Chapter 8: Chapter 8
The rest of dinner is a quieter affair, with everyone quietly worrying about how the people of the Danvers Kingdom will respond to Kara being an alien.
Alex tries to tell herself it will be fine. After all, the people that were around when Kara revealed herself seemed okay with it. She knows they could have easily been in shock. Alex resists the urge to sigh, knowing Kara will hear her and worry. Though Alex is a pro at pretending everything is okay, she had always been terrible at lying to herself.
The others all say goodnight to Kara and Alex when Alex gets tired of being around people. Sometimes she thinks Kara knows her better than she knows herself. They leave together and Alex can tell her sister is dying to ask her about everything that has happened today.
Nerves bubble up in her stomach as Alex tries to mentally prepare herself for this conversation.
"So what's been going on?" Kara asks when they pause in the halls outside their bedrooms. "And do not say you have been worried about me, because I know that isn't it. Not all of it, at least."
Alex's mouth opens and closes but she can't get the words to come out. Or herself, apparently. She lets out a shuddering breath and glances around anxiously. There are guards out here, and they are the worst gossipers in the castle. If she is going to come out now, she's going to do it on her own terms.
"Come on," Alex says quietly.
She opens her door and lets Kara go inside her bedroom first before she does. She closes the door behind her and locks it. Alex doesn't want any surprise visitors. People in the castle know she values her privacy and that she will not hesitate to fight anyone that comes in uninvited. After she punched a particularly annoying and sexist DEO agent in the face for walking into her room like he owned the place, no one comes in without knocking. Except for Kara and her parents, of course.
Now that she is in her room with Kara, the quiet gets to her like an oppressive smoke. She paces back and forth, trying to figure out how to start this. Alex has imagined coming out to her sister dozens of times but now that the moment is here, none of her speeches seem good enough.
"Alex?" Kara's soft voice comes from her bed, where she's sitting. Alex bites her lip, hearing the concern in her sister's voice. "Are you alright?"
"It's just... A lot, you know?" Alex responds quietly.
It's not exactly an answer but Kara lets it go. They have a pact where they won't keep anything bad from each other. And this, this isn't bad. She knows it's not. Alex accepted it a while ago. But thinking something and being able to say something, to tell someone is an entirely different matter.
"Alex," Kara repeats her name, patting the bed next to her. "Come sit."
Alex hesitates so Kara pats again, just as softly as the first time. Alex complies and sits next to her sister. Kara raises an arm and Alex snuggles up against her, taking solace from her warmth. Kara rests her arm over her shoulder. She swallows and lifts up her head enough to face Kara but not enough to look her in the eye.
"Alex, why is this so hard for you to tell me?" Kara asks, keeping her voice low and kind. "You know you can tell me anything."
"I know Kara," Alex breathes out. "I just, I don't know. I don't know," she repeats.
"Take all the time you need," Kara reassures her. "You don't have to tell me now. Or today. Or this year."
"I'm just not ready yet," Alex says quietly. If it were anyone else, they would not have heard her.
"That's fine." Kara frowns and speaks quicker as she starts to ramble. "Unless it's something dangerous or sad. It's not something dangerous or sad, is it? Is it anything I should be worried about?"
"No, nothing like that. I'm okay, Kara. I am not ready to tell anyone just yet." Alex says.
She can feels Kara nod. "Alright, Alex. I can tell it's important to you, but we both know I can wait forever."
Alex makes a joke to try to lighten the mood. "You are well known throughout the lands for your patience, Princess."
She doesn't have to look to know her sister is pouting. "I can be patient."
"Only if you're talking about being a patient to a doctor," Alex teases.
"Hey!" Kara whines, gently slapping Alex's arm.
The smile she can hear in Kara's voice tells her that she doesn't mind. They sit in silence until Alex breaks it.
"You will be the first to know." She promises.
Alex knows she will need Kara's strength to be able to come out to anyone else. At the very least, she will have her sister by her side and that's enough for her.
They stay on the bed like that for a while until Alex nearly falls on the floor when she starts falling asleep. Kara helps her keep her balance so she doesn't end up falling on her face.
"Okay," Kara laughs. "I think it's time for bed."
Alex grumbles, forcing herself to wake up enough so she can speak a coherent sentence. "Can you stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone."
"Of course," Kara says sweetly. She waits until she's sure her sister can keep sitting up before letting go of Alex. "I'm going to go change and brush my teeth. I will be right back."
Alex nods and rests her eyes. Kara rushes away, leaving behind a gust of wind that makes Alex shiver. To make sure she does not fall back asleep, Alex listens to the sounds her sister makes. Doors slam and there's the sound of rustling, which Alex has come to recognize as the sound of her sister going through her nightly routine using her super speed.
She remembers that she locked her bedroom door and frowns. She hopes Kara didn't smash through it again, she hates having to get it replaced. Alex doesn't want to open her eyes long enough to check if her door has survived Kara.
Kara comes back into her room, still using super speed. Her door shuts behind her.
"My door doesn't have a Kara sized hole again, does it?" Alex asks.
"That was one time," Kara says.
"Three times," she corrects under her breath.
Alex opens her eyes and is pleased to see that her door survived. Kara is in her usual pajamas, a white and black plaid button up and gray shorts. On cold nights, Alex curses her sister's Kryptonian ability to never get too cold.
Kara sets her glasses on the nightstand, the one she uses whenever she sleeps over in Alex's room. They don't do that as much as they used to. Alex yawns, prompting Kara to speak.
"I can use my super speed to get you dressed and brush your teeth." Kara offers.
"I will take you up on the dressing part, not the other part. My teeth always feel weird whenever you use super speed to brush them."
"That's because they get so clean." Kara says, grinning.
Alex rolls her eyes but doesn't respond, standing up two feet away from the bed. By now, she knows the drill. Kara used to help her put on her pajamas pretty often, especially during her drinking days. The feeling of her clothing being rapidly removed and replaced is still weird even after all of this time.
Alex thanks her sister and heads to her bathroom, where she brushes her teeth. She heads back to bed to see that Kara's already under the covers, near the center of the bed. Alex slides in and scoots over until she can rest her head on Kara's shoulder.
She yawns and closes her eyes. Kara uses her freeze breath (with minimal freeze) to blow out the candles until they're surrounded by darkness.
Now that Alex is in bed and the lights are off, her mind starts racing just like she feared it would. First, she thinks about her failure to come out.
She knows Kara understands and will be supportive of her, but she just... choked. It's not that she isn't sure, either. She knows, she has known she's gay for years now. She can't think of a reason as to why she could not get the words out except for she is just not ready. And she doesn't know why.
That's when her thoughts turn to Maggie. How she had smiled at her, how she looked, her adorable dimples...
"Alex, I can hear the gears turning in your head from here." Kara whispers. "Turn that genius brain of yours off and sleep."
Alex hums in response and tries to clear her mind. It sort of works, but she still falls asleep picturing Maggie's face.
Aww... Who else wants to hug Alex rn? I was originally going to have her just come out but hey, why not add a little angst, right? She just needs to figure out what's going on in that head of hers. And I loved writing Kara and Alex's interactions! Thank you all for reading and for your lovely comments! Stay awesome!
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