiar voice of Agile Trace called from behind the two of them, cutting Jesse off. "You're just gonna go and upload yourself and just leave me hanging at the hospital? I brought cake and everything, for your information."
"Agile!" Renow Composition announced happily, hugging the pony like she did Jesse. It was only a second or two like his hug, but it was an opportunity Jesse used to sigh and roll his eyes. How did Eliza always manage to do that?
"I didn't mean to leave you hanging," she said. "I wanted to eat cake, but Celestia– well, like I told Sparky, I'm gonna let everypony know all at once, so if you wanna get everypony in here, that'd be cool."
"I already messaged all of them, so they should be coming soon," the mare explained. "But hey! I spent like thirty five bucks on that cake, and you didn't eat any! You own me a new cake once Celestia kidnaps me and takes me to the Experience Center. I don't even like cheesecake very much, but I might eat it out of pure spite. All in one sitting, too."
"Don't do that! You're gonna give yourself a diabetic attack or something, and then you really will end up in Equestria."
"And it'll be worth it once I get my cake from you since you thought you were too good for me, clearly."
"You know what? You're right. I decided I hate you and emigrated just to ditch you. And also decided that cheesecake is terrible."
"I can't believe this." The pegasus shook her head and closed her eyes. "Next you're gonna say chess is terrible, too."
"Oh it is, and I honestly can't think of anything I'd rather do less. I don't know how you and Soft Step can stand it."
They both laughed at the obvious joking that the two were doing, Jesse watching the mares talk silently. He wasn't really able to partake because, for the most part, his and Eliza's interests didn't line up with what she liked to talk about. Or with her personality at all, really. The best he could say about he and Eliza's relationship was that they were 'friends of a friend'. He might have been part of the friend group Composition hung out with, but Eliza was by far the most distant from him. He couldn't help but feel a little jealous of her.
"I wanna hear all about what the heck happened," Agile Trace told her, more seriously now. "Like I was telling Sparky a little while ago, if she got you, then the rest of us don't stand a chance."
"Well don't think like that," Renown Composition replied as more of their friends started to show up. "That's just gonna make me feel bad."
"When we all turn into ponies and live for hundreds of years in a computer, you should feel bad," Agile joked. "It'll be all your fault when Celestia does what she wants and satisfies us all."
How does she like Eliza at all? Jesse wondered silently as he listened to more ponies join in on the two's conversation. She and Composition seemed like they were nothing alike, at least to Jesse. And yet, somehow, within the last few years, the girl he wasn't fond of swooped in and became one of Composition's closest friends. It felt a little insane to think about.
A second later, he realized how he was thinking. He felt blood rush to his cheeks as he banished those thoughts from his head. Negativity wasn't a good thing to have. Nor was jealousy at how close the two were.
It was only a few more seconds before Bright Sky and Spell Master were there, both offering hugs and asking questions until Soft Step finally showed up last of all. Then Renown Composition took a breath and started to explain what happened.
It was just about what Jesse expected to hear. The long and the short of it was that Celestia explained to her the probabilities of her survival waiting for a transplant and after she got one. Composition wasn't happy as she explained. In fact, she looked angry, opposite of her smiling a few seconds ago. The mare seemed like she was suggesting she was coerced into doing this. It didn't make the rest of the group very happy to hear.
"Knowing Celestia, I wouldn't be surprised if she just didn't let me have a liver somehow if I said no," she explained. "So that's part of why I did this, even though I didn't want to. I'm pretty sure if I didn't say yes, she was just gonna force me to agree." Her hoof rubbed the ground as she continued, "I'm pretty sure she just, like, wants me to try and get the rest of you to upload, too, since I know the most about her. She probably thinks if I'm here then you're all gonna follow in line behind me."
That seems like where Eliza's head is at, he thought silently with a glance to the pony. Composition said exactly what Jesse thought she would say, and Agile looked like she was letting out a depressed breath. It wasn't a good sign.
Not like I wasn't just thinking about that, too, though. Just Composition being here, she could probably get the rest of us to upload in a few months. Me at least. Except my parents… His parents and the things he heard about Celestia from the gray earth pony reminded him that he needed to push those thoughts away and keep himself from being impulsive.
Composition continued, "But I don't think I'm ever gonna campaign for that, unless you're about to die, or things get really bad out there. But it… sucks that all this happening to me means I'm probably putting pressure on you guys to get in here, too. Don't let me do that."
"I gotta admit, being owed cake is tempting," Agile Trace joked lightly.
"I'll bribe you with an Outback Steakhouse gift card Sparky gave to me that you have to use before that place goes out of business," Composition countered. "How about that?"
"Well that sells me, if I can get in on that action," Spell Master laughed. "Even if we don't have a driver now for us to go to the bar there.."
"But we can show you us drinking, just like we would've in real life," Soft Step finished. "Turns out, uploading didn't change the plan much, did it?" They all laughed at that. The mood was lightened again, and their friend took a breath to continue on.
"You all be safe, okay? I might not be around for a little while. I… think I need to take some time to think things out for myself. I don't know what that means, but I don't really know where my head is at in all of this yet. Give me a few days… errr, I guess if time is slowed down here, it won't take any time at all. But I might be kind of distant for a little while."
They all gave assurances that they would be safe, as well as words of understanding, and then talked for a while more about other things before leaving one by one. Agile Trace seemed prepared to stay the longest out of them, but Jesse was determined to wait her out to find a moment to talk to Composition alone. Thankfully, it was only a couple of hours or so when he got the chance.
"I know this is super sudden," he started, a bit shyly, "and that you just got uploaded and stuff, but before anything else happens… um, do you think we could go on a date sometime? Unless that's weird to ask so soon."
The mare smiled, thankfully. It helped to relax his tense posture. "Nah, that's not weird," she said. Then she put her expression down, sighed, and continued, "I'd like to, but unless it's something casual, I'm not really at a place where I want to do anything serious right now. I need to figure out where my head is at after all of this. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, of course, I understand." He tried not to look so let down and disappointed, but his pony lowered its ears on instinct and rubbed its hoof shyly against its back leg. He quickly made a smile though, finishing, "Casual would be nice anyway. We could invite Spell Master and Bright Sky, too. Make it a double date. Or a group thing, if you wanted."
"Yeah, a group activity sounds good. And I could get Agile the cake she now demands from me, and Soft Step could tell us all about boring chess theory and how she's gonna be a grandmaster one day. Over bowling, if we can. I wonder if there's a bowling alley here. Agile would probably suggest something like going to a music store if not that."
"That would be fun," he said, desperately trying to hide his immense disappointment. "Whenever you want to do that is cool with me. If you're up for it."
"I'm up for it. Just give me some time to think some things out, okay? I might need a few days, although that might seem like just a few hours to you. I'll talk to you later though."
"See ya, Composition," he waved before clicking off his PonyPad. He let out an involuntary shiver before quickly climbing into bed. What a strange, sad, disappointing day it was. A day that felt like it lasted a year. He was just talking to Sheila in person that morning, wasn't he? It already felt like a lifetime ago.
But she was safe. It seemed Celestia hadn't killed her. That meant a lot of things were answered, not that he was particularly skeptical. But he couldn't use that as reason to jump in after her, especially not after telling everyone they needed to stick together and avoid it. That wouldn't be cool. Besides, he actually did wanna hang out in real life for a while, although Composition's newfound absence from it made it a lot less desirable to. But not enough to make him go after her just yet.
He hoped Eliza wanted the same, because if she jumped in after her, that would make things significantly more complicated for him.
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