Chapter 17: Chapter17
I hid out in my tent; not wanting to see anyone. No one from my old pack, no one from my new pack, and especially not Lincoln.
I wasn't mad at Lincoln – not after what he told me about his past – but I just needed a bit of time on my own, to deal with the grieve I was feeling.
What Jacob did was inexcusable, yet, he had been a large part of my life. I grew up with Jacob, he was my closest friend.
He was family. He stuck up for me when I used to be bullied. He drove me to and from school, even after he dropped out to work fully time.
He was the main constant after my father died. And, suddenly, he was dead I curled up in my sleeping bag, soft tears staining the pillow.
I hugged Darius close to my chest, wondering if Lincoln's childhood had been so horrible why he had kept the bear.
But as soon as I began to think of Lincoln's past, I thought of what happened to him, then what Jacob did. It made me cry; hard.
So, I tried to distract myself, by thinking of nice things. I'd think of something simple, like my favourite food.
My favourite food was pasta. So I'd think of pasta, which would lead me to that time that I made pasta for Lincoln.
Thinking of that led me to think of Lincoln, which led me back – once more – to what he did to Jacob, and why. It was a vicious circle.
When night was drawing close, I began to get uncomfortable.
The Full Moon was rising. I swallowed a deep lump in my throat; both from the crying and from the fast approaching fear. Shaking myself, I got out the tent.
Lincoln was waiting outside the tent for me. I knew he had been there; he had been for about an hour previous.
I assumed he wanted to be near me, but not actually with me. I felt the same towards him. "I'm sorry" Lincoln whispered to me, as he got closer.
I smiled sadly, and took a step back. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Lincoln.
You did what everyone else would have done in the situation.
I don't blame you, nor do I love you any less because of what happened or because of what you told me. However, I need some time to grieve the friend I once knew. So, please, just allow me some time".
Lincoln's jaw set, and he gave me a small nod. His face was unreadable, like always, but I was so desperate to see what he was feeling.
But Lincoln was a closed book; his page very much kept private.
I wanted him to understand that I didn't blame him – I blamed Jacob – so I got onto my tip-toes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Just a small peck, to let him know I cared.
"I don't want you to be on your own during the shift" Lincoln said, chewing the inside of his cheek – in what I assumed was worry.
I'll stay with her" a voice from behind us said. We both turned to see Beta Strider standing quietly; his large arms crossed over his chest.
His face was hard also, with a look of complete boredom. He looked anything but caring, so I wasn't sure why he was volunteering his help. Lincoln didn't understand either.
"You've voice your dislike of my mate on many occasions, and now, suddenly, you want to help her?" he growled out. "Not to mention, she'll be naked. Why should I allow you to be with her?"
Beta Strider rolled his eyes, extremely disrespectful.
Yet, Lincoln didn't comment on his behaviour. "I don't have to like her, to make sure she doesn't go rabid and kill someone" Beta Strider scoffed. "
All I'm saying is that I will shift in the same vicinity as her, to make sure she doesn't go all ape-shit crazy".
I won't" I replied, eyes pleading with Lincoln. I didn't like Beta Strider, and he obviously didn't like me, so I really didn't want to shift with him.
"Fine" Beta Strider through his hands into the air. "Just let her go be naked around all the unmated males who you don't know, rather than the unmated male who you do know".
Stay with her" Lincoln snapped – no hesitation in the decision. I frowned, not liking the fact I had no choice. But, then, after what happened with Jacob I didn't like the idea of being alone when I was in such a vulnerable state.
Beta Strider gave me a smug look, as I sighed heavily. Turning to me, Lincoln took my face in his hands.
His beautiful eyes looked deeply into mine, before he bent down and kissed me.
It was a hot kiss – and I pressed my body against his chest, as his tongue slipped into my mouth. I moaned softly, as I gripped his arms tightly.
"Alright, break it up" Beta Strider shouted, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from Lincoln.
"I get that it's the Full Moon, and it doubles the horniness, but really; get a grip". He rolled his eyes again.
I blushed slightly, before looking at my feet as I squirmed.
"Antony" Lincoln snapped, frowning at his friend. Beta Strider just shrugged, before turning away.
Lincoln smiled sadly at me, "the Full Moon is about to reach the highest point. Are you sure you don't want me with you?"
"Sorry, Lincoln, I just need some time to myself. I can do that best in my Wolf form".
I gave him a small smile, before I heard a loud howl ring through the forest. I looked up to see the moon almost at its highest point.
"I need to shift" Lincoln stated, staring at the moon. I could see his eyes darkening and his hands shaking slightly.
"Go" I nodded. Lincoln gave me once last look, before running deeper into the forest.
I felt a pain shot through my arm, and I grimaced. The pain left as soon as it came. "We should go deeper" I told Beta Strider, before heading into the thickets of the woods.
Another eruption of pain arrived; that time to my arm. I gripped it to my chest, as I screamed through gritted teeth.
I took calming breaths, but the pain didn't ease up that time. Then, my arm snapped – breaking at the elbow and stick out at a grotesque angle.
I screamed, and cried, and screamed some more.
One bone broken, then another, then another. My legs stuck out in unnatural ways, as my arms broken and fused in a more animalistic way.
Tears blurred my sight, as I lay curled on the floor in the foetal position.
"I didn't think you were strong enough for Lincoln" Beta Strider suddenly said. I glanced up at him – he was kneeling next to me.
He looked in pain and strained; he was fighting the transformation off as best as he could.
Not helping" I groaned, as my arms and legs began to elongate.
I cried out, as I got onto all fours as my arms and legs grew.
"Listen to me" Beta Strider growled, before screaming into his own teeth out of pain.
"Actually listen to what I am saying to you. I didn't think you were strong enough for Lincoln, I thought you were weak.
And you are, physically, but you're strong mentally.
Lincoln is a handful, yet you've taken him on without a single hesitation".
I flipped onto my back, as my spine began to break and reset.
I gripped my hands into the dirt; as I threw my head back and screamed.
I convulsed a few times, before collapsing back down.
Sweat dripped over my entire body, and I was breathing hard.
"You're exactly what Lincoln needs" Beta Strider continued, forced to his knees as he carried on holding the transformation back.
"He needs someone to be gentle, and calm, and loving. But please, I am begging you, don't try and change him.
He needs to continue to be the Bad Alpha. Because that is how the pack needs to be run, it can't just change because of you".
"I won't change him" I replied. Then my body began to grow and enlarge – my entire body covering with long fur.
"I love him" I managed to get out, before completing the transformation.
When the full form change was over, I lay down on the floor and recovered.
My tongue hung out the side of my mouth, panting, as my large body cowering in on itself. I glanced down my body, and sighed in relief. I was completely changed.
My fur was a soft sandy colour, with dark paws and claws.
My legs were long and sturdy – with thick, muscled, thighs for running.
My snout was long and large; my teeth stronger and sharper than any knife. I gingerly got to my feet; my claws digging into the ground.
Once I was upright, I glanced to my left. Beta Strider had shifted as well; his has been a lot quicker and a lot less painful than mine.
His Wolf form was larger than mine, and his fur a light brown colour. He gave me a look, cocking his head slightly. He was asking if I was alright.
I nodded softly, taking a few cautious steps. It took a few steps before I got used to my Wolf form once more.
It was nice being in my Wolf form, calming. Beta Strider nodded for me to follow him. I shook my head yes. He began to run, and I ran after him.
For most of the night, I ran and hunted and enjoyed myself.
Beta Strider stayed with me the entire time. We chased each other for a while. He was a lot faster than me – of course – but he let me play.
Then, we found a few deer. Beta Strider stalked one, before killing it with his teeth. I watched his technique, before repeating it.
Well, trying to. I was too loud, too clumsy, and so scared all the stags off. I didn't catch any, but it didn't stop me having fun.
After that, I took Beta Strider down to the bayou. There were a few other Wolves milling about; but they all quickly left when they worked out who I was.
Beta Strider and I took a quick drink of the water, before laying by the bank and caught our breaths.
We lay there for a while, before childishly splashing around in the water.
It was all very juvenile and child-like, but I didn't care.
Because I didn't think of Jacob or Lincoln once. I simply gave into my animal instincts and enjoyed myself. Not for a second did I think of crying, nor did I recall the incident. It was blissful.
When dawn came, and the moon began to lower – we returned to the clearing where we had changed the first.
Lincoln was there when we got back. I paused on the edge of the clearing, and stared at him.
His Wolf form was large; bigger than any other I'd seen. His coat a pure midnight black, and his hackles high and his legs thick and broad. He was a beast, a true monster.
His fur was matted slightly from mud, but only on his underbelly.
Lincoln lay on the clearing floor; front paws crossed and his head resting on them. His beautiful green eyes – brighter than in his human form – stared into the lighting
sky. He was obviously deep in thought, not noticing he wasn't alone.
Beta Strider nudged me with his head, bumping my shoulder slightly.
I frowned at him, as he nodded in my mate's direction.
He was telling me to go to him, to comfort Lincoln. I bobbed my head yes, and Beta Strider quickly left us alone.
I paused for a moment, thinking of Jacob, before I softly padded over to Lincoln.
At hearing the scuff of my paws, Lincoln jumped to all fours. He growled in a menacing way; brown eyes darting in my direction.
But, as soon as he realised who I was, he relaxed.
We stood facing each other for a few seconds, a tense moment of both of us just staring.
I made the first move, by lowering my head in submission and letting out a small whimper. Lincoln nodded, before returning to his position on the floor.
I crept forward, before laying down next to him – my fur touching Lincoln's.
There was a thick pause, before Lincoln shifted and rested his head on my back; his body pressing into mine.
It was a possessive position; holding me under him as if I needed protection.
Just being with him like that; as he showed me how much he cared, it made me well up.
I thought of Jacob, and his death, and Lincoln's horrible past. I choked out a sob, forcing my entire body to shake in a slight growl.
All my emotions collapsed in on one, so I threw my head back and howled.
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