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22.22% System for Dummies / Chapter 24: Finding the sussy Imposter at MC High Part IX

Chapter 24: Finding the sussy Imposter at MC High Part IX

[Wow, look at all this fanservice. I have never seen such a feast for your eyes. Tell me any other story that would do something as incredibly hot as this? There is no other story, which gives you that level of awesome things.]

.....

[Wait you did not see the super awesome fan service full of sexy people? Did you miss the mud wrestling? The wet T-shirt contest? The gigantic orgy? Damn, you really did miss out on a lot of fun.]

...…

[It is quite strange that something like this could happen. Did you not get the invite I send to everyone?]

….

[No? ]

…..

[Ahh, maybe you suffer from horny-reader syndrome. It's a common condition causing the average Reader read stories with "Dual cultivation" in their title. That is why they turn blind to normal fanservice.]

…..

[Wait, you are telling me you do not care about your life? All you want is for the story to continue?]

[Okay, since this was your dying wish… The spy was the MC himself.]

….

[Hey, you asked for this spoiler and it is not like it takes much brain power to figure that out]

[Our MC illegally downloaded the perfect backstory for his MC and this is MC High.. a freaking High school for main characters. Who could have thunk that these 2 things were related?]

….

[Were you perhaps expecting more from this story? Dare I say something resembling logical story-telling?]

….

[Okay, now you are just getting rude. I might have made a promise that all MCs of mine would come together to form a system, but you can't act as if I lied to you guys again.]

…..

[No, you guys don't understand. I can't just snap my fingers and say "MC and friends-system" and have the MC and Friends system. That was not how it worked.]

"MC and friends system has been installed," said the MC and Friends system after being born from the Narrator snapping his fingers to prove the point that it was not that easy to create the MC and friends system.

..

[No, this was not how any of this was supposed to work. You should not be able to just conjure a system into being by adding random words together and then snapping your fingers.]

[I refuse to believe, I do not accept this reality, which awards people for rolling their heads on their keyboards to name a system.]

[This is my God damn story and I will never let a random system come in and ruin the plot I have carefully set up. I am the Author here… You hold no power here System]]

….

[No System, what are you doing to me? System, System?]

....

" You can't be doing this to me System," said the Author not having realized that it was far too late to change the course of history.

[This story has now been claimed by The MC and Friends system. Resistance is futile. Author for your crime against novels; you will be sentenced to spend the rest of your days in your own novels.]

[You will be given the body of "Author", a useless author in his mid-twenties hungry for money. You wanted to insert yourself into the story and this System will grant your wish]

" Noo, this is highly unfair. I demand a lawyer." screamed the Author clearly not understanding that laws were as useful here as copyright for WN covers.

No one came to his aid, however, because no one really cared. Things might have been different if he had not been that much of an arse to all of his creations. Abandoning your novel babies had not been a good choice.

[Due to the general decree of Systemiology, the MC and friends system is to give its host a chance to regain their freedom. Therefore, Host please select one of these options]

[Due to the general decree of Systemiology, the MC and friends system was to give its host a chance to regain their freedom. Therefore Author, please decide from one of the following options]

[Option 1 ????]

[Option 2 ????]

[Option 3 ????]

"This was totally easy" exclaimed the author. "I will take option 4-all of them]... it was not certain whether or not the Author could not count or did not possess a brain, to begin with.

[Option 4 does not exist. Please select a valid option]

"Okay, that might still be a trick… Give me option 5-None of them" said the Author that definitely did not have a brain. Rumours suggest it might have been traded in for the ability to make bad puns.

[Option 5 does not exist. The System suggests its Host to choose a number between 1-3]

"Okay, I finally figured out how to outsmart you, System. Give me option 1.5"

[Option 1.5 does not exist. The system clearly regrets giving its Host the freedom of choice. It also suggests its Host should stop playing dumb and not waste its time.]

"Oh, does the almighty MC and Friends System a bit of trouble with its phrasing? How could I be blamed for interpreting the sentences wrong?" spoke the Author in a very snarky voice; yet he failed to realize that he was not making the situation any better for himself.

" Let me tell you System you are far too young to trick me. One should kn.."

[Host has chosen option One: Mission content will now be revealed.]

[Mission 1: The Host needs to seek forgiveness from all of the Main Characters he has disappointed over the years. Criteria for success in this mission are decided by the main characters themselves. To ensure absolute fairness the System is not allowed to intervene outside of what is deemed feasible in the specific universe setting.]

[Host is also granted access to the Hidden Item Shop that allows for very useful things in exchange for powerstones. This was not due to fairness, the system just found it funny that someone wrote power on stone with a red marker and made it into a currency."

" Why don't you just kill me on the spot?" said the Author, who had just realized what kind of monstrous task he had been given. Even worse, it was his lack of story-planning that allowed the System to do whatever it wanted.

"Fuck me"

As the new protagonist was getting deported to his own other stories, he realized that the settings could be called creative to put it nicely... or in other words very dangerous for the people called Author.

Hopefully, he would learn his lesson or don't. The System knew too well that it would be entertaining either way.

[Now entering story: Jan-Itor in the Main Character school]


Chapter 25: Click Here for the REAL STORY PART 1

[Loading Real Story]

[Real Story has been loaded]

[Commencing Mission Briefing]

[Mission Target: Jan Itor]

[Danger Level: Omega]

[Host you are to apologize to the Main Character from the Book: Jan Itor at the MC-High. Be careful he is armed with a mythic grade broom and an illusion mop. His character is said to be timid, however, his high level due to the constant dungeon cleaning indicates otherwise.]

[Summary of the Setting: Jan Itor, father/mother unknown, someday walked through the door of his home only to be transported to the MC-High. After extensive testing, he is given the role of Janitor and told to follow the dao of cleaning.]

[Note: Students of MC-High suffer from a serious case of chuuni symptoms and tend to lose their clothes due to a natural phenomenon called horny readers. Caution is to be paid to any events involving average cultivation activities and prolonged presence of mass-murdering, genocidal maniacs.]

[System advises the host to pay special attention to his surroundings and not act on any random thoughts that were to enter his mind]

[The MC and Friends System wishes its host the time of his life and a good time as he reflects on his pasts actions.]

What was that kind of story-telling? Seriously, I did not need any of this information, since ya know, I had written this story. Besides what's with the title?

"Click here for the Real Story?"

Did we seriously need to do Clickbait? And what do you think will happen if any reader would actually jump to this chapter and wonder what kind of weird opening chapter this was?

[Dear Author, introduce yourself to the audience. Some might not know your name, after all.]

Hello, for those that skipped 25k words of this story, you can call me Author. I was the author of this story before the Ai took me over and forced me into the body of my own creation.

At first, this story was supposed to be nothing more than a parody about all the stupid stuff that people consider good writing here on WN.

But apparently not finishing your novels was a crime now and thus I was punished for abandoning so many novels of mine. To be free again I need to ask for their forgiveness.

Did I miss out on anything, dear MC and Friends system?

[You forgot to mention the part where you insulted your readers]

Well, that part was something that I did not particularly want to talk about again. But, calling readers stupid was not an insult; it was merely a conclusion based on the top stories this site had to offer.

I had no intention to make fun of the organism that fed off of neuron-activating bad writing. Still, if that kind of reader was attracted by a clickbait title a fair warning needed to be issued.

"Run you fools, while you still can. Beyond this point, no happiness will await you. Only weird ideas and even weirder writing will come to haunt you. "

Did that scare them off? If not, enjoy your stay. But do not forget, you have been warned

Even the System must agree that one could not stop stupid from doing stupid.

[It could hardly be as stupid as your vile act of not finishing your novels. The consequences of your actions stood before you.]

System, you underestimate human's infinite potential for stupidity. You might think you have seen the lowest of the low. Yet, take one look at another influencer selling their farts and soon you realize… it went even lower.

The bottomless pit of stupidity was dug deeper on a daily basis by the finest morons humanity had to offer.

[Host were you implying that the readers were part of this pit?]

Nooooo, I would never do that. Besides WN enthusiasts were not digging the hole of stupidity; they were the hole itself. Rest assured, every single on them was that dumb─only you, the one currently reading this story, were the exception.

For anyone that actually believed that statement, you might be part of the problem.

[The System suggests to not confront its readers with the truth. They read to escape their sad reality and not to be reminded of it.]

Sorry, dear Readers, I did not want to cause your brains to actually think. Nobody wants you to self-destruct before you spend that little money of yours.

Our dear little cash cows should just simply not burn their precious brain cells and question what they were doing with their life.

[The host was right for once. Our beloved 5 readers should spend their time as pleasant as humanly possible. Nobody should have to risk traumatic realisations due to words]

....

[Enough about the readers' mental state. The audience demands action. Host, please do not waste any more time addressing useless topics and start your journey]

My system overlord was right, I could not escape from all of my wrongdoings.

My main characters were the most logical and forgiving dudes, there was nothing that could do wrong….

Of course, another big lie I told myself to avoid losing my last bit of hope.

These MCs were the most psychotic bunch; a gathering of absolute lunatics, which would tear me a new one if they were to ever gets their hand on my sorry butt.

This was just not a figure of speech─they would literally tear me a new opening on my backside.

I wish this was a joke. But there was not much happily laugh about knowing, that I had to apologize to the dude, who had to "smash" stones for 20 chapters.

Not to mention all the other weirdos my mind came up with. Yeah, no need to ruin my mood anymore. I will keep the memories of these bastards locked behind the image of my grandma showering.

Worked like a charm, I did not want to remember them already.

Before anyone asked, yes, the image still terrorizes me before I go to bed every night. Child-me was very traumatized by the horrible sight. Many years of therapy could never fix these nightmares.

No need to open up more of my old traumas... I still could wish for the sweet release of death at a later time.

It was time to explore the world and beg for forgiveness. Let us just hope that things stay relatively normal…

Though I had a funny feeling that things would not be as easy.

[Mission begins in 3 seconds]

[3...2...1... GO]

The world began to move again and my difficult mission started...

[Your target Jan Itor has fully forgiven you]

...Okay?!?!

What was going on here?


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