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25.4% I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please / Chapter 62: Aggressively Underwhelming

Chapter 62: Aggressively Underwhelming

Lucas takes a few moments, seeming to be lost in his own deep contemplation, the keyword being 'seeming'.

"Ahem, well, we won't have the money all at once, but between me and Jon, we'll have a decent amount on a monthly basis... Given some plans we have. Would you happen to know some rough estimates we could expect to see?" As Lucas manages a reasonable enough choice of words, Miss Calculated taps a few more times before finally stopping.

"I don't know how big of a headquarters you were thinking of having, nor how high end, but if we're just talking about the orphanage... One moment." She pulls a tablet computer over and starts digging up some information, pausing on occasion to do some mental calculations. After a few seconds, she gets a self-satisfied smile and nods once before continuing to speak.

"I'd estimate there's something around 3,000 homeless supe children throughout the entirety of this city? Clearly, you won't be tending to all of them, probably not even ten percent of them. If you were providing full internship training on top of tending to their well-being, I would say for 300 children, just rent alone for the space needed should cost roughly 2.5 million a month?" Needless to say, this estimate wipes the smug look off of Lucas's face.

"There's so many!? It would cost so much!? Ugh... Ahem, well, starting smaller and growing over time makes more sense anyway. Like, say... 100? That seems like a pretty generous amount, yeah? Though now I'm thinking we might not be doing as fancy of an HQ as I had hoped... Right, start small. It's not like we're gonna have a ton of employees or anything anytime soon." As Lucas does some significant backpedaling in terms of the scale of operations, Jonathan is lost in thought off to the side.

"Covering 100 should bring you down to around 900,000... Though who's to say you could find a location that's the right size for a reasonable price, so it could jump significantly if you're unfortunate." When she brings up a point that Lucas should have already considered, but didn't, he pales a bit and starts chewing on his lips.

[...Keep in mind she is purely discussing rent for the building, you'd have to consider all of the additional purchases that would be necessary, and perhaps renovations as well.]

"Right... Right, of course... At that rate, we'd be living there too after spending so much we ended up homeless. Bah. I guess the first step is finding a place before we worry about any paperwork for setup then, eh?" As Lucas gives up, for the time being, Jonathan's face suddenly lights up.

"What if... Um, what if we joined up with one of the soup kitchens? They already do a lot to help homeless people as it is... They uh, they have a lot of the stuff already, so that should make our job a lot easier?" As Jonathan provides his suggestion, Miss Calculated nods repeatedly and starts poking about with her tablet again.

"Right... A quick search has already found three that are in a location they could expand outward from. Oh! The building next to Doom Flock's is recently abandoned, that would be perfect. I've even got La- erm, their boss's number. Let's get you started on your paperwork and see if they're available to chat." When she mentions the previously-greatly-mocked-name both Lucas and Jonathan let out an involuntary snort of laughter before managing to choke back the rest of their giggles.

Meanwhile, Miss Masher is standing off to the side, staring at them. Her arms are crossed with Willy's chew toys dangling from her right hand, her right foot tapping impatiently.

Seated not very far away from her feet, Willy is staring up at the swaying toys, debating if he should make a fuss in order to reclaim them.

"Ahem, right then. I'll bring everything you'll need to fill out for now over to one of the private rooms. Go ahead and escort them to room C Mash, but don't you dare start a fight in there." As Miss Calculated gives out instructions, she's already mounted one side of a folder onto a large clipboard, stuffing the freshly printed paperwork inside.

Satisfied that there is finally some progress, Miss Masher stops tapping her foot and flashes a toothy, minus one, smile. Unfolding her arms, she makes a 'come on' gesture with the hand holding the faux supervillains before heading off towards a door set in a distant wall.

Lucas stays in place for a moment, contemplating if there is some extra meaning to her smile. Willy has no such reservations and actively follows in pursuit of his prized possessions. Jonathan stops for a moment to look at Lucas, but he ends up following her before long.

"Hey James, do you have any snacks that would be good for dogs?" Once Miss Calculated has gathered all of the paperwork, as well as her tablet and a fancy fountain pen, she walks over to stand behind the reclining blonde man next door to her counter. The response she receives is a grunt carrying the intonation of 'I don't know'. A few moments later, he realizes she isn't going to leave with such an unsatisfactory response, so he deigns to actually speak.

"Eh, you'd know what's fine better than I would, help yourself to whatever's in the break room, something's bound to be good enough." Having at least received consent, Miss Calculated sighs before speaking up again.

"At least try to pay some attention if someone else shows up, James. Don't just leave it to a bot if it isn't something basic." With this mild scolding, she finally leaves in the direction of a door against a far wall.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I got it." With an absentminded tone, he waves goodbye at her, without bothering to turn around when doing so. During this entire exchange, his eyes never left the screen of the tablet leaning against his legs.

Caving in to the silent peer pressure of his party members, Lucas stops worrying about the questionable grin and just goes with the flow, following the group through the door and down a small hallway. Passing a few ornamental columns as well as a few large paintings of verdant landscapes, Miss Masher eventually stops near the third door she's walked past, opening it and gesturing inside, making an exaggerated bow as she does so.

Realizing she's still holding the dog's toys, she gently tosses them into the room. This immediately triggers a series of tail wags as Willy scampers in after them, managing to successfully catch the diminutive Josephine mid-air.

With a chuckle, Jonathan decides to join in the game, sprinting in and catching the two other chew toys before they hit the ground. Barely a second passes before his brain processes how dirty they must be, so he gently sets them down near Willy and pulls out a napkin to aggressively wipe his hands.

Miss Masher gave an appreciative whistle when she saw that all three dolls were caught mid-flight, but switches to a confused look when she witnesses Jonathan's follow up. Noticing said confusion, Lucas not-so-gently slaps the back of her shoulder as he enters the room, grinning at her.

"Don't worry about him, he's been through a lot. I already gave up on trying to figure him out." As Lucas shamelessly admits his own lack of understanding, he gets a glare from Jonathan that clearly expresses 'You're one to talk.'

[I do believe that is only one thing on a long list of things you gave up on figuring out.]

'Hey! Regardless of how right it is, that's just mean!'

[But you just admitted to it..?]

Miss Masher's expression shifts from the previous confusion into pure amusement, a moment later she comes up with her own excuse to return Lucas's smack.

"Hey, I'm not gonna stand here all day, hurry it up, pretty boy." As she re-uses the oddly effective insult, she delivers a smack of her own to the gap between his shoulder blades, not holding back any of her strength. Maybe he shouldn't have admitted he has enhanced endurance in advance, it really stings, the pain from the hit does too.

It's a good thing that Jonathan had already taken a seat on one of the plush sofas surrounding the coffee table in the middle of the room, as he doubles over in laughter from the repeated insult.

"I! Am! Not! Pretty! Don't call me that! What the fuck!?" As Lucas defends (?) his unassuming appearance, he finally enters the room and takes a seat on a couch 90 degrees from the one Jonathan is busy laughing on.

Willy is rolling around on his back on the generously large Mashad rug that is centered under the coffee table, using his front legs to hold mini Mind Flare and compact Josephine together. Backing Lucas's pride (?) about how average he is, he provides a supportive bark.

[...With how much it clearly bothers you, there's no way she's going to stop using that nickname.]

"Oh come on, you can't tell me that you felt you're strong enough so you never worked out. You had to have stayed scrawny like that on purpose!" As Miss Masher makes a point that would be accurate if Lucas's situation was more normal for the world they're in, Lucas sputters a few times. She walks over to plop onto the couch directly opposite Lucas, staring at him with her arms crossed.

"I... I- I'm not scrawny either! I'm! Just! Normal! You just worked out too much!" No one has ever accused Lucas of being skilled in the art of negotiation, and for good reason.

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 8.91

Lucas's fame level: 2.5* (Mostly just local)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 5

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 1.93 (+.01 net change)

Jonathan's fame level: 1.75* (Just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, finding the insult just as funny the second time around, or at least Lucas's reaction to it.

Willy, enacting a drama in his head with the two chew toys: Bark! Bark-bark bark!

Lucas, fuming at the undesired labels: Whyyy!?

427, both amused and now alerted to an issue he hadn't considered before: [No, but really, you're probably the only strength supe in the world that doesn't exercise regularly? And you definitely look like it, too.]

Author, laughing evilly: Your days spent being lazy are numbered, Lucas. Eh, they already were as it is, now it's just gonna be even worse.

Mr. Quacks, already in peak physical condition with no need for any further training: Quack!


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