Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 447 The Allure of Money to Human Beings Is Not Just Talk!
[The so-called superpower is the ability to do things that ordinary people cannot do.]
[My name is Kusuo...Kawaki and I am a person with superpowers. Although I have never said it, it is a fact, even if it is regarded as a new setting. It doesn't matter!]
[You can bend the spoon without touching it with your hands. You can win the lottery as long as you want. It is a dreamlike life...]
[All in all, because I can do things that ordinary people can't do, so... it's normal for me to suddenly turn into a cat.]
"Meow!(What the hell!)"
In the small forest in front of an ordinary shrine, an orange-red cat stood on two feet, covered its little head with two paws, and yelled in cat language frantically, "Meow, meow, meow, meow! (At times like this, It's too late to add new settings! What's going on?! Why a cat?! Why did I become a cat?!)"
[Well, I've finished explaining the new settings to readers for you, it's time for me to go back.] On the side, a young man wearing a green high school uniform with pink hair and green glasses on his face looked at Kawaki, who had turned into a very cute cat with rare, soft, orange-red hair, and raised his hand and said... no, telepathically.
"Meow!(Wait! Bro!)" Kawaki quickly raised his right paw, "Meow! (You must have a way! Help me! Aren't we all like sextuplets' brothers?!)"
[It's too much trouble, I'm very busy. Now that the anime and manga have ended, I, who is active in various fandoms and has great popularity, cannot compare to an unpopular protagonist like you. Goodbye!]
After saying that, the pink-haired boy disappeared instantly.
"Meeooow----!(Heeey-----!! Was that last sentence mockery?! It's mockery! Are you looking down on me?! You bastard!)" Kawaki roared angrily, "Meeooow!(Heeey-----!!!)"
...
'Finished, it's really over...' Kawaki, who had turned into a cat, strolled on the streets of Kabukicho. At the same time, he thought uneasily, 'I just went out to buy a game. Why did I become a cat? Is it retribution? Cat's revenge? Is the Cat Sage taking revenge on me for not paying attention to a wild cat begging for food when I encountered it on the road?'
'I know I was wrong! I was really wrong!' Kawaki stopped. He stood on his feet and scratched the wall of the house beside him, 'Cat Sage! I know I was wrong! In the future, if I meet a wild cat asking for food on the street, I will definitely not ignore it! I beg you! Turn me back! It's impossible to grasp the game controller with such claws!!'
However, at this moment, Kawaki subconsciously felt all the hair on his body stand up. He unconsciously opened his eyes wide and his face was full of cold sweat. He slowly turned his head back.
He saw several men holding nets and wearing yellow coats, with white cloth belts with "Kabukicho Neighborhood Association" written on them slung across their bodies, staring at him with kind faces.
"...Hand over your balls!!" Several men said in unison.
Although the synchronization rate with this body had not reached 100%, Kawaki still tried his best... to escape, turning around and running away without any hesitation.
'What's going on?!' As he ran, Kawaki thought, 'Why did the protagonist encounter such a supernatural event? Don't joke around! What should I do with this kind of body? The synchronization rate has just reached 1%! At least give me 2%! It's really difficult to walk with four legs! Give me a few more days to get used to it!'
As he was thinking, Kawaki had already fled into a small alley. However, Kawaki discovered that two cat catchers had blocked the alley before him!
'Pincer attack?' Kawaki stopped in his tracks and looked at the few catcatchers who were chasing after him with evil smiles on their faces.
"Hand over your f*ck balls obediently!" The few catcatchers surrounded Kawaki and waved the net in their hands without any explanation.
"Meow! (I have no choice but to fight, even though I'm still not very skilled in using my four feet...)" As he spoke, Kawaki stood up with his two feet. At the same time, the sharp nails in his two front claws were exposed, "Meow! (But I am so proficient in two feet that they are carved into my bones! Bastards!)"
As he shouted, Kawaki jumped up and rushed to the lower half of the two cat catchers in front of him, "Meow(My balls? What a joke!) Meow! (The one who should be castrated should be you dregs!)"
What Kawaki didn't know was that from the eaves above him, a cat named Hoichi, who had black and white hair and was huge but had no ears, had been watching him. He has been watching himself since he was walking down the street.
Moreover, at the moment when he was blocked in the alley and seemed to be helpless, Hoichi was prepared to jump down and rescue him, but because he saw Kawaki standing up on both feet and preparing to counterattack, Hoichi stopped.
Thanks to this, Hoichi watched a battle between humans and cats that was absolutely shocking to hear...
This ordinary alley that was far away from the crowd constantly emitted the screams of the cat catcher, cat cries, and the sound of houses being smashed one after another.
The sound did not last for long, and it only lasted for about half a minute.
'Really. Do you really think that I will be easy to deal with just because I become a cat?' Kawaki sat on the ground and looked at the group of cat catchers that had fainted. He licked his paws and thought to himself, 'A bunch of idiots.'
However, suddenly, Kawaki reacted and quickly stopped his actions. The paws in front of him were covered in sweat. [Meow! ] [What happened?! Why can't you help licking your paws Is it because after such a period of time, the synchronization rate has increased?! How can it be repaired]
'Meow!(Yato! Get out of here! Is that you?! It's you! It's a collaboration with your crew, right?! Right?!)'
(TL note: Yato is the titular stray god of the series (Noragami) who wants to build his own shrine.)
However, at this moment, Kawaki's stomach suddenly rumbled.
'Ah, I'm hungry...' Kawaki thought helplessly, 'I have no choice but to find a way to fill my stomach first. If I go to Yoshiwara now, I will definitely not be recognized. Even if I am recognized, I will definitely be laughed at by that stinky woman. Forget it, forget it. Let's see if these people have food or money on them first...'
At the same time, Kawaki got up and slowly walked toward the unconscious cat catchers on the ground.
...
"Meow...(1, 2, 3...) Meow!(What luck! A total of 100,000 yen!)" Kawaki took out everyone's wallet, took out all the money inside, and placed it on the ground, "Meow! (Today food should not be a problem.)"
"Hey, boy." A strong male cat voice sounded from behind Kawaki.
Kawaki stood up and looked over. He saw a big cat with no ears standing behind him.
"What's wrong? Are you hungry too?" Kawaki asked doubtfully. Then, he stretched out his claws and pushed the bills in front of him to Houichi, "Take it. Today, I have already sworn to the Cat Sage that I will not ignore the wild cats that are asking for food. It's a good day for you. Take these, buy some good cat food, and go to the pet store. Take good care of yourself, look at your hair, it's almost tangled."
"This kind of thing is useless to the wild cats." Houichi snorted and reminded, "Are you new here?"
"Useless?" Kawaki sneered. Then he opened his mouth and picked up the money on the ground with his mouth. At the same time, he waved his little paw, "Come with me. It is your lucky day to meet me today. Today I will let you see how tempting money is to humans. As long as it is for money, humans will do anything."
After that, Kawaki directly turned around and walked step by step out of the alley.
"Wait..." Houichi wanted to stop him, but Kawaki had already stepped out of the alley.
Seeing this, Houichi could only follow quickly.
...
In a certain restaurant.
Kawaki and Houichi were squatting opposite each other on an empty seat. The guests at the side were all watching the two people... No, two cats.
Kawaki flipped through the menu in front of him and asked without raising his head, "What do you want to eat? Is there anything you don't like?"
"That... that..."
"Customer, are you ready to order?" The waitress on the side had a kind smile on her face as she bent her body and asked in an extremely cordial manner.
"Haven't you chosen yet? You?" Kawaki raised his head and closed the menu. He looked at Houichi who was facing him with a strange expression, "It can't be that this is your first time coming to this kind of place to eat, right? Are you nervous?"
"No... I'm just..."
"I know, I know," Kawaki shook his head and chuckled, "What a shy boss. I have no choice but to order for you this time."
After saying that, Kawaki patted the menu with his claws and looked at the waitress next to him, "Meow! (Give me all of them!)"
Then, Kawaki pointed at the money on the table next to him and dipped his claws into the water in the cup beside him. He wrote on the table, [Give me a copy of all of them. Less salt.]
"I got it!" The waitress shouted excitedly. She then turned around and rushed to the kitchen.
"So amazing! This is the first time I have such a simple and smart cat!" A female customer covered her mouth and said in surprise.
"Me too!" a male customer echoed, "This is the first time I've seen a cat who brought money to the restaurant to order a meal!"
"Can I raise this cat? Mom?" A little boy pointed at Kawaki and looked at his mother.
"No, this kind of cat is not something we can afford." The young mother lowered her head and scolded in a low voice.
"So cute!" A girl excitedly reached out her hand and touched Kawaki's furry head.
"Meow! (What are you doing?! Smelly woman!)" Kawaki instantly hid to the side and cried out angrily.
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Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 448 At Least Try It Before Saying Whether You Like It or Not!
Houichi looked at Kawaki and his heart could not calm down for a long time.
'What kind of monster cat is this?!' Houichi complained in his mind.
"Why aren't you eating?" Kawaki stopped what he was doing and looked at Houichi with a puzzled face, "Is it not to your liking? Do you want me to order you something else?"
"Ah, no need." Houichi quickly replied.
"Then eat quickly. You can eat as much as you want today. You don't have to be polite with me." Kawaki said politely, "I'll take you to the pet shop later to get your hair trimmed."
"No, no, I'm not used to eating in this kind of place. Goodbye." Houichi turned around and was about to leave.
"Wait a minute," Kawaki's tone instantly changed as he said coldly, "Is this how you behave when someone kindly invites you to dinner? Stay and eat obediently, otherwise...I'll kill you..."
Houichi, who was frightened by Kawaki's imposing manner, turned around and looked at Kawaki with a face full of sweat, 'This... Where did this kid come from?! What happened? This imposing manner!'
"Hey, don't dilly-dally. Sit down and eat quickly." Kawaki reminded again, "I swore before. Do you want me to break my oath after I swear it?"
Hearing that, although Houichi was unwilling, he could only sit down obediently and eat mouthful after mouthful.
...
"Please come again!" The young waitress pulled open the door, bent down, and affectionately shouted to Kawaki and Houichi who were walking out of the door one after another.
"I'm full, I'm full," Kawaki said in a relaxed tone, "Let's go. I'll take you to the next place."
"That..."
"Huh?" Kawaki stopped and glanced at Houichi behind him, "Are you not willing?"
"No... no, no. I just feel a little embarrassed to let you spend so much money." Houichi quickly replied.
"It's okay. It's not my money anyway," Kawaki said nonchalantly, "And I also want to take a bath. I haven't taken a good bath in this body. Let's go."
...
In a pet shop in Edo.
Kawaki and Houichi were enjoying the scrubbing service of the cute girls.
"Ah~ I didn't expect that after turning into a cat, I wouldn't even need to bathe myself~" Kawaki closed his eyes and sighed. However, he suddenly felt something. He covered his butt and retreated to the side. He then angrily shouted at the girl in front of him, "Meow!! (Where are you touching?! I can wash it myself!)"
"Manager, this cat doesn't seem to like being touched by others." The girl said to the other young girl who was cleaning Houichi.
"After all, it's a rare cat that can bring its own money to the pet store. It's normal to have some mysophobia." The girl who was called the store manager replied without raising her head.
"Ah, so it's like that," The girl turned back and looked at Kawaki with a smile, "Sorry, little kitty-chan. I will pay attention to not touching that place. Give me another chance."
"Meow...(That's more like it. Pay attention to it. Not all cats like to be touched in that kind of place.)" Only then did Kawaki come forward again and enjoy the girl's scrubbing service again.
...
"Please come again~" The two girls stood outside the door, bending over to bid farewell to Kawaki and Houichi, who had their hair shining under the sun after taking a bath.
"How is it? Not bad, right?" Kawaki sniffed himself, "It's become more fragrant."
"That... I..." Houichi stopped and smiled awkwardly.
"I understand. If you want to leave, then leave." Kawaki stopped and shook his head. He said without turning his head, "But if you have any difficulties next time, you can come to Yoshiwara to find me. That is my territory."
"Yoshiwara also has stray cats?!" Houichi was surprised.
"Of course," Kawaki said matter-of-factly. Then, he raised his paw and waved it, "Goodbye. After eating and washing up, we should go back and do some happy things."
'Happy things?!' Houichi's entire cat body was in a bad mood, 'What happy things can you do in Yoshiwara?! Could it be... is there a shop in Yoshiwara that specializes in serving cats?!'
"Do you want to go with me?" Kawaki suddenly thought of something and turned around to ask, "It seems like you haven't done that kind of happy thing in a long time, right?"
"Wait... wait! Could it be that the happy things that you are referring to are that happy things?!" Houichi shouted in horror.
Kawaki smiled, "Yes, it's a very happy [battle]~"
"You are really amazing..."
...
Late at night, Yoshiwara, Kawaki's room.
Two cats jumped in from the window one after the other.
"This is..." Houichi, who was following behind Kawaki, glanced at the layout of the room and looked at Kawaki, who was standing on both legs and walking toward the corner of the fridge step by step.
"My... the room of an acquaintance of mine." Kawaki answered without looking back, "What do you want to drink? Do you drink coke?"
"C-Coke?!" Houichi hurriedly stopped him, "No! Coke is not good! Coke is not good for cats' health!"
Kawaki used his paw to get a can of Coke and Oolong tea, "If you don't want to drink it, just drink Oolong tea. There are only two kinds. Although I really want to treat you to a drink, the wine I had secretly hidden before was discovered."
"Aren't you a cat?! Can cats drink?!"
"Do you need to be so surprised?" Kawaki opened the can of coke with his claws and lowered his head to lick it, "What's wrong with a cat? Can't cats drink? Don't say something it's bad without trying it! Remember it!"
"Well... I should be your senior when it comes to being a cat, right?" Houichi was a little speechless.
"Then you are really a failure as a senior," Kawaki answered casually and then walked to the computer in the living room, "Next, I have to do a very happy thing. If you don't want to do it, you can just watch TV or something."
"Here?!"
"Ah, it's here." Kawaki nodded and jumped onto the table. He turned on the computer with his cat claws and sat down in front of the game controller, "My happiest thing is about to begin."
"So the happy thing is the game?" Houichi shouted.
"Yes." Kawaki nodded and then whispered to himself, "But I don't know if using such claws will be the same as usual, but it should be fine. Just treat it as playing with two fingers."
"Tsk, to think that I was looking forward to it." Houichi turned his face away and spat in a low voice.
"What did you say?" Kawaki looked at Houichi in confusion, "Did you say anything just now? Do you want to play? There are also dual modes."
"No, no need. I have to go back." After saying that, Houichi turned around and jumped onto the windowsill. Then, he thought to himself, 'I originally thought that this monster cat could be used, but... it really wouldn't work.'
"So it's like that... then, bye," Kawaki replied without turning his head.
"By the way, what's your name?"
"Kawa... no, Kawa can do." Kawaki replied, "What about you? My first cat acquaintance."
"Houichi." Houichi turned around and jumped down.
...
Tsukuyo should never forget the scene she saw when she opened Kawaki's door. The orange-red cat was squatting in front of the computer, its two front paws constantly controlling the game controller.
"Meow(Oh, so it's Tsukki.)" Kawaki turned his head and glanced at the person who had come. He casually responded and then turned his head again to stare at the monitor.
But suddenly, Kawaki reacted and quickly stopped what he was doing. He turned around and rushed toward the window.
'Sh*t! I was too excited to forget the fact that I am a cat now!' Kawaki thought as he ran, 'It's okay if she doesn't recognize me. But if I am recognized, I will be laughed at by this stinky woman for the rest of my life!'
Kawaki jumped up and jumped onto the windowsill. Then he jumped down and quickly disappeared into the crowd.
Only Tsukuyo, who was stunned and had not yet reacted, was left in the room.
After a long time, Tsukuyo gradually came back to her senses and muttered in disbelief, "The cats nowadays... are really amazing..."
"No, no, no, no," Suddenly thinking of something, Tsukuyo hurriedly shook her head, "Now is not the time to talk about this. Where did that idiot otaku go? He actually did not come back until now..."
"Gather!" Tsukuyo closed the door again and shouted in the corridor.
As soon as she finished speaking, dozens of Hyakka ladies appeared in front of Tsukuyo.
"Any news?" Tsukuyo asked.
"Chief, according to our investigation, Kawaki-sama disappeared here in the end," a Hyakka said as she took out a map and pointed at the location of the circle drawn on it, "In front of Kabukicho's temple."
"Well, I got it." Tsukuyo took the map, "3rd Division and 4th Division are left behind to be responsible for Yoshiwara's patrol, the rest will follow me."
"Yes!" xn
But this search was destined to be fruitless...
...
The next day, after Kawaki woke up from the floor of the shrine, he yawned.
'Ah, this really won't work.' Kawaki licked his paws and washed his face with his paws. He thought helplessly, 'Not to mention recovery, the synchronization rate has increased to an incredible level. I thought I could find some clues here, but it was really useless. Sigh...'
'What's next for this work? It has completely become a work of another theme, right?'
Just as Kawaki was lost in his thoughts, he suddenly noticed something from the corner of his eye. It was... Houichi, who was squatting in front of the shrine!
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