Chapter 12: Ch 12 Chagrined Misconceptions
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Medusa,
The fact that you would call me your friend is something that I value greatly, although I don't particularly need the help that you offer at the moment. Nonetheless, thank you.
That is a rather glowing description of someone, and I'm sure that he appreciates knowing that you think so highly of him. However, I still doubt that he could best me at Potions, for there are VERY few who can even claim equality, if I do say so myself.
It is nice to see someone who doesn't automatically assume that ambition is a bad thing, for where would we be if we lacked the will to change our reality? Which is the very definition of ambition, in my opinion.
However, I find myself greatly disagreeing with you in regards to the war. While I myself am unsure in regards to how far He is willing to go, that doesn't mean that I would ever find myself willing to risk my life to stop him. Although it may sound weak, I don't want to fight against my friends or room-mates, even if I disagree with them.
Besides, it's not like I would be in particular danger, given that I am not a Muggleborn. It removes the utter necessity of kill-or-be-killed from my thoughts on the matter, although it may sound rather cowardly.
As for your parents, I suppose that there are three options for you:
You can go with your parents on the trip and not bring your friend.
You can not go at all.
You can try to argue with your parents about it.
Which option you choose is up to you, I suppose, but you'll have to consider how important the vacation is to you versus a disagreement about who you can bring along with you. Do consider, though, that if they have good reasons for disliking your friend, it's unlikely that they'll change their mind about him.
I wish you luck with your decision.
Your friend,
Perseus
P.S. There is something that has been bothering me of late: is it normal for girls to pretend to be...dumber around their boyfriends? I have recently made the acquaintance of a girl who has a fairly active acumen, but you wouldn't know it if you saw how she acts around her bloke. Is this something that I should be concerned about?
Normally, I wouldn't bother, but she's actually rather enjoyable to talk to.
Lily stared at the lonely freckle dotting Severus' nose as she reread Perseus' letter for the fifth time. She was sitting across from the young Slytherin as he looked over his text-book, pursed his lips, and periodically jotted down some notes. He seemed comfortable, much in contrast to the young red-head watching him, although sometimes he would give her a strange look, whereupon Lily would try desperately to pretend that her attention was on her Charms text-book (the letter having been hidden inside).
It was an interesting little game, one which Lily sometimes lost, her face flushing with embarrassment as her companion caught her staring. For whatever reason, Severus always seemed pleased when this happened, his lips gifting her with a small smile.
In hindsight, it was quite obvious that Severus and Perseus were the same person, considering that they shared handwriting (Lily wanted to hit herself for missing their identical scripts), Perseus' clear brilliance at Potions (something which ruled out Mulciber, since he had barely scraped an 'Exceeds Expectations' on their O.W.L.s), Severus' clear discomfort around Lily's parents, and a host of other similarities (how could she have possibly missed Perseus' use of Dunderheaded?).
Really, Lily felt like the label of 'Dunderhead' would be perfectly applied to her, given how oblivious she had apparently been. She was his best friend after all, so shouldn't she have noticed this stuff?
It was part of the reason that she hadn't told Severus that she knew he was Perseus yet, the simple embarrassment of telling him that she had completely missed all of the signs that it was him. What would he think of her if he knew this? She knew that she'd have to tell him sooner or later, but she desperately wished that sooner didn't have to mean today.
Turning to look at her friend, Lily sighed once more, resting her young female chin upon her palm as she watched his dark eyes rove over the pages of his text-book.
Presently, the two of them were in Slughorn's classroom again, taking advantage of everyone else's absence to turn the room into their personal study area. In contrast to how it was during their class periods, the many desks had been pushed over to the wall, leaving only three for Lily, Severus and (whenever she happened to have a tutoring session with Severus) Evelyn. As such, there was a great deal more room to walk around the area, which Severus frequently made use of when they were working on Potions.
Slughorn didn't mind it when Severus had asked of course, provided that they give him credit for whatever they invented using his ingredients, something he was sure would be the case, given their 'incredible talent and thirst to prove yourselves!'. It was incredible how helpful he was to the two of them at times, as was shown when the portly gentleman had accepted Severus' late-completed homework with no trouble whatsoever, Lily's privately informing him that James had stolen the work so as to ensure that Severus would get full credit.
Right now though, Severus and Lily were seated, Severus preparing for today's session with Evelyn while Lily got a little extra work done for her Charms class...or so she claimed to be doing. Instead her thoughts were distracting her far too much for her to even consider the uses of Disarming Charms and the like.
'And it's awful to think about it, how Severus must be feeling about the death of his mother. It must be hard enough to have a parent die, but to have them purposefully kill themselves... It's just terrible.' Lily felt her eyes grow hot and wet, like they had when she discovered about the death of Perseus' mother, but even more so since it was Severus. 'I wish that I had been able to help him, but he just wouldn't talk to me, only Medusa-'
"Lily, can I ask you something?"
Lily blinked, looking into Severus' intensely dark eyes, his hands clenched into fists as a single bead of sweat ran down the side of his sallow face. Happy to divert her thoughts from the sad tracks they had been going down, she nodded. "Sure, Sev, what is it?"
"Well...you know how Slughorn's making the meeting later this week a dance, right?" As Lily nodded again, Severus paused for a moment before continuing, seeming incredibly uncertain as he spoke. "Did you manage to get a date for it?"
Lily shrugged. She had completely forgotten about it, what with Severus being Perseus, her mother's letter, James having agreed to leave Severus alone, and Severus being Perseus. "I suppose not; Ja-...erm, Potter asked me about it a couple of weeks ago, but I said 'no' of course." Lily rolled her eyes, although it was mostly for Severus' benefit. She hoped that the two of them would eventually get along, but for the moment she didn't have her hopes up.
Severus nodded slowly, before returning his gaze to his book, although Lily noticed that his eyes weren't moving anymore, merely staring at the oft-written pages. A second bead of sweat joined the first in its slow trek downward as the red-head watched, thinking about the current situation.
She'd prefer not to go without a partner to dance with, in case there were no...'eligible' young men for her to dance with. The thought of being forced to dance with someone like Avery made her skin crawl. A sudden thought struck her. "Hey, Severus? Did you ask anyone to go with you yet?" Severus' face went pink, but he muttered a denial, bowing his head swiftly and allowing his hair to cover his visage. "Well, if you don't have anyone else to go with, want to go with me?"
Severus' eyebrows threatened to become one with his hair as his mouth opened into an 'O', his skin rapidly turning that unattractive shade of puce that it had back when she was dealing with the aftermath of the 'James-kiss' incident. He seemed as if he were carved out of reddish stone, merely staring at the young woman waiting patiently for him to respond.
After several minutes of waiting though, Lily started to feel rather annoyed at this; really, it wasn't such a hard question, was it? "Well, Sev? If you don't want to come, that's fine, but quit staring at me like I've grown another head!"
Severus shook his head, his dark, stringy hair flying too in fro as he held his hands out in a placating manner. "Err...Sorry! That'll be...just fine, I think. I just...I'll pick you up at seven-thirty?" finished the boy weakly, seeming befuddled.
Lily smiled darkly as she wagged her finger at the worried-looking boy. "Uh-uh, we might just be going as friends, but you're going to be my 'date', got it? That means all date rules apply, and I'm not going to let you go there looking all woebegone like you do in class. It's your business normally, but this is a dance. It's a formal occasion! So stand up, arms spread, so I can see what we have to do."
Lily's eyes narrowed as Severus practically leaped out of his seat, roving all over boy's lean form in contemplation. Walking around Severus, she poked at his stomach, felt his hair, and generally tried to examine every inch of his body. She wanted to make sure that he would look his best, after all, and Severus rarely dressed to impress, so she decided to help him out.
Oddly enough, it was far less awkward than the teenage girl had expected, as Severus held his body perfectly still while she examined him. He was generally warm to the touch in most places, warmer than Lily would have expected down here in the dungeons, and she caught herself rubbing his stomach a bit, her fingers clearly enjoying the warmth. He possessed very little in the way of fat, being so skinny and lean that Lily made a mental note to get him to eat more, as he was clearly quite unhealthy.
Finally she finished her inspection and took a step back, nodding slowly as he quickly, awkwardly sat down, placing a book in his lap as his face flushed. "Alright, make sure that you wear some nice black robes, or some other dark color if you can charm it or something. Wash your hair and face a bunch this week, alright?"
There was a pause, as Severus looked at her strangely. "Err, is that it? Just wash myself extra and wear dark clothes?"
Lily allowed a giggle to escape her lips at how put-off Severus seemed to look, sitting down across from the sallow young man as she spoke, "Well...yeah, dark clothes already go well with your body, and it's not like you want to wear a bunch of make-up or jewelry, do you?" As Severus shuddered, she continued with a grin, "Didn't think so. Just keep yourself neat and tidy and you'll look plenty decent to be my date, alright?"
Severus nodded, removing the book from his lap and resting it on the table between them. A thoughtful look crossed his face as he spoke, "I doubt that charms would work, not if someone like Potter's around. He'd try to undo the charm if he could... I suppose I can ask Arcturus if he has something dark I can borrow though, as a favor..."
Lily frowned, but decided not to mention that James probably wouldn't bother with undoing Severus' charms for much longer. No need to get his hopes up for a promise that Lily wasn't sure James would keep. However, it did bring something else to Lily's attention... "Severus, I was looking at the homework you lost...and the handwriting looks rather like the piece Mulciber turned in. Care to explain?"
Suddenly, the room's temperature seemed to drop a few degrees, Lily shivering as the warmth surrounding the conversation was sucked away. Severus appeared to notice it too, as he spluttered, his face pale as he searched for words, but Lily spoke first. "Would you mind telling me why you're doing his homework for him?"
"Not really doing it," muttered the Slytherin boy lamely. "I'm just correcting it for him..."
Lily gave him a knowing look, crossing her arms as she looked at him."Sev, the only handwriting in it was yours. Tell me now, or I'll have to go talk to Slughorn about it. If Mulciber's making you do this..."
"No, it's not that. It's just..." Severus sighed, giving her a careful look before saying quietly, "Well, Mulciber's got a lot of stuff to take care of this year, you know, and he needed a favor..." Taking note of how Lily's eyebrows were disappearing into her own hair, he quickly continued, "You see, he does the work, just...he's kinda bad at writing essays is all. And I wanted to go to some of those parties, so he offered to put in a good word for me if I...gave his essays a bit of attention. Please don't tell Slughorn! Alright?"
Lily leaned back in her chair, digesting what Severus had told her as she stared into his pleading eyes. "Fine, I won't tell Slughorn, but you shouldn't be forced to do Mulciber's homework for-"
The two of them were interrupted by the sounds of a piercingly-girlish giggle coming from outside the door. An annoyingly high-pitched voice came through the door, "Don't worry, Douglas, I've just got to take care of this tutoring session, then the two of us can have all night for...other stuff."
"Tutoring session?" The door swung open, revealing Evelyn Matthews and the Slytherin boy she had been dating of late, Douglas DeWitt if Lily recalled correctly. He seemed embarrassed, and edged away from the Ravenclaw girl as she gave him a beaming, vapid smile. "Uh, I'll see you later, Matthews!"
"Bye, Hon'!" And with great speed, the boy darted down the corridor and out of sight, whereupon Evelyn's smile turned much cooler. "Hello, Severus...Lily. Here to spy on Severus and me again? The thoughts of our Potions lessons together that riveting to you, hmm?"
"Hardly, I was just leaving," snipped Lily, turning back to Severus and saying in a much lighter tone of voice. "So...I'll pick you up this Friday, at seven?"
Severus nodded, before asking curiously, "Evelyn...that was your boyfriend, right?"
"Who cares?" whispered Lily under her breath.
Evelyn spared a glower for the Gryffindor girl, before saying with a happy little smile, "Yup! Douglas is my boyfriend, and he's gonna take me to the dance on Friday! He's really great, and we're having an incredible time together."
Barely restraining the urge to point out that of course a girl like her would be having a great time, Lily gave Severus a wave, mouthed 'good luck', and left.
Several hours later, Lily was back in her dorm room, the only one awake amongst her sleeping (and in the case of Sabrina, loudly snoring) roommates. The combined total of all of Perseus' letters laid on her lap as she sat at the head of the bed, her wand emitting a soft white light which her curtains kept from escaping to the rest of the room.
Telling Severus that she knew he was Perseus had been the right thing to do, really the smarter thing to do...but Lily hadn't done it, for what reasons she didn't know yet. The red-head just kept reading all of his letters again and again, phrases leaping at her as she pored over each one, some bearing messages of happiness, others sadness, and a few bringing guilt.
Each one of them contained some small piece of the boy that she didn't know, not as Lily Evans.
...not being supportive of the blood-purity concept is not a popular opinion to announce among my peers. This is another reason I am appreciative of the fact that we shall never actually meet.
Had she ever asked Severus about it? Had she ever truly spoken to the dark young man about what he believed? Lily couldn't remember a time that they had ever truly spoken about it, now that she thought of it. Severus had never truly attempted to explain anything, and she had never asked, certain in her own opinions.
Besides, in addition to simple self-defence, if one is shown to be dark and dangerous, it is possible to avoid some battles before they begin by the simple fact that one's opponents are too scared to fight. It doesn't work all the time, but would a warrior rather strike an armed warrior or a defenceless peon?
Was this what Severus thought? That if he could be strong enough, dangerous enough, that he might be safe? What could possibly be so terrifying that he felt that he needed the power of the Dark Arts to ward them off? Surely the Death Eaters were not so big of a concern for a half-blood Slytherin, and if anything really awful were to happen with the Marauders, then certainly Dumbledore would step in, right?
Regardless, it was another piece of Severus that she had missed, and now Lily was left to chastise herself for missing so much of him.
Was the reason she had missed all of these pieces because she had been unobservant? Had she been so busy dealing with the seemingly endless madness of her own life that she had missed parts of Severus, important ones. Certainly, her life had the capacity to be quite confusing, but she had always prided herself that she knew more about Severus than anyone...so this had proved to be quite the rude awakening.
But how could she rectify this? It wasn't like Severus would just tell her these things (after all, he hadn't told them to her in umpteen years of friendship), and it wasn't as if she had access to his thoughts...
Lily stopped, a smile spreading across her face as she sat up, her green eyes sparking with excitement; she had a way to access his thoughts! All she needed to do was send him letters as Medusa, and he would tell her what she needed to know as Lily! It was almost the perfect plan!
Besides, perhaps she use Medusa could get him to listen on some of the things he was always obstinate about, like his stupid friends! It was practically win-win. She could find out all of the things she had missed about Severus, and he would finally realize that he was better off without those parasitical prats.
Nodding, she began to write, weighing her words with a care that she had never used before:
Dear Perseus,
I am glad to hear that you feel that way about me; I value you very much as a friend already, trust me.
Probably more than he would ever know, Lily suspected.
He certainly merits the glowing description, and I'm sure he does appreciate knowing how impressed I am with him. However, he is most assuredly your equal in the art of Potions. Ah well, you can use a few equals, so it isn't that big of a problem, right?
What are your ambitions though, Perseus? Sure, they can be the cause of some of the greatest joys of our world, but only if the thing you are ambitious to do is something great. If it's simply to show off...then it's probably not going to do anyone any good, right?
Lily considered this for a moment, then nodded decisively, her quill finishing off the question mark with a flourish. It seemed an excellent way to get Severus thinking a bit. However, now the war topic was to be brought up...how could she make use of this? Carefully, she put her pen to the parchment and continued:
I can understand the desire not to fight against one's friends, but do you have any friends who might be on the other side? You know, the one fighting AGAINST the Death Eaters. What if by not fighting, you put those friends in danger? Even if you weren't in personal danger, would you be able to stand knowing what you COULD have prevented?
As for my parents...
Lily paused, her brow furrowed as the topic that had seemed so important before Perseus' latest letter came screaming to the back of her mind. What could she do about her parents? Well, it wasn't like she could tell Severus she was going without him, she'd never be able to stomach the idea of leaving him behind even if she did get in trouble with her parents, so that wasn't an option.
Maybe she'd be better off trying to persuade her father otherwise... He had always liked Severus more than Petunia or her mother had. Perhaps he'd have a better chance of changing Marigold's mind...
...thanks very much for the tips, I'll keep them all in mind as I think about it. It shouldn't be too big of a deal though, regardless.
Lily then frowned as she read the postscript of Perseus' letter; it was obvious now that she knew that he and Severus were one and the same that the boy was referring to Evelyn. It made it a lot harder for her to summon up any sympathy for the girl, knowing who she was and how she acted all the time, using her body to get men like some sort of whore.
Still, the stringy-haired blond was a hell of a sight better than those beasts like Mulciber and Avery were as friends, and perhaps Severus could be a good influence on her anyway, so Lily wrote:
Some girls do act like that, particularly the ones who are gold-diggers or the like.
Lily sent a rather nasty look over at Sabrina, who had just let out another particularly loud snore. Sabrina might not be a gold-digger, but most wouldn't know it with how she acted around James, like the most vapid of women.
Still, perhaps she doesn't realize that she is doing it, or thinks that most men would find that attractive in a girl. Frankly, it's a rather foolish thing for them to do, but that's life in the seventies. If you have to pretend to be some vapid twit to get a guy's attention, then clearly you are better off without him. I know I'd rather my 'significant other' be comfortable with my intelligence, you know?
Regardless, your best bet is probably to talk to her, or maybe that friend of yours that you keep mentioning. If you need more help though, I'd be happy to provide it.
Your friend,
Medusa
Lily paused to analyze it one last time, checking for things that might give away her secret, then finally nodded as she deemed it worthy. After writing a quick letter to her father, explaining how she felt that her mother was being overly dramatic, she dashed up to the owlery (never had she been more thankful that she was a Prefect, so she could go out like this) and sent them both off, using a school owl for the one she sent to her father.
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