Chapter 7: Budding Diplomata.
After we finished gorging ourselves to our heart's content, Shuaiqi came in to see the scraps of our... session.
"did a pack of wild dogs come here?!" he asked in genuine shock.
"oh, brother dearest? Did you come here to seduce my wife and steal her from me?" I asked. "or were you perhaps planning on bumping into her and slowly making your way into her heart? Cuckolding me, maybe? Either way, I don't mind. You can have her. I honestly don't care," I said as I waved my hand, as if shooing away some flies.
"how disgusting? I have no interest in the princess, nor your plots against her. Though, if possible, would you care to share the new servant you brought in? I heard she was a real beauty."
... excuse me? Shuaiqi, my friend... no matter how beautiful a pig may be, a king would never marry it. Why? First of all, it's a pig. Second of all, it's not the king's choice on whom he marries.
"Shuaiqi... no matter how beautiful a pig is, a person will never marry it. Especially if the person is of a high standing, like you. Besides, don't want to find your nonexistent fantasy of an angelic wife and live happily in the countryside with twins, one boy, one girl?"
"brother... did you read my diary?"
Granny started snickering, and the high commander just looked at me.
"I always told you that diaries were a waste of paper and ink. I also remember saying it is leaving evidence of your embarrassing moments. Isn't that right, strong daddy swordsman."
Granny broke into a laughter, and the high commander ushered her out of the room. Meanwhile, Shuaiqi was blushing like a little girl.
"anyways, Shuaiqi. You should know I aim to be a big-time mafia boss, in the future. I cannot bring myself to commit crime, knowing my brother leaves behind evidence of crime. Who knows if one day, police investigate your diary and see this: 'my brother is a big-time mafia boss and he's done all this stuff [organized list of all my crimes].'."
He whimpered.
Shuaiqi, my poor brother. What has become of you? Wait, no. I went through a time in life just like this, did I not?
Yes, yes I did. I remember it is being called 'puberty' by the teachers at school?
By now, the high commander came back into the room, only to hear my speech.
"don't worry, brother. You are simply going through an awkward phase in your life. Father wishes to protect your innocence, so he has not told you, but right now, you are at an age where you might look at that whore-spawn of a bastard whose name I had forgotten (but is definitely female), and fall in love with her! My teacher's words exactly."
Well, maybe some of mine, too.
"f-father?" he said with tears in his eyes. "is this true?"
Unable to refute my statement, father simply avoided Shuaiqi's gaze."
"Pangzi. I plan on sending you to the west, as an emissary from our lands."
"no can do. I don't know shit about diplomacy."
"which is why this mission is due in a year. I expect you to become a well learned diplomat within that year, instead of killing your half-brothers/sisters. Also, if you fail, be prepared to go six feet under."
"what choice do I have? I'll be sure to tell the west how much of a brute your are."
"also, you have to learn the language of the west, at the very least. You're smart enough to figure out what to do, even if you don't learn proper diplomacy. I have also stocked the entire 'diplomacy for dogs' and 'diplomacy for learned dogs' and 'diplomacy' series. In a week, I expect the 'western language for dogs' to come as well. After a month or so, the other two will come. Anyways, enjoy your life."
"bastard."
"I forgot, but the 'diplomacy for humans' will arrive tomorrow."
"dearest father, have I ever told you how much I love you?"
"thank you, son. The 'diplomacy for learned humans' will come in a month."
"... it's getting quite hard to love you, father."
"that is fine with me, son."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
CatHam
CatHam If you think about it, the Shensheng empire is like a flat earth, and the Jianbukecui is the 'ice wall'. Except the real planet is significantly bigger than earth. Also, off topic, but about the Shensheng empire. The West isn't completely desert and everything else isn't green and whatnot. It's just that the west is mostly deserts and the east is mostly plains. It's what they are best known for. So don't go imagining an invisible wall blocking different kinds of land from the capital in the middle. And it funny how what was 'not off topic' was actually of topic, so what was actually on topic had to be off topic? I doubt u'd get that tho.
Chapter 8: Prestigious Prestige.
Cheng Academy: it is a prestigious school for prestigious children of prestigious people of prestigious houses. It was a school of prestige; last year, a commoner dared to enter the school.
He only came in thanks to some luck and a 'scholarship' program the school recently started.
Today, we go to our protagonist, Jia Pangzi.
Last night, this cruel bastard hired some of that scholarship student's 'friends' to send him off to a brothel. Of course, he would be drugged prior to their visit. Then, he had some disease ridden prostitute service the scholarship student.
"JIA PANGZI!" came a deafening scream.
"what do you want, senile fool?" asked 'Jia Pangzi'. "and before you tell me to stay awake in class, shouldn't you make sure you teach something that doesn't put me to sleep in the first place."
"kh—
"just look at that moldy Bean over there." he said, pointing at the scholarship student. "even he's sleeping, but he's the best in the generation with money."
"but this isn't finance?"
"well at least the other teachers can stop us from falling asleep."
"JIA PANG... zi... today is the last time I TAKE A BEATING FROM YOU! I QUIT! Have a great life! Fuck you! Go die!"
What an accomplishment. I made a teacher quit his job. Honestly, now that I think about it, I barely did anything, and I even took two years to get this far... I feel like a failure...
Even my other scheme seems to have failed? That whore definitely had a grade 3 disease. Unless the scholarship student is a monster, like brother blonde, he couldn't possibly have gotten out, unharmed.
We continued classes, like usual. Everyone seemed completely unbothered and unfazed by the fact that I made someone at the level of an imperial scholar quit job, and give up his civil servant's salary.
Just shows how spoilt these prestigious brats are. Not even imperial scholars seem to matter, in their eyes.
The subjects we learnt were the same as any other school for nobles. The only difference was the difficulty in subjects. You'd expect our school to have harder subjects and higher standards, but a 'genius' full 'A' report student only has intermediate mastery over the five compulsory etiquettes. The five compulsory etiquettes are horse riding, calligraphy, mathematics, dancing, and music. At least a basic proficiency was needed to be considered successful.
As an extra subject for overachievers and people who want brownie points, the option of war, diplomacy, government and economy was there, but it was usually the poorer or richer nobles, among those that can afford the school fees, that went for these subjects. There are also other subjects like archery, hand-to-hand combat and swordsmanship, as well as swimming; etc...
Pangzi, despite being on the richer side only took the mandatory five subjects, but achieved a master level proficiency in horse riding and mathematics, and an advanced level proficiency in calligraphy. As for music and dancing, he sucked at it.
Not because he didn't bother, but because he was talentless when it came to that aspect of etiquette. Of course, he still achieved the bare minimum of basic level proficiency in those two subjects.
Each class was around an hour long, so the people taking the extra subjects had to wait longer than everyone else. Meaning if you want friends, don't take extra subjects. Pangzi chose the friend route; he had no friends, even after two years of perfect attendance.
The last subject for Pangzi was mathematics. It was his favorite subject. Not because he had a master level proficiency in it, but because it was the one thing he was naturally talented at, and better than everyone else at.
The horse riding 'talent' was only due to his father's training. And if he were to take swordsmanship as an extra subject, he would undoubtedly have a master level proficiency in it. It would also be the same with archery and hand-to-hand combat, as well as other martial art variants.
It was the final subject, and as usual, nothing interesting happened. As always, the teacher explained everything very slowly, and took what felt to be decades in discussing simple answers. It was a problem with his peers, he knew; he tried to ignore it.
At the end, after the teacher left, someone started talking very loudly.
"Da Xiong Qian, look what you've done!"
.
.
.
"DA XIONG QIAN, YOU PERVERT!" screamed the same person.
The Da Xiong Qian person seemed to be staring at that woman's chest. I guess he really is a pervert.
"hit me more, my Goddess." he said, in an odd tone.
Yeah... a very big pervert, indeed. Sometimes I wonder what kind of family raises mutts like... wait, isn't that... ah, so it's just the scholarship student. No wonder, haha.
"hey, bitch. I'm tired right now, so can you stop hitting me? Come back later when I can tolerate you again." he said coldly.
Well, things are going fast, is all I'm gonna say, but... maybe he isn't that bad? If anything, I'm quite intrigued, myself.
"wh-what? Da Xiong Wian, are y-you ok-okay?"
*clapping*
"absolutely beautiful. Da Xiong Qian, was your name? Come with my to my family mansion. I will treat you with a lot of love~" I said in a half-seductive way, as I walked closer to him.
"yes, my handsome God! I will follow you to the ends of the world!" he said, immediately standing up.
He stared at me for a long time, as if he were thinking deep about something.
"oh, sorry, handsome brother God. I just realized, you look like Jia Pangzi. And anyone who looks like that will haunt me forever, y'know? If you want, we can go get some stinky tofu and bother my neighbours?"
I sighed very loudly: "ok, sure. Let's go, spineless bastard."
"a nickname? I've never gotten one before... what characters do you use and what does it mean? By the way, I'll call you smart and handsome brother, okay? It uses the characters for satoshi, bright, smart and gas. It suits you very well, doesn't it?"
"yes, but what is this satoshi?" I asked, annoyed.
"oh, I don't know. Ask someone who knows." he said, shrugging his shoulders.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS
CatHam
CatHam
I'll be erasing the other's POVs. Of course, if you saw the chapter before I changed it, you'll know what Da Xiong Qian is. A pretty cliché approach, I guess, but it relates to what great venerable Hao said.
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