Slowly but surely, our family began to split up.
At first, it was just a few meals together without the other side. A club that ended later, a doctor's appointment, clothes to pick up from the dry cleaners: the reasons for not meeting became more frequent, until one day I went a whole week without seeing Rei or her children.
They had moved to the east wing of the house, just above the kitchens, while they waited for the main building to be rebuilt.
Dad and I ended up in the west wing, the place that was more of an outbuilding and housed his office, among other things.
He had decided not only to rebuild the house, but also to add on to this corner. He was going to knock down one of the back walls and enlarge it.
He showed me the plans and asked if I wanted anything in particular. I think it was his way of compensating for the mess the family had become, but I wasn't one to turn down a gift, even if it was out of a sense of guilt.
He had already planned to build a gym and an indoor pool in addition to our two bedrooms, and I had offered to enlarge his office, but he had refused, saying it was good enough for him.
So I asked for our own kitchen, separate from the one in the east wing, and a movie theater. I had also thought about a stable, but since I expected to be faster than a horse in a while, there was no point.
The architect added his two cents by suggesting an outdoor sports field and a greenhouse. While the first idea was acceptable, my father's response to the second was curt : neither he nor I would have any use for such a thing.
"They never stop"
I looked up at Mizuki-sensei, who was leaning against a tree with a stalk of wheat dangling from his mouth. He had found a cowboy hat from who knows where and put it carelessly on his head.
He looked like a criminal out of an old cowboy movie.
"He wants everything done before winter"
There were almost two hundred people working day and night on the site. One of them had a Quirk to muffle the sound in a limited area, so we could sleep at night without being woken up by a jigsaw at two in the morning.
"That's the beauty of being rich. You pull out money and everything do your biding"
That may have been true in the old days, but it meant nothing in this world.
"Life is hard for us peasants"
I raised my eyebrows, unimpressed.
"Says the guy who gets paid to do nothing"
"First, don't say I didn't wear you down to the bone last month. Second, it's your father who wants us to take things slowly. And since he's the one who signs the checks, I'm not going to bother"
I grunted and fell back onto the damp grass.
Mizuki had become a kind of incompetent luxury babysitter. He watched me in the afternoons and did nothing but doze off while asking our servants to bring him watermelon juice.
"Ice cube"
I raised my right hand, and frozen stars shot out of it, heading straight for him. I was ashamed to say that this simple request was the most exciting thing I'd done all day.
Except for my ninja training, of course. Nothing like it to chase away the dark thoughts. And according to the Encyclopedia, I'll soon be ready for nature training.
"Hmm, not too bad. A little irregular and the peaks aren't perfectly even, but it's not as bad as it was in the beginning"
They finally turned off their electric saws.
Birds singing and crickets chirping took over again.
"Hey, Mizuki"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him raise his hat with his thumb.
"How does it feel to kill someone ?"
He grunted and let the hat slide down his nose.
"I'm not your shrink, kid"
I raised my left hand to cover the sun, letting the light pass through the space between my fingers.
Then I closed it, trapping the rays inside.
"I nearly killed my brother the other day. Before my father came, I mean"
He didn't answer, but I knew he was listening.
"There was this weird moment when I knew I was going to do it. I wasn't really in my body anymore. It was like... like I was not in control anymore. That I could only see myself doing it in third person"
The wind rose, brushing the blades of grass and laid them horizontally.
"... and how did you felt ?"
"Anxious"
New silence. Birds chirping. The chatter of builders taking a break.
"What do you want to do with your life ?"
"My life..."
I let my arm fall back to my side.
It was a beautiful day. The sky was pure blue, cloudless, and the air was warm.
"You mean what I'm going to do in the next few weeks ?"
He sniffed, amused.
"I'm not interested in your childish activities. I'm talking about your life, later on. When you're a grown up"
The question was strange.
Odd, even, considering everything I'd been through.
"I don't know"
I can't see that far.
"I can't see that far"
To live so long seemed absurd.
Everyone always seemed to believe they'd grow up and get old and relish the passage of life, but something deep inside me prevented me from believing it.
As if I knew I was fated to never make it.
"But if I make it, if I'm really eighteen one day, then that's the problem of my future self"
The future was far away. Maybe even nonexistent. Today was a beautiful day. That was enough for me.
"Mizuki ?"
His breathing was regular. His chest rose and fell slowly as if he had fallen asleep.
I let myself fall back onto the grass and watched the sky. A white-winged bird passed in front of the sun, circling above the trees for a moment before disappearing into the distance, gliding toward the horizon.
Arms under my head, I closed my eyes. The sun heated my skin.
"There's this quote I heard once", Mizuki said, "Well, I don't really know if it's a quote, but whatever : " Hurt people, hurt people" "
I opened my eyes.
"I'm not here to tell you if it's right or wrong to kill someone. Sometimes I think it's necessary, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. It's not like in the movies or TV shows where a guy shows up and slaughters everyone with his Alter because they killed his dog"
I smiled.
"Real life is different. There are no good guys or bad guys. There are just people who think they're doing the right thing and trying to get by"
The sky was beautiful. Pure blue.
"No matter what you do, you'll always be the bad guy in someone else's story. So do as you please and don't worry about the anything else"
Something clicked inside me.
It was as if I'd just understood a riddle whose answer had always been right in front of me.
"Do as I please…"
The sky was beautiful.
*People who hurt, hurt/Hurt people, hurt people
*
Author's note :
Did Shoto had an epiphany ?
This is the first chapter of the special saturday double release (yeah you can pat yourself on the back, you did great work last week).
Next chapter is gonna be something many of you have been asking for a while... can anyone guess ?
Anyway, I have 100% belief we can get enough power stones to get the sunday bonus chapter for tomorrow.
For those of you who would like to support me/read ahead of the schedule, you can do so on my Patreon, Nar_cisseENG and read up to 50 chapters ahead.
See you later everyone !