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Chapter 58: Grand Questions

AN: SO! To celebrate my getting Arcueid/Archetype: EARTH to NP5, I've decided to release an early chapter for the Okeanos Singularity. Huzzard!

_______

"A new Servant?" Ritsuka was the first to speak after Olga's announcement.

I stared at the woman and noticed a suspiciously large accumulation of colored powder around her eyes. It was makeup, very well done make-up that would've been unnoticeable to the naked human eye. Yet the particulates that constitute the powder are too large to escape my gaze.

Is the Director trying to cover something up?

"If this had been a normal operation, all Masters would've summoned their own Servants prior to Singularity F," Olga explained as she walked closer to us.

Her heels continued to click against the metal floor, creating dim echoes in this large, empty chamber where CHALDEAS resided.

Her expressions were carefully regulated, though I could tell based on microexpressions that occur without conscious thought, that she was forcing herself to retain a poker face.

"However, because of Lev's betrayal and subsequent bombing, the Guardian Heroic Spirit Summoning System you used to summon Archer over there has been irreparably damaged. If we had outside support and expertise, it is conceivable that the FATE System can be repaired, but given the current circumstances…" Olga trailed off, probably feeling that she didn't need to continue given how all of us knew the rest of mankind outside of Chaldea were incinerated.

What a familiar premise. If one looked purely at the humans that still remain alive, then the Grand Order is more dire than When Day Breaks. However, I don't think Goetia could possibly compare to Ion. 

I was cautiously optimistic about my chances against him.

Clearing her throat, the Director continued again, "The FATE System could only support a single Servant. We are truly fortunate that Goddess Kukulkan doesn't require any magical energy from us because, frankly, based on what's been displayed, we'll need to turn off all systems aside from life-support to even begin to approach a tenth that a Servant of your caliber might need."

I gave Olga a sheepish chuckle and smiled lightly. So was that one of the reasons why Ritsuka or any of the staff members never proposed the idea of him formally forming a contract with me?

"But now with the Grail, Da Vinci can hook this up with the generators and we can support an additional Servant."

The Grail floated without any visible means of lift. It was as if invisible wires were hanging off it, dangling that cup a meter above the ground.

Olga's eyes were glued to the Holy Grail. She was mesmerized by the vessel of unending magical energy. A golden goose— something a normal magus must've been willing to sell their soul for.

The Director then tore her eyes away from the Grail and to the rest of us. 

In an authoritative tone, Olga said, "We'll begin preparing for the summoning ritual post-haste. Ritsuka, Goddess Kukulkan, and the rest of you who were on the front lines of this Singularity feel free to take the rest of today and tomorrow off. On the third day, we'll summon the new Servant. Dismissed."

Olga had the final say and ended the conversation right then and there. She then turned around and left.

The woman was trying really hard to uphold that professionalism. Unfortunately for her, I easily noticed her heart beating far quicker than normal. She's still nervous… all the time whenever she's acting as a Director in the presence of others.

I took in a deep breath, moved over, and placed a hand behind Zvezdnyy's back.

While I was looking at the girl, my eyes slowly drew back to Archer, "Archer, you and I will have a conversation later."

With that, I herded Zvezdnyy out of CHALDEAS—

"Kukulkan!"

I stopped when I heard Ritsuka call out my name. Turning around to face him, I saw the teen's face contorted to express conflict: "… Never mind, I'll talk with you later."

Something is up. Ritsuka is definitely hiding something from me and it's eating him up from the inside. He's like an honest person trying to lie but failing horribly as the guilt chews up their insides.

I made a mental note of it before leaving CHALDEAS.

"I yearn to savor those flavored ices gifted to me by Emperor Nero," Zvezdnyy said as we strode through the sterile hallway of this facility.

"The flavored ice?"

As Zvezdnyy walked, she brought up her hands and moved her digits as if she was holding a cup.

"'Twas a cup of ice shavings, meticulously scraped from a larger chunk using a utensil. Sweet it was, for it had been flavored with honey."

Ice? I distinctly recall Rome having a Mediterranean climate, so how did they acquire ice— I recalled the snow-capped mountain range that ran down the Italian peninsula— ah, it's probably from the mountains then. It must've been an expensive treat.

"I see. Simple enough, we can get some in the kitchen."

Failing that, I can probably just make ice.

______

As Kukulkan left with Zvezdnyy, Ritsuka stared at her form as it disappeared behind a set of closed doors.

He wanted to tell Kukulkan what had happened so badly. The Singularity had already ended, so why did he stop himself from telling the Goddess what Nero's troops had done?

Every muscle in Ritsuka's body was tense like a rubber band stretched apart so much that it threatened to snap. His heart was pounding inside his skull, a constant rhythm that only further enhanced his anxious feelings.

He bit his lower lips to steady himself, using the pain to focus. 

Ritsuka wanted so badly to tell Kukulkan what had occurred and not tell her at the same time. It was an unsolved paradox that was causing him a tremendous amount of anxiety. So much so that he felt like he could fall over at a moment's notice. His stomach churned like a sea during a storm.

"Senpai…" Mash approached him, reaching out with her right-hand mere inches away from touching his shoulder in a comforting gesture, "Are you… are you alright?"

Mash looked extremely worried, "I know… that what you saw was extremely upsetting."

"Biggest understatement of the decade."

Ritsuka instantly felt bad about the harsh retort. A bitter look appeared on his face as the teen wanted to take back what he said. Mash didn't deserve his anger, she was only trying to help.

The Shielder seems to understand that and brushed it off.

"I am meant to be your shield. If you ever feel the need to confide in someone, I am always available."

With that, Mash left Ritsuka alone with Archer in the CHALDEAS room. Now fully alone with Archer, the Last Master of Mankind turned to him and asked, "Did I make the right choice?" 

Ritsuka personally didn't know, so he sought judgment from Archer, a person who fearlessly judged Kukulkan without a single care for reprisal.

Tell me, the teen said to himself internally as he stared at Archer's grey eyes. Tell me if I'm guilty. Grant me absolution or the guilty verdict.

"You made the correct choice, but not the right one."

Ritsuka was speechless at the reply. He was suddenly suffused with anger at the vagueness of Archer's statement, neither confirming nor denying whether his choice was right.

"You are correct in that on the grand scale, the Goddess needed to deal with Flauros. However, the morally, contradiction-less right choice would've been to tell Goddess of what happened."

Ritsuka was able to understand what Archer meant. Though 'correct' and 'right' are often used interchangeably, they don't necessarily mean the same thing. 'Correct' is used more for objective purposes, while 'right' is for subjective ones— a moral right, a correct fact.

—In the end, Archer still didn't condemn or praise him for his choice.

"What would you have done?"

"I wouldn't have bothered declaring that I would execute anyone found guilty of rape. I would focus solely on the main objective."

Like a missile, Ritsuka thought. Once launched, they're focused solely on their destination. Archer was efficient like a missile. Or a machine.

"That's cold," Ritsuka commented.

"Completing the mission would've resulted in fewer casualties for civilians. The faster the objective is done, the less innocents suffer." Archer spoke with confidence built up only from a long life of experience.

Ritsuka doesn't get how someone— anyone— can be so casual about this.

Rape was one of the worst crimes anyone can do. It wasn't like theft, where one could reason that the thief was hungry and had no other choice. It wasn't like murder, where one could justify it with self-defense.

In his mind, there is literally no possible justification for doing it.

So why then? Why does it happen so many times? 

Why is human history so messed up?

The teen opened his mouth to speak, to ask Archer why these things happen. These awful things… why are they so common throughout history?

"..."

No words came out of his mouth. Suddenly, the Last Master of Mankind felt lightheaded.

"I… I'm going to… take a nap."

"If you need me, just ask through our Master-Servant connection."

Ritsuka floated through the sterile hallways of Chaldea. He felt as if there was a layer of sponge between his mind and his actual body. His mind was completely detached, his feeling of touch dulled as if he was wearing mittens. His movements were sluggish.

The teen was zoning out, it was an out-of-body experience as he continued staring ahead yet not really 'registering' things. 

Why…? Why do such terrible things happen? Is this human nature? Is human nature evil?

If Ritsuka was a religious individual, he would be praying to his god asking for answers. 

Whether through a miracle or a subconscious desire, the teen stopped right in front of the door to his room before long. He stared at his shadow that was projected onto the closed door for a moment before entering.

Ritsuka quickly collapsed onto his bed. Rolling onto his back, the black-haired teen stared passively at his ceiling.

"Damn it…" He brought up his hands up to his face, "Damn it… damn it…"

Covering his eyes, Ritsuka felt wetness around his palm. "Damn it damn it damn it!"

His hands flung out like an outstretched rubber band snapping back into shape and slammed into the bed as the teen let out a silent scream. His back was arching like a bow as he struggled.

Seconds later, Ritsuka tiredly fell back to the bed as if he had no strength left.

"Why… why does it happen? Why do these things… happen?"

His parents always made sure the young Ritsuka grew up with a strong set of uncompromising morals. If he accidentally broke a vase, the teen wouldn't run away but instead, wait right next to the spread of broken clay shards and wait for the owner to return. He would own up to his mistakes.

Ritsuka doesn't expect others to be as morally upstanding as himself. Crimes like rape and murder happen and they're reported on the evening news. However, to happen with such regularity… and to be encouraged as well…

It was unthinkable.

How could such things happen?

His worldview constructed off his experience in normal society was completely upended, shattered like glass at the realization of how brutal human history was.

Ritsuka was struggling for an answer. 

Then there were knocks on his door. Ritsuka immediately thought of Mash, until a familiar voice said, "Ritsuka?"

It was Kukulkan.

"Are you… alright?"

______

Minutes earlier.

"Hmmm, the essence of the Forbidden Scarlet Elixir elevates its taste to unparalleled heights!" Zvezdnyy announced as she cleaned her bowl, slurping up the remaining mixture of strawberry jam and melted ice.

It wasn't originally jam, but it seems Zvezdnyy just assumed that it was jam, and reality itself corrected to align with her worldview.

"You don't like honey?" I asked as I moved the spoon around the slurry in my bowl, churning it as if it were a soup.

"I revel in the sweet, golden nectar of the divine." Zvezdnyy replied, placing her fully emptied bowl back onto the table, "But honey is merely the embodiment of pure, unadulterated sweetness. The Crimson Confection, strawberry jam, offers an intricate symphony of flavors that transcends mere sweetness and ascends to realms beyond mortal comprehension."

Sometimes I wonder if Zvezdnyy knows half of what she's saying. If it was me at her age of only ten, I wouldn't understand what half of those words meant.

My churning stopped as I realized something.

Zvezdnyy's birthday's coming up in a month. I should start preparing soon.

"Say, Zvezdnyy, which fruit is your favorite?"

The girl replied without giving it a second thought, "Ah, the delectable grape, a miniature orb of divine nectar! It is small, effortless to devour, sweet, and bursting with life-giving elixir."

A fruit cake focused on grapes then. Double layered with purple whipped cream as brims over white frostings.

"My esteemed Polkovodets, why have you allowed your shaved ice to succumb to the embrace of heat? While mine dwindled to mere droplets due to its scant quantity, yours appears to be an ocean of melted despair."

"Ah…" I wasn't paying much attention to the desert. My focus was elsewhere, such as—

My thoughts paused as I saw Ritsuka lumber into the empty cafeteria.

I waved at him but received no response as the teen merely looked around at the large room before shuffling away.

"What dark sorcery has befallen him? What malevolent force has drained the very essence of life from his being?" Zvezdnyy put my thoughts into words.

I got up from my chair, "Alright, Zvezdnyy, time for you to write that essay."

Immediately, her head whipped around away from the direction where Ritsuka had disappeared and focused on me. The girl's expression was one of surprise and panic, "Right now? But I have only just savored the last remnants of my frozen delight! Grant me respite for this day, I implore you!"

Zvezdnyy pleaded, she stared into my eyes with her gray-green ones, desperately hoping and using every tactic of cuteness to ravage my defenses.

"..."

My defenses buckled, yet I stood against her assault.

"Who taught you that?"

Instead of responding, Zvezdnyy only closed one of her eyes, jutting out her tongue to the side while bonking her head with a closed fist, "Te-he!"

My right eye twitched. Bowing my head and hanging it low, I had to squint my eyes shut and reset my mind. That was a critical hit.

"Alright let's go."

Zvezdnyy had no more protest as we left the cafeteria and headed towards the record room. I dropped off Zvezdnyy in the care of Cerejeira Elron before leaving once more, this time heading for Ritsuka's room.

As I neared, my hearing was such that I could listen to the sounds of struggle normally inaudible to human ears. I was about to rush in before realizing that Ritsuka was alone. He's… crying?

Why is he acting so weird? Is… I guess he must've seen some dead soldiers during the siege of Constantinople. I had no issue with corpses, it's more that I didn't like what a corpse represented; a passage to that hellish afterlife. 

Vivid memories of that person who killed himself to escape the sun's grasp entered the forefront of my mind. Memories that were so clear it was as if the events transpired yesterday. That person who I had mercy killed, who I thought would escape this hell only to be placed into a new one. I was desperate; I truly thought death was an escape instead of an entrance to an even worse hell.

Ah… I let out a sigh. I need to complete this Grand Order for that Tier 9 Nasuverse character. A wise mage who I can consult with, someone who might give me a solution to death. A permanent life without end.

Standing in front of his door, I slowly brought a hand up and knocked on his door.

"Ritsuka. Are you… alright?"

There was some shuffling of the bedsheets, and clothing before the door to Ritsuka's room finally opened.

He looked rough. Ritsuka's eyes were red, evidently, he's been crying for a while. His clothing, even though some hasty corrections were made, still had lots of folds on it.

Seeing him like this reminded me of my own circumstances. When I was punched in the face with a dose of reality, I fully realized how hard being a big damn hero really is.

We're startlingly similar. Both of us were ordinary people who'd been thrust into an extraordinary situation. Both of us signed on the dotted line without realizing the full ramifications of the 'fine line'.

If possible, I would like for him not to go through what I had gone through. Though stained, he still possesses that innocence found only in people who've lived a normal life. I want to preserve it. I want to ease his hardship, so he can still return to that ordinary life, unlike me. 

"Hey, Kukulkan. What's up?" He said. Ritsuka's chest vibrated as though he were having hiccups.

"When we're alone, please, call me Kuku. I think we're comfortable enough with each other for this familiarity." I told him, "Can I come in?"

"Sure, Kuku."

Ritsuka stepped to the side and allowed me into his room. The teen rubbed his eyes and turned away from me in an attempt to hide the fact that he'd been crying.

My eyes softened. A bit too late, but I can understand the desire and necessity to put up a facade of strength. But there's no need to do it in front of me. 

"Let me offer you something I've wanted yet never received when I was in a situation similar to yours," I spread my arms out, my hands performing a 'come here' gesture, "Come, let me give you a hug. Tell me your problems."

The teen quickly collapsed into my arms and started bawling his eyes out. Truly, an ordinary person thrusted into an extraordinary situation. How familiar…

_____

AN: Ever since I saw Arcueid's release on July 31 back in 2022, that's when I downloaded Fate/Grand Order. The whole bloody reason why I started FGO was for Arcueid. And now, after two years of spending nothing save for some tickets for Super Orion, Oberon, Koyansakya and some yolo ten pulls, I've finally done it. Arcueid. She's finally mine. Oh my god, she's so beautiful! She's finally mine! I have saved for two fucking years for her, I've saved 3760 Saint Quartz and 207 tickets for her. And she came in full NP5 in a little over 300 pulls.
Ahhhh! RNGesus has blessed me! The Gacha Gods smiled upon my rolls!
​But as they say, 'if things go on for too long, it becomes a prison'. But now, after acquiring Arcueid...
I'm finally free... This is what devotion is! I can finally sympathize with those Scaramouche mains of Genshin.

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