Chapter 17: Confused
Hermione had settled into a routine by now: get up, get dressed in one of the work outfits that she had gotten while on a shopping trip with Pansy, do her hair and makeup the way that Astoria had taught her, Apparate to her workplace (in the correct spot now), sit down and commence typing up some sort of business contract or something similar before attending probably one or two meetings in Malfoy's stead. It was comfortable, and easy.
But there was one thing on her mind.
Her growing affection for one Draco Lucius Malfoy, also her boss, and former bully,a man who seemed always tense and yet at the same time oddly relaxed for the employee-employer relationship developing between the two. He was always nervous and very business-like at the beginning of their conversations, then, once they hit comfortable ground (usually around the five-minute mark) he would relax, leaning back in his office chair and becoming more casual. It confused her, the way he bounced back and forth between seemingly awkward and comfortable. And Hermione Granger does not appreciate being confused.
Frustrated, she pushed aside the sleek, brand-new computer Malfoy had insisted she get and put her head in her hands. Why? What was going on? He had been so mean to her in the past, and yet, now, she him so much more...
Even after she had passed out, after he had collapsed on her bed and asked how she could even look at him after everything he'd done, when they had sat together in silence, and the thought that they were now on much better terms than they had ever been and probably ever will be had sparked a feeling of 'I don't like that'. It only added to her confusion and her jumble of emotions bottled inside of her. Grabbing a quill and a piece of parchment, she scribbled,
She sent it off to Astoria, seriously hoping the other girls had no plans tonight.
***
Luckily, neither Astoria nor Pansy had any problems meeting up that night and so that is how Hermione came to be panicking about what she should do for dinner.
In the end, she ordered pizza. You can go wrong with pizza.
The doorbell rang and she opened the door, somehow managing to not feel un-cute in a dress she had shoved to the back of her closet when Ginny had originally bought it.
.
Hermione's demeanour soured as she remembered the Howler that the girl she had considered her sister had sent her.
The doorbell rang, snapping her out of her thoughts and she opened it to reveal Pansy and Astoria, one dressed in an emerald green romper and the other in a loose midnight blue, off-the-shoulder dress. Hermione suddenly felt underdressed, and suddenly every move of hers seemed clumsy, but the pizza came shortly thereafter and all the initial awkwardness and tension flew out of the window. Soon, everyone was settled onto the various sofas and armchairs with Godiva chocolates on the coffee table, and Pansy clutched her coffee mug and leaned forward with obvious interest.
"So Astoria said you were confused? Practically impossible. What's going on?" Astoria eyes lit up.
"Ten to one that it's guy trouble."
Hermione blushed.
"Astoria!" The blonde shrugged.
"What? I doubt it could be anything else. You would easily figure it out. We may not have been friends at Hogwarts but I know you passed a solid amount of time in the library. Like, every damn day. Anything would be a piece of cake. It's emotional things that you're not as comfortable with."
She listed this off as if she had known Hermione since the day Hogwarts had started. The latter girl looked at her in confusion. So did Pansy.
"When did you become such a good judge of character?"
"How?"
"Well, number one: You are logically based. That's evident in your general demeanour. You think things through and you explain procedures with ease. Number two: When Pansy asked about Ron, that wasn't exactly something you were ready to address. It was a raw, emotional thing. And number three: Since becoming a real estate agent, you learn pretty quickly how to judge if someone is looking for fun or a serious buyer."
The two brunettes looked thoroughly impressed. Astoria shrugged.
"So who is it you're having trouble with?"
Hermione shook her head. "I can't tell you."
"Hermione, we can't help you if we don't know who it is." Pansy coaxed gently.
The girl shook her head. "No."
Pansy sighed. The Gryffindor was stubborn, she knew as much. "C'mon. We won't tell."
"Oh, no no no no no. First, I'll never live it down. Second, I don't even know why or how or , really."
"That's why we're here. Please?" Astoria tried her hand at getting Hermione to spill.
Hermione conceded Astoria's point. "Oh Merlin, fine. But of you can say a word."
The others chorused an agreement. Astoria smiled. "Now spill."
"I- It's..." Hermione stuttered, and put her head in her hands. "Gods, it's that I have problems with."
Astoria and Pansy exchanged a look.
***
"I mean, it's mostly the fact that we haven't been on great terms in the past, and that I can't figure out whether he's just being polite or not, and it confuses me in general..."
Hermione trailed off, hoping that would give the other girls an accurate depiction of her situation. Astoria nodded.
"I get it. You guys hated each other, like, forever, and now you're confused about your feelings surrounding him
Hermione threw her hands up in the air. "Not only that, but I can't even get a good gage on how he feels! And- and after you guys left, after I'd woken up from my self-induced coma-like state, we kind of just sat there in silence. And all of a sudden I had this thought- I realized that this was likely to be as close as we ever got, and immediately after came the 'I don't like that' sentiment. What the hell does mean?" By now she was pacing around the living room area. Pansy smiled.
"C'mon, Hermione. Can't you figure it out?" Hermione stopped, puzzled.
"What do you mean?"
"It means that you want to be friends with benefits, if not more." Pansy shrugged. She had never been one for being subtle. Hermione's eyes widened in realization as she collapsed backwards onto a white, gold-trimmed chair.
". I think you're right."
Pansy smirked a trademark Slytherin smirk. "I generally am."
***
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