Chapter 79: Ahh Shit, Literally Pt. 2
"Damn, that curry was some of the best I ever had." (Panty)
"You said it sis." (Stocking)
"I was surprised how good it was, not bad, not bad at all and that's high praise coming from me." I say as I also enjoyed that a lot.
"High praise? What have you had food prepared by master chefs before or something?" (Stocking)
"Nope, but when teenage guy is given a title of Ultimate Chef for his skills in putting real master chefs to shame and have his food constantly because your good friends with him then yeah, what I said is high praise." I say as I use a toothpick on my teeth.
"Well all this talk about food is making me need to use the van, be back in a bit." Panty said before heading upstairs to the bathroom.
"Don't let yourself get eaten by the toilet Panty!" Stocking shouted out to her as she went up the stairs.
"Oh fuck you!" She shouts back before slamming the door upstairs shut.
"…. Why do I feel like you jinxed it?" I said looking at her, as while I remember the characters and who the major antagonists were I was still drawing a blank on the minor antagonists and the villian of the episode characters as well.
"Oh please, like some ghost would be stupid enough to come here and attack us like that." She said as she brushed it off before going off to grab some ice cream from the freezer.
"Uh huh, I don't think you want to bet on that claim." I say before I stand up and start heading upstairs as I feel the ghost energy converging on the cathedral.
"What do you-"
"HELP! STOCKING! STOCKING!!!" We hear the screams of Panty calling out for help from upstairs.
"Seems like we got a dumbass ghost." I say as I reach the upstairs door and kick it open before turning and rushing to the bathroom door before kicking it open.
"Panty! Hang on!" I shout as I see her halfway pulled down the toilet with her legs being the only part sticking out as she thrashed about.
I then grabbed her by the legs and pulled with everything I got before wrenching her out, but at the same time making her get flung away as she rolled out of the bathroom before crashing into a wall.
*Sniff* "Ugh Fuck! That shit stinks!" I gag at the awful smell coming from the toilet before I notice to begin to froth and turn a deep sewage brown.
"Nope! Not today asshole!" I say before I rapid cast some sealing magic to keep whatever wanted to come out from actually coming out before casting repel to force it to go back to where it came.
"Huuu…. At least it's not going to flood the place in shit…" I sigh in relief before I head out of the bathroom to check up on Panty whose eyes were spinning from the tumble.
"Oi *snap snap* you alright?" I ask, luckily she doesn't smell like shit even if she's covered in toilet water.
"No mama I can't eat anymore I'm too full." She muttered before she shook her head to regain clarity.
"What the? That sonofabitch! I'm gonna kill that fucking ghost!!!" She shouted out before pulling herself up and rearranging her soaking wet clothes.
"Here let's fix that." I just snap my fingers and all the water and the slight smell just disappeared right off of her.
"Huh, that's pretty convenient, alright let's go fuck up that ghost! She said before running down stairs with me following after.
"Guys! I think the ghost is in the sewers or something!" Panty says only to see Stocking and Garterbelt watching the news on the TV showing I giant looking turd monster that was spewing shit all over the suburbs not far from here.
"You think? Looks like we got work to do…. Though did you even get attacked? I heard shouting but then it got quiet *sniff* and you don't smell like shit or anything." (Stocking)
"Well no thanks to you, only Jacket came to help me out when I needed it! But nevermind that we got ourselves a ghost to fuck up!" Panty says before punching her hand into her palm before she and Stocking headed out while I followed after with Garterbelt coming not far behind us.
*****
"Kyyyaaaa! A giant shit monster!" (Civilian)
"Fucking goddamnit! Our bullets ain't doing shit!" (Police 1)
"Ugh, I think I'm going to hurl." (Police 2)
*UUUUeeeeee* (Multiple Police Officers)
"Ahh Shit! What are we going to do?! My men can't do anything against this thing!" (Police chief)
"Peepee poopoo you all will smell like doodoo!" (Shit Ghost)
"Not to worry, while normal guns don't do shit against ghosts, we got three people here who were made to take down ghost like these whenever they appear." (Garterbelt)
"Are they the Ghostbusters?!" (Police Chief)
"No, but we got two holy angels and a man who is so good at what he does that even god took notice and asked him to bring aid to the people of Daren City, I'm talking about the Anarchy Sisters, Panty & Stocking along with the Professional Jacket!" Garterbelt said as he gave way to the three of us as we proceeded to the giant shit ghost.
"You mean those three teenage kids?" (Civilian 1)
"I mean those chicks look hot and the guy has good looks I don't think you should be sending in kids to deal with giant monsters like this." (Civilian 2)
"Hey Stocking, Jacket." (Panty)
"Yeah Panty?" (Stocking)
"Mhm?" (Jacket)
"Let's show them how it's done Angel style!" (Panty)
"Yeah! Wait, do you have a transformation too Jacket?" (Stocking)
"Well, I do, but I don't know if our transformations will mesh, so why don't you girls go first." (Jacket)
"Alright! Let's Rock!"(x2)
(Fly Away by TeddyLoid)
"Oh Pitiful Shadow, Lost in the Darkness. Oh Evil Spirit born Drifting between Heaven an Earth. May the Thunderous Power of these Holy delicate Maidens, Strike Down Upon You! With Great Vengeance and Furious Anger! Shattering your Loathsome Impurity from once you came!" (x2)
"So Repent You Mother Fucker!" They both shouted out as their Panty and Stocking both changed into a gun and sword respectively.
"Alright Jacket your up!" (Panty)
"Yeah, I actually want to see how your looks."(Stocking)
"Well don't get your hopes up, while yours is more upbeat mines more how we say…. Badass." I say before I begin my transformation.
(Hueco Mundo By Eternal Raijin)
Unlike there's which made it appear like they were inside a strip club, my materialized like the very lanscape of Hueco Mundo itself, if I'm going full Aizen, then what better place than Hueco Mundo as the backdrop?
Though unlike the sisters who use their halo going down to transform I make a halo near my feet before it goes up my body past my head as my glasses disappear while my hair is sweapt back making me look a one for one Aizen with my outfit as fast playing violin with the strings playing as the beat began to drop.
Though unlike Aizens normal outfits I was wearing black jeans and boots while a blank version of his old captains jacket was over my chest before I began walking forward with each step walking with the rhythm of the beat as I slowly took it off leaving my chest bare for all to see as I began to turn it into my weapon.
(Img)
"Heaven and Hell and the lands between are where I shall wander on." I say as my jacket takes on a different form as it becomes a coffin on my back that I carry it with one hand over my shoulder with complete ease as I kept walking over while I ignore the heated looks of Panty and Stocking, especially Panty.
"Those who stand in the way of my path will meet my Judgement for I am Judge, Jury and Executioner."
"So beg to your gods for mercy for I shall show none." I say as I finish as I flip it forward as it straps to my right arm as it split apart as it showed many open ports to launch rockets and machine gun bullets off the end.
'Archer, hope you don't mind copying your Reichenbach.' I think as the world returns to normal as the illusion of Hueco Mundo shatters.
"Alright enough Ogling, let's get this done alright?" I say as I squint at them as I can see them drooling as they look at my abs and pecs that are even more well defined then Aizens ever were.
"Hehehe, okay…" Panty and Stocking said as they wiped away the drool off their lips.
"Haaa, let's get this show on the road!" I said as I leapt into the air as they followed after me before we launched a full on assault on the giant Turd ghost.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG!*
*SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH!*
*RATATATATTATATATATATA! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!*
"SHIT!" (Shit Ghost)
*KABOOOOM!*
The aftermath of the destruction of the shit ghost ended as the church bells began to ring.
"The bell tolls and ghosts have been purified of their sins, at least that's what those bells mean." Garterbelt says before a shiny gold Heaven coin falls out of the sky while the distruction of the Shit ghost spreads sewage waste all across the suburbs south of here.
"Really? All that for one coin? You got to be fucking kidding me!" Panty goes and picks it up but it smells like shit so she holds it away before snapping my fingers by removing the rank smell.
"I'll take that." Garter says as he takes the coin before putting it away, "You guys did good tonight, so let's go back home." He says before he turns away and starts heading home while I go back to looking like my usual self.
Though as I begin to walk both Panty and Stocking grab onto my arms and lean into me.
"Are you sure you don't want to come up to my room tonight, after seeing your amazing form I'm positively soaked." (Panty)
"Puh-lease, don't listen to that Whore, unlike her who spreads her legs to every guy she sees I at least have some tact and I'm alright with slowly going into things if you want." (Stocking)
"Fuck off Stocking! What did I say I called dibs on him, I don't give a shit what he said about me before but if he's good in the sack I can think about giving up my sex life if he can handle my libido all on his own!" (Panty)
"That's not going to change the sight he sees in you that is nothing but a whore, and unlike you I've not spread my legs to that many guys like you, and I don't mind admitting I've only been with three guys before, and how many have you been with? All the guys in heaven and a tenth of the whole male population of Daten city? After all you were called 'Heavens Public Bicycle.' When we were up there." Stocking said which made Panty snap as veins bulged out of her head in anger.
"That's it! I'm kicking your ass!" Panty shouted out as she attacked her sister as a cat fight ensued.
I just shake my head and walk away as I ignore them both, "Let's hope this plan I have works out." I mutter to myself as I head back home.
….
…
..
.
Elsewhere in Daten City.
A long black limousine stopped before the twin curved towers in the center of Daten city before the cars that were apart of the convoy opened up and went over to the limo before opening the door.
"We have arrived sir." The bodyguard said before the man came out of the car.
Wearing a black three piece suit with red inner shirt and black tie, along with black dress shoes and black dress pants.
His skin was blood red, hair was a light shade of purple with a horn protruding from the right side of his forehead with lower half rimmed glasses framing his face as he looked around.
"Good, let's get this meeting over with." He says as he begins to walk his way towards the building with his bodyguards following.
"Yes Mr. Suit." They say as they follow the demon named Suit into the Daten City Towers.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone