"What about you, Mother-in-law? How was the transition from commoner to noble?"
Becca's Mother put her hand on her cheek and sighed. "It was a real struggle…noble women really like to have exclusive social circles. For me, an adult who suddenly became a noble, it was pretty much impossible to fit in.
Most of the noble women my age had been nobles their whole lives and had been in the same cliques for 10+ years before I showed up.
They also looked down on nobles that were not noble by birth…noble parties are like a real battlefield…they treat commoner women even worse. Like they don't have the right to breath the same air as them…
It's all a little frustrating. They just want a way to feel better about themselves since noble women are one of the most restricted groups of people in this Kingdom. They have countless rules and regulations they have to adhere to.
I myself struggled to stop myself from humming my favorite songs when I first became a noble. It's like noble women are restricted from having fun. I know a lot of noble women who actually envy commoner women, who are allowed much more freedom.
For instance, there's a lot of books targeted at noble women about a noble woman that suddenly became a commoner who is able to choose who they want to marry. It's sad that noble men know noble women read these stories and long for freedom from their arranged noble husbands, but they don't care at all because they know they have no choice in the matter and they see it purely as fantasy.
Honestly though, young noble men usually don't have it much better. They often also need to forsake the love of their lives to get in a political marriage that will help strengthen their territory. When you think about it that way, it's hard to blame them when they neglect their wives that were forced upon them."
It was a cruel system that didn't care about the wellbeing and happiness of the individuals who suffered under it. "The root cause of all this is the way that noble society views the value of marriage. For nobles, marriage is all about power, connections, and contracts. When really marriage should be viewed as a way to find happiness, family, and love.
If we shifted our view of marriage this way, people could look for a partner who could bring them true happiness, settle down and start a fufilling family with them. If they ever get married with someone and realize that their marriage ended up making them miserable, then they could both choose to divorce instead of being stuck in a relationship that only brings pain. That kind of relationship would be self-destructive to both parties.
I believe the duty of the Kingdom is to help people have the best quality of life possible. If someone is stuck in a marriage with someone that makes them suffer day and night, are we really helping them have the best quality of life possible? We really need to restructure our way of thinking about things and how much we are willing to let people suffer for silly traditions."
Becca's Mother did not fully buy in to what I was saying. "But if we make it all about our own happiness instead of being loyal to your partner, there will be a lot of impatient people who will divorce after one small argument…what about the children they might share together? It would be so hard to loss a parent suddenly..."
I understood where Becca's Mother was coming from. "In my vision for the future, where people marrry the person they truly love, I think divorce should only be the last option after all other attempts of reconciling have been exhausted. It's just the reality that some people are truly incompatible with each other, no matter how much effort they put.
As for couples with kids…I think it is worse for the child to have to live with a Mother and Father who actively hate each other. It's better for them to separate and let the child pick who they want to live with. Of course the other person can still visit on occasion to see their child.
With all this said, the world isn't perfect and there are some horrible people out there, so there will be a number of divorces that are messy and do some permanent damage to people, but it should be in the minority.
Especially because even if one side is less willing and sad about divorce, it is better in the long run to move on from someone that chose to give up on you and find someone who will always have your back."
Becca's Mother was day dreaming about the kind of future I was describing. "That does sound nice…I hope you guys can really change all the constricting noble traditions and rules…"
Becca chimed in from the side, "the future Nick envisions always sounds so great. I'll do everything in my power to help make his vision a reality!"
"Thanks Becca, I'm sure once people get a taste of it, they will really love the focus on their own wellbeing and quality of life. We just have to overcome those stubborn people who are scared of change."
"Since it is going to make a majority of people's lives better, it should hopefully be possible to convince most people."
The rest of the night we continued talking and share stories. Because the family of four had just reconciled and were full of energy, we chatted happily for hours and hours. Once we were about to finally head out, I made one last remark.
"Tomorrow morning, Becca and I are going to make pancakes for the whole family, so we can let you all try out the new syrup we created. It is sweet and tastes really good with pancakes."
Becca Father was worried, "you don't have to make it yourselves! I'll get the chefs to make it for breakfast if that is what you want to try the syrup with…"
I waved my hand, "you are misunderstanding. Becca and I already made plans to make pancakes together someday, so we are just using the syrup as an excuse to do it now."
"Alright…please don't end up giving us inedible pancakes…"
"Haha, I know what I'm doing, so I'll make sure to teach Becca properly."