Overcome Your Fears

🅿🅰🆁🅺🅴🆁

Back to the less depressing flashbacks.

After a few days I had gotten used to my current life in Australia. Flora was still annoying, constantly asking me weird questions and wanting to see magic tricks. But her naive and silly behavior reminded me of Alex so while I always felt the need to punch her in the face, she also made me smile.

Her dad was strict, almost controlling. He tried to decide everything for his daughter, leaving little room for her to grow. His need for control was constantly battling with the love he tried to show. Sometimes the good side won. And sometimes it didn't.

Flora's mother was almost non-existent. She was there physically, asking her daughter how her day was or her husband what he wanted for dinner but everything that came out of her mouth was empty, her face dead. She had the presence of a mayfly.

I realized soon that the household I grew up in was not too different from this one. The biggest contrast was probably the money.

Whereas Flora's mom met with her friends for lunch at the local bridge club or at Santiano's in downtown, my mom would invite our neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Logan over for coffee and store-bought shortbread.

Whereas Flora's dad would calm down after a long day of work by swimming in the pool or throwing on the bbq, my dad used to grab a can of DrPopper, lock himself in the bedroom and turn on the TV.

Yes, my dad drank DrPopper instead of beer. Just because his income was hardly scratching on minimum wages doesn't mean he sat around on the couch in a stained wife beater with a beer at 3pm.

In fact, my parents had a strict no alcohol policy. The only drink they consumed (at least in our presence, who knows what happened behind closed doors) was a glass of supermarket champagne on New Year's Eve. Maybe that is one of the reasons they hated me. Because I didn't care about their rules, I drank a lot and didn't bother hiding it.

I wonder what their reaction was when they found out that their eldest son had died from the one thing they had tried to protect him from. Were they shocked? Full of denial? Or had they seen it coming?

"Parker ghost!" The door had opened and Flora came skipping into the room. "Guess what Ms. Klein told me!" "Ms. Klein?" "My ballet teacher!" A ballet teacher. See what I mean?

"She told me that I've gotten really good and could become one of her best students! I told mom but she...well she said she's proud."

"F*ck her." I bit down on my imaginary lip.

"What?" Flora's eyes widened. "Did you just say the f word?"

"N-no?" God dammit, why do I have to be such a bad actor? "What I meant was that...your mom should pay more attention to you."

Flora kept staring for a second, then her face went blank. "Huh."

She slowly walked over to her bed and sat down. I waited for her to start ranting but she stayed quiet, letting her head hang low. So I flew closer.

"Everything okay?" "What? Yeah." She sighed. "It's just…" Flora shook her head, then she lifted her gaze. Her face was sad, almost angry.

"Everytime I tell someone about my mom they say stuff like 'Oh, don't take it personally.' 'She probably has so much to do.' 'She loves you, don't forget that.' But no one ever says the truth. She doesn't care about me, or anyone honestly. She acts as if raising me is not her job. She never gets involved. When my dad and I fight, she just leaves the room. It's okay if she is on his side, you know? But I need to know what she is thinking! She can't just leave like it's none of her business, she is my mother, they are both equally responsible. She has always had it easy in her life and now that she has a child and things get tricky or loud sometimes, she chooses the easy way again. But that's not how it works! It's not fair!"

I was taken aback. Until now Flora had always acted like a silly child, someone who doesn't know the difference between Egypt and a pyramid cake. But everything that had just come out of her mouth was thought through and calculated. I was impressed.

"You are the first person who said the truth. F*ck her. Just f*ck her."

I wanted to say 'Oh, you don't have to tell me twice' but somehow was able to hold it back.

God, how can I joke in a situation like this? Shouldn't I feel bad for Flora and comfort her?

"Have you ever said anything of that to her face?"

"No, I can't. I'm too scared." Flora's face fell into her hands, just like Alex's used to when he was sad. I prayed that she wouldn't start crying, I didn't know if I could handle that. I don't have a problem with seeing people emotional, it usually leaves me cold. But not if that person reminds me of my little brother.

So I did something dumb. Something really dumb.

"You don't have to be scared. I'm here, remember? I'll protect you from anything."

Flora sniffed, she looked surprised. "Really?" "Yes. Whatever you are scared of, I'll make sure you won't get hurt."

I realized too late that I had promised her something that was meant for Alex. Not Flora. Unfortunately, she was oblivious.

The whole 'I'm a medium' thing was a horrible idea and it all came crashing down on me the next day.

Flora had just come back from yet another afterschool activity and was smiling brightly.

"Parker ghost! Are you there?"

Luckily I was, I had arrived a few minutes earlier from a trip down to the neighbor's pool and was reading one of Flora's books. Contemporary Romance, my god. If it hadn't been dead already, I would have hanged myself.

"Yes, how was your day?" "Good, good. I have to show you something!"

She kneeled down beside her bed and pulled a shoe box out from down under it.

"So yesterday you told me that I should talk to my mom and not be scared, right?" "Yes." I took a closer look at the closed box. They had probably carried a pair of sneakers a few years ago, but now one side was full of small holes. Holes for what?

"Well, in psychology class we learned that in order to get rid of fears, you have to face them. Talking to my mom was still too scary so I did something else to ease my way in." Flora slowly lifted the lid, I leaned closer.

I wasn't sure what I was looking at but it was furry. And big. Then I saw the legs and screamed.

"IS THAT A SPIDER?"

"Yes, it's a tarantula! I found her on my way home earlier so I decided to take her with me! Isn't that cool? I'm usually so scared of spiders, but look, I can even hold it!" Flora slid her hand into the shoe box and before I could stop her, she was holding that creature.

"No, don't touch that! Tarantulas are super poisonous, are you crazy?"

Flora seemed confused, she raised her eyebrows. "But you said you'll protect me."

"Yes but not from a spider! I'm not a doctor!"

"But you SAID…" Suddenly the tarantula started moving, it slowly crawled over Flora's wrist and up her arm. The girl didn't seem to mind. I almost passed out.

"You said that whatever tries to hurt me, you'll make sure it won't!" "Y-yeah but that's a tarantula! I was talking about spirits or emotional stuff!"

"You mean…" Flora's eyes slowly glided over to her elbow where now the spider was sitting.

It took a second.

Then she screeched.

Next thing I knew, she ran out of the room.

In hindsight I really didn't handle this well. Instead of scaring Flora I should have tried to trick her into letting the tarantula free. The scream ended up triggering it and what does a tarantula do when it feels attacked? It bites.

Long story short, Flora passed out and ended up in the emergency room. And although it wasn't my intention to put her in danger, I lost 200 KP.

So what's the moral of this story? Stay away from Australia.