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I find Nathaniel to be an interesting character--he seems like a pretty down-to-earth mob boss. Apart from the constant suggestive innuendos and being a stalker, he's quite likeable. Although, this is a satire, so I guess these two vices are a necessary part of his character. There were some grammar mistakes, but I really enjoyed the use of metaphors and similes in the descriptions--they were very vivid. Keira goes off on a tangent every so often and I sometimes find it hard to follow, but it seems these are just her wayward thought streams, which is also part of her character.
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I find Nathaniel to be an interesting character--he seems like a pretty down-to-earth mob boss. Apart from the constant suggestive innuendos and being a stalker, he's quite likeable. Although, this is a satire, so I guess these two vices are a necessary part of his character. There were some grammar mistakes, but I really enjoyed the use of metaphors and similes in the descriptions--they were very vivid. Keira goes off on a tangent every so often and I sometimes find it hard to follow, but it seems these are just her wayward thought streams, which is also part of her character.
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