[Train Samurai]: Fallen Angel Samurai-san, I'm a pathetic man who has never had a girlfriend in sixteen years. I don't know how to deal with women. Can you teach me? What should I do? I'd appreciate your feminine opinion.
On the other end of the screen, a pair of hands that looked like they were utterly useless was typing fast on a laptop.
[Fallen Angel Samurai]: What a cute boy. Okay, let me teach you hand in hand.
After clicking send, the owner of this pair of lame hands finally couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Hahaha, is this guy idiot? Does he really think I'm a girl? Hahaha..."
"Hey! Hurry up and settle the bills for me!" The customer in front of Madao scolded.
…
Just when Shinpachi had just finished reading the first message and had not had time to reply, Madao sent another message…
[Fallen Angel Samurai]: Do you want to meet in reality next time?
"Uh, what's the matter, I suddenly feel that this person makes people feel very uncomfortable..." Shinpachi could not help but feel a chill.
[Fruit Chinpo Samurai]: Where do you want to meet?
"Why is this Fruit Punch Samurai not letting me go?!" Shinpachi could not help but complain loudly, "Didn't you say that only Samurai's belief can be discussed here"
[Fallen Angel Samurai]: I'm obviously lying, you are a moron! Wallow in porn for the rest of your life!!
[Fruit Chinpo Samurai]: Just kill yourself... Just kill yourself... Just kill yourself... Just kill yourself... Just kill yourself... Just kill yourself... Just kill yourself... Just kill yourself... Just kill yourself…
"What are these people doing?" The corners of Shinpachi's eyes twitched, but when he looked carefully again. He suddenly found something different. "Ah, look carefully... It turned out that this was not [Fruit Punch Samurai], but [Fruit Chinpo Samurai]! "
(TL Note: "Punch" is "ponchi" in Japanese pronunciation. "Ponchi" spelled backward is "Chinpo" which means "pen*s.")
On the other side of the screen, the owner of [Fruit Chinpo Samurai]'s account was using his gorilla hand to frantically swipe the keyboard…
…
[Fruit Punch Samurai]: Who are you?! You actually dare to use a name similar to mine. You rude fellow!
[Fruit Chinpo Samurai]: It's confusing. Change your name right now!!
Looking at the two people who were starting to quarrel but could not see the end, Shinpachi could not help but complain again, "Enough! How can such an indifferent dispute be so intense?!"
Shinpachi finally felt a little tired. He lay down on his back and sighed softly, "Sure enough, in this era where you only care about yourself, how could anyone care about this little trouble of mine~"
Just as Shinpachi was lost in his thoughts, the computer's message sounded again.
[Silver Samurai]: Train Samurai, what are you afraid of? What are you panicking about?
Seeing this name, Shinpachi was shocked, "[Silver Samurai]... No way! "
[Silver Samurai]: Are you afraid of failing your date? Are you afraid of being dumped? Are you so worried about being hurt? You idiot!
"Gin-san! Why... Why do you know..." Shinpachi stood up in disbelief and looked around, "Could it be here?"
[Silver Samurai]: There are two things that people fear, and that is death and humiliation! I feel that those who are not afraid of death are idiots, but I will never laugh at those who are not afraid of shame! I like these kinds of idiots! Go! Train Samurai! Don't be afraid of shame! Train Samurai! Even if you lose someone, you will become strong at the same time! Go! Train Samurai!
Seeing this, Shinpachi finally mustered up the courage to walk out, but he didn't notice [Silver Samurai] messages after that…
[Silver Samurai]: By the way, I, Gin-san, got a cute girlfriend by doing that. She's an assassin. She wears glasses and is really good-looking~ She's incredibly cute~ Seriously. She's begging by my side right now~. (Heart)
Shinpachi would never know,
The text he saw was from a pair of pig trotters…
[FPS squatting samurai at home]: To add, there is only a sow upstairs.
[Silver Samurai]: Who is a female pig? You bastard! Only Gin-san can call a female pig!
[FPS squatting samurai at home]: What is this? Is this special pig meat?
[Silver Samurai]: Eh? Special... Are you saying that I am Gin-san's special meat [Beep—]? Ah, why, why am I getting excited!
[FPS squatting samurai at home]: No, no one said that…
[Silver Samurai]: I didn't expect to meet someone who knows me so well on this Internet. You're not bad!
[FPS squatting samurai at home]: Not bad your head! No one said that!
[Silver Samurai]: PS: Last mention, anyone who sees this message has to make 10,000 posts in the thread titled [Sacchan and Gin-san are dating]. If not, Sacchan will kill you four days later at midnight. This is no joke~ PS: One of my friends went missing on the fourth day after reading this~.
[FPS squatting samurai at home]: A real female pig! PS: If the people who see this here don't come to Yoshiwara XX shop to spend a million yen, they will be dealt with by Yoshiwara's [Hyakka] two days later. When they wake up on the third day, they will find that they will become naturally wavy hair, whether top or bottom. PS of PS: This is true! I have a friend because he didn't come to consume, his hair, and even his personality became naturally wavy hair…
The gorilla and Zura who saw these two messages felt as if they had been struck by lightning…
[Fruit Chinpo Samurai]: I say, Fruit Punch Samurai, have you seen it? ! If you see it, can you cooperate with me to go to Yoshihara and forward it 10,000 times!
[Fruit Punch Samurai]: Okay! We need to discuss it! Let's meet in person at one o'clock in the afternoon, I will wait for you in the front of Ieyasu statue!
[Fruit Chinpo Samurai]: Alright! Then I'll be holding a Fruit Punch in my left hand! Fruit Punch Samurai! Make sure to hold the Fruit Punch in your right hand!
[Fruit Punch Samurai]: Understood!
…
"Hey, Tsu-chan, I want to go out for a while~" Kawaki walked to the door of Tsukuyo's room that was half-closed and shouted inside.
However, there was no reply for a long time. Kawaki curiously poked his head in and saw Tsukuyo carefully tapping something on a laptop.
"What are you doing?" Kawaki asked curiously.
"Ah!" Tsukuyo didn't expect Kawaki to come in at this time. She couldn't help but be shocked. "It's nothing, I'm just trying to find a way to get some guests for the girls who can't find them, but I'm not very proficient in this..."
"Huh?" Kawaki glanced at the screen curiously, "Not a bad method. Use the Internet to attract guests~"
"Oh right, what did you just say?" Tsukuyo asked.
"It's nothing. I just want to go out~" Kawaki waved his hand and said casually, "I thought of saying hello to you when I saw your door was open."
"I see. But this time it's best not to make any more amnesia episodes.
Seeing Tsukuyo's slightly threatening expression, Kawaki swallowed his saliva. He quickly patted his chest and promised, "No, no! Absolutely not!"
…
"Hey, hey, is that kid going to fight a war?" Gintoki looked at Shinpachi, who was wearing Terakado Tsuu's personal guard uniform and holding a wooden sword not far away, and continued, "There is an unusual aura around him..."
"So that's how it is. No wonder Shin-chan has been acting a little strange recently."
"According to the time mentioned in the letter, that girl is almost there too!" Kagura took out a letter that she had secretly stolen from Shinpachi.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Kawaki had just finished buying the game, but he found Gintoki, Kagura, and Otae on the side of the road.
"Ah, isn't this Kawaki-san?" Otae turned around and greeted Kawaki with a smile.
"Pachi wants to abandon Gin-chan and climb up the ladder of adults by himself-aru," Kagura concluded very well.
"Huh?" Kawaki did not understand at all. However, when he looked into the distance and saw Shinpachi with cat ears, he instantly understood, "So that's how it is~ Shinpachi-kun went on a date. But, what are the three of you doing here?"
"That's it, let's not be a third wheel here," Ginto said, turning around and preparing to leave, "Let this bastard treat us to some good food. I only need three glasses of strawberry parfait..."
"Then I want an Italian mellow cuttlefish egg soy sauce durian flavor-aru!" Kagura raised her hand and said.
"What kind of flavor is that!" Kawaki couldn't help but ridicule.
"Then I can barely be satisfied with the codfish sandwich with cheese, mushroom, soda, and natto flavor-aru!" Kagura said again.
"What kind of strange flavor is this again! And the main point is not this!" Kawaki was really impressed by the young lady in front of him, "Don't think about treats or anything recently. After the last Amnesia chapter, my activity funds have been deducted to a certain limit. Now, I just bought this [Counter-Stike Rules of Survival Crysis Half-Life Hunt Showdown Horizon Zero Dawn], so I'm out of money..."
"Your game name is similar to the strange flavor that Kagura mentioned!" Gintoki complained.
"That girl may one day bear the Shimura family's heir. I want to see her with my eyes." Otae crossed her arms and said.
"You're getting hasty. You're acting like a sister-in-law." Gintoki waved his hand and said.
"What would you do if that girl's name was Ken? It would be the birth of a great comedian." Otae retorted.
PS: Ken Shimura is a Japanese comedian.
PS of PS: Otae's father's name Shimura Ken is a spoof of this artist.
PS of PS of PS: You may know, but I just want to add a PS. If you have the ability, then hit me~
"No woman is named Ken!" Gintoki retorted loudly.
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But at this time, Kagura pointed to the distance and shouted.
"Oh, here she comes!"
In an instant, it attracted the attention of Kawaki, Gintoki, and Otae.
Short blue hair and white cat ears, this was the first impression Kawaki had of this girl.
"Has Shinpachi been stimulated? Isn't he used to seeing this kind of cat ear? I mean the one downstairs in your house..." Kawaki muttered.
But before Gintoki could answer, Otae couldn't help but spit, "Wait! What kind of stuff is that! Isn't that cat ears?! I never heard of it!"
"Is this the so-called love that can transcend the star? Shinpachi has really grown up~" Gintoki replied.
"What a joke! I hate cats the most! I'm a 100% dog lover!"As she said that, Otae rushed out to stop them.
"Wait a minute. Actually, there is no difference between dogs and cats. And that might be dog ears." Gintoki held Otae's hand and stopped her.
"Even a dog can't do! If we marry a dog, then our Shimura family's heir will become a dog!" Otae turned her head and retorted loudly.
"You are too sophistry! Do you want to subvert the concept of genetics!"
"Hey, you two, be quiet..." Kawaki could not help but say, "You're thinking too far ahead. It's just a meeting. It's just to let Shinpachi-kun enter the adult world. Moreover, this is not the Gintama crew. There's no need to worry about PTA. Don't worry."
"Don't worry my ass!" Otae said angrily, "Even if this is not the Gintama crew and we don't have to worry about PTA. He can't enter the ladder of adults with that cat! This will become the black spot of our Shimura family! It will be a black spot that can't be washed away for the rest of our lives!"
"You simply can't let go of your little brother! I originally thought that Shinpachi was too dependent on you, but it seems to be the opposite! You are a bro-con!" Gintoki roared.
"Who are you calling a bro-con! A super popular woman like me has no time to control anyone!"
"Then you are a dog control!"
…
On the other side, behind the Ieyasu statue.
Two Samurai with fruits in their right hands and a bamboo hat stood side by side.
Finally, the gorilla wearing a bamboo hat couldn't help but say to the person beside him, "Um, are you Fruit Punch Samurai?"
"Eh?"
"What's going on? It turns out to be right next to you!"
"Because we agreed that you would take the Fruit Punch with your left hand, but now you are holding it in your right hand..." Katsura explained.
"Ah, I'm sorry. I thought it was the left side of the person I was looking at," Kondo said with an embarrassed smile.
"No, I was really rude on the computer forum," As he spoke, Katsura took off his bamboo hat, "I am the Fruit Punch Samurai."
"However, something big has happened this time. I can't help but repost 10,000 times. I have to go to the designated Yoshiwara store to spend a million yen. Ah, I am the fruit..." As Kondo spoke, he also took off his bamboo hat.
"Eh?" * 2
"AHH!!!!" × 2
…
"Here's your lemon tea. Enjoy." The waitress placed the tea in front of Eromesu.
Not far away, Kawaki and the other three were sitting at another table. The four of them were wearing sunglasses and holding newspapers and magazines, secretly observing Shinpachi and Eromesu.
"Following them to a place like this..." Gintoki whispered, "Isn't it very rude to interfere in other people's love talk."
Kagura/ Otae, "Gin-chan you shut up aru!/ you shut up!"
Otae/ Kagura, "This is a problem related to our Shimura family's heir!/ Do you want to lose an errand boy?!"
"What are you arguing about? Can the two of you not talk together!" Gintoki roared.
"Hey, hey, why is it okay?" Kawaki could not help but sigh and continued, "But it has nothing to do with me, right? Why am I forced to be dragged here to do such meaningless things?"
"Shut up! It has to do with you!" Gintoki shouted, "Shinpachi went to you to ask for advice! You must have said some irrelevant nonsense!"
"Hey? Why are you..." Before he could finish, Kawaki felt Otae burst out with strong killing intent. Kawaki wiped the cold sweat on his forehead and said, "Actually, I didn't say anything. Do you believe me?"
"I believe your head! Your nonsense is only a little better than Zura's!" Gintoki retorted, "Also when I heard Shinpachi talk about the amnesia chapter, you seemed to say something incredible in front of anchor Ketsuno..."
"Huh? Is there such a thing? I don't remember, because I lost my memory at that time." As he said that, Kawaki scratched his head and smiled.
"Is this excuse so easy to use? Do you need me to make you lose your memory forever? You bastard!" Gintoki said angrily.
Looking at Gintoki who was rubbing his hands together, Kawaki unconsciously swallowed his saliva, but suddenly thought of something. He took out a signature of anchor Ketsuno from his pocket.
"Is this okay?" Kawaki handed the signature to Gintoki.
"I forgive you!" Gintoki put the signature into his pocket. It was not the kimono pocket, but the innermost layer of clothes.
"Hey! Aren't you too easily satisfied?" Kagura said in a rare serious tone.
Kawaki took a sip of coffee and was just about to nod when he heard Kagura-chan add another sentence.
"At least it must be anchor Ketsuno's fresh underwear to satisfy you-aru!"
"Pfft!" Kawaki spat out all the coffee.
"No, that is too stimulating for me!" Gintoki said righteously.
"Do you have to act so innocent? It's disgusting!" Kawaki retorted loudly, "What do you mean satisfied? Satisfy what? It's too disgusting! I don't want to retort anymore! If Shinpachi wasn't here, I wouldn't want to play this role!"
[Foreign Voice]: In fact, you can leave it to me to retort…
"Shinpachi-san..." Seeing Shinpachi drinking coffee with his eyes, Eromesu couldn't help but remind him softly, "That's the eyes~ Shinpachi-san~"
"Eh?" Shinpachi finally woke up from his fantasy, "Ah! It's hot!"
As he shouted, he threw the cup out and spilled the tea on his pants.
"Hey, Shinpachi is good. He deliberately sprinkled the tea on his pants and then attracted the girls to wipe it for him. At the same time, the two of them had some physical contact. This was not taught to him!" Seeing this scene, Kawaki couldn't help but say.
"As long as it's a hairy boy, he will naturally learn a skill," Gintoki said as he looked at Otae beside him, "Look, Shinpachi-kun is already very outstanding. It's really not good for us to hinder him here."
"Shut up!" Otae's fierce gaze made Kawaki and Gintoki shut their mouths at the same time.
…
"Are you alright? What happened to you? Did you get scalded?" Eromesu squatted on the ground and carefully wiped Shinpachi's wet pants with a handkerchief.
"I'm... I'm okay..." Realizing that he had lost his composure, Shinpachi quickly replied. 'I'm not okay!' Shinpachi added in his heart, 'Your fervent gaze has scorched my heart! Cat ears are too evil! Why would such a cute girl have such a cute thing on her? To a certain extent, this is a weapon!'
Just as Shinpachi began to think about it again, Eromesu had already sat back down in her seat.
"I always wanted to thank you in person... Actually... I still want to... with you..."
Looking at Eromesu who was talking and pouring tea into her eyes, Shinpachi reminded her, "That's the eyes..."
"Eh?" Eromesu reacted and pretended to be affected. She then said shyly, "What am I doing? I'm sorry~ I am..."
Eromesu's tone changed and she put on a very shy expression, "It's really strange~ I feel like the deer are rambling in my heart~ Hey~"
After saying that, she stuck out her tongue and posed like a money-seeking cat…
…
Seeing this scene, Otae and Kagura tore the magazine in their hands at the same time.
"What are the two of them doing?" Kawaki asked.
"They just feel jealous when they see a girl who is completely different from them. Don't worry about it," Gintoki replied.
"Who are you calling jealous?" With that, Otae slapped Gintoki's head on the table.
"No... I said I was jealous..." Gintoki got up and said. At the same time, Kawaki handed a box of napkins to Gintoki. Perhaps he was afraid that blood would splash on his side later.
…
"You put on the cat ears I gave you~," Eromesu said with some joy, "I'm so happy~ I took the time to pick them out. It was always my dream to walk with someone I admired wearing matching clothes~."
After saying that, Eromesu finally realized something and subconsciously covered her mouth, "I'm sorry~ I subconsciously said it... Can you forgive me?"
…
Seeing this scene, Otae and Kagura went crazy again, continuously smashing the table in front of them.
"What the hell are you guys doing? Don't overdo it, okay? Did you guys hear... Oh!" Gintoki was punched by Otae before he could finish his sentence.
"What's going on? What's going on with my current mood? I feel like that girl is making me super angry! What should I do? What should I do?" Otae shouted as she punched Gintoki.
Meanwhile, Kagura was crazily grabbing her chest and shouting at the same time, "There's something black in my heart-aru! Get rid of it! Purge the darkness!"
When Kawaki saw what happened to Gintoki, he obediently did not say anything. He acted like a little transparent person on the side and was ready to escape at any time.
After seeing the two of them punching Gintoki even more fiercely, Kawaki prepared to rub off the soles of his feet. However, he had just moved 0.01 cm when he was discovered by these two ferocious creatures…
Thus, besides Gintoki, the unlucky Kawaki was also included in being hammered ...
Please give this novel 5 stars review and power stone ;)
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