Chapter 3: CHAPTER 3
When I woke up, David was nowhere to be found. I guess he had left for work so early; I don't know why. I didn't dwell too much, as it's of no use.
A couple of things lessened between us, like sex, which we hadn't had in a while; it's been months together. Whenever I tried to make a move, he would always show his disinterest and stop spending time together on weekends, having a meal together, and washing dishes like everything else. No matter how much I think, I can't stop something if it's already out of my hands.
It was getting late, I got up, had my breakfast, and left my apartment. I reached the company on time and started working. It's been 4 months since I joined this company; the only hi-and-bye relationship I had with my colleague was nothing more or less.
After a few minutes, I noticed there was a change in the atmosphere: whispering, strange eyes following me wherever I was going. I was not getting 'why' getting so much attention all of a sudden, and this whispering was regarding me easily; anyone could make out that. I did not mind that much and continued doing my work. I was not able to concentrate. I mean, what was there to discuss about me other than David? No one knew anything about me. I was not close to anyone and was totally invisible in this department. I was curious, so I approached my colleagues while having a coffee break. They did not bother to acknowledge my gesture; they just passed me.
I came to my seat. This whispering was not letting me concentrate on my work. On the other hand, David's behavior was irritating—not coming home properly, not picking up calls, or responding to my messages. With this sudden change in office atmosphere, Simon, our manager, would always find a chance to pick on me. I was not getting his exact problem, and his close friend Rachel, one of our colleagues and also my senior, was doing the same. While I was trying to concentrate on my work, Rachel approached my desk and spoke, "Hi, how are you, Mr."Stealer?"—stealer, what I ever stole—God forbid that to from this woman, "Ms. Rachel, I am fine, and please let me know what I stole from you, why this sudden baseless acquisition on me." "Oh, please, from me, not in your dreams, and are you so shameless? How can you try to hit on our manager's boyfriend? Don't you have the dignity? Can you compete with our manager? Don't you have self-respect? Or have you lost that over a period of time?"
She was merely shouting with rage, which caught everyone's attention. I was perplexed about what she was talking about, what boyfriend, and who was the manager's boyfriend when I met him to steal him. Was she making any sense? "Why, what happened, shock? You are a disgusting creature for sure how can you work in the same company and stab someone back don't you have bloody morality in you, and on top of it act like nothing happened?", I was staring at her face, not getting what to respond, " Please enlighten me, who is our manager's boyfriend?", "Acting like you don't know him", "Yes, I don't know, as you got so much free time for making sure to feel me guilty, at least tell me that person's name and let me decide if he was worth it for me to feel guilty", "This attitude of yours, Mr. Walker, change it soon before it's too late and his name is David Murphy, you know he is our colleague working in the same department do you want any more information, shameless creatures".
After saying those words, she burst out of my desk, ushering everyone to continue with work.
I was in shock and confused about whose boyfriend and who was stealing, and I was shocked by hearing my boyfriend's name. What the hell was going on? My fear was turning into reality. When David became the manager's boyfriend. Everyone knew about this in the department, which only meant it was not a recent relationship. Was I kept in the dark these days? If he wanted to break up with me, couldn't he do it like any other couple? If he had sent a text, I would never mind, but why the hell was he still in a relationship with me?
I was confused, angry, and feeling many emotions at a time, and needed answers that could only be given by David. I started searching for him, but he was nowhere to be found. I asked the receptionist, and as usual, he went out with the manager. I have to meet him no matter what; I need answers. By making up my mind strongly, I returned to my place and tried to concentrate on work.
It was almost lunchtime, my appetite was gone, and my stomach was burning with rage and anger. I skipped my lunch and was patiently waiting for him to return.
By the time they returned to the company, it was already 2.30 p.m. These days, they started holding hands, and after a couple of minutes, David came to his desk. I was patiently waiting for a convenient time.
After a few minutes, he got up. I guess he was heading towards the washroom. I followed him as soon as he entered, and I entered and locked the room. He was shocked when he saw me. I grabbed his collar, took him near the wall, and spoke, "What the hell is going on between you and the manager, and what the hell are rumors about me stealing? You better speak the truth, David, now." "Ok, ok, don't get mad; please trust me. I have been trying to speak with you for the past few days, but I was not able to. Whenever I was facing you, I couldn't make up my mind to tell you the truth. I will tell you everything, but not here. Let's go on the roof. Please wait for me on the rooftop."
I loosened my grip on his collar by nodding my head. I made my way to the door and unlocked it. As I opened the door, I was shocked to see Rachel standing in front of the door. She rushed toward David and checked on him. "What did he do? Are you hurt anywhere? Should we complain about him? This is our chance. Let us make sure that he gets fired." "No, nothing happened; we were talking. Don't worry, and don't inform anyone. Continue with your work. I will join you in a few minutes." "Are you sure? Can't you utilize this opportunity? I will be your witness." "Please, let's not drag this matter down; nothing happened; go and continue with your work." "Okay, if you say so."
She turned towards me with rage and threatened me that if I caused any harm to David, she would make sure that I got fired immediately and that my name would be blocklisted from every company. I saw David was not at all remorseful about what happened and went to finish his business. I walked out of the washroom towards the roof.
My mind was blank. I reached the rooftop. Made my way to the edge of the roof and stared at the sky, which was very clear. Blue is my favorite color. I started thinking about what was happening in my life. I always ended up losing whatever I wished for or loved, feeling like it was becoming a habit. Why the hell is no one bothering to ask at least whether the rumor is true or not? Can't they listen to my side of the story too? When I was deep in my thoughts, David's shadow appeared beside me.
"What is this rumor for God's sake? Be honest with me; at least now let us clear everything." "Trust me, I don't know how this rumor spread or who was behind it, and I am sorry I should have told you before I started dating Simon; it has been a while." I was dumbfounded. "What, how do I mean, from when? Why the hell are you still in a relationship with me?" "I am sorry it has been a few months. I was so confused and always wanted to tell you, but I couldn't find enough courage to tell you the truth. Trust me, it was not a sudden decision. I was trying to deny my feelings for Simon. I was not sure and didn't want to cheat on you, so I tried to keep my distance from him. It was just a friendship between us; I didn't even realize when it turned into a relationship". "Is this how you are going to end our four-year relationship with me? At least without discussing it. We could have discussed it. I mean, you could have given me a chance. We could have found a solution together. How can you give up on us easily and move on? Don't I deserve a chance?"
He was fuming, and I am not getting why. "I have already wasted 4 years on this relationship. You want me to waste more years. From the day I entered into this relationship, all I did was support you. In our relationship, before purchasing anything, you have to think 100 times. You won't stick to your job. When are you going to become financially stable? Always, you will think of your bloody pride and your worthless ego. On top of that, my family has not accepted my relationship with you, and not even one person in my friend circle has accepted you. I can't introduce you to anyone proudly. I have to go alone to all my family gatherings. At the last moment, you would always cancel it by giving lame reasons. Why the hell do I need to go through this alone? Was it worth it? I bore all these things for 4 years. Is there any improvement in your life? I am already way ahead of you, and you are so stuck in your shitty life. How much more do I need to sacrifice? Trust me, you are a very good boyfriend in every aspect, but do you think I deserve this life where I am the one who is suffering and you are not? From the beginning of our relationship, you knew I had big dreams; if we worked together, they could not be fulfilled. At least once, have you ever thought about how to fulfill my dreams—not all, but at least one? At present, half of your salary is going towards the loan and other expenses. Once the loan is cleared, you are thinking of starting your own business. Our future will be just based on taking a loan, clearing it, and investing, where we are not sure if we will get a return or not. If we succeed, it's good, or else what asset do we have to clear the loan other than a flat? Everyone wants a good and rich life; no one wants to have the same life as you, and you are not going anywhere because of your bloody ego, which is good to some extent, ok? On the other hand, with Simon, everything is different; he always gives preference to me, and my happiness matters to him most. My family and friends don't have any second thoughts about him. I am perceiving my happiness and dreams. I mean, what is wrong in that I choose my happiness over our relationship, and trust me, I am not regretting it, not even 1%. I am sorry. I wanted to tell you personally about me and Simon, but you got to know it this way: I deserve a better life, so I am moving in with Simon today. I have already taken my belongings from our flat."
I was digesting each and every word in my system, and strangely, he was making sense. Yeah, everyone needs a good, rich life; if someone was giving, grab it as simple as that, but how can he say that only he was struggling? Yes, I was not financially stable. I can endure anything at the workplace, but if it goes beyond that, no one wants to work. I have explained everything to him about the reason for leaving my previous job, and he is still blaming me. I have endured shitty behavior from his family and friends but never complained about it. Why the hell is he making me think that because of me, this relationship came to an end? I am the one who became selfish without discussing anything and moved on. What the hell? Finally, I said, "What about this rumor? Clarify to everyone; at least let me work in peace." "Are you mad? I don't want to disclose our relationship, no matter what. I don't know how this rumor spread. Trust me, I am not responsible; stay calm for a few days; rumor will vanish in no time." "So, you mean I should bear this prejudice from colleagues as a victim?" "Just a few days, everything will be back to normal." "Why would I do that? I am not out of my mind; why not expose both of you and work in peace?" "Do you think if you tell the truth, anyone will believe you, and you have not even completed your probationary period? Even I won't be able to stop Simon if he decides to fire you. Do you think you got this job easily based on the CV that you got, which was useless? I convinced him so much that, after that, he agreed to hire you. Based on the situation that you are in right now, was it okay to get fired? If Simon took this personally, he would make sure that you wouldn't get a job anywhere else. If that happens, what about your bank loan and other expenses? Trust me on this bear for a few days; it will get calm eventually."
Every sentence was true. I can't risk anything at this point in time. If I get fired, getting a job based on my CV is fucking impossible. Always, David would make sense; that's why he is choosing his happiness: "Did Simon know about our relationship?" "Yes." "Still, he pursued you, and you played along with him." As I said, we were just friends; we can't control a few things. I do have my reasons. He always made me special and saw to it. I was always happy if he was so busy too; he always made time for me just to get to know me; he would always give me first preference; he did not hesitate in showing his intentions towards me in front of everyone. All those things made me fall so hard for him. I tried not to, but I couldn't help. Please, it's not anyone's fault; maybe we were bound to be with each other. If we maintain our distance and be quiet about this rumor, trust me, it will vanish. I thought of speaking some other day; as you know everything, let's put an end to everything. I can't pay EMI from next month onwards. You can keep the flat and the amount that I have already paid and return it to me whenever it's possible. No hurry. I am sorry you came to know this way."
By saying that, he walked out, and at last, my fear turned into reality. My four-year relationship came to an end just like that. If I were my old version in this situation, I would throw my resignation letter in Simon's face, but, as he said, I could not risk this job no matter what, and my dream I cannot give up on either that easily. I would regret it in the future, at least for not trying. I cannot give up on my job; in any case, I need a stable job. If I achieved something in my career, at least my parents would be proud. I cannot let these things break me down. I made up my mind strongly and went back to my desk.
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