Chapter 4: "Self-Absorbed Dickwaffle!"
This story is Fanfiction, and I don't own ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ผ๐๐๐ฏ๐ฎ!, if I did, Aqua would be even more useless. ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ผ๐๐๐ฏ๐ฎ! Is owned by ๐ฆ๐๐๐ฑ๐ถ๐ผ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ป and ๐ก๐ฎ๐๐๐๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ธ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐ธ๐ถ.
-<[๐ผ๐, ๐พ๐ง๐๐ฅ!]>-
Some things, we learn to ignore subconsciously. Others are so ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ญ๐บ obvious your brain can't help but ignore it out of sheer second-hand embarrassment.
Turns out, that a giant mass of tentacles with a destruction fetish wouldn't just go for you, but the ship too.
I swear the sheer amount of god ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฏ ๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ on my ship is pissing me off to no end
"๐ท๐๐ข ๐น๐๐๐๐ข, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐" Alias calls from somewhere down the hall lit in a red glow from the emergency power.
I reach the doorway, and it slides open.
I spot a hologram of Alias working away at the storage module, "Trying to find some of my backup Erechius?"
She talks without looking back, choosing to focus on the holographic terminal she's using, "๐๐๐. ๐ต๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐ต๐๐ป ๐น๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ต๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐."
I could just ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ her glare, even if she wasn't looking at me.
"Alright, look. You know how I was raised, we're practically sisters at this point, I choose to focus on my morality, not my selfishness. I'm scared to lose what little I have left Alias!" I started shouting at the end, Alias flinching.
"๐ฐ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐น๐๐. ๐ธ-... ๐ธ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐... ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐! ๐๐๐๐๐ข, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐."
Did she justโฆ say Audible sigh?
I was honestly too dumbfounded to grace that with a response. I was going to ask her if she actually said audible sigh as a joke, or not.
๐'๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ด๐ช๐จ๐ฉ.
"๐ฐ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐ข๐, ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐,-"
God damnit! Whoever did that is a ๐๐๐ก๐-๐ผ๐๐จ๐ค๐ง๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐ก๐!
"-๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข,-"
Heh?
" ๐ธ๐ ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข."
"Oh.. that'sโฆ neat? I guess?" She just deadpans.
"๐ฐ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐ข๐! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!"
โฆ
"Iโฆ don't see how that's necessary to know?" I questioned. I'm not really a veggie gal, more of a meat foodie.
[๐๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ๐ต ๐๐ช๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ]
"๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐โฆ ๐ท๐๐๐-๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ท๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐?" Alias muttered the last part quietly.
"Could I see it?" Alias turns and points over to the couch nearby, "๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐"
I walk over to the couch, and an old-fashioned letter was sitting on the cushions, with an old-looking stamp and everything!
"... '๐ฃ๐ธ ๐๐ฎ๐ท๐ท๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ, ๐๐ช๐น๐ฝ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐.๐.๐. ๐๐พ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ฌ๐ต๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ป๐ธ๐ธ๐ถ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ฌ๐ด๐น๐ฒ๐ฝ, ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ'... ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ข ๐ง๐ถ๐ค๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐บ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ?"
I flip open the letter, and I grab the piece of parchment paper and unfold it.
| ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐๐ฎ๐ท๐ท๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ,
๐ฆ๐ฎ, ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ญ๐ช๐ผ ๐๐ต๐พ, ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ช๐ผ๐ผ ๐ข๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐น, ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐บ๐พ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ '๐ฃ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐ต๐ธ๐ป๐ญ', ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ธ๐น ๐ฅ๐๐. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐บ๐พ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ฌ๐ป๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐-๐ฐ๐ป๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ '๐๐ฒ๐บ๐พ๐ฒ๐ญ ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐พ๐ผ ๐๐พ๐ฎ๐ต' ๐ช๐ผ ๐ช๐ท ๐ช๐น๐ธ๐ต๐ธ๐ฐ๐. ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ญ๐พ๐ผ ๐๐ต๐พ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐น๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ช ๐ท๐ฎ๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ต๐ธ๐ท๐ฐ-๐ต๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐น๐ช๐ป๐ฝ๐ท๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐น
๐๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ข๐ฎ๐ป๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฎ,
๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฎ๐ต .๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ช๐ท๐ญ๐ฎ๐ |
"...Oh, god damn it, Selenaโฆ"
-<[๐ผ๐, ๐พ๐ง๐๐ฅ!]>-
*๐๐๐๐๐!*
Alias beamed me down to Isseoroth, Near the flag.
I took some of the milled rice we had in storage, as most of that was used up when I had to save a settlement of Hylotls, and hold them for a week on-ship.
Fuckin' Degenerate Weebs, I swear.
"๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ต๐ช๐ต๐ดโฆ" I mutter under my breath, still a little peeved at the memory.
"Hey! She's back!" Kazuma yelled loudly to his companion, Aqua rudely awoken from her nap on the rather comfy-looking grass.
Aqua was excited at the thought of new types of wine, "Did you bring any wine for this beautiful Goddess?!"
"Kazuma, I wasn't going anywhere, that and the fact that you two are fucking hopelesss without me, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ข๐ธ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ!" I pull the Asuterosaberu DX from its sheath with a little twirl and dispatch a small horned rabbit that was about to charge me from behind.
I need to give it a shorter name.
"And Aqua, even if I did bring wine, I wouldn't give it to you, you puddle!" I bonk the drunkard over the head. ("Ow!") I toss the Storage module filled with enough milled rice to last a year over to him.
He inspects the small cube, and looks up to ask, "What's this?"
"That, my NEET ("OI!") friend, is a Storage Module, in its portable mode. It has enough rice to feed an entire Japanese settlement for a year."
"...๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐บ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ตโฆ"
"Holy shit indeed, little man."
Now, mind you that I'm considered tall for my species. At a good 6'8, so most people have to crane their necks to look me in the eye.
๐๐ญ๐ด๐ฐ, good for intimidation tactics, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐บ.
"But where are we going to stay! My divine presence is something I refuse to grace the stables with!" Aqua asked a question, which then devolved into a complaint.
"Y'all could stay on my ship, but you would have to deal with Alias. Andโฆ uhโฆ"
Kazuma made a gesture for me to 'go onโฆ'
"She's a slave driver. To stay on my ship, she'll need to register you two as part of my 'crew'. Now, me being me, I did everything mostly solo, with some help along the way. She wants my crew... Ehm- 'Top-notch'."
""Top-notch?""
"She'll make you workout 'til you collapse, and then train you in guns, swords, and other junk until you are to her 'standards'"
Both Kazuma and Aqua became paler and paler the more I talked.
"But between you and me, she doesn't have standards, she is more or less an overprotective sister."
Kazuma shook his head, no longer pale, "what do you mean 'sister'?"
"Shee's an AI companion that's been with me for ten entire years. Every Protectorate student gets their own AI, made for them. Alias is a special case, where I got her when I was fifteen, after some fuck-ups somewhere along the long line of people working there."
I stopped to think for a second, to add a little tidbit of information, "That, and the fact that she is also one of the few AI that achieved true Sentience."
"That'sโฆ rather neat," Kazuma said, slowly. "Butโฆ we'd rather take the stables ("I wouldn't!") Shut it, you useless goddess! I want to live the adventurer's life, I don't want to impose" Kazuma said, lying through his teeth.
From my perspective, I could tell that Kazuma was thinking along the lines of 'I would need to work for that place! And I don't wanna work!'
Interrogations are useful for skills like that.
And smuggling.
I don't like to talk about it.
Anyway~
"Hey, how about you two head over and find someplace to stay, It's getting dark." Kazuma held my gaze for a few seconds, confused
"Well, what about you?" "Yeah, aren't you coming along to worship this goddess?"
...*๐ด๐ช๐จ๐ฉ*
"I have my ship Idiots, and I still need to fix everything Selena did to get my ship here." I groaned, my hand holding my head, "The fuels run dry, some boxes in storage are spilled out on the floor, two of my samples have just ๐ท๐ข๐ฏ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฅ, and ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฆ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ง๐ถ๐ณ๐ฏ๐ช๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฐ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ง๐ต!"
"...๐โ."
"Yep."
And Aqua was just sneakily walking away.
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ค๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ !
-<[๐ผ๐, ๐พ๐ง๐๐ฅ!]>-
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone