Chapter 494: Onmyoji Arc, Finished!
Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 494 Onmyoji Arc, Finished!
"Die! Naturally wavy hair!" Kagura did not intend to let go and continued to bite Gintoki's head.
"It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Stop it!" Gintoki kept shaking Kagura, but it didn't work at all, "Blood is coming out!"
"Stop messing around, Kagura-chan." Shinpachi smiled helplessly, "The woman Gin-san mentioned doesn't include Kagura-chan."
"Bastard! Virgin glasses!" Kagura jumped onto Shinpachi's shoulder. She opened her mouth and bit down on Shinpachi's head, then she mumbled, "This time you scolded me for not even being a woman-aru?! Die, die, die!"
"Who is a virgin glasses?! Let go of your mouth! You stinky woman!" Shinpachi roared angrily, "The woman we are talking about is another kind of woman! Just like Miss Sapphee, who restored our body during the Screwdriver arc! Besides, aren't you Kawaki-san's niece?! You are just Kawaki-san's family!"
"Eh? Is that so-aru?" Only then did Kagura let go of her mouth. She raised her head and looked at Gintoki, whose head was still bleeding.
"What do you think?!" Gintoki roared.
...
At the same time, Yoshiwara, Kawaki's room.
It was very rare that today, Kawaki did not stay in front of the computer to play games as usual. Of course, there was a reason why. Tsukuyo had yet to approve the budget for the new equipment.
Kawaki leaned against the living room window and looked up at the clear sky with a smile on his face. On the window sill was an empty wine glass and a bottle of white wine with the cap unscrewed.
"Brother Kawaki, Mom asked me to..." Seita pushed open the door and came in, but before he could say anything, he suddenly saw a new object in Kawaki's room - a shrine placed in the corner of the living room, "Brother Kawaki, is there such a thing in your room? Why did I not see it before?"
"There are many things in an adult's room that children don't discover," Kawaki answered casually.
"But I really don't have any impression of it. It's just like it was recently put there." As he spoke, Seita came to the shrine and carefully sized up the golden statue in it, "But then again, what kind of god is this? A little fox god with nine tails?"
"Who knows? Everyone says that Takamagahara has eight million gods. Who can tell who is who?" Kawaki answered without looking back, "But maybe this one is a little different."
"It's really rare. Brother Kawaki actually believes in these superstitious things." Seita asked in surprise, "But then again, can I worship this god? Will it give me a passing grade on the final semester test?"
"Probably not," Kawaki shrugged, "It's probably just going to make weird bugs appear in your lunch. It's better to memorize your multiplication tables than to do this kind of thing."
"I have memorized it completely!" Seita quickly patted his chest and replied, "This time, my mother asked me to come to you to recite the multiplication table! Please listen carefully! It will definitely surprise you!"
"Sorry, I don't have time to listen to you recite that kind of thing now. Next time." Kawaki lowered his head and glanced at the wine glass that had been filled for some reason. The corners of his mouth gently raised, and then he picked up the wine glass and drank it in one gulp.
After carefully thinking about it, Kawaki revealed a look of disgust and looked at the empty wine glass in his hand.
"As always... it's hard to swallow."
Just as Kawaki finished speaking, there was a slight "crack" sound behind him, and the pure gold statue in the shrine cracked from the middle.
"Brother Kawaki! The statue cracks!" Seita pointed at the statue and exclaimed.
"Get out of here," Kawaki turned around and said grumpily, "Otherwise, I'll throw you out."
"Tsk!" Seita spat and then turned to leave angrily. As he walked, he muttered, "Kami-sama must be disgusted with your attitude, and that's why the statue cracked! Kami-sama, you must punish him well!"
"Really, what an unlikeable little brat!" Kawaki shook his head and sighed. However, he soon discovered that the wine cup in his hand had miraculously filled up again.
Without any hesitation, he raised his cup again and drank up the wine in his cup. Kawaki revealed an even more disgusted expression.
"Why does it taste worse and worse every time?" Kawaki looked at the wine glass in his hand with a face full of disdain.
"Is that so?" Tsukuyo's cold voice suddenly came from outside the window.
"Eh? Why are you here, Tsukki?" Kawaki asked Tsukuyo, standing on the opposite side of the window, "Why are you holding my wine bottle?"
"No, nothing." An unnatural look flashed across Tsukuyo's face, and then she put the wine bottle back on the window sill.
"Speaking of which, your expression is very strange..." Kawaki propped up his chin and looked at Tsukuyo with a puzzled expression. Then, he suddenly thought of something and said, "Could it be...!"
"Nothing. I didn't do anything. I just happened to pass by." Tsukuyo silently turned her face away.
"Could it be that you suddenly wanted to shit on your way here and wanted to borrow the toilet? If that's the case, you should have said it earlier. Don't be shy. This kind of thing can happen to anyone." As he spoke, Kawaki retreated to the side and made space for Tsukuyo, "Alright, come on, use it as you please. Constipation is the natural enemy of women."
What Kawaki did not know was that when he had just said this, Tsukuyo's face had completely darkened, and even the veins on her forehead were constantly throbbing.
"Die!"
Without hesitation, Tsukuyo took out countless kunai and threw it at Kawaki.
"AHHHH!!!!"
...
On the other side, Gintoki and the other two had already returned to Yorozuya.
"But then again, I'm a little surprised." Shinpachi could not help but sigh, "That Kawaki-san actually has such a side. It suddenly changed my opinion of him a little. He has never made a woman cry... It sounds a bit strange."
"That... Did you misunderstand something?" Sitting on the sofa and watching the fortune-telling program hosted by Ana Ketsuno on TV, Gintoki said without turning his head, "That idiot has never made a woman cry, but those women wanted to kill him."
After a long silence, Shinpachi pushed up his glasses and took a deep breath.
"Isn't that just a pure scumbag?!"
"Didn't I say it before?" Gintoki waved his hand and continued without looking back, "That guy is just a pure scumbag."
"But, even if he is a scumbag, little uncle worked very hard yesterday."
"My Pandemonium-san!" Shinpachi, who thought of something, hugged his head and shouted sadly.
"_(´ཀ`」 ∠)Blargh..." Thinking of the scene where Shinpachi hugged the Pandemonion and exchanged love words, Kagura could not help but lower her head and directly vomit.
"Hey! It's so disgusting! You bastard!" Gintoki instantly jumped onto the sofa, pinched his nose and shouted with black lines on his head.
"Ah, sorry," Kagura wiped the saliva from the corner of her mouth, "I accidentally thought of something very disgusting. I really can't help it-aru. If you want to blame someone, blame Shinpachi-aru."
"It's too disgusting. It makes me want to vomit..." As he said that, Gintoki suddenly felt a burst of nausea. He lowered his head and also vomited, "_(´ཀ`」 ∠)Blargh..."
"Hey! What are you two doing? What are you two doing when others were stuck in beautiful memories?!" Shinpachi shouted angrily with veins popping out, but he couldn't hold back when he just finished speaking. "I also... _(´ཀ`」 ∠)Blargh..."
"You two made me want to vomit again-aru... _(´ཀ`」 ∠)Blargh..."
...
A week later, Yoshiwara.
"That, Kawaki-san..." Shinpachi pushed up his glasses and asked Kawaki, still immersed in the game, "Excuse me, what did you do to Ana Ketsuno's ex-husband? Why did he completely become a persistent stalker? Ana Ketsuno came to Yorozuya again to complain. She said she could see her ex-husband hiding near her recently and even showed infatuation when she beat him. The degree of stalking and infatuation was comparable to that of a gorilla and a masochistic ninja. Gin-san was so angry that he wanted to kill you...
"It's not a stalker!" Douman's voice suddenly came from the door of Kawaki, "It's the love hunter! No, that's wrong; it's Crystel's love hunter."
"I feel that this person has completely transformed into a gorilla. There is no longer any difference between that gorilla-stalker. What exactly happened?"
"I came here to thank you," Douman came to Kawaki's side and bowed deeply to him, "Thanks to the two love masters you found for me, I finally understood how stupid I was in love before. Thanks to the careful guidance of the two masters, I can now have intimate physical contact with Crystel every day(he was kicked away). I can feel that Crystel and I are becoming increasingly inseparable!"
"Ah, keep up the good work." Kawaki, who had just finished a game, turned his head and casually said to Douman.
"Then goodbye. Crystel still has a live broadcast later. Watching the live broadcast is much better than watching it on the DVD recorded. Of course, people like Seimei wouldn't understand. After all, the experience gap is too big. I won this round. Ahhahahaha..."
Looking at Douman, who was laughing while leaving, Shinpachi twitched the corner of his mouth and looked at Kawaki, "Kawaki-san, what's going on with the two love masters? Could it be that they are that gorilla and the natto-masochistic woman?"
"The teaching is excellent, right?" Kawaki squinted his eyes.
"Excellent, my ass!!!!"
(Onmyoji arc, finished.)
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