Chapter 23: Mother of Exiles
POV Switch - 1st (MC)
It's a shame.
It's a shame that the better man lost. I will grow stronger, and show this 'Kirito' his true worthlessness. He is not half the man that I am. No wonder they call beta testers cheaters, there is no way that the scrawny runt could have beaten me in a fair fight.
But for now, I can't avenge myself immediately. I must find a weapon, first. That shouldn't be difficult, I'm sure there's a few villages and towns nearby where I could find stores. After the recent quests, affording a weapon shouldn't be difficult.
In fact, I could even get a new spear and sword, although it would be difficult to get a sword that was as good as Reginald's... And that was stolen from me. A Jap has no business wielding the sword of a chivalrous knight, it should properly belong to a noble man of superior blood like me. Japs have no sense of self-respect or honour, all they know is perverted anime.
Ichiei Ishibumi is the Shakespeare of Japan, the artist who gives most clear expression to the Japanese spirit.
Now, my first priority should be to find a village or town so that I can purchase weaponry. But the wilderness around me runs for miles, with bright green bushes springing up like geysers and trees covered in green vines. There have been a few wild encounters, such as boars, but nothing too challenging yet. I will need a way to see past all the thick greenery, to find a suitable place to go.
Fortunately, there's a small hill which I crossed a few minutes ago. It should serve as a suitable vantage point, since this area is mostly quite flat.
As I'm tracking back, I get distracted by some idiot yelling in the chatroom:
===
Eternal: HEY EVERYONE I JUST FOUND A GREAT BOOK!
Eternal: I THINK IT'S THE BEST BOOK EVER!
Eternal: NO POISON! THE PROTAGONIST HAS NO COMPASSION AND TREATS OTHERS LIKE ANTS!
DaoOfEternity: Yeah, the book is called: Me telling you to shut up, insect.
Hegemaniac: Is the book Chinese?
Eternal: YES
Hegemaniac: Was it censored by the great Communist Party of China?
Eternal: YES IT IS 404 BECAUSE THEY SAID IT IS BAD CONTENT
Eternal: *DILATES*
Hegemaniac: Then it is bad. The Party is the righteous guide and protector of China, and I bow to its wisdom and discernment.
===
After that, he seemingly stopped talking. I'd like to think that he was chastened by the obvious wisdom of my statement.
The hill's incline isn't steep, so it's easy to climb. A rock lay on top of it, which I hoisted myself on top of so that I could sit down and scan the area around it.
Pleasantly, there are two villages nearby. Quite modest places, to be honest, and one of them is just a group of ramshackle buildings made of logs. I doubt that there's many people there, it looks like the buildings are on the edge of falling apart and most also don't seem inhabited. Both villages seem to have the usual array of stores, however, including stores for armour and weaponry.
Why is it that, in games like this, even an average farming village will have a well-developed weaponry? Who's going to use it, the farmers? And why would their lords and kings allow them access to such weapons? It's a lot easier to keep the peasantry down when they're only armed with pitchforks and flails.
Although I might not seem like a sympathetic person, I have a lot of sympathy for the plight of the medieval European peasantry. The unfortunate men were forced to perform the kind of drudgery that is properly reserved for black slaves. It is because the benign, humanitarian institution of slavery was not yet developed enough to spare free, honourable men the degrading tasks which are truly beneath them.
When the Americans considered foolishly abolishing slavery, they should have thought of the way that it uplifted the peasants into free men. If only they were a truly civilized people, capable of understanding the tenets of Mao Zedong Thought, they would have instantly ceded the issue to the Confederacy and prevented a shameful civil war.
Regardless of the strangeness of these villages all having weapon stores, I will go towards the village which is in better shape, and see if I can find an acceptable weapon. Once that is done, I can go on quests until I get a better one.
After taking a couple of minutes to memorize the landscape, so that I can easily find my way to either of the villages, I set off. A small rodent tries attacking me, for some reason, but it dies when I step on it.
When I get my revenge on Kirito, he will die even more pathetically than this rat.
He will die like a Jap should, in a nuclear blast.
Such shall be the force of my vengeance.
The village is quiet, and the buildings are made of a mixture of wooden planks and logs. The weapon store looks like a spacious log cabin, but I can glimpse through the window that there's a row of swords hung up on each wall, glowing in the light of a large hearth.
Promising.
As I walked closer, a man emerged from behind the log cabin, wearing a strangely elaborate white-and-red cloak. How strange.
Perhaps it's a Guild dress? It looks awfully effeminate, so perhaps it is part of some sort of crossdressing Guild? But he's only level 14, I doubt he'll try to attack me. I will leave him in peace for now, since I have no sword, and he will probably do the same for me.
Weirdly, as soon as he saw me, he started yelling. Sometimes it's not easy being the focus of attention everywhere you go.
"There's the guy! The Hegemaniac! Everyone, attack!"
There's a loud noise from around the village, probably people scrambling out to attack me.
I ran back into the woods. I know the path to the other village, so I can just run in a curve towards there.
Most of his Guildmates didn't see the direction I ran towards, so they just followed after him. However, he's wearing armour, and his Agility is much lower than mine, so he soon lost track of me among the trees.
Were they keeping a look-out for me? Then they might be in the other village, too.
But I could easily kill them all, if I had a weapon. However, trying to do it without a weapon is unsafe, and I'd probably end up getting swarmed and killed. They would just have to surround me and stay at a distance, slicing me up and stabbing me with their weapons.
It's generally safer to not be in range of many swords.
I will come back and kill them, if I can find a decent sword.
The other village has hardly anyone in it, and it seems quiet. However, it's best to be certain.
I climbed a tree nearby, to get a better look. There seem to be a few players, also wearing red-white dress, skulking in the corners of the village. So this village is also unsafe. Nice to know.
There's the sound of a commotion in the direction of the other village, where I was spotted before. In all likelihood, now that I've been seen, they'll scour the area and try to hunt me down. That means that I should go elsewhere.
But where would I be able to find a weapon?
If I could just find a weak, low-level player and kill him, I could steal his weapons easily. It would just take a couple of blows. These Guild players hunt in packs, and none of them are that low in level, so it's best to steer clear of them. But maybe I could find better victims if I went closer to the town where most players are? All of the low-level players would be doing quests there.
...However, I'm not sure what the directions would be from here. I've just been running blind for a while.
So I'll just have to keep going on. There's a small woods up ahead, and I'll go there and see where it takes me.
POV Switch - Yui (1st)
The villain escaped again...
But this time, he lost. He nearly died! See? My plan nearly worked, even though I didn't have my powers!
Now, where is he heading? Ah, the small woods there. It's actually bordered by rivers on two sides, so he'd only have two exits... Or one. He can't double back, with players looking for him, so he'd have to take the only remaining exit. It would be so easy to trap him!
If the other players weren't so busy with the cave quest right now, I'd send them all here. I think that Kirito is likely to complete that first, which is good, since it'll get him closer to Hegemaniac...
In fact, the longer that Hegemaniac is left wandering around like this, unable to do serious quests, the more easily other players will catch up to him.
What if Kirito was the same level as him? I doubt Hegemaniac would even have a chance, right?
For now, though, what can I do to interrupt him? I think there's an NPC in that woods, but he won't get a weapon there. I should figure out some way to blockade the exit. Due to the Fallen God, I currently can't just create a strong boss or mob there, since I'd have to seek approval. However, there is a quest nearby involving a sandstorm, and having to pick up a gem in order to quell that...
I could just place the quest-giver somewhere that he won't find it, like in a faraway tree. Then he'd have to dare the sandstorm to escape!
Excellent, let's see what I'd have to do...
Just then, a nerdy, creepy-looking, bespectacled blond man walks in. His back is slightly hunched, and he almost looks like he's drooling.
"H-hi there," he stutters. "I was impressed by your, um, br- the way you got Hegemaniac to lose. Even Xing was sh-shocked. You're so cool!"
"Um, thanks," I say, with a careful, polite Japanese accent. "Who are you?"
Although I don't like the look of this guy, he's one of the only people in here still acting friendly.
"I'm the h-head of the Norwegian s-servers."
"Norwegian servers? I didn't know we had those, but that sounds nice." I sit back against a wall, relaxed. At least he's another server admin, and won't try to wrest land from me like Xing.
Say, he seems to fancy me. I wonder if I could coax him into giving some of his land to me? Or, if he's too far away, at least some sort of tribute?
"No, w-wait, I meant the, um, Nauruan servers."
"Oh. Nauru? But is there even anyone there?"
"Well, t-two people, actually, four... N-no more than that, it's lonely. That's why I keep w-watching your vag- your server, I mean."
I giggle and walk up to him. He's shivering nervously, which makes me feel better about myself.
"Alright, that makes sense. How did you figure out my scheme?"
"I-it was obvious, everyone kept t-trying to stop you, but you'd keep going! It's because y-you're a strong women. I admire you!"
"Um, thanks... I guess."
"D-don't worry, I won't tell anyone! Actually, I will. I'll tell them all! Unless you take me on a quick date."
He is suddenly more aggressive, and might actually be drooling.
While I'm sure that Xing and the others have suspicions that I set up the fight between Kirito and Hegemaniac, they haven't yet brought up any clear complaint. After all, setting up a situation which led to an exciting fight isn't such a bad thing, and we're supposed to do it sometimes. But they were expecting Hegemaniac to win, and are more surprised than angry.
Still, this guy has clearly been poring over my server for a while, and could probably show all sorts of evidence that I was trying to mess with Hegemaniac. And now I'm going to start a sandstorm, which would also look suspicious. It's best to avoid scrutiny for now...
That said, I'd prefer to avoid a degrading date like this.
"Are you sure? That's a bit fast, shouldn't we get to know each other first?" I try.
"No! I am a-adamant! Y-you're coming with me, sonnie! Stick 'em up!"
He seems to have lapsed into some sort of delirium, and continues ranting.
"I've g-got your number, y-ou're afraid of the Fallen God finding out a-about your w-wicked schemes! That means you have to go with me!"
"Fine, fine..." I reply, trying to calm him down. "When should we go? Maybe tomorrow?"
"How about... In ten minutes? Hahahahaha!"
I sigh. This guy isn't even half of what I deserve. I deserve a handsome Chad from America, who loves me because he is a weeb and knows the value of Japanese women. That has always been my dream.
"Alright, fine. I'll go with you to the... Actually, where do we go on a date here? I guess we can try the small artificial garden nearby?"
"Hahahaha, I knew you were a romantic sort! Hahahaha!" he says, and storms out.
He then peeps back in, saying, "Ten minutes! I have my watch out! I'm timing you! You'd better be there in ten minutes, or you're toast! Hahahaha! On your knees and behold the might of the master!"
Soon, he's gone again, and I am left to despair.
Oh well, it'll be quick, right? It should be okay.
POV Switch - 1st (MC)
There's a grizzled old man here, wearing what looks like a cowboy hat. Another NPC.
Maybe he'll have a quest? Or some sort of weapon for me?
"Howdy, lad," he said. "I might look like a cowboy, but that ain't right. I'm an economist. I've got a doctorate in Reaganomics!"
"I see... And how does that help you in these woods?"
"Well, y'know, I think back to the Statue o' Liberty. And I see her there, in the sky." He points into an empty patch of sky. "She's, y'know, the Mother of Exiles. So even though I'm exiled here, far from Truth, Justice, and the American Way, I know that Lady Liberty's still watching for me over the shores. There's no stoppin' American grit, even in some hellhole in Iraq, they gonna get some taste of American grit from our boys. Even if we're in a foreign land, we gotta show everyone the American spirit, the spirit of liberty."
"What about in Vietnam?"
I am quite familiar with the War in Vietnam, since it was a favourite subject of my anti-American, patriotic uncle, who told all sorts of tales about it. It is a pity that he died a few years ago, and even more a pity that I am stuck here talking to an American.
"I fought in Nam, y'know. It was a war, a war against the commies, the pinkos. Did you hear, the commies unleashed their secret, hi-tech weapon, air-borne bug missiles? They tried to make us eat the bugs! No doubt the idea came straight from the Kremlin. Well, we bravely said no sirree, and came back home. Ain't no use wastin' our time freeing those filthy Vietnamese, y'know? But our greatest President, Reagan, he showed the commies, he said, 'You boys gonna use air-borne bug weapons? Then we'll use weaponized space insects!' That showed 'em, eh? That showed the Russkies who's boss. AMERICA!"
"But didn't America become perverted into something diametrically opposed to your conservative values?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's what they think, the pinkos. They think America's gonna give up without a fight. But there's no holding back the American spirit! The South shall rise again! Let's see how they deal with an army of rough, conservative Texans armed to the teeth, eh? The boys in California think they got it made, they just gotta overthrow the Electoral College and then vote in whoever they want. But they won't be that sprightly when Florida Man nukes the lot of 'em. Mark my words, there gonna be a civil war like nothin' you ever seen before. What war could be more important than the war for America? We're gonna fight them with AR-15s, we're gonna fight them with Bradleys, we're gonna fight them with nukes... They gotta learn, ain't nothing funny about Truth, Justice, and the American Way."
"Of course not. By the way, what's the way out of here? Do you have any maps or anything?"
"All I know is, this ain't America!"
He wasn't going to be helpful for directions, I guess. Maybe he'd have a quest of some sort?
"Alright. Tell you what, is there anything you'd like me to do?"
"Yeah, drop down and give me 50!"
"Is there any reward?"
"No, it's an order! But, to be honest, you probably never served in the Marines. You got slant eyes, you got no American pride, you ain't even worthy of giving 50. Tell you what, stay on your feet, and try this." He pointed into the distance. "There's a small cave down there, in the hillside. There's a wee little beasty in there, nasty critter, a black panther. He has teeth and is a savage kinda guy, likes to be a nuisance out here. So my plan is, we're gonna build a wall!"
He stood to the side, revealing a massive pile of bricks behind him.
"So here's your quest. You're gonna walk up to that cave, and build a wall! A big, beautiful wall. It'll stand there between the rivers, and they'll chatter, they'll say, 'Man, what a great landscape, what pure, ancient rivers, but you know what's most impressive about it? That wall. That wall, man, I haven't seen anything like it.' And that pesky black critter, he ain't gonna trouble us any more. We're gonna show this place the power of true, Texan law and order, a utopia with no crime, a land uncorrupted by the original sin of liberal fascism, a land where every human, bird, and bat lives and dies by the word of the constitution."
"Isn't it a bit risky to build a wall right in front of a cave where the panther lives? Wouldn't it notice?"
"That's what America's all about! Takin' risks, pulling yourself up by the bootstraps... Y'know, there's a lot that's been said, a lot being said, about the American dream. Some people are sayin', well, it's a dream 'cause you gotta be asleep to believe it! But no, the American dream is the bedrock of our country, it's why we're a Land of Opportunity that even wetbacks try to enter in droves. The doubters, they ain't ever gonna attain the American Dream, 'cause you can't dream when you're a doubting sort. You just gotta believe! That's the American spirit."
"But -"
"No buts, boy! You ever feel doubt, just think of our anthem, the Star-Spangled Banner. Come on, do it, boy! It's your duty to America!"
I sighed. The quest details showed up, but there was no weapon as a reward. However, the EXP on offer was quite good, and I would get some steel parts which could be forged into a strong weapon by a blacksmith. Best of all, there was a local map as a reward if I completed the quest. Since there weren't many other quests that I could do without a weapon, I might as well try my luck with this, and if it doesn't work then I'll just move on to the next area. The space beyond these woods looks a bit sandy and desert-like, and might be hostile. Since I can't enter any of the villages here, at the least I should figure out my way through this desert before entering.
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