Chapter 11: Nightmare, coma and a plot twist.
Unfortunately for some reason, I was not having sweet dreams about swimming through my mountain of cash, the one I would be winning with my story.
Instead, I had nightmares-voices whispered into my ear… telling me that my story sucked. The images of these bad reviews haunted me in my sleep.
My screams echoed through the void, but no one listened. I begged them to stop and yet more and more came.
Ekking James left another review and destroyed the rest of my frail sanity. The 5 stars were worthless; who cared about this book anymore?
This madman destroyed my reality… this someone really applied logic to anime of all things. Did they want the world to burn?
All the anime gurls were real to me, damn it. All these camera angles were for us, the fans. Do not take this away from us. We neither want nor need your "logic" here.
Science was dead to us, should it prevent us from getting huge anime recks. Death to all, that question the supremacy of animated titties.
No, what happened to me? I saw all these anime MCs fading as if someone had snapped their fingers. They left me like I left good story writing.
Give me back my imaginary HAAAAREM…!!!!
Why was everything I loved crumbling in front of my eyes?
As if someone was trying to make a point all these MCs appeared again and were promptly zapped into nonexistence again.
And then they came back again, and now they were gone again.
This time they were here to stay─sike, they cosplayed as your average dad of isekai MCs and just dipped outta there.
For comedic purposes think about them as rich taxpayers, on paper they might exist, but they remain nowhere to be found.
For further comedic purposes think about the MCs as the shrinking middle class… there was no joke just sadness.
For peak comedy, just pretend that any of this was funny.
You know, despite my name being Author I never claimed to be a good writer. My parents, whose name I do not even remember just suffer from a very serious case of bad naming sense.
Oh anyways, I was still having a nightmare, sorry for ruining the mood there. People always took it way too serious, ya know I'm saying?
It's just like anyone and their sweet mother had to complain nowadays.No, Mam I did not want to teach your easily impressed son about the birds and the Bees.
To apologize for my sins, I would like to teach anyone involved how to build a bomb─make that follow count go boom.
….
Oops, I might have done a little fucky wucky, my 0 followers informed me that teaching small children how to build atom bombs was not something our new Supreme Overlord little Timmy should have known.
Supreme Overlord Little Timmy has had enough of writing cultivation stories, thus he decided to extort the world for money, natural riches and his own harem.
Little did Supreme Overlord Little Timmy know that the Resistance Leader Tiny Tommy, the best system writer, had also seen the tutorial. One nuclear fallout later both of them returned to writing their stories and their normal lives, after their moms grounded them.
And if they did not die, they are writing stupid stories to this very day.
What? Why do you look at me as If I was crazy?
Dude you are the Reaper, the claimer of souls, the End to all things, the great Equalizer… why would I let go towards the light? I have so many things to ask you.
Who cares if I am currently in a coma due to suffering from brain damage? This dead boi is, pardon, was your biggest fan.
Your movie Death 2.0 was the inspiration for me to become a writer.
The part where you claim someone's soul was my favourite. All my friends found my love for your very concerning, but since that day I had no friends anymore.
Here I thought everybody would be courting death…
There was no love for our reaper friend. Everybody was just looking for the big booba. Death-chan only had 7589 results on rule 33+1… I cant even.
Dear Death, you were missing out on so many things. I have a very big business proposal just for you.Why reap souls, when you can reap some murderous profits.
Lemme tell you how you could make an absolute Killing. The brand of death was way more than just death metal… there was so much untapped potential.
We needed to sell the exclusive Death bathwater, the exquisite glass sealed fart jars produced by our Reaper himself, the rare death superhero figures and yet that was not nearly enough.
We needed more merchandise. Death, ma dude, you need to make way more out of your brand. Far too few people were thinking about you.
Death NFTs, a deathcoin, death bodypillows, death albums, death books, death smut, death systems, death harem stories and the list went on.
And, of course, we would sue everyone that uses your name for a quick coin. Death n*te or Deathcl*ws you better watch out…
But the death in front of my only shook his head. Apparently, mortal possessions were beneath him. What a bummer, he was missing out on so much.
Before I could even make my next awesome proposal my soul was yeeted into the light.
Thus me, Author the author, and my story about writing a story came to an abrupt end. Cuz everyone knew that there was no Internet in the After-Afterlife.
Duh, but then surprisingly the real story began…
Really, the "real" story, everyone has given up on, would start the next chapter. Would I ever lie? The answer was obviously yes, but someday it would be the truth.
Until that day, I would just pretend to be an idiot, so that everyone loves me.
Eeeh, I meant look at the light. It is so shiiiiny, I wanna touch it. Me very smart; me smartest person unaliven't …
Me read system novels, me was one of you guys. How you doing fellow fans of watching numbers riiise. Me wanting a harem, me always horny…
Me repeating jokes, cuz me very creative.
Me seeing you next chapter…
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