Chapter 37
"So we waited out the storm inside one of the abandoned houses," Baz finishes the story with that, falling silent again.
It feels as if various details have been left out, the narrative jumbled in places and rushed. While the sequence of events was easy to follow, it was clear parts were missing.
In the end, it was Baz and not Valentine who had ended up recounting most of the events of what had happened. Every once in a while, Valentine had given some input, but she had let Baz do most of the talking at first. It wasn't until the last part that she had spoken up. Between broken sentences, she had told them about the oppressive presence of the cloud, about the evil energy coming from it. Baz had stayed quiet the whole time, not wanting to tell his side of the story. When Valentine had finished (she too had left out parts), Baz refused to elaborate more.
"So…" Aster says, trying to fill in the silence that had followed.
"So?" Baz repeats. "You know the rest of what happened."
"Hmph. Hardly," Aster mutters.
Baz must have definitely heard xeir comment, yet he doesn't give it any acknowledgement. Odd. For Baz not to respond to a comment like that… Something must be truly bothering him.
Baz could be surprisingly tight-lipped with matters he didn't want to talk about. Usually, he was only looking for an excuse to talk about anything, even the most trivial occurrence that had happened in his vicinity. But every now and then, he would grow weirdly evasive, avoiding all personal topics like the plague. It wasn't that he became gloomy or would start sulking, in fact, he would remain pretty much as always, and if it wasn't because Kit knew him that well, he wouldn't notice any changes in Baz.
When this happened, Kit would just let this mood run its natural course, and in time, Baz would be back to his usual self. He did not want to pry, feeling it was not his place and would only make Baz uncomfortable. Aster, on the other hand, would keep pressuring him until he told xem what was wrong. But one way or the other, Baz would always return to normal. This time, however, Kit didn't know if Baz would be going back to normal. This time, the change was noticeable to even an outsider.
Just how troubled was Baz feeling?
Aster seems to notice this too, and sighs. "But I suppose that's the best we'll be getting out of you for now." Xe gets up and stretches. "It's about time we go check up on things at the office anyways. We'll probably have a lot of work to do."
Ah… that's right, Kit thinks. After everything that had happened yesterday, dealing with the aftermath would be a whole mess. Even if they weren't the ones that would have to deal with it directly, that was the Director's job, there was no doubt there would still be a million other things that had to be done.
(At least dealing with the public panic was not in the list of things they would have to worry about. That was a problem for the local authorities.)
Already dreading what would come, Kit and Baz share a look. Reluctantly, they follow Aster.
"Ah, Valentine," Baz turns to look at her, who is sitting on the couch and still looking a little pale, "why don't you stay here today? You're okay staying on your own, right?" She nods. "Good. So what do you say?"
Valentine looks towards Aster for permission.
Xe shrugs, "Unless you would rather stay somewhere else, I don't have any problems."
Baz stays behind talking a bit more with Valentine, and Kit and Aster head to the door.
Waiting for Baz to catch up to them, "Do you think they'll be okay?" Kit whispers to Aster when he's sure they're out of hearing reach from the two of them.
Unexpectedly, Aster doesn't answer right away. Xe glances back at them, biting xeir fingernails. "I don't know…" xe says. "I hope so." The 'but' remains unsaid.
Kit hopes so too. He can't help the feeling of helplessness that overcomes him. He wasn't able to do anything. Not now, not before. He can't do anything to stop the inevitable; the demon and everything that has happened is out of his control, he knows that. But he can't even manage to cough up some semblance of comfort. All the times Baz had comforted him, even when it hadn't been on purpose, just seeing Baz direct a smile at him would be like a soothing balm on his wounds. And yet, now, when there was an opportunity for it, Kit couldn't bring himself to return the favour.
There was nothing else he wanted to do more, but he found himself paralyzed. It was not so much that the thought of it scared him, but that he didn't know how to. His feelings were a mess; he couldn't even reassure himself, so how was he supposed to do the same for another person? But worse, what if they didn't want his sympathy?
Rejection? He wouldn't know how to handle that.
The reasonable part of him knows Baz would never be purposefully mean, but the small possibility of it lingered in the back of his mind. Better to not do anything; not to go out of his way. It just wasn't something he was meant to do. So like always, he would simply make sure to be there, if not as a shoulder to lean on, but as someone who would not abandon them.
"–okay?" Aster taps him on the shoulder. Too late, Kit realises xe had been talking to him and he hadn't noticed. And now Aster is looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. But when Aster notices his blank stare, xe asks, "Did you listen to anything I said?"
Kit shakes his head to clear it. "Sorry," he says meekly.
"Never mind. I just asked if you were okay."
"Me?" His brain does a double take.
Aster rolls xeir eyes. "Yes. You."
"Well, I…" Is he okay? Should he even be feeling okay under these circumstances? Wouldn't it be more worrisome if he said yes? "I mean, as okay as anyone can be, I suppose."
Aster hums. "Yeah, you're probably right."
Should Kit ask xem how xe's feeling? Somehow, he thinks Aster wouldn't respond to that too kindly. But then again… Aster hasn't been acting all that much like xeir usual self. Before he's able to make up his mind, Baz walks up behind them.
"What are we talking about?" Baz whispers, startling them both. They turn around to face him, finding him grinning.
Aster glares at him. "Don't sneak up on me like that. I'm still mad at you, by the way."
"Aw, I was just joking around. Don't be like that."
Aster gives an exasperated huff, "Shut up." Ignoring Baz's subsequent protests, xe opens the door, stepping out of the apartment, with Baz and Kit following.
But the scene outside makes the three of them stop dead in their tracks.
"What the…" Kit hears Baz mutter under his breath.
Am I dreaming? Kit wonders; the scene before him is so surreal it should only be possible in a dream.
The world has been covered by a thick, dense fog, making it impossible to see more than a few centimetres ahead. Even though at first glance it looks like normal fog, when one comes into contact with it, it stings like inhaling smoke would.
How long has it been like this?
"Aster…" Baz says, "shouldn't we…" He trails off, but the meaning is clear. 'Shouldn't they stay inside?' For all they know (which is basically nothing; god knows where this fog came from), this fog could be toxic and end up killing them.
Aster's brow twitches. "No."
Baz tries to change xeir mind, "But–"
"I refuse to be bested by some fucking fog," xe says, but xeir voice comes out a bit hoarse. But after saying this, xe really took off, not bothering to look back if Baz or Kit were following.
Sharing a panicked look, Baz and Kit run after xem, trying to catch up as fast as possible while avoiding tripping down the stairs and breaking their necks.
When they reach the land floor, the fog has become thicker and denser. It almost feels like wading through something from how dense it is. Kit's eyes fill with tears, his eyes, throat and nose burning with the acrid, metallic smell that the fog carries. He covers the lower half of his face with his sleeve, but it does little to block out the fog. The more he stands outside, the more his throat burns, and soon he starts coughing, his body trying to relieve itself of the discomfort somehow; his lungs trying to expel the offending substance from them. His chest starts to ache after a few more minutes, the coughing non-stop even if he is trying to hide it. If he stays out in this fog like this for much longer, his lungs would pay the price for it. From his constant illnesses as a child, his respiratory system had been permanently weakened, and now, he found it harder and harder to breathe. Neither Aster nor Baz are struggling as much as him. In fact, they seem perfectly fine, perhaps only mildly irritated in Aster's case.
The more they walk, the worse it is, and with how fast they're going, it leaves him even more out of breath. The lack of oxygen is making him start to feel lightheaded.
Dizzy as he is, he doesn't notice the crack in the sidewalk, and his foot catches on it, making him stumble. The ground rushes up to meet him alarmingly fast. But just before he hits the pavement, something stops his momentum.
Well, more accurately, someone stops him from falling down.
"Careful there," Baz says in a low voice. "Can't have you getting hurt now." They're so close, that when he speaks, his warm breath tickles the back of Kit's neck, making him shudder.
Kit's heart is beating so loudly it feels like it will burst right out of his chest. Being this close to Baz, he can feel the warmth rolling off his body even through the layer of clothes they're wearing. Already feeling faint from before, right now, he can't even think straight and his legs feel unsteady beneath him. (In a way, he feels grateful that Baz still hasn't let him go; otherwise, he would simply fall back down.)
"You alright?" Baz asks him.
This close, Kit can see flecks of green in his grey eyes. Funny, all this time he had thought Baz's eyes were just plain grey. Could it be… this was the closest Kit had ever been to Baz? Like this, one could almost think… No. It couldn't possibly be like that. Not between them. Still, the mere thought of it makes Kit's head spin, and his heart thumps in his chest even louder (if such a thing is even possible.) He watches, as in a trance, how Baz's lips move. Baz has said something to Kit, but the words haven't registered in his brain. He wants to think it's the fog messing with his head and making his whole body feel weak. Baz's lips start moving again; he's asking Kit something. Kit shakes himself out of his daze.
"Hey, Kit?" Baz is looking at him with concern, the spot between his brows creased a bit. "Earth to Kit?"
His entire face turning red from embarrassment, Kit realises he had been staring and hadn't answered Baz's question. "Y-yes. I'm fine…" he stammers. "T-thank you."
"You've been spacing out a lot lately." Baz pokes Kit's forehead. Truth be told, it is not so much 'poke', there's almost no force behind the action, but it's more like his fingers just brush against Kit's forehead. "Something on your mind?"
"It's fine." If he were to tell Baz what he had been thinking about… No. He can't do it. If he did, there's no saying how he would react.
"You didn't answer my question." There is no hint of teasing behind his gaze; he truly is earnest.
Seeing him like this, Kit feels something in his stomach twist. He pushes himself away from Baz, "It's fine." He hopes Baz doesn't notice the way his ears have turned a bright red.
Baz opens his mouth, but at that moment, Kit is overcome with a coughing fit. He stumbles backward, almost falling down again. Baz reaches out a hand to steady him, but Kit pulls away. When the coughing fit is finally over, Kit's throat feels raw, and there's a faint metallic taste in his mouth.
"Kit…" Baz reaches out again, but Kit brushes him off.
"It's fine." He takes another step back from Baz.
"Kit…"
"I'm fine." Kit tries to reassure him. "I promise."
Baz purses his lips, obviously not believing Kit, but thankfully, he doesn't press the issue further.
"Let's keep going." Kit turns away from Baz."The Director will be pissed if we don't make it in time." He starts walking, but after only a few steps, he realises he's completely lost. There's no way of telling where they are; the fog is just too dense. And Aster…
Aster has, quite literally, disappeared into the mist.
"Baz…" Kit stops dead in his tracks. Not wanting to walk any further for fear that Baz too might also fade away from his vision. "Do you…"
"No." Baz doesn't know where they are either. "We are, effectively, lost, if that's what you wanted to ask."
"Oh."
Up until now, they had simply been following Aster, trusting xeir sense of direction to guide them. Never, in all the years he's known Aster, has Kit ever doubted xeir ability to find things. Whether they be people, objects, or the way to somewhere. Maybe it's because of xeir affinity to dogs. Or Dog, in xeir case. But without Aster here anymore… They probably won't be able to make their way out of this fog.
Baz seems to realise this too. "Let me call Aster." It takes a good number of tries before Aster picks up the call. "Aster, where are you?" Baz listens to the answer from the other end. "What do you mean you're at the office?!" … "No, no, you– You abandoned us!" … "I'm not being a crybaby about it!" … "How do you expect us to get out of here? And don't say 'just walking'." … For a while, Baz doesn't say anything. Aster must be speaking quite a bit. After a few minutes, "Fine!" Baz throws up his hand in exasperation. "We'll try to make it on our own, but if anything happens to us, it will be all your fault!" Frustrated, he punches the end call button, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. Then, turning to Kit, "Shall we?"
Kit, "..." Was Baz saying he would guide them? It was simply insane. Impossible.
Seeing Kit's blank stare, Baz can't help but tease him, "What? You don't trust me?"
"It's not that I don't trust you…"
"But?"
Kit hesitates whether to tell him the other part. "But your sense of direction…" It definitely wasn't terrible, not like Kit's, which truly was something to cry about, but… it also wasn't excellent. It was, truth be told, somewhere a bit below average.
Baz glares at him. "So you would rather stay here?"
"No…"
"Let's go on then." But when Kit doesn't make any move to follow him, Baz grabs his hand and hauls Kit after him.
For a few seconds, the feeling of Baz's hand around his own is all Kit can think about. Thankfully, Baz is facing away from him and can't see the way Kit's whole face flushes.
"Baz…"
Without turning to look back, "What is it?"
"You…" Kit can feel his cheeks growing warmer. "You don't have to hold my hand…" he finishes in a low voice.
"Ah?" Baz stops, finally looking at their interlocked hands. "...Then you should let go too."
Kit can practically feel the steam coming off his face. Without realising it or meaning to, he had grasped Baz's hand right back. Taking his hand back as if burnt, he lets go of Baz. He turns his gaze to his shoes, too embarrassed to look at Baz.
Right now, Baz's eyes on him feels like someone drilling holes directly into his head. Dying to know Baz's reaction but at the same time dreading it, Kit can't bring himself to look at what type of expression he is wearing. He doesn't think he will ever be able to look Baz in the eyes anymore.
"...But I don't mind if you want to," Baz says after a few moments of awkward silence.
Tentatively, he looks up to see Baz's hand extended towards him in a silent invitation.
"Besides, we don't want you to get lost, hm?"
Slowly, very slowly, as if he were moving underwater, Kit extends his own hand and takes the one offered to him.
The corners of Baz's mouth lift up in the starts of a smile. Without another word, they take off again. This time, the presence of Baz's hand feels more welcome, and the silence between them is a comfortable one. Every once in a while, Kit would cough, and Baz would turn back to check up on him. But other than that, they proceed without any other words spoken between them.
But when they're nearing the commercial district, they hear the sound of cars honking and people shouting. It's like the sounds of a traffic jam.
Odd, Kit thinks. Traffic jams were something inexistent in this town up until today.
When they reach the scene of the commotion, they see one of the main streets packed with cars.
Just what is happening here?
Most people in town, even if they own a car (which is a pretty low percentage) don't even use them to head to work. The town is not big enough to warrant the use of them in it for the most part. That is why, not even during what are normally considered the 'rush hours' will there be this number of cars out and about. The only reason why most people use their cars is to go out of town…
As Kit is thinking this, someone suddenly bumps into him from behind. The impulse makes him knock into Baz, and, for the third time that day, Kit barely manages to stop himself from falling.
Anger written all across his face, Baz turns to confront the person who had almost knocked them over. "Listen here, you—" He stops abruptly when he sees who it is.
"Baz? Kit?" Kat sounds surprised to see them. She had probably been running down the street, and had been unable to stop herself from bumping into the person who was in her way, which just so coincidentally happened to be Kit.
"What are you two…" Kat trails off when she sees Baz's hand holding Kit's own. Embarrassed, Kit lets go and takes his hand back. "..."
"What are you doing?" Baz asks her.
Kat blinks a couple of times. "I, uh…"
"Why are you here?"
"Oh! Right!" She seems to have come back to herself. "I have to go! Sorry!"
"Where?!" Baz stops her before she can take off running again.
"The town gates. Everyone is trying to get out, but no one is being allowed to leave the town. Apparently it's chaos over there."
"Wait. What?" Baz does a double take. "They're not letting people leave?"
The fact that people are trying to leave is not exactly surprising. In a way, it was to be expected. But the second part…
"What's happening?" Baz asks.
"The town's being quarantined," Kat says.
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