Chapter 18: 18. What Do You Mean There's No Cure?
Disclaimer: The world could undergo a dramatic makeover, but no matter how dramatic, never would I own Harry Potter.
Parenting Class
What Do You Mean There's No Cure?
"P-Professor?" stuttered Hermione, still staring in shock at the innocent looking teapot. "I…I…"
"Yes, Miss Granger?" asked McGonagall, coming to stand next to Hermione.
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" she wailed, dropping to her knees and burying her head in her hands. "IT WAS A MISTAKE! I PROMISE! I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE A TEAPOT!"
The Transfiguration knelt down next to Hermione. "What do you mean, Miss Granger? Mr. Malfoy looks fine to me."
"It isn't me, Professor," Draco snickered. "She means Harry."
With a start, McGonagall jumped to her feet and looked astounded at the black teapot now sitting on the desk. "I didn't mean to," Hermione sobbed, looking up at the teacher, her eyes red rimmed. "It was an accident…really."
"I believe you Miss Granger, now please calm down," sighed McGonagall. "Let's see if Mr. Potter can still communicate with us." Picking up the porcelain, McGonagall turned it so she was looking at the spout. "Harry," she said, in an attempt to sound more comforting, "Can you hear me?"
A sharp whistle sounded from the teapot and the class jumped in surprise. "All right then. One whistle means yes and two means no, understand?" Harry whistled again. "Good boy," the woman smiled. "Now, don't worry. We'll get you fixed…somehow," she muttered under her breath. "Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy. Take Harry to the Hospital Wing and see what Madam Pomfrey says."
Hermione nodded tearfully and took Harry gently from McGonagall. Both exited the room a few moments later for the Hospital Wing, Hermione still wiping away tears. "Quit crying already, would you? McGonagall said we'd get him back to normal."
"I just feel so terrible," Hermione sniffled, clutching Harry to her tightly. "And poor Neville…he must be feeling even worse right now. It wasn't really his fault either…but it still kinda was."
Entering the Hospital Wing, the mediwitch groaned at seeing their arrival. "Back again already, are you? I swear, you three never manage to stay out of trouble. What is it this time?"
Hermione shakily held out Harry and the nurse took him, a puzzled expression on her face. "A teapot?"
"That's Harry," Draco clarified. "Hermione turned him into a teapot in Transfiguration and McGonagall sent us up here. Is there anything you can do? She's really starting to annoy me," he whispered, jerking his head at Hermione, who was sitting a chair in the corner and crying softly.
"This has never happened before," the nurse mused, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Let me look him over and if I can't find anything, then to St. Mungo's you go." Setting Harry down on one of the beds, the woman bustled over to a cabinet and began to remove various tools, before approaching Harry again. "This won't hurt a bit," she comforted the teapot.
Draco made himself comfortable next to Hermione in another chair and watched with interest as the nurse tried several different gels and lotions on the teapot, each time Harry flashing a different color before settling back into the dark sheen.
Sadly, Pomfrey shook her head. "I haven't a clue how to fix him. None of the common spells will work or the potions Professor Snape gave me. Here," she said, handing Draco the purple pass they'd taken before. "Use the fireplace in my office to go to St. Mungo's. Try to be back before dinner, but if you can't, send myself of Professor Dumbledore an owl."
Draco nodded and picked up the teapot, before herding Hermione into the medical office and picking up a small jar of floo powder from the nurse's desk. "St. Mungo's," he announced, stepping into the flames and yanking Hermione behind him. Both arrived in the floo room, all covered in soot.
"I'm all right," Hermione said meekly, as Draco made to pull her again. "I shouldn't be going to pieces like that."
Draco nodded his agreement. "There's nothing to be worried about as long as no one breaks Harry." Hermione stopped in her tracks, face turning ghastly white. "What's wrong?" the Slytherin asked.
"Don't you dare drop him, Draco Malfoy. If you do, I'll kill you myself."
"He's fine," Draco assured, patting the teapot. "Right, Harry?" The teapot gave a short whistle. "Don't worry," he said, turning to Hermione. "He's perfectly safe. What floor are we heading for?" he asked, looking up at the sign above the main desk.
"Floor four, I think," Hermione guessed. "That's spell damage…and if this isn't that, then I don't know what is. Come on, the faster we get this done the better."
Both walked at a rather fast pace up the steps, darting around the slower moving witches and wizards. As they were nearing the last leg of the stairs, a man rushed past Draco and accidentally collided with the blond. Muttering an apology, he continued on, though Draco was frozen in horror.
At the impact, Harry had flown from his arms and was now descending towards the very first floor. In slow motion, it gracefully arced overhead as Hermione and Draco both ran after it, though they both knew they'd never make it. Patients on the staircase dove out of the way as Hermione and Draco barreled down, chasing the flying teapot.
Ten…
It was flying over a family all with bunny ears on their heads, scampering away like rabbits as Harry's guardians dashed through them.
Nine…
The teapot hit the wings of a girl who was flying around near the ceiling, a leash around her ankle as her father desperately held on. Bouncing off the wings, it flew back towards the top of the stairs, Hermione and Draco changing direction and charging back up.
Eight…
Harry hit a mattress at the very top of the steps that two hospital workers were levitating between them down the hall. Rebounding off of the springy material, the teapot once more started its descent down the stairs, this time making it successfully beneath the winged girl.
Seven…
Hermione and Draco altered their path of travel and once more went tearing down the steps in hot pursuit as Harry continued to fly through the air, the teapot now whistling loudly in fear.
Six…
Harry hit a chandelier and flew higher in the air, thumping into the wall and beginning a vertical plummet to the floor directly beneath it. Hermione screamed as she dove off of the steps and was airborne, arms outstretched to catch Harry.
Five…
Just before Harry hit the floor, he miraculously bounced off of a woman's head, which had a large, fuzzy pink hat on, and continued down the steps, people darting out of the way so they wouldn't be hit.
Four…
Hermione slammed into the ground on the third floor landing and sat up very dazed, just in time for Draco to use her head as a springboard and launch himself into the air after the black teapot. Harry, meanwhile, was now gliding through the air, the persistent whistle still going full blast.
Three…
Hermione's face crashed into the ground as Draco successfully made it off, the girl not bothering to get up. Draco was flying through the air, his hands almost around Harry when his robe, which had been puffed out behind him, caught on the chandelier and he hung like a piñata, watching in horror as Harry continued his fatal descent.
Two…
Hermione picked her head off the ground, eyes widening in horror at the fate that was to befall Harry. Knowing she could never reach him in time, she closed her eyes tightly, Draco doing the same.
One…
Both waited for the sound of shattering glass as Harry hit the floor, though they heard nothing.
Zero.
Both fearfully opened their eyes, mouths dropping in amazement as they looked at the bottom of the stairs. A kindly, red haired woman was standing at the foot, looking quite surprised. In her arms was the cherished teapot; nestled comfortably in the pile of towels she'd been carrying.
Hermione slowly stood up, still not believing the absolute luck. Gingerly, her hand went to the back of her head, where she could already feel a large bump rising from Draco's foot. The Slytherin began to tear his robes until they ripped completely and he fell to the floor with a loud thump.
The others on the stairs continued about their business of walking up or down, as if this was ordinary. Then again, at St. Mungo's, they probably just presumed Hermione and Draco insane and left it at that. Both 'parent's made their way down to the woman, who was now looking around and trying to figure out where the teapot had come from.
"Goodness, Hermione! What happened to you?" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, looking over the girl's bedraggled appearance. "Are you all right dear?"
"I've felt better," the girl admitted. "Thank you so much," she cried suddenly, hugging Mrs. Weasley tightly, but being careful so the woman wouldn't drop Harry. "I thought he was going to die!"
"Who?" the woman asked, now very confused.
"Harry! He's the teapot!"
"Harry? How did that happen?"
"I accidentally transfigured him in class," Hermione whispered, taking the teapot from Mrs. Weasley and cradling it protectively in her arms. "Madam Pomfrey sent us here to see if we could get him fixed."
"We?" the woman repeated.
"Draco and I." As if on cue, Draco made his way to stand next to Hermione, his robes ripped all the way up the right side from stomach up. "Here he is now," Hermione grinned, trying to fill the awkward silence from the group. She knew Draco had changed, but not completely. And after all of the hurtful things he'd said to and about the Weasley family couldn't be forgiven automatically.
"Hello, Mrs. Weasley," Draco said softly, staring at his feet.
"Hello, Mr. Malfoy," the red haired woman greeted.
Hermione inwardly groaned. She knew they wouldn't get along, but she didn't want them to be so…so formal with each other. Maybe over time Draco would warm up to her and Mrs. Weasley to him. That was a very vague hope though.
"We'd best get going," Hermione said, stepping into the lag in conversation. "We want to get Harry turned back as soon as possible."
"All right, dear. I'll be seeing you over the Christmas holidays this year, right?"
"That's right," the Gryffindor smiled. "See you then Mrs. Weasley!"
"You're going over to their house during break?" Draco asked as the two made their way up the steps once more, this time very cautiously.
"Yep. It'll be my first time. Harry's coming too. Where are you going for the holidays?"
"Probably back home," the Slytherin answered evasively, pausing to look over his shoulder when Hermione stopped walking.
"Back home? But…you can't."
"Why not?"
"I thought…your father…"
"I just deal with it," Draco shrugged, a sad smile on his face before he brightened. "Come on, let's get going."
"Why can't you just stay at Hogwarts?" Hermione asked, falling into step next to Draco.
"My father wants to see me," he answered. "And it generally isn't a good idea to say no. But at least I get spend the summer holidays with Professor Snape, right?"
"Right," Hermione grinned, though inside she was frowning. She couldn't let him go back to his house…she'd have to think of some excuse for him to stay at the castle later…right now she needed to focus on Harry. "Hang on a sec," she said, stopping once more. "Why did you call him Professor Snape?"
"That's what I've called him for all of my years at Hogwarts," Draco smiled. "Besides, Uncle Sev sounds…childish."
"No it doesn't…it's cute. Besides, it doesn't make Snape seen like such a jerk with such an adorable name."
"Then why don't you call him Uncle Sev?"
"Do I look like I have a death wish?"
"Good point."
By now, the two had reached the small information desk on the main landing, a black haired witch sitting behind it reading a magazine. "Yeah, what do you need?" she asked, looking up as Hermione rang a little bell.
"We need to see a healer," Hermione said.
"What reason?"
"Our friend is a teapot…"
"Go into the first room on right. Someone will be with you shortly." That said, the woman went back to her magazine.
"How rude," Hermione sniffed as soon as they were in the assigned room. "You'd think they would hire people with manners."
Thankfully, before Hermione could go into a rant, the door opened and a young, female healer walked in, a smile on her face. "Hello," she said, holding out her hand, Draco and Hermione shaking it in turns, "I'm Healer Brandi. What was it that happened?"
"In our Transfiguration class, I accidentally turned our charge into a teapot," Hermione confessed. "And Madam Pomfrey sent us here since she didn't know what to do."
"I see," said Brandi. "Could I see him?"
Hermione handed Harry over, and bit her nails as Brandi looked the teapot over. "Is he able to communicate with us?" she asked, examining the lightning bolt pattern.
"Yes," answered Draco. "One whistle means yes and two means no."
"All right then," Brandi smiled. "Can I get your names and…"
About an hour later, every single paper had been signed, filled out to the best of their ability, and the teapot had been wheeled away to another room, Harry whistling in alarm as his guardians disappeared from sight. "We'll contact you both when the transformation is complete," said Brandi, shrinking the papers so they would fit a singe manila folder. "Just stay somewhere in the building."
"Let's head up to the tea room," said Draco. "We could both use a cup."
"All right," Hermione agreed, stretching after sitting in the rather uncomfortable plastic chair for so long. "I hear they have good pie too…I sure could use a piece."
Making it up one more flight of steps with no accidents, both teenagers found themselves sitting at a table with a cup of steaming hot tea in front of them a moment later, a large piece of French Silk pie rapidly being devoured by Hermione while Draco watched in amusement.
"Be careful," he warned, "or you might poke yourself."
"I'm fine," Hermione snapped, shoveling more pie in her mouth. "Just stressed…that's all," she said in a more gentle tone. "I'm just really worried about Harry…he's going to be terrified of magic now…I know it."
"Harry will be fine," Draco comforted, taking a sip of his tea. "He'll get over it…don't worry. Besides, you seem to get along well with kids…he's really taken a shine to you, ya know."
"He has?"
"And they call you the smartest witch," Draco teased. "Haven't you noticed how all of the kids like you? I mean, Pansy liked you, and that's pretty rare for that girl."
"I used to baby-sit when I was in fifth grade before I went to Hogwarts, and over the summer holidays I sometimes watch my neighbors' kids. I just like playing with them…they're all so nice."
"All of them are nice?" Draco repeated, an eyebrow raised.
"Well…they all have a sweet side. I don't know…if I hadn't found out I was a witch, I probably would've been a teacher."
"Are you going to become a professor at Hogwarts then?"
"I don't really know…McGonagall did tell me she might be retiring in a few years, so maybe…or I could work here…that'd be fun. Or maybe in a bookstore in Diagon Alley. What about you?"
"I haven't really thought about it."
Hermione's mouth opened and closed like a fish. "We're in sixth year!" she cried in alarm. "You must have some idea of what you want to do!"
"Not really. I was thinking maybe quidditch…but I'm not that great at it."
"What do you mean? You're team captain and you play seeker! And you always win every match…as long as it isn't against Gryffindor," she corrected herself.
"But that's the problem. I can never beat Harry…and if he were to join a quidditch team, then I'd automatically lose every time we played them."
"Harry wants to be an auror," Hermione grinned. "So you wouldn't have to worry about that."
"It's an encouraging thought…but I still don't want to just play, knowing someone is better then me. I want to be the best…and if Harry can always beat me, then I'm not."
"You just need more practice, that's all. Don't worry, Draco, you'll get better."
"If you say so," Draco sighed.
"I wonder what's taking them so long," murmured Hermione a few minutes later. "How hard is it to change him back?"
"I'm curious," said Draco, a thoughtful expression on his face. "McGonagall said that the spell could be used on humans…but…it's supposed to be for animal transformations."
"What are you getting at?"
"Well…what if they can't change Harry back?"
"We're visiting the library…now," said Hermione, jumping out of her chair.
"But we're not supposed to leave the building. And we aren't going to find a library in a hospital!"
"They have to have medical books on hand, right? So let's go."
Just giving Draco enough time to grab his robe (he'd taken it off and put it on the back of his chair) Hermione yanked them out of the tea shop and down all five flights of stair to the main information desk. "Excuse me," she said, "do you have any medical books I could look at for a quick moment?"
"Yes, we do in fact," the welcome witch smiled. "Go down the hall on your right and first door on your left. Everything's in there, but please don't wreck anything."
"Thank you very much," Hermione said, before dragging Draco off behind her again.
"Slow down, would you?" Draco pleaded, literally being towed behind Hermione as she sprinted, the Slytherin unable to get his feet firmly on the floor. "Fine, don't listen to me," he muttered as Hermione sped up.
Seconds later, the Gryffindor and half-conscious Slytherin arrived outside the door, and Hermione yanked Draco in before dropping him on the floor and flying over to the shelves. "In…pain…" Draco groaned, sitting up and clutching his wrist, which Hermione had all but pulled off in her rush.
"You'll live," she said, running her hands over thick medical volumes and searching for her desired book. "Ah ha!" she exclaimed a second later. "Here it is! Tea Set Charms! If it isn't here, then we'll look up the curse."
Settling herself on the floor next to Draco, Hermione riffled through the pages until she found her desire page. The passage read:
As of the current date (September 30th) only two very unfortunate people have ever been under the Teapot Charm. This spell is supposed to be used on mice, small birds, and cats, though by accident humans are sometimes put under it. The words to transform the living creature into a teapot or teacup are 'yunomi jawan' and depending on the wrist and wand movement, you shall either be represented with a teacup or a teapot.
In the early 1900's, a man by the name of Malory Dutroppet was placed under this spell by his wife, who was attempting to turn an infestation of mice in their home into a tea set. He lived as a teapot for sixty-four years after that, before dying at the ripe old age of one hundred and two, still as a teapot. He is currently buried at the Kensington Cemetery as a cremated teapot, the cure never having been found.
The second person turned into a teapot is still alive today. Poor Albert Princeton was turned into a shiny, lime green teapot by a friend of his when he uttered 'yunomi jawan' instead of the spell 'yunomi jowan', which would have given Albert a cup of tea to drink. Currently, Albert is on display at the Accidental Magic Museum located in Diagon Alley.
At the moment, there is no cure, so it is asked that this spell be treated with extreme caution. Unfortunately, many do not know that you cannot turn the teapot back into a human, and therefore continue to use it, with sometimes-disastrous results.
The book fell from Hermione's hands with a dull thud, her eyes blank. "Now we know why they're taking so long," Draco grinned, before his expression turned solemn.
"This…can't be happening…it can't…there must be some mistake…"
"Hermione," said Draco gently. "The book self updates…there is no mistake."
"There has to be!" she cried, shoulder shaking with suppressed sobs. "He's my best friend! He can't live like that forever!"
Dashing from the room, Hermione ran back to the welcome witch, the book clutched against her chest. "IS THERE REALLY NO CURE?" she screamed hysterically, slamming the book down on the desk, the page open to the Teapot Charm.
"T-that's, r-right," the nurse stuttered, quite afraid by the livid expression on Hermione's face.
"BUT THERE HAS TO BE! HARRY POTTER IS A TEAPOT!"
The lobby area, which had been very loud and noisy with all of the people inside, fell as silent as a tomb, all turning to stare at Hermione.
"Nice going," Draco muttered, coming to stand next to Hermione.
"Coming through, excuse me. Reporter for the Daily Prophet, excuse me please." A slim young woman elbowed her way through the crowd, brown hair piled up in a curly bun on top of her head. Bright, red robes matched her crimson nails, light bouncing off her jeweled spectacles and making it rather hard to look at her. "Ah, it's you," she said, looking Hermione over. "Well, no matter. Mind telling us all how the famous Harry Potter became a teapot?"
"What the hell did you just do?" hissed Draco as the people crowded in. Hermione didn't answer, she merely fell backwards into Draco's arms, the Slytherin looking down at her, concern on his face, before he glanced up, watching in horror as Rita Skeeter made her way over, teeth flashing in a smile.
Meanwhile, upstairs in a private ward, the healers were all clustered around Harry, unable to do anything and feeling terrible. "He's supposed to be our savior later from he-who-must-not-be-named," whispered Brandi. "And we haven't an idea how to cure him. What do we tell everyone?"
"It's terrible," agreed another nurse. "The poor boy. And Miss Granger said that he believes he's only five at the minute…how horrible to have to live that long knowing you're a teapot."
"Well, should I make us a cup of tea?" joked Erin, one of the younger workers. "I was just kidding," she defended, seeing the glares directed at her by her co-workers. "Sheesh, you guys are all so serious."
A knock sounded on the door and a young man entered, carrying a tray full of supplies that were to be bottled. "Oh sorry, I thought this was the storage room," he apologized. "I'll just be goooIIIIINNNNGGGGG!" he cried in alarm as he tripped over his enormously large feet, the contents on his tray flying off and landing in and around the teapot.
Instead of scolding him, the nurses rushed over to the small teapot, which was now changing dramatically. The lightning bolts were fading until only one remained and the black color changing into a peach hue. Harry was also now spitting out large amounts of green gunk from his spout, the result of the ingredients mixing inside of him.
As they watched in fascination, the teapot slowly began to lengthen and grow, until a small boy sat on the table, coughing up the disgusting looking gunk from his mouth.
"Oh my God," breathed Brandi. "He's cured." Quickly taking action, she placed a pot under Harry's mouth and began to pound him on the back to help him get the substance out of his system. "Make sure we keep a sample of this," she said, over the loud clamor the nurses were making as they took down notes. "We should bring some over to Albert."
"I'll go page Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy," Erin cried excitedly. Dashing over to the magical intercom she pressed the button.
"Calling Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger. Calling Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger. Please report to room three hundred and eighty B right away. That's three hundred and eighty B. Your charge has been cured."
Draco, who had been trying to revive Hermione and keep the reporters away, jumped to his feet, a large smile on his face. "Hear that?" he addressed the audience. "Harry isn't a teapot anymore." Flashing them an award-winning smile Lockhart would have been jealous of, Draco took off, carrying Hermione at a sprint.
He burst into the room a few seconds later, completely out of breath and lowered Hermione gently to the floor. "Is…he really…okay?" he panted, leaning against the doorframe.
"He'll be fine," Brandi assured from the bed. "As soon as he gets all of this green stuff out of him he'll be perfectly fine."
"I thought there wasn't a cure," murmured Hermione, coming out of her faint and staring at Brandi.
"There wasn't. We just found it," Brandi grinned. "Why don't you two come over here? Harry sure could use a familiar face at the second."
Hermione took Brandi's place, her arms wrapping around Harry as he spat out the green goop and Draco sat at the foot of the bed, both waiting for Harry to finish. When Harry was all emptied out, Hermione handed him a towel to clean his face off and a cup of water.
As soon as he'd used both, Harry began to cry softly, the events simply catching up. Hermione pulled him into an embrace, burying her face in his hair. "I'm so sorry, Harry…so sorry."
Harry simply nodded his head before pressing it into Hermione's robes. Draco watched the duo, never having been the hugging and comforting sort of person. "One thing," Harry whispered after a few minutes, picking his tear streaked face up.
"Anything," Hermione agreed.
"Can we not have tea for a while?"
Hermione grinned. "You got it!"
Author's Notes:
1/18/05- Reuploaded since some people didn't get their alerts and I fixed some spellingerrors!
God, I feel like the living dead. In a good sort of way though. XD If anyone was curious, I did make the play! n.n Although, that does mean it'll be harder for me to update weekly with all of the practices and stuff. Lucky for you all, I've decided not to go out for badminton...last year's episode with my wrist has given me nightmares. XD
I actually didn't even think I would get this chapter up...I made myself do it. I'm dead tired and almost fell asleep driving today to go get my scanner. :P So, unfortunatley, I'm just going to skip over questions and such. Very sorry.
Also, on my profile page, I have a few things I'd luv if you'd look at. One is a link to a picuture of my elephante in the BC. It's kinda crappy, but now that I have a scanner you can expect to see a lot better pics shortly. If you'd be so kind as to leave a vote, I'd be eternally grateful.
I also have a pic of Hermione and Draco I drew...if you'd rate it that would be awesome! It had a rating of 10/10 with 6 people, but then someone rated it a one and it dropped considerabley. T.T
Last thing up, is I have a picture of myself and my twin, in case anyone is curious. I'm the one on the left in the pink poncho, with the tags still on since I just tried it on, and which for some reason is crooked. XP I'm going to try and get one of my dog up too later
Please do review, they're ubberly appreciated. I'm off to go practice my flute and then take a nice long nap. Ja ne!
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