Chapter 3: What a mess
It was as I had feared. I had not bled for two months, and the royal midwife had confirmed that I was indeed with child.
My husband was overjoyed as he was given the news, but I had somehow convinced him not to tell anybody yet, especially his father. I wanted to make the announcement once I felt more prepared for the child we were to have.
Despite knowing I was with child, Thor didn't seem to hold back with the intimacy. It was as if he had not seen me for years and couldn't keep to himself. We were yet to be caught when he kept on wanting it to be in public places.
I needed to get some peace and quiet.
Luckily, I had been invited for tea with the all-mother, bless her heart. She was the only one who seemed to care for my well-being and didn't view me as some breeding tool.
"How are you, my dear?" she asked me.
"I'm fine," I lied.
The all-mother gave me a judgy look. She knew something was off, as the mother of the god of mischief should.
I sighed and confessed what was bothering me, there was no point in hiding it from the all-mother.
"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm pregnant."
Her face lit up, just like my husband had done when I had told him.
"Congratulations Y/N, this should be celebrated."
"N-no," I squealed. "What I mean is, I would rather keep it between the two of us for now."
"Why do I get the feeling this is bothering you more than you let on?" she asked. This woman seemed to be in my mind, reading all my worries like some novel she found in the library.
"I don't mean this in the wrong way, all-mother, but I don't know if I'm ready for a child yet. With all due respect, my husband is still acting like a child himself and I can hardly handle him." There, I said it.
The all-mother was quiet for some time. Her facial expressions didn't change one bit. I had no idea what she was thinking about.
It felt like hours had passed before she said something.
"I understand where your concerns are coming from my dear, and if you can keep a little secret, I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with my first child."
I was shocked. Did she just tell me she found her husband childish? Perhaps it was in their DNA. Oh Norns, if I was to go through everything like the All-mother I was sure to die before I turned 2500.
"Luckily, after finding out I was with child, Odin began growing up, getting ready to become a father, and somehow, it even affected how he was as a leader. When He-, I mean Thor, was born, Odin seemed to only think about our child, not even the ongoing war around him." She seemed to be reminiscing about her youth.
Her words somehow calmed me. If the All-father could forget about an entire war when seeing his son, maybe Thor would do the same. Maybe getting pregnant wasn't all too bad.
"Thank you all-mother. I think I needed to open up to somebody about this." She was a great person. She wouldn't lie to me. I could trust her, and she would even be by my side when I would be raising the child.
"Worry not my dear. Pregnancy may be scary at first, but a child can be a blessing," she said with a soft smile on her face.
I was clueless as to what to expect during my pregnancy. Maybe I should go read up on it in the library.
I excused myself and left to do some reading.
The large room was covered with books.
It had always fascinated me, and I had spent many hours in there with Loki when we were younger, secretly improving our sourcery skills when our lessons were over and there was no scheduled training for Thor, the warriors three, and Sif that I could join.
I had always been mighty at fighting, people quickly began talking about my skills, proclaiming I was a great weapon if Asgard was to be sent into battle again. I didn't mind sitting quietly and reading with Loki though. Peace was often better than war.
The warriors three had once joked about me being the goddess of war and peace considering my violent, yet well-behaved nature. I didn't believe them at first. I had not been named a goddess at birth, so I couldn't be one. Yet the All-father had no problem deeming me a goddess at the mere age of 500.
Quite young to get a blessing like that. Some women were envious as it meant I would most likely marry one of the princes.
I found the aisle with female anatomy and pregnancy. The book I was looking for was on the top shelf, just out of my reach. I got up on my toes, but I couldn't reach properly.
As I tried to get down the book, a hand went from my waist up to my jaw, making me unable to turn around to see who had the audacity to do such. I knew it was my husband, no other man would dare touch me like this, but I felt helpless being unable to react.
The other hand moved up to grope my breast, making me slightly moan at the feeling.
"T-Thor, this is by far the riskiest place you have yet to touch me like that. You know Loki spends most of his time here. He could catch us any minute," I stuttered.
He didn't respond. I had to be quiet, I knew that, but he had found one of my sweet spots quickly. Fuck, this man would be the end of me.
His hand left my breast after a bit, trailing down my side. He pulled up my skirt with his free hand. I had not worn underwear for a few days, the midwife had advised against such as it could cause an infection.
I heard a low groan as my lower abdomen was exposed. I had not mentioned what the midwife had told me. It could have aggravated him further to be more intimate, despite my condition.
My eyes shut close as his fingers found their way onto my clit. His touch sent shivers down my spine as usual. I was his first, but he seemed as experienced as a man with many women laying beneath him.
"F-fuck, Thor," I moaned.
The light pressure was heavenly.
light kisses were placed on my neck and shoulder as his fingers began working faster.
His digits left my clit and I whined in protest. I heard a low chuckle from behind me.
He slid a finger inside of me with ease, and the sensation made me gasp. Another finger made its way in between my fold and I couldn't help but moan as his fingers began moving inside of me.
I was lucky no one else was in the library at the moment. I was unable to keep quiet and I was sure my husband found that amusing. It often did when he saw or heard how pleasing his movements were.
His thumb was placed on my clit again and I felt myself growing closer.
"I-I'm so close, I'm gonna cum," I cried.
"Go right ahead darling," he said.
It was a familiar voice, but not the voice of my husband, but I was too caught up in my own pleasure to notice anything.
A last loud moan escaped my lips as my walls clenched around his fingers. His pace only slowed down a bit as he kept on fingerfucking me while I came down from my high.
It took a moment for my breathing to become steady again. I had time to think as I felt the long fingers pull out of me. Then it hit me. The man behind me wasn't my husband. I had been violated by a man I had not sworn an oath to.
I turned around and to my horror, the raven locks were all too familiar. His green eyes were dark with lust as he looked at his glistening fingers.
"L-Loki?" I stammered.
His wicked smile was all too clear. He had no right to touch me like this and he knew it. How could someone be so shameless?
"You sure made a mess this time darling," he said with a grin.
"Don't call me darling," I said through gritted teeth.
Another realization hit me as he laughed right in my face.
"Wait, what do you mean with 'this time'?" I was scared of what he would answer.
His grin grew even wider. His face reminded me of one of those scary Midgardian clowns I had seen when I visited Midgard with the royal family as a young girl.
"Oh come on, you can't tell me you didn't know it has been me all along," he said. Not a hint of shame was to be seen on his face.
He had been intimate with me before? When? He couldn't be the father of my child, he wouldn't be that ruthless. He had the reputation of being a monster, and it seemed true he had tricked his own sister-in-law into being intimate with him, but to get his brother's wife pregnant? He wasn't that evil, right?
He realized I didn't know what he was talking about and continued speaking.
"You remember the maid's chamber the day after your wedding when I stormed off?"
I shook my head in denial. He could read minds on occasions. He must have done that to Thor when they were drunk or something.
"No? Well, do you remember the balcony, the throne room, the training area, or even the stables?" He said with a smile.
There was no way he knew all of this just from reading his brother's mind. So it was true. He had taken the appearance of my own husband and taken me for his own pleasure.
I was angry. I couldn't keep it in me anymore. Violence was in my nature after all, and even though I couldn't kill another member of the royal family, I could hit him.
A hand flew towards his face and my palm was stinging a bit after coming in contact with his cheek. I wanted to do much more, but I would be punished by the all-father.
Loki touched his cheek a bit, surprised that I had indeed slapped him. After a bit, he just laughed.
"Is someone on their period?" he asked.
How could he ask me such a thing? He had fucked me on multiple occasions and now made jokes about my menstrual cycle.
I was bursting with rage.
"No I am not you imbisile. I have in fact not been for two months and was informed a few days ago that I am in fact pregnant! With you screwing me without my knowledge or even consent I don't even know if the father is my own husband or if I will give birth to a bastard conceived outside of wedlock. Have you any idea of the horrible situation you have put me in you asshole? I didn't even want to become pregnant, but it seems that neither you nor your brother sees me as anything other than a mere toy for your own selfish desire!" I yelled.
I was fuming. The midwife had told me not to become agitated, but this was too much. I was being screwed in multiple ways, literally and figuratively and the only person that seemed to care for me was Frigga.
Loki's expression changed to shocked as he realized what I had said. It wasn't fun and games anymore.
"You're what?" he asked.
"Pregnant! With child! Carrying a future heir of Asgard inside of my womb! Do I need to spell it out for you!?!" I yelled.
Loki went silent. He began pacing around, his hands running through his black hair. It had always been a nervous habit of his, I knew him well enough to know that. We were once friends.
"And there is no way you can get rid of that... thing?" he asked, pointing to my stomach.
I crossed my arms. He was talking nonsense.
"And what do you want me to tell my husband, you mother or father?"
He didn't respond. He could see how it would be foolish to force a miscarriage.
"W-well maybe others won't find out. It will be our little secret. A secret little family. You, me, and our child," he said walking over to me.
He looked sad yet a little hopeful at the same time. Loki tried to touch my stomach but I moved backward.
"No, Loki. I am raising this child with my husband. You wouldn't have to worry about any of this if you would have thought two seconds ahead and not done something so perverted as being intimate with another man's wife. Why would you think this was a good idea, to begin with?" I asked, still quite mad.
"Because I love you!" he shouted.
What? The prince with a reputation to push others away just told me he loved me? Why tell me now and not before I was courting Thor?
The room grew quiet. Neither of us knew what to say.
"I know it was foolish, but I have loved you for years, only for Odin to arrange a marriage between you and Thor. It had nothing to do with love, only power. I had pleaded for that stubborn old man to let me court you, but he didn't find me worthy. He only talked about creating a stronger generation for the future. I was so furious when my brother got to kiss you, be close to you, and bed you. I-I just wished to have a bit of what he had."
He looked defeated. His words were sweet, but they didn't justify the situation. This was a mess.
"Loki, I know you have never felt good enough growing up in your brother's shadows, but it's too late. I am married to Thor, I am pregnant and he could be crowned king any day now. We can never be together unless he gets exiled or dies. You know that," I said.
It was too late for him to proclaim his love for me. A few years ago I would have been overjoyed, but now it was of no use.
"I understand. And I apologize." He didn't look at me again, he just left, looking onto the ground.
What was this mess I had somehow gotten myself into?
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