Chapter 197: Shinigami v. The Author, And A Special Guest!
I sat down on the chair for the newly acquired game table that sat before us, on the table there was a card dispenser that would hand us the cards in a standard 52 deck of cards though these were all the large sized card variant.
Though on the left side of our seats is where and arm restrainer was located, the restrainer was made of metal with several high voltage electrodes surrounding them with a device numbered 1 through 10.
Every time someone loses the round to the other, either by going bust or having the lower number of the two players that player is electrocuted as a result with 1 being 10 watts while 10 is 100 watts which is when one reaches the leathal range for the amount of electricity that can course through a human.
Now I know what your thinking dear reader, 'But isn't this game pointless since Hifumi has all those skills and powers?' And sure with everything he has this isn't remotely scary or even lethal to him under normal circumstances, but I have this thing call Authors Bullshit that I shall use to make- *GRAB*
(N) Shinigami…. Are you trying to piss me off by messing with my story?…
Itai! Itai! Yamete kurosai! *CLENCH*
(N) Talking cutsey in Japanese isn't going to get you out of this you know that?!
Then how is this going to be thrilling of a match if their is no stakes involved when one can get hurt in this kind of game huh?! *Squeeze!* Ah! It's gonna Break! Your going to break me!
(N) Because that would just piss off the readers if I made him get hurt by something as simple as electric shock when only real things that have been dangerous to him now are actually powerful things! If it was a concentrated spear of lightning that would hurt him then sure! But not some plain old electricity!
Then make the game more dangerous! I I'll give whatshername a protection through the system or something so the electricity is only lethal if it hits ten and 9 will knock her out!
(N) I don't like subjecting the people who's story's I'm writing because of me putting them in their current situations and arbitrarily messing with how things go just because it would be amusing and or funny.
But you can't make him Mr perfect John Sue all the time! He needs to lose and feel pain for character development! Like this match for example!
(N) No he doesn't, if he got injured do to a life or death battle or protecting someone and taking on heavy wounds as a result then that's one thing, but getting him hurt for stupid things is another thing all together, that would only make sense if he was drunk or on drugs, not when he's sober and clear headed right now.
But where's the comedy then huh?! The main character getting hurt for stupid reasons is in every comedy manga and story out there.
(N) When have I said this is a Comedy story? That's not in the Tags I have for this story.
But you do have slice of life, and in slice of life stuff there's usually some comedy in those stories at least.
(N) Name one good one where it's funny but action packed.
Gintama
(N)…. Okay name another one then.
Beelzebub
(N)…..
Do you want me to add Panty and Stocking into it as well?
(N)….. Haaaa…. Alright what do you want to get you to stop messing with my story, so much so that I have already a mini-chapter so far from our argument alone.
I want more screen time! Or whatever you guys call it when it's in writing! *Sniff Sniff* … even the readers keep forgetting I exist since I don't talk that much….
(N) Haaaa….. Will it make you feel better if I give you more lines and interactions in the story?
No! I want to be the editor!
(N) Not happening, the editor can't be going around editing the story without my permission like a certain ghost has been doing to sound funny!
I want Danganronpa! The readers want Danganronpa! I want-
MONOKUMA!!!!
Monkuma?!?!
(N) How the hell did you get here?!
Because my dear sweet Author it's all thanks to the Power of God and Anime! Also the many games I do star in, after all I'm practically the star of everyone of them, you can't have Danganronpa without MONOKUMA!!!
Besides I'm with Shinigami here she needs more screen time and I need to finally make my beautiful appearance soon enough! I mean you call this a Danganronpa story without me?!?! The true main character of it all?!?! Because that makes me beary beary angry!!!
Ha! Bear puns! I love it!
(N) The second Hifumi sees you, he'd sooner kick you straight into outer space than have to deal with you right?
What?! How could he?! I'm just a lovable soft and cuddly teddy bear is all! Who could hate me?
(N) Anyone besides you and KuroKuma he would at least give them a chance but theirs no redeemable qualities in you and KuroKuma is a dumbass who doesn't know how to shut up.
I never liked him in Ultra Despair Girls, and I really didn't like all those messed up versions of yourself either.
Well they were all inferior copies of the original after all so I'm not too surprised that they worked suboptimally compared to me.
(N) Well since this is a mixed bag world of stories, you actually being created by Junko is kind of nil since her plans are so different from the original.
What?! Are you saying she doesn't need me! That she's not interested in even making me?! Preposterous! I'm the poster boy, no the Mascot of all things Despair! Without me her plan is just plain spaghetti, with no butter and sauce! You know how bland that is?! It's Desbearingly Boring!
Well adding you is probably more like adding extra salt onto fish and chips, I mean it's okay I guess? But was it really necessary?
)( )( )( That's it! Are you happy now?! You made an animatronic bear somehow pop veins on my forehead! Do you know how hard it is to do that?!?! You know what?! I think I'm going to make a special delivery to him, and I'll be the package!!!
(N) And how are you going to do that when I'm the author? I run this show- wait where'd you get that box, hey don't ignore me!
Because I know how to mess with your story too, I'm not just a mascot but a hyper intelligent AI, especially the me here, and that means I can easily hijack your systems while I'm here!
Suddenly a blue sphere of light began to encase Monokuma.
(N) Oi! Don't just play sideline commentary! Stop him!
Me?! Why don't you do it then?!
(N) Because he's outside of the story! I don't have any control over him!
See you later losers! It's time for Monokuma to take center stage! Bwahahahahahaha!!!!
And just like that, in just a flash, he was gone.
*****
Back in the present
*Vrrt* *You Got Mail*
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