Chapter 6: 006
"Truly beautiful". Prince Lars says, kissing the back of Mirco's hand, and my heart aches.
I can see Mirco smiling back at the Alpha, I can see my brother being pleased by the compliment, by the acknowledgement of his irrefutable beauty by such a powerful and good looking Alpha, and my insides twist painfully, my heart flaring up in consuming jealousy.
My inner Omega literally crawling at the back of my mind, groaning in anger, and fighting to be let loose.
I can feel my teeth sharpening, my gums aching painfully, my inner wolf now howling in pain as I refuse to act on his anger, on his unreasonable jealousy.
Unreasonable yes, because I should not be harboring such feelings towards my brother, how could I wish to ripe my own brother into thin shreds, only to keep him away from an Alpha ?.
'Our Alpha', An angry voice supplies at the back of my ragging mind, and I refused to acknowledge it.
There was no way I could—,
"Coming from such a good looking man, I can only accept your words as was they are Your Highness, compliments". Mirco replies, smiling at the Alpha Prince.
I know that smile, such smile from my brother only meant that Prince Lars got Mirco interested in him.
I barely manage to contain the growl bubbling at the back of my throat from escaping.
I can't help but want to ripe my brother's hand away from the Alpha's hold, replacing it with mine instead.
I can't help but want for him, to only look at me, to only smile at me, to be the only one in his eyes.
Wasn't he proclaiming his unwavering loyalty to me just a few minutes ago ?.
Why is he complimenting my brother now then ?. If he doesn't intend to carry on with their engagement ?.
Why is he not telling all, how he claimed me as his beloved a while ago ?. Why is he not telling them how he scented me in that corridor, away from all prying eyes ?.
Why is he not telling them how he ravished my lips, while holding tightly my quivering body against his ?!. Why is he not telling them how he daringly asked for my hand ?!.
Why is he not calling me darling again ?!. Why is he not even sparing a single glance at me ?!. Why is he only focused on Mirco ?!.
Why—?!
Why am I left alone, shaking in barely contained anger and jealousy, watching from my spot next to Noah, as he smiles and converses with Mirco ?!.
Why is he not paying attention to me ?!.
'Ripe him into shreds !. Keep him away from our Alpha !. Mine !. My Alpha, not his !'. And I can't help but agree.
Prince Lars was mine !. That Alpha was mine !.
Mirco had no right to—,
"Ady !". I hear someone scream, successfully ripping me away from my spiraling thoughts.
My ears are ringing, and my jaw aches atrociously from how much I had contained myself from barring my teeth at my older brother. And I know for a fact, that both my hands must be bleeding, from how much I had clenched my fists.
"Ady !". I hear again, and now I can recognize the voice of Sunny, as well as his soft hand on my shoulder piercing through the thick fog clouding my thoughts.
As I lift my head slowly to look up at him, I can decipher his worried expression, as well as the one of those around us.
"I am—". I try, wincing at my own strained voice. "I am fine Sunny, there is no for you need to—".
"Fine ?!". Noah exclaims in disbelief. "I've been calling out your name for a few minutes now !". He says, and I stare back at him in utter shock. "And you've been emitting this sour and distressed scent—are you okay Ady ?. Is there something wrong ?". My little brother asks me, eyes full of worry.
I feel immediately bad, worrying my little brother in such way. I can see my parents, Harry and Mirco—
Oh dear Goddess, what was I thinking ?!.
I barely manage to contain the hiccups menacing to escape my throat. My hand moving to stop, vainly, the distressed sounds from escaping past my lips.
What was I thinking ?!. Oh dear Goddess—!
Eyes blinking at rapid pace, in vain hope to contain my tears, I pray away from the comforting hand and worried gaze of my brother.
"Ady are you okay ?". Mirco asks me, moving away from the cause of my current torment and skipping closer to me, worry splattered across his face and littering his scent.
Immediately I take a step back, unable to meet my brother's eyes, not after what I just thought of him.
What I thought doing to him.
"I—I am feeling unwell". I manage to croak out, still avoiding Mirco's gaze, I glance at my father, eyes still watery. "I—I ask for our guests's forgiveness, but I would like to go back to my chambers. Father please I—". I send a pleading look at my father.
I hoped that he could see through my eyes, the distress overwhelming me. I needed to leave, I needed to leave right now.
Father's eyes narrow slightly at my sudden request while mother, standing next to him and looking just as worried as everyone else grabs his hands, silently asking him to let me go.
Father glance at her for a split second before nodding his approval, "Noah, escort your brother back to his chambers, ask one of the beta to follow you and send someone to look for the physician". Father ordered, and Sunny was already nodding, coming back to my side and wrapping an arm around my waist to support me.
"There's no need for the physician Father, I am sure it's merely sleep my body is lacking, I just have to—". I started, before a curt glance from my father cut me off mid-sentence.
"I am not asking for your opinion on the matter Adrian". He said, and then turns to my brother. "Noah, take him away".
Sunny nods, before escorting me out of the throne room. Head down, I purposely avoid to look at Mirco or at His Highness as Sunny escort me out of the room.
The walk back to my chambers pass in a blur, and it is only when Sunny hands me a fuming-hot cup of tea, that I register that we are back in my rooms, and that for a matter of fact, I was cuddled up in my nest.
"Ady ?". Sunny's voice brings me back once more to reality. The tea was now cold. "Ady, what happened back there ?". He asks me, taking one of my hands into his. "You seemed so hurt ? And angry ? And your scent, it was so sour—, tell me Ady, what's wrong ?".
A tear escape my eye, quickly followed by a thousand more, "I am such an horrible person Sunny". I cry, hiccuping loudly. "I—I am su—such an horr—horrible brother". The sobs intensifies and I can barely breath.
Face hidden in my hands, I cannot stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks, nor can I stop the overwhelming feeling of guilt constricting my chest.
Sunny is quick to climb into my nest and comfort me, he wraps his arms around me, hugging me tight, my head resting against his chest. His scent erupt in the room, warm and comforting.
"You are no such thing Ady". He says softly, comforting. "You are one of the nicest, kindest and selfless person I had the chance to meet. And you are an amazing brother as well, after all you are my favorite ". He adds, kissing the top of my head.
I shake my head, body still rocked by hiccups, "Yo—you don't —you don't know what I've done. You don't know the horrible thing I did, the—the monstrous things I thought of". I cried.
"You're right, I don't know. I don't know what happened Ady, but what I do know is that despite enjoying to stay alone most of the time, you still make time for me when I ask. I know that you are friends with most of the working hands of this castle, despite them being of lower status than you. I know that it's you who encouraged Sir Frederick to court Lady Adelaide. I know that you still believe in finding your soulmate, no matter how many times Coco and I have told you to leave it be. And I know how much you care about us Ady, I know how much you love us. So please stop, stop hurting yourself with these senseless words". My little brother says, trying all his might to comfort me, to get me to calm down.
But how could all of theses be true ?.
How could I accept being described as kind ? As loving ? As selfless ?. How could I ? When all I keep thinking about was how Mirco was now probably left alone with Prince Lars ?.
How could I ? When I keep wanting to hurt my own brother over a man I knew nothing of ?!.
Over a man who was betrothed to my brother at that !.
Prince Lars is Mirco's fiance—, and it hurts just to think about that.
What was wrong with me ?!.
"I—Sunny, please I would like to—I would like to be alone". I says, sniffing .
Immediately, Sunny shakes his head, saying how he possibly couldn't leave me alone in such distressed state, but I insist.
"Then, I will ask for the physician to—". Sunny starts but I cut him off rather forcefully.
"No !". I exclaim. "No, I—I don't need to see the physician Sunny, I just—I just need some rest that's all". I lie, trying all my might to sound at least a little bit convincing.
But I can clearly see that Noah is not convinced, as he tries to argue with me, "Then he can prescribe some herbs for you, to help you sleep better". He insists again, but I refuse.
"Sunny please, I just want to be alone, please". I plead, on the verge of tears once again.
I wanted to be left alone, no brother, no physician and most importantly, no thoughts of Mirco and Prince Lars alone somewhere, talking, smiling, getting to know each other.
My brother takes a look at my crestfallen face, at the tears building up in my eyes and gives me a reluctant nod.
I sigh, content that he is going to give me some space. I watch in silence as he carefully leave my nest, tucking me in a colorful thick blanket before kissing my forehead and walking toward the door.
"I'll come by later with Coco to check on you okay ? In the meantime, try to get some rest Ady". Sunny says, and I nod. He grabs the door knob and open the door intending to leave, but stops himself, seemingly hesitating about something.
I hear him sigh before he turns to glance at me again, "Ady, I don't know what is happening to you, or what makes you so distressed, or even what makes you think such horrible things of yourself but—but I love you, we all love you and we are there whenever you may need one of us. Please, always remember that". He says voice soft, and I cannot help but be overwhelmed by guilt once again.
I bury my face in my pillow, hiding away from him, from his words and from the guilt, tears still pickling at the corner of my eyes. I hear him sigh then leave, the sound of the door closing behind him a sign that I am now alone.
Face still buried in my pillow I inhale deeply, taking in the comforting scents of my loved ones, the scents enclosed in the variety of clothings dispersed a little bit everywhere but arranged in an organized mess.
The clothings belonged to a little bit of everyone, from my parents to Sir Frederick. And being surrounded by all theses scents, felt like being hugged by all of them at the same time.
Still, it is not enough to calm me down, and I know why.
I know why, and I hate it.
I hate that now, when I think about comfort, it is only his that I want.
his scent, his comfort, him and only him...
I did not know the Alpha and yet, I only wanted him, my inner Omega only wanted him—
What was wrong with me ?!.
'Nothing wrong ! Our Alpha ! Ours ! Ours and no one else's !'.
"Shut up !". I exclaim, sobbing. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut the hell up !. He is not my Alpha ! He is not ours !. Why don't you understand that ?!". I cried pitifully, the thought of Lars not being mine, ours, hurts so much. "He is Mirco's Alpha, not ours, never ours so shut up".
His Highness —Lars, Lars was not mine, he was not ours. And not matter how much the thought hurt, I had to accept it as it was....the truth.
Lars is betrothed to Mirco, Lars is going to marry Mirco....Lars was Mirco's, not mine.
I choke onto a pitiful sob, hugging myself and wishing to escape reality.
I fell asleep like that, wishing that Lars and I could truly be together.
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