Chapter 11: The Mind

"So she's in Bandung?" Aaron asked Ivani during the inauguration night, they were talking about Mai.

"Yes, Ron. Her parents took her to Bandung to treat her illness. There is her aunt who is a psychiatrist." Ivani said.

Aaron nodded his head as he heard Ivani's story. Bandung? Hearing the city of flowers was mentioned made Aaron remember a little of his childhood. Besides England, Bandung is also where he spent his childhood before the incident happened.

Aaron shook his head, why did he remember something he didn't want to remember anymore. He looked back at the girl who was chattering beside him.

At first, they were just chatting normally, not knowing how the story was going, they even discussed Mai and her phobia. He doesn't know why Ivani can open up to him. The girl told him everything about Mai even though Aaron didn't ask.

"I feel sorry for her," said Ivani again.

"Yes it must be hard but she will recover. So don't worry." Aaron said he tried to comfort even though in his heart he didn't believe trauma sufferers could be healed that fast.

The girl had to go to a psychiatrist too, the trauma was severe. Wait, maybe that girl has PTSD.

Aaron became more and more curious about what happened until Mai was so traumatized. Aaron didn't understand why he was so interested either. Maybe he was interested in her case, because Aaron was interested in psychiatry or because she reminded him of someone, someone who was hard to forget even if he wanted to.

"Hopefully.. after all, Mai can remember what happened. Do you think it can help?" Ivani said.

"Well, we can't solve the problem if we don't know the cause, right. I feel bad forever asking her what happened. I know it's none of my business. I'm just trying to help." said Aaron.

"Mai has been feeling guilty all this time and once she finds out what happened I hope she can forgive herself and forget about it." Said Ivani, she returned to the story.

"Guilty? I thought she had an accident?" Aaron said, he just suspected Mai had an accident that traumatized her.

"Hmm.. actually she wasn't the one in the accident but someone else. Mai caused the accident and she's very sorry." Ivani said.

Aaron recalled when Mai had an attack. No wonder at that time Mai repeatedly apologized. That explains everything. Traumatic events and feelings of guilt, it's really heavy. He felt sorry for the girl.

"What are you doing here alone?" Thomas said, he suddenly came to surprise them.

"What the hell, Thom. Did you just startle me?" Said Ivani, she hit him and Thomas dodged while mocking Ivani.

"Ron, don't want to be seduced by Ivani. Be careful," said Thomas to Aaron. Aaron just smirked.

"Huh, what the hell, Thom," Ivani said, she chased after Thomas who ran away.

"You're just embarrassing!" Ivani said to Thomas when they were away from Aaron. Ivani glanced at Aaron who now seemed to be busy chatting with Riven and his friends.

"You're always like that. I've read what you mean," said Thomas.

"I'm not doing anything, just chatting but I'm curious, Aaron already has a girlfriend or not?". Ivan said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," said Thomas quickly. Ivani was silent, is this Thomas or joking.

"You're lying, you must be joking right?" Ivani said with a chuckle.

"Gosh, I'm not lying, it's true. Her name is Cynthia and they've been dating for 3 years, so... Forget him, okay. There are many other guys." said Thomas.

Ivani was sullen. Even though she just likes, just has a crush, hasn't fallen in love but how come it hurts too, she's heartbroken. Even though she should have known, such a handsome, popular, smart man must have been taken, how could he be single. Ah, she lost quickly.

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Sunday morning at Mai's house. Ivani confides about her broken heart, plus the spice of drama and tears. While Mai and Nica looked at her with confused looks. The three of them are in Mai's room. A pink room filled with strawberry ornaments. The girl likes the color pink and everything about strawberries. Nica, who is allergic to girly things, was initially embarrassed to be in this room for a long time but her name was a friend, she finally got used to it.

"I'm sorry, Vani. We're here to visit Mai, to comfort her, not to listen to you vent," said Nica with a reminder.

Ivani is lazy sometimes.

Mai just smiled while patting Ivani's shoulder.

"Patience, Vani, there are still many other handsome men." Said Mai.

"But not as handsome as Aaron. He's cute, he's my type and he's so perfect," said Ivani.

"Please, Vani, you've only known him for 3 days. You don't know anything about him, but it's like you've known him for 3 years," said Nica. According to him, all this hyperbole must stop.

Hearing the word three years made Ivani cry even louder. Nica rolled her eyes and Mai just shrugged, confused.

"No human is perfect, you know. You are a habit, you can't see a clear man sticking a little like a lizard. You have to be careful, that man has a lot of bad sense," said Nica warningly.

"Nica... How can you be so heartless? What kind of cheap girl am I?" Ivani said with a frown.

Ivani also never just sticks with a man, unless he likes the man. Ivani is a girl who never gives up and knows exactly what she wants.

"After all... I'm getting more curious. What is Aaron like? Is he handsome, Mai?" she asked.

Finally, she wanted to know also what kind of man had made Ivani both in love and heartbroken.

"It's crazy, right. He's mine... You can't snatch it," said Ivani.

Mai also laughed amused. How could Nica take a man that Ivani likes? Nica's taste is different from Ivani's. After all, Nica has always looked more macho than the men around them. No man dares to mess with Nica, her karate moves can come out without warning.

"Yeee... He already has a girlfriend," said Nica with a reminder. Nica glanced at Mai, waiting for an answer.

"Mmmm... Handsome. Tall, white, Caucasian," said Mai. Plus it looks kind and considerate. Oops... No, no, Mai's heart is only for Thomas but... If only Thomas could pay more attention to her.

"Mmmm that's okay..." said Nica with a mumble.

Caucasian men are Ivani's type. She won't know why the girl prefers imported men to local ones.

"Don't worry, I won't take it. If I hear your story, he must be a soft, spoiled man, can't be relied on. Not my type," said Nica.

Ivani slapped Nica with a pillow, not accepting that Nica underestimated her crush.

"How are you, Mai? Are you feeling better?" Ivani asked by turning her attention to Mai. Lazy to argue with Nica.

"It's okay," said Mai with a smile.

"Really? Tell me," said Ivani again. She shifted her seat closer to Mai. Pulled one of the strawberry pillows up her thigh.

"Yeah... The bad dreams that I've been having are not dreams. They're all real." Said Mai, she started the story. Her eyes wandered.

"I know. You told me on the phone yesterday. But how come? I mean what happened?" Ivani asked more curiously. Nica who was next to her frowned at Ivani's response.

"You know that? How come you already know." Nica said, she glanced at Ivani with a sharp gaze.

"That's... Yesterday... Uh, two days ago. Ivani called me, so... I tell everything," Mai said explaining.

"Hmm... I see... Evil... Ivani was the one who was told. I always found out last." Nica said with pursed lips.

It's not strange, Mai is closer to Ivani than she is, it's just that sometimes Nica feels jealous too. For male friends, usually, Mai is closer to Thomas.

"Nica... Sorry... Next time I'll tell you first." Said Mai.

Mai gripped Nica's fingers, sincerely apologizing while Ivani with a mischievous look was pleased. It's nice to be prioritized by Mai over Nica.

"Yes... Yes... Yes, you have continued the story," said Nica. She felt a little annoyed but not angry.

"I once said I don't remember my childhood. It seems that something happened that time that made me not want to remember and chose to forget it. But my subconscious remembers it. That's why I always have bad dreams." Said Mai.

"Wait... Wait... Haven't you always dreamed of pushing a child down and getting hurt?" Nica said interrupting.

"That means...." Nica said with a shudder.

"Oh my God," she said. Mai smiled faintly.

"Well... Terrible isn't it... I harmed someone." Said Mai with a gulp. The tightness crept into her heart again.

Ivani rubbed Mai's shoulder slowly.

"There are two versions and I don't know which one is correct." Said Mai.

"What else?" Said Nica.

"In my dreams, I am the villain." Said Mai. Ivani shook her head, not liking the term Mai used.

"According to my mother, I was the victim." Said Mai.

Nica and Ivani looked at each other. They don't understand.

"All this time I always thought I harmed the child, I felt guilty even though I didn't know if it was real or not. I pushed him off the swing and he fell, his head hurt and he didn't move. I thought he was dead and got goosebumps when I thought I had become a killer." Said Mai.