Chapter 36: Komi-san can't communicate
[Komi's POV]
Communicate.
Komi-san wanted to communicate.
That's the only thing she had ever wanted throughout her life.
She wanted communicate and talk to others.
She wanted to talk about the couple in her class who liked each other.
She wanted to talk about the weather.
And complain together.
From the most shocking incident,
To the the tiniest gossip
She wanted to talk about it all.
Yet she couldn't.
Because Komi-san can't communicate.
She tried. She tried a hundred million times. But whenever she was infront of another person, she freezes.
No, everything freezes.
Even the person she was trying to talk to. They freeze.
They would either be intimidated or become bashful and run away from her as fast as possible. Komi even still remembered that one time a boy became unconscious because she was trying to talk to him.
She thinks they hate him.
Maybe her smile was weird. Maybe she really was scary. Maybe she was boring or maybe she was just too hedious.
That is what she thinks.
You see, Komi-san can't communicate.
And this not only Komi being unable to express herself or being unable to convey her intentions. She also couldn't process what others wanted to convey to her.
It goes both ways.
That is why Komi was extremely lonely.
Many people were around her. They talked, they laughed and they share. But she was never included.
Ever.
She was envious.
Extremely envious.
In room full of people. That is where Komi felt the loneliest.
A room packed with joyful people talking and expressing themselves together. That is the busiest and loneliest place Komi has ever been to is the same place.
.
.
But the young girl had hope.
She was determined to change and finally talk to people and make friends in highschool.
She thought she could do it. She thought it was possible.
But fantasy was much kinder than the real world. She messed up. They are sending her to another class.
The only thing she knew was that the other students were distracted because of her. That's what her teacher told her.
She knew it. She was too weird. They didn't want her around. Someone who always stayed silent.
Who would want her?
But as she was losing hope she met him. A boy named Yuito Fujita.
What was truly remarkable about this boy was that he was not affected by her. When she looked at him and when she acted weird around him he was unbothered.
She had heard from others that he was a loner like her. Someone who rarely speak to others and always seemed to be alone.
She thought she had found a kindred spirit. Someone like her.
And when she realised she was going to be in the same class as him, she was ecstatic. She thought she found the perfect guy to try and be friends with.
She instantly decided to sit beside him as well.
She tried to talk to him and she messed up. She thought she lost her chance again but he was unbothered.
Like a robot.
His purple eyes just stared at her, his eyes were too deep for her to gauge his emotions.
He did not scream nor ran away from her. He stayed and watched, without being scared and weirded out.
She found the perfect target to be her first friend. She could try at him multiple times and he wouldn't disappear like the others.
Because he was not affected by her. He didn't run away like others.
So try she did.
Every possible moment. Every chance she got.
She fired her shot.
And she got bolder and bolder and also better and better.
Then when it was the first break, she had enough courage to finally stand before him and say what she wanted to say.
She stood, determined. People were looking at her, her courage dwindled as the world freezes.
But he waited. He waited until the world un-freezes and she could finally try again.
He was giving her a chance. She was so thankful.
So she said, with all her heart. With her every being and all the courage she had built up since morning
"Hi, Nice to meet you."
She thought she nailed it. It was barely audible but she said it.
Yet...
"Please, could you leave if you have nothing to say?"
He said that as nice as possible but Komi felt that he was annoyed.
Now the world freeze again.
Rejection.
That's a first for Komi.
She wondered which felt worse. Being unheard or being rejected.
And she finally decided both sucks.
All this time she tried to make him her friend. She never wondered if he wanted her to be his friend.
It seems he didn't.
It was only her. Only she wanted to be friends.
Komi-san can't communicate.
So she walked away, again, ashamed and feeling stupid.
She did not dare disturb him the whole day. She did not dare consider that everyone wanted to be friends with her, like she wanted everyone to be her friend.
She knew better now. She won't do it again.
She was boring, she was weird. She had always wanted to talk to others but now she thought to herself, 'What then?'
What would she do then? What if she didn't know what else to talk about next?
Someone like her. Who would want her as a friend?
But she didn't let such thoughts make her give up. It would be harder but she still wanted to make friends and talk to others.
So after everyone left, she stayed behind and practiced how to speak.
Again and again and again. She would talk.
She practiced, imaginning someone talking with her. They talked and she replied.
And she greeted.
"Nice to meet you." she said. The sad reality that she was talking to no one but herself never really occurred to her.
She was just enjoying too much.
But then the door of the classroom opened. Someone walked in.
A boy.
Yuito Fujita.
He walked towards her and he stopped infront of her.
The world freezes again when she realized what was happening. She needed to talk to him and ask him why he was here.
But Komi-san can't communicate.
"Hi, Nice to meet you. My name's Yuito Fujita."
No, she did not talk.
It was him.
He was talking to her.
The frozen world cracks and unfreezes.
He made the world unfreeze again.
"Now, how about you try it."
"You can try as many time as you want." he said.
She could try.
Again and again until she did it.
And he wouldn't be scared or weirded out like the others.
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Author : Well that's the extra chapter. The next one would be after reaching 1000 pwerstone. You need around 250 more so good luck.
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I hope you like the development. As some of you might know I faced some trouble while writing Komi and MC and needed to change some things. But I think it came out rather okay.
Thank you for reading.
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