I want so badly to fall in love before I turn 20. I want to experience that teenage love that everyone talks about. I don't care if I get hurt along the way. I just want to be able to feel that kind of affection. The feeling of being adored by someone, being taken care of. That sensation that you know someone has your back and you call that someone your own. Someone who would caress my cheeks and tell me everything's gonna be okay when things are falling apart. Someone who would listen to my rants, and get mesmerized by my laughter. Someone I can call when life feels heavy and someone who'd just love everything about me. Is it impossible? Or am I just too hard to love?
It sucks to yearn for what I've stated above when you know for yourself that you are the problem. It sucks to be aware of how imperfect I am, but it's kinda freeing tho.
Allow me to introduce myself, I am Zace Shayanna Maurelle Yutzon Vergara, and my life is as complicated & as unique as my name.
Growing up in a household full of chaos and shouting. My innocent little heart still yearned for a prince fucking charming despite the situation of my parents. The daily argument that my mind cannot seem to comprehend back then. Gosh, Disney indeed fucked me up as a kid.
Okay, whatever. Today is just another day. I still have not slept yet but I have no plans on doing that because I have my GEMATH class at 7: 30 AM (online). I'm currently a freshman student. Took a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration Major in Marketing Management because it sounded cool.
It's still 5:46 in the morning, so I went out with my phone and headphones of course to have a quick walk and buy bread. The dark skies and the peacefulness of the environment make me want to be a morning person but that shit seems impossible coz girl, I'm a call center agent.
Life may be hard but good thing I have my iced coffee caramel with me. I opened my TikTok account to listen to it and daydream about the life that I know I could never have if I choose not to move. It's either I go after the life I want or settle for the life I have or I can just die, right? Why make things difficult?
Ok? So it's time for school. Mathematics is just another bitch I have to deal with so after the moment I say that I am present in this class and after I answer the quizzes that are multiple choices, I'm gonna sleep coz we're all gonna die anyway and none of these things will matter at the end of the day. BOOM rhyme!
So the usual plan of falling asleep did not happen obviously because my Oxford Comma Crush just said "present, ma'am" with his usual husky fucking bedroom voice. I'm giving this dude the right to ruin even more my fucked up life. Babe, I won't even complain.
My phone beeped and there, I saw Amanda's message on Instagram muttering the same thoughts I had just now.
amandailee_
C'MON FUCK OUR LIVES UP, RAFAEL!
I laughed and rolled my eyes with a smirk on my face.
Yes! We share the same crush but it was never a big deal between the two of us coz we both knew that Rafael (our babe) is a nonchalant, heartless dude who doesn't give a damn about us or any other girl who's obsessed with him. Who hurt you, love? I don't mind being a rebound and you using me to forget coz bitch it's even such a privilege to be seen by you.
I laughed at how crazy my imagination went.
iamaurelle_
FR FR! ISTG! NO CAP!
amandailee_
we don't mind a threesome, daddzyyyy!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
iamaurelle_
ugh pls. bite us!
We never listened to whatever the prof was saying until she finally said it's time for a break. Thank good heavens!