If you want to read up to 20 chapters ahead go to https://www.patreón.com/cornbringer
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After forcing Thor, Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun to clean up my house after they had trashed it with their sudden visit, I took them on a tour of New York, after I explained some basic human customs to them.
No breaking things because you like them.
No picking fights with humans, especially considering you can slap them to death.
No violence in general unless I give the green light.
After that crash course in human etiquette, where Thor pouted because according to him I was taking away everything he liked, we went out to party.
At the first bar we visited, Thor and Volstagg drank so much that I had to pay with a cashier's check to the bar, after that I took them skiing. Surprisingly Volstagg proved to be pretty good at it, almost as good as Bucky at skiing, which surprised me because of his physical build.
"This is awesome! Snow, without frost giants!" Thor exclaimed with a grin throwing his arms in the air.
"It's beautiful!" Volstagg stated, doing a triple-double flip in the air and then landing majestically on the snow.
"Loki doesn't know what he's missing!" Fandral said, trying in vain to ski, in part his poor skills reminded me of me when I first came to these mountains, to be humiliated by Bucky and his majestic show.
The party continued, with me taking the four Asgardians to the desert to ski there, of course, Thor seeing no one around decided to challenge me to a duel to commemorate the occasion.
I accepted.
In this duel unlike the first, Thor offered not to use his weapon, and I with a desire for vengeance, allowed him to fight without his hammer.
To make the story short, I won.
There wasn't much to tell, I simply punched the God of Thunder in the nuts with a [Focused strike], the kicked his ass into a sandstorm that was coming our way, and waited on besides the warrior three, with a beer at hand, by the time he came back to his senses after his Asgardian nuts had healed from the nut-cracking blast, he cursed my infallible tactic in a high-pitched tone.
Which in turn made everyone laugh.
"I will have my revenge!" Thor declared, sounding like Alvin from the chipmunks.
"All is fair in war and love," I chuckled.
"Fair enough," Thor muttered, "Now give me a red thingy, or I shall tell Sif you said she was a weak warrior!"
Well, that was a rather specific threat, one that was somewhat effective.
"Fine, for what it's worth, I apologize for the nut punch," I smiled, handing him an HP POTION.
Drinking the pot like it was the best thing in the world, Thor sighed, and with an evil smirk said, "I forgive you," it was here when I realized, his hand was extended, meaning he was calling his hammer, fuck. "Revenge!" and with a battle cry, he blasted me into the sandstorm, with an electrifying nut-destroying attack.
"FUCK YOU!!!!" I cried as the storm pulled me in.
"FEEL MY PAIN! FEEL THEIR PAIN!" Thor shouted back.
Ten minutes later, and a few potions to make sure everything was fine down there, Thor and I made a blood agreement to never attack each other's nuts, and so the nut treaty of peace came into existance.
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[Volstagg POV]
After the treaty was signed, Thor and Alex left to fight, this time avoiding their private parts, as it was stated in the treaty.
"So that was something," Hogun muttered.
"I am glad they didn't target us, one attack down there from either one of them is enough to turn us into valkyries," Fandral muttered back in terror.
"So now what?" I asked the guys.
"We fight each other?" Fandral suggested.
"Sounds like a good way to burn some time," Hogun nodded, but before we could start, Thor and Alex landed in front of us, both covered in blood and bruises, Alex more than Thors, however unlike Thor's Alex's injuries were healing rapidly.
"Thor and I were discussing," Alex began with a smile.
"And we thought," Thor nodded.
"That you guys needed some training," Alex grinned, cracking his knuckles.
"So, do you want the first punch, my brother?" Thor asked Alex with a small bow, while we all started to sweat, they wanted to fight us, that was not fair, one of them against us was overkill, but TWO! I AM NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS!
"I couldn't possibly do that, you must take the first punch or hammer strike," Alex bowed in kind with a terrifying smile.
"No no, I insist, you go first, punch Fandral, he has a punchable face or so says Sif," Thor smiled.
"LET'S RUN BEFORE THEY DECIDE WHO GETS TO KICK OUR ASS FIRST!" Fandral hissed, darting out of sight.
"I will stay," Hogun sighed with a defeated look, as Thor and Alex continued to fight over who would kick our asses first.
"But Hogun!" Such sacrifice, why!?
"Delaying the inevitable is a foolish endeavor, I shall accept my destiny, for that is the way of the warrior," Hogun stated, grabbing his weapons, he was an honorable warrior, but a stupid one, which is why I ran after Fandral.
Catching up to Fandral took me roughly a few minutes, for he was hiding in a cave.
"I am safe here, this is my new life," Fandral repeated over and over again.
When all of the sudden, a flying projectile entered the cave, the projectile was no other than Hogun.
"I made a terrible mistake, I am now reconsidering the way of the warrior…" Hogun muttered in a weak voice before he passed out.
"AHHHHH!" Fandral screamed like a girl pointing behind me.
"What in! AHHH!" I joined in his screams.
"Here's is Thor!" Thor greeted us with a smile, "Alex said that was a human funny reference, so how was it?"
"Funny?" I answered with uncertainty.
"It was hilarious Thor," I heard Alex chuckle as he came into view.
"Well, I am a God, meaning I excel at everything," Thor nodded with a proud smile, as Fandral tried to dig his way out of the cave.
"So, it's my turn, right?" Alex asked, cracking his neck.
"Indeed," Thor nodded.
"Please not the face, EVERYTHING BUT THE FACE!" Fandral shouted, and so, our party in Midgard turned into a training session with two overpowered maniacs, in the end, Hogun was right, we ran for nothing.
If you want to read up to 20 chapters ahead go to https://www.patreón.com/cornbringer
Discord invite: https://discord.gg/XHduApz
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[T'Chaka POV]
Ulysses Klaus had been captured, and the Vibranium he had stolen, had ironically been stolen.
Shield's files say they were the ones that captured Ulysses, and by the time they had arrived, all of our Vibranium was gone, but I knew that was a lie the new director was selling me, Shield didn't have the resources or power to capture Ulysses, meaning one thing, and one thing only.
They were covering for someone else.
Unfortunately for us, we had no ground to start our search, at least at the beginning, but with time we found who we were looking for, Alex Walker.
At first, he simply became a person of interest.
But soon, we started to connect the dots, until eventually, he turned into our main suspect, sources say he was with Ulysses before his capture, meaning he had access to what was stolen from us in the first place.
An outsider, with our precious metal, a sin that I could not forgive.
For now, though, we had no proofs, but soon we would have, and once we had, he would pay in blood.
"My King," The head of this investigation said, getting my attention.
"Yes?" I asked, awaiting for the proof our people desperately needed.
"The subject was last seen with four other men going into a bar, after that, he disappeared out of sight, but the readings we got on him confirm our suspicions my King, he has been working with Vibranium," So it has been settled, he was our new target, the one using what was not his to use.
"Thanks for this confirmation," He would die, for only in death he would pay for what he has done.
"What do we do now?" A soldier asked.
"We hunt," In reality, I really didn't want to kill him, he was a father, just like me, but he had wronged Wakanda by taking what was not his, and here that was paid with blood.
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[Alex POV]
Three days after our party, the Warrior Three left, leaving Thor on earth, who wanted to stay for a bit, to bond with his adopted nieces, Natasha, and Emily, as according to him, a blood brother was like any other brother, meaning he was their mighty uncle.
"Yes, yes little one, I am indeed stronger than your father," Thor laughed in a cocky manner.
"Daddy is the strongest!" Emily shot back with a glare.
"She's adorable," Thor ignored her glare, ruffling her hair.
"So… can you tell me again, how did you befriend a nordic God who seems to have room temperature IQ?" Bucky asked with one of his looks, the one that said, I am done with this shit.
"I teleported into his world," I replied.
"I see," Bucky nodded, "He's the oldest in this room, and behaves like a teenager…" he added with a sigh.
"He's… he will get better," I chuckled.
"Hi there, second mightiest uncle," Thor greeted Bucky who seemed to be on the verge of punching the Norse god, "I heard from Alex you are a warrior of great power,"
"I am," Bucky replied, glaring at Thor.
"Don't worry Bucks, we love you more," Nat winked at him, as she jumped onto the couch to watch TV, making Bucky smile.
"For now!" Thor grinned, "I shall win this uncle battle, in the uncle arena, or die trying!"
"So… I prepare the funeral then?" Bucky asked with a smile that made me smile, he was certainly confident the girls would pick him, always, which was true.
"I like that spirit human!" Thor replied, as always oblivious to Bucky's sass.
"So you guys want…" I stopped midsentence when I saw a few red dots appear on the map, they were nearing my house and would arrive in a few minutes by what I could tell, "Girl, time to visit the Ancient One," I spoke with a tone that left no room for argument.
"On it," Emily nodded, opening a portal for her a Nat to use.
"Kick their asses," Nat said, as she jumped into the portal, with Emily following close behind.
"How many?" Bucky asked.
"Around twenty so far," I answered, counting the red dots on the map.
"Enemies?" Thor asked with an excited grin, "I knew there was a reason for me to stay here, to battle beside you brother,"
"You don't have to fight with us if you don't want to," Bucky smirked.
"Non-sense," Thor declared, "I will paint the walls I rebuilt in your house with their blood!" he added with a bloodthirsty grin.
"A bit overkill, but okay…" I chuckled, my eyes on the minimap, twenty-eight red dots, all approaching.
"Any idea who's coming?" Bucky asked, pulling a shotgun from behind the fridge.
"Let me check," I replied as I used [Sight] to see who was coming.
[M'Shahe Kharaketi LV 30 - Wakandian Special Force]
Wakanda was coming for me, which meant… they somehow figured out I stole what Ulysses had stolen, well ain't that kick in the ass, I guess what goes around comes around.
"Wakanda," I sighed.
"The Vibranium?" Bucky asked and I nodded.
"Well, let's open some political talks then," Bucky replied with a grin, cocking his shotgun with a single hand, as he pulled an assault rifle under Goose's litterbox.
"You have weapons everywhere?" I asked with a chuckle.
"Yes," Bucky nodded, "I have forty guns in your room alone, which is the room with fewer weapons in the house," well that was not something I expected, or I did, but not on this scale.
"Humans and their puny weapons," Thor chuckled, "All one needs to break some spines, and crush some skulls is this!" he showed his hammer with pride, "With this, you can actually feel their life fading away!"
"I think you like fighting a bit too much," I rolled my eyes.
"So, how much time do we have?" Bucky asked.
"Enough to relocate the fight out of my house, god knows I am tired of shit breaking around," I replied, signaling the two to follow me.
"Huzzah!" Thor grinned, following me without a question.
"Sure, but it's not like you can't buy a thousand houses like this one," Bucky chuckled.
"Yes I know, but not because I can I will do it," I shot back with a chuckle of my own.
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