Chapter 45: I'm Off to UA!
"You are attending the Entrance Exam for UA highschool?" Kurogiri's bright yellow eyes vanish for a moment as he blinks. Probably from surprise. Or he might have just gotten dust in them.
"Yep!" I nod with a happy smile on my face, knowing that my lack of elaboration would annoy him. With a sigh he continues the game.
"Why do you wish to attend the exam for a hero school? And will it lead to any problems for the League of Villains?"
I think about that for a moment. On one hand, a villain -though I'm not stupid, obviously I'm not going to wear my villain outfit!- boldly walking into a hero school is bad on so many levels. On the other…
"Nope! I'm going to have fun, not to hunt or cause the heroes problems." I rethink that last part for a moment. "...I mean, there probably will be problems for them, but it's not the express reason I'm going."
He stares at me for a few seconds before sighing tiredly. That reminds me, does he get vacation time? He's always either standing at the bar, cleaning up the base/bar, or running errands for whoever. But, theoretically, if he ever went on vacation and left the League for some length of time, what would happen?
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Kurogiri looks at the crater that used to be the base. He asks a passing passerby before he can pass about what had passed.
"Well, blood flowed out of all the windows, so someone called the heroes. Then enough body parts to fill a morgue got thrown out of the windows, and, again, heroes were called. But when they all got here the entire building turned to dust. Then a giant bubble appeared so All Might punched it. It popped, and that's how the crater happened."
"And the people inside?" Kurogiri asks.
"No idea."
~
Nah, it wouldn't be as bad as all that. Probably.
A tap on my forehead pulls me out of my theorizing. In front of me is Kurogiri holding out a Mirko themed lunch box, so I slap a hand to my forehead. "Darn it! I keep forgetting to hunt down Mirko for some tests!" I move to the center of the floor and pry open a trapdoor, poking my head down to shout. "ONE! SCHEDULE A HUNT ON MIRKO FOR ME SOMETIME SOON!"
"I'm not your secretary! Or a nurse! Do it yourself and get someone else to take care of this girl! SOMEONE SANE!"
I chuckle as I pull out -a rarity, I know- and let the door fall shut. "Yeah… that's not happening." Who is it that One is taking care of? Well, that would be our newest recruit! Who just so happens to also be the reason why Himi isn't around and why I'm bored!
I was right about Two being immune to fall damage -something that Shiggy happily tapped his feet to when I told him- but the problem is that she didn't just fall. She fell into a school that was on fire! Really, who would throw some random middle schooler-but-not-really into a blazing building? The people in this world have no shame! Or would that be honor? Morals?
Whatever you'd refer to it as, the end result is the same. Our newest recruit has been relegated to bed rest in the underground clinic we have. And also unconsciousness. When did we get a clinic? When I had Kurogiri portal a bunch of medical stuff inside the testing room where we'd originally stuck One! He was so happy to be the one to keep her company down there that he fainted from happiness!
Unfortunately Kurogiri refused to just portal enough medicine to last her full recovery into the room. Something about how what she needs would expire before she gets back to full health.
Pft, expiration dates are just recommendations! I took expired medicine all the time and only occasionally experienced minor hallucinations! Seeing a girl with a bow in her hair punching a book ghost in the face isn't a problem. She even waved to me!
But since everyone else disagreed, Himi is impersonating a nurse at a hospital for a while to get the stuff Two needs. Bonus for her, she gets to raid their blood supply! Detriment to me, no snuggles until she gets back!
Anyways, "Thanks for the lunch, Mamagiri!" I accept the lunchbox from a Kurogiri with one hand on his hip who is looking at me with narrowed eyes. Since he seems annoyed with me for some reason I make sure to use his nickname and give him a peck on the cheek! Side of his mist. Eh, close enough. Hope it wasn't actually his lips that I kissed. That would be awkward.
Rushing out the door I shout over my shoulder, "I'll be back either tonight or tomorrow, a week at the latest!" I let the door slam behind me as I rush to catch the train. Sure, I could have asked Kurgiri to send me there, but then the carefully crafted identity I sent to the school for my application would be ruined!
The application has my name being Biggius Dickus, and my quirk as infinite stamina!
`~`
Kurogiri watches the mad lad dash out the door, too shocked to move from where he is standing. His mind seems to have frozen, unable to process what just happened.
Slowly, his hand rises to touch the spot where the young villain had kissed him, like a child would their mother. He… had not realized that the boy truly saw him as such, rather than it just being a nickname.
An unfamiliar feeling begins to grow inside of him, a peculiarity given his inability to feel true emotions, all that he has felt before have simply been simulated in order to build a sense of camaraderie with his charge and those who join the League of Villains.
But now he is truly feeling something, and he does not know what to think about it. Should he report the development to All For One? Perhaps Doctor Garaki?
He believes that he should, to ensure that there is not something wrong with him. But… he does not…wish…to. Another peculiarity. But one he believes that he will indulge in.
And so he returns to his usual spot behind the bar, polishing an already clean glass as he waits for any potential customers, or for Tomura Shigaraki to have need of him. But the entire time he examines the new feeling inside of him, eventually realizing what it is.
Happiness.
`~`
I whistle seeing how big the school is. "Someone's compensating for something. Probably Kachan," I muse to myself as I make my way to the auditorium. For some reason I trip on nothing and start to fall, maybe another applicant is using their quirk to sabotage people to make themselves feel better about their chances?
'I could do it now, but it wouldn't have as big an impact…'
Before I can hit the ground and decide whether or not to do what I came here to, I feel myself stop. More than that I can feel my sense of equilibrium taking a ride on a gyrosphere. A slow one though, so I'm in no danger of throwing up.
"Sorry that I used my quirk on you without asking," a bubbly voice next to me says and I feel myself being put upright. I look to the side and see a girl with chubby cheeks and a perpetual blush framed by a bob of brown hair. She taps her fingers together and I feel my weight return to normal. "I figured that it's bad luck to fall before the exam," she says with a smile trying to hide her own nerves.
I nod. "Maybe. But hey, I'm here to have fun! Can't let a little thing like bad luck get in my way, now can I?"
She looks surprised for a moment before smiling brightly and hopping a bit. 'Could this girl be one of my people?' "You're right! We should have confidence in ourselves and not let the exam stress us out!" She pumps her arm before charging towards the doors. "Let's goooo!!!"
I chuckle as I charge along with her. She seems bubbly and easygoing, but that bit where she just read too much into what I said reminds me of myself with quirks.
Maybe we can be friends!
`~`
The written part of the exam goes by in a flash and I meet back up with the girl from the gate as we make our way to the practical portion where we separate, and finally introduce ourselves as we part.
"I'm Ochako Uraraka, it was nice meeting you."
I smile and wave before turning away. "Call me Biggius Dickus. It was nice meeting you too."
Once I take my seat I can see that the girl is still standing by the door, her hand raised with a blank look in her eyes. It's not until the next person walks in that she seems to restart, her face turning scarlet and her legs moving like tires to get her to her seat where she promptly slams her face onto the table.
'Yeah. She's a fun one.'
It doesn't take long for all the seats to be filled up, and I have to hold myself back from stabbing someone as the seat next to me is taken. Specifically the person who takes the seat.
Izumi. Fucking. Yagi.
I look at the ground between my legs. "Why, Receptionist? Why do you punish me so?"
"Don't you mean Satan? And isn't it usually God?" She asks me with a tired voice.
I shrug. "Usually, yeah. But I've been down there and the Receptionist handles everything."
She chuckles drily. "Yeah, must get pretty busy down there… guess…out…" I don't quite catch the last part she mutters as she lays her head in her arms, and I take the opportunity to take a closer look at her. This isn't the same bully I remember. And why can I talk to her? I'm literally one rude comment away from stabbing her but I'm talking to her normally!? What the hell!?
Her hair is disheveled, and I can see a few spots where it's clumped together. I don't recognize her uniform, which makes sense since Aldera closed down. I can't see her face with how she's put her head down, but if her voice is anything to go by it's probably in rough shape too.
What happened…? It couldn't be about me, she was probably just sad that her training victim wasn't around anymore. So what could it be…?
Before I can wonder about it further the proctor for the exam slides in on his knees with his head thrown back to face the ceiling. "HELLOOOOO UA CANDIDATES! LET ME HEAR SOME OF THAT EXCITEMENT!!"
"YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!" I roar so loud that I damage my vocal cords a bit, which will mess with how I sound. Just a bit of extra insurance in case Izumi starts paying attention. Which she probably will given the way she jumps and starts to glow as she floats a bit away from me. I see she's picked up some new tricks.
The guy on my other side doesn't have as convenient a way to get away from my exuberant shout and ends up just falling out of his chair as he tries scrambling away.
The proctor, who I've identified as the pro hero Present Mic, leaps to his feet and points at me with both hands. "HELL YEAH! THAT'S THE KIND OF EXCITEMENT I WANT TO SEE! HEROES GOTTA BE LOUD! GOTTA BE SEEN!"
Hearing his explanation the two take their seats once more, giving me wary looks as they do. "Now let's talk about how this practical exam is going to go down. ARE YOU READY KIDS!?"
This time there are a few scattered cheers, though not nearly to the level of mine, -though one pink girl shouting about him being a captain comes close- which damages my vocal cords even further. It's a good thing I don't plan to live through the day.
He explains how we'll be fighting robots worth different points, but gets interrupted. "Pardon me, but you stated that there are three robots while the print-outs handed out claim there are four. We are exemplary students, we expect the best from Japan's most notable school. A mistake such as this is unacceptable!"
Mr. Impatient Silver Spoon then whirls around and points at me. I feel like I've gotten that more than usual today. Maybe it's a new fad? Don't pick up on those too much living in a villain lair and such.
"As for you, while we are all excited for the chance to apply, that is no excuse for such excessively loud responses! Think of the other applicants!" He chops his hand rapidly with the last admonishment and I pretend to think about it for a moment before standing up, my disguise shown off to all.
Which basically amounts to dying my hair blue and putting an orange streak in it. I also have a replica of my usual mask on since there are other people wearing masks as well.
"You know, I have a way for you to help me decide on the perfect volume. If you're interested?" I raise an inquisitive eyebrow, getting a firm nod back.
"That would be satisfactory, but for now-," he whirls back to face Present Mic. "Sir! The print-outs?"
"The fourth villain is worth zero points. You can fight it if you want, but there's really no point given that, again, it is worth zero points."
There's a few mutterings about how the exam is just like a video game and for a brief moment I wonder if I should have brought Shiggy. But… I have my own stuff to do, and he'd probably just go on a killing spree for 'bonus points' or as a 'secret level'.
"I'll leave you with a tasty soundbite before you go. As Napoleon Bonaparte once laid down, so too does a certain hero who absolutely hates the media's attention."
As we file out of the auditorium and to a line of buses waiting for us, I can't help but wonder which hero he could have been talking about.
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