Chapter 55: Chapter 53
" Did you now?"
" Of course I did. Fifth grade, the second semester, these classmates were talking, reminiscing about the trip. That short girl who always wore pink said she had spotted and informed you they were about to leave. I guess I connected the dots after that. "
He grew silent. And I figured I had succeeded at shocking him. By the time I had come to learn of the truth, him and I had already been friends for about a year. I didn't see the need to ask him. By that point, he had proven countless times that the type of friendship we had was genuine and he would be with me through everything. But the revelation had increased my level of affection for him.
" Amber, " he finally said. Making me recall that girls' name, I chuckled and nodded to myself. I was a bit surprised that he could still remember. She had always been curious about why he hadn't listened to her, and by the time the bus left, she had assumed he had gotten on.
" Yeah, her. "
" Why'd you do it though? We weren't even friends back then. "
" Because you intrigued me, "
" You could have told me,that way we'd have both gotten on the bus. You really didn't think it through. "
" Actually I did. I had planned to help you explore, you seemed so into it. But then you freaked out and I decided to end your suffering instead. "
I smiled. It was the most little and random things that made me like him even more. The words he said and the earnesty in them. The genuine innocence behind his intentions when we had still been strangers and the frightening truth behind his actions now that we had grown up.
" How was school today?" He went ahead to ask. I yawned, lied on my back again and held the phone to my ear.
" Long, uninteresting. "
" Missed me, didn't you Stevens? "
Smiling, I placed the call on speakerphone before laying it next to me on the pillow.
" You've made me painfully aware of your existence. How do you expect me to feel knowing you're not there? "
" Did you just admit that you like me too?"
" Was it ever a secret?"
" You're in the dark, aren't you?"
I rolled my eyes. He was teasing me,but underneath it all was a reminder. A hidden message that I could only say such things in the dark even if there was no one around to hear me. But that didn't take away from the fact that everything I said was the pure truth. What I felt for him wasn't a secret. He had always been aware, and I had always known that he knew. It was the cycle of our peculiar relationship, I secretly wondered what it would feel like to be more than friends,but then I also knew I didn't have the courage to be anything but.
" Can you tell me?"
" Tell you what?"
" That you like me. "
I realized that we were openly flirting, and it made me excited, thrilled me more than I had ever thought it would. In the past I had always let him make those comments on his own, only responding once or twice in the vaguest of ways. But that night I wasn't holding back, maybe it was the drowsiness.
Maybe it was just the fact that I missed him and craved his company. Just a day and I was craving the deep feeling of safety I got whenever I was near him.
" Tomorrow...maybe I will, maybe I won't. "
" Don't be mean. "
" It's late, you should get some rest. Otherwise you'll just sleep throughout every lesson. "
" I'll do that anyway, plus it's already tomorrow so just tell me. "
" Goodnight Austin, "
" Come on--"
" I fucking like you! Now please sleep. "
I didn't want to cut the call, but I had to recall that there were actual limits. And I wasn't the type to make my feelings too obvious, before Austin I had never really opened up about such things. I couldn't even imagine myself saying anything of the sort to anyone else, because there's no one else I would ever think of in the same light I thought of Austin.
" Nyt baby. "
" Don't be weird, I'm off. "
I cut the call, the same way he always put an end to our 'moments' way before they began because he knew I'd be left craving more.
And then I just laid there, doing the same thing I had done so many times in the past but in a different way. Because whenever I used to think about him, I immediately followed it up with trying to force myself to stop. But this time I let myself do so, I unleashed my imagination and I actually let it run wild. It's potential scared me, it run too deep. And the problem was that once I had it running there was no way I could stop it. He made things worse by texting me. When I said Austin was random I meant it. He was also too honest sometimes. The ease with which he was able to say things was a trait of his I both admired and feared.
" One day you'll let me take control, and I'll make you feel things you never thought you could. "
Then a couple of seconds later he followed it with another text.
" And yes, it's exactly what you're thinking. "
My eyes widened and I guiltily looked around because I felt as if I was doing something wrong. I considered leaving him on read till the following day, but I imagined him, eagerly waiting for me to respond only to be met by disappointment, so I quickly typed in my reply before placing the phone under my pillow and closing my eyes.
" That scares me, because I'm afraid you might be right. "
I warned him not to text again after that.
I eventually fell asleep, the memory of his intimate touch glued to my mind. He wasn't even there yet he still affected me as if he was. And before I drifted off completely, my last thought was that if he had actually been there next to me, there were very high chances I can would have done just as he had said.
⭐❄️⭐❄️⭐
It took me till break time to realize he wasn't at school the following day. Then during literature class he hadn't been present, which only confirmed my realization. And I had immediately gotten worried, wondering why he wasn't in school for the second day in a row. And why he hadn't told me that he wasn't going to be around. So after class the first thing I had done was call him, but he didn't pick up. His phone was off for some reason. I pondered on all the possible explanations,the first one being that maybe he was sick. But he hadn't sounded sick when we had spoken not too long ago, so I eliminated that. Then I thought back to how he had been the last time I saw him, someone who didn't know him well would have assumed he was fine but I had been able to tell the difference.
I sent him a couple of texts for when he switched his phone back on. Asking him whether he was okay and why he wasn't at school. But then at lunch time,while I was seated with Max,Kira and one of Kira's friends named Tina, I heard the two as they talked about his absence. And it wasn't just from school. Apparently, Tina's friend from Biology class had overhead her boyfriend tell his cousin that Austin was "missing"...or something like that. The mains source of the information was Miles. He had told someone that Austin's dad had gone by their house to ask whether he was there. And he had looked genuinely concerned, as if he really had no clue where his own son was. The information got all my attention, and it increased my worry a thousand times over. I excused myself from the group, taking my things and walking out of the cafeteria. Then I had tried calling him again, but he still didn't pick up.
I waited till it went to voicemail before leaving him a message.
He couldn't just do things like that. And why the hell was his phone switched off? I had secretly sensed and known that something was off all along, but actually having it confirmed was different. He had changed so much. The Austin I had known would never have done something as unthoughtful as running away from home. Because I was sure that was what he has done. Although I still didn't get why he would do such a thing.
My main concern was knowing whether he was okay and when he was planning on coming back. He might have thought he was old enough to take care of himself but that wasn't true. And it was no excuse for him to run off like that without telling anyone.
Without telling me.
He should have said something. And because of him, I was hardly able to concentrate on your remaining classes. Miles and I were the only people he talked to at school, so there was no one else to ask about his possible whereabouts. And after school, Miles himself had approached me to ask if I knew where he was.
" I told his dad I'd keep texting and calling him till he picked up, but apparently he doesn't even have his phone whit him, " Miles had told me.
" I'm guessing you also have no clue where he could be?"
I shook my head, looking past Miles to the 'entitled' kids he normally associated with. They were waiting for him a few feet away.
" I assumed you'd know, since you two are..I mean...you two, "
I raised my brows at him. I was well aware of what he planned on saying, and it made me highly uncomfortable to just stand there and listen to his implication. Despite there being some truth to it.
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