Chapter 39: Selfish
Avery wasn't the only person at risk here. Angelo and Jorge were pretty obvious accomplices if you put a little thought into it.
She didn't think Christian would expose her and risk exposing himself at the same time now that he knew Nox was aware of his identity but she didn't want to blackmail him as herself. Doing it last night as someone else had been hard enough.
She needed to come up with an excuse that seemed plausible without making it seem like she didn't want to get serious with him (even though she didn't). It took her a minute but she found a straw to grasp at.
"I can't sell my apartment. It's where I grew up and I have so many memories with my dad there," Avery protested.
"Why would you have to? You said the mortgage is already paid off, didn't you? Keep paying the property taxes and you'll be fine. You'll even be saving money by using way less utilities," Christian said with a shrug. "You can move in here and I'll finally have an excuse to kick out Liam."
She couldn't help but snort at that last part. "You do realize it's your apartment. You can kick him out any time without an excuse."
"Yes but then I'd feel bad about it. This way, he's likely to volunteer to leave on his own."
"So you're using me?"
Avery had only been teasing but Christian replied very seriously. "No. That would be a perk but I just want to be with you all the time. I'm sorry. I know I was the one that didn't want anything long term but things are different now. There's nothing holding me back anymore."
Her heart sunk. She knew it! He was retiring and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her now that he didn't have to worry about hero work getting in the way.
"Christian, I love you so much but I…I still have things to do. I'm not as busy as you used to be but I have certain commitments I need to see through to the end. I can't be what you want me to be," she said sadly.
"I don't want you to be anything but yourself! Whatever you have to do, I'll support you in it. There's no reason you shouldn't be able to do what you want while being with me."
Avery could think of a very compelling one but couldn't say it. He didn't know the truth about her. If he did, he wouldn't make such an offer. "…do you promise you won't interfere if I have overnight trips out of town every so often? They aren't terribly frequent but they are important to me."
Going out of town made more sense than staying out until 6 AM. She could potentially crash at her place since they wouldn't be using it and pretend she got back in town after she woke up. She couldn't believe she was even contemplating this when it was such a bad idea!
Christian nodded vehemently. "That's fine! As long as you tell me in advance so I don't have to worry about you vanishing on me. Do what you need to do. I don't want to limit you in any way. I just want to stay with you."
Ah, he was too good. Too understanding. Too much of a hero for someone mired in revenge like her even if she was trying to make the world a better place at the same time.
He was also too wonderful to give up. Avery's selfishness had gotten worse the longer she had been with him. The temptation to do what she wanted without considering the bigger picture was too much to bear.
"Alright," she told him with her heart hammering in her ears. "You should probably give Liam some warning though."
Christian smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I will. You need time to pack, anyway."
Just like that, it was settled and Avery screamed internally. What had she just agreed to?! This was a horrible, horrible idea that would surely ruin her life because nothing this good could possibly last in her situation. Yet here she was.
She was still freaking out when she went back to work and Vanessa noticed. There was no getting anything past her, aside from the fact that her best friend was a villain.
"What's with you? Your hands are shaking. If you aren't careful, you're going to screw up your piping and Marianne will be on your case."
Avery sighed heavily. "Christian asked me to move in with him and I said yes."
"Aves, that's huge! But why do you seem upset?" Vanessa asked with a frown. "Do you not want to?"
"Of course I want to! But I'm worried that he'll see things about me that he doesn't like."
He certainly wouldn't like finding out he was in love with his archnemesis. Though she supposed she should say former archnemesis since he was in the process of retiring and wouldn't be fighting her anymore.
Vanessa scoffed. "What could he possibly see about YOU that he wouldn't like? The man is nuts about you. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this invite to move in was a precursor to a proposal."
That's exactly what Avery was worried about! Though she supposed if she could handle living with him that being married wouldn't be that much different…but he might ask more questions about where she went and what she was doing.
Up until now, they had respected each other's privacy about their separate activities under the guise that their relationship wasn't that serious despite spending as much time as they possibly could together and sharing everything about themselves that wasn't tied up in their respective secrets. They were much closer emotionally than most people trying to keep each other at a distance.
"We have different political views," she said half-truthfully.
They weren't actually that different aside from the fact that she was a radical who acted on her desire to change the corruption in the world. He worked to help people within the broken system while she tried to abolish the system altogether.
Vanessa looked at her like she was stupid. "Then don't talk politics. Goodness knows I learned to keep my mouth shut about politics around certain people because I get too riled up and want to smack them."
Avery cracked a smile. She knew exactly who her friend was talking about and could imagine her following through on that desire rather easily.
Unfortunately, this difference in opinion wouldn't be solved so easily if Christian found out about it. He would never be able to accept what she did in her quest to destroy Hunsacher and give the country back to its people instead of one man at the top of the food chain.
"I don't know, Ness; this is a pretty big one. I don't think he would forgive me if he knew how I really felt about things," she confessed.
Vanessa rolled her eyes. "I seriously doubt that but if you're that concerned, don't tell him. Don't let go of such a catch for no reason if you really love him. And I know you do because you talk about him more than you talk about cakes these days."
Avery blushed. She hadn't realized she was gushing that much.
She should have known talking to her best friend about this wouldn't be helpful. The only person who would understand her situation was Angelo and he would be completely against it. She didn't want a vicious lecture in Spanish that she would barely be able to keep up with so she was going to have to keep it from him as long as she could.
"I do but I can't afford to lose him and I'm afraid getting closer will make that happen," she said quietly.
Vanessa looked at her sympathetically hearing the genuine distress in her voice. "Everyone takes that risk when they put themselves out there. You've already gotten this far. Don't let your fears stop you from a chance at happiness."
If only it was that simple. Avery had been doing her best to ignore everything she should be worried about in this situation so she could enjoy being with Christian as long as she had him all this time but she was in far too deep. Happiness wasn't possible for her unless he never found out about her being Nox.
The longer they were together and the longer the plan to take Hunsacher down took, the more likely she was to be exposed. She couldn't quit now though.
Selfish as she had been to get involved with the man she loved, it would be far more selfish to abandon this country for the sake of what she wanted. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few.
Technically, Avery could hand the suit off to someone else but her dad had left it to her. He had trusted her to do this and no one else. Who did she know that believed in their cause and wouldn't abuse the suit, anyway? She couldn't think of anyone off the top of her head since Angelo and Jorge weren't suited to fieldwork.
"Yeah. Sure," she said absently to get her friend off her back.
There was no real solution here. She was going to have to continue on as she had been and hope for the best.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone