Chapter 84: Ikigai.
After we had our breakfast together as a family, Fuyumi went to her job; Eri was about to go to sleep again but Fuyumi stopped her from doing so.
The reason for that was, Fuyumi wants to take Eri to school where she teaches at.
And the motive behind that was, today is the inauguration of Babysitting Club in the School which is initiated to support the female teachers by taking care of their toddler and pre-school age kids.
Fuyumi being a excited 'mother' she is, decided to take Eri as her daughter.
Eri protested using various means like 'I'm sleepy', 'I'm sick,' but nothing worked. After losing all her cards she could play, she tried to use me as her next move.
She gave me looks pleading for help but I straight out refused because what better she will do if she stays home other than watching cartoons and sleeping.
So after losing all her moves, Eri acceded to Fuyumi's wishes and got ready to go to school.
Fuyumi and Eri left for the school but there was also someone who was going with them uninvited. It was Sakamoto the cat. Even after accepting to go to school, she didn't stop pestering me about taking Sakamoto with her. I agreed after Fuyumi gave the green signal. In the club, pets like cats, and hamsters are allowed but dogs are exclusively banned.
I waved them goodbye, when they left for the school.
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[General POV]
Eri was walking down the road, holding Fuyumi's hands. Sakamoto was sitting in the bag which Eri was carrying on her back.
//Thanks kid. You don't know how much I am grateful for taking me with you. If you had left me alone there with that monster, I don't know what he would've done to me. Maybe he would skin me alive and make a sweater for you... but my fur is not that big... or maybe make katsu out of my meat...? Was today's katsu made of Cat meat....? Did I ate me own brethren?.. Am I a cannibal now?// Sakamoto showed his gratitude to Eri but then he went on a tangent and started mentally mumbling which was also audible to Eri because of the Telepathy.
Eri backed her elbow and hit the backpack, which made Sakamoto's mental mumble stop.
//Ah.. Sorry for going off the topic. But still I thank you.//
"No Problem." Eri replied casually to Sakamoto.
"No Problem? What No Problem Eri-chan?" Fuyumi asked, looking at Eri with questioning gaze.
"No Problem... No Problem... " Eri started looking for a viable reply to give, "I hope there will be no problem because I am not... your daughter." Eri said the last part in a sad tone.
"Nonsense!! Shido is my husband, so you are my daughter. I don't care what anybody else says. If they don't let you enter, I will protest and then..." Fuyumi started rambling on and on how will she go against the order to prove her claims.
'Fuhh!!.' Sakamoto and Eri breathed a sigh a relief.
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[Back at Shop]
As everyone went away to do their own business, I stored some directly consumables like snacks in my Inventory. I had to take these from the snacks stock of my house and I nearly have depleted all the stocks of food I had in the house.
Feeding 25 Children last night in the warehouse and giving Himiko enough food to survive for days in HID, depleted my reserves of food in Inventory.
'I need to go to shopping today.'
I took some extra breakfast and served it on a plate. Steam was coming off the plate carrying along the aroma of the food, trying to convey that the breakfast is still warm and delicious. I also took it inside the Inventory.
I equipped my Night Slash suit, set the >>Mind Stabilizer<< to >>Ultra<<, and then disappeared from the room.
...
I appeared in a small house which had a single room. In there was a bed where a girl with disheveled hair and clothes. She had her head covered with her hands. I went close to the bed and then I saw the pile of food packets that I left for her to eat. It was untouched. It almost has been 2 days here in HID while only 4.5 hours have passed in the MHA World.
'Did she starve for 2 days?'
I quickly went close to her and the first thought I had that she is unconscious as she didn't reacted to my sudden appearance in the room. I was about to check her pulse but I heard something in a very low voice.
"I... am... Dead... Kill.. Me... Please... Please... End this... I.. Want...to die.."
I moved to check her health but when I leaned too close to her, A hand quickly moved towards me, intending to grab my neck. The movements were swift but at the same time, languid. I grabbed the hand and looked at Himiko.
"Do you really want to do this again?"
"Kill Me... Kill Me... I don't want to live like this... I am better off dead than living."
"I won't kill you." I said and let her hand off my grasp.
"Why?? Is it not better to just kill me and get rid of me completely. Or are you one of those sadists, who get pleasure from torturing people."
"Neither. I won't kill you. And there are two reasons for that. First, you are a juvenile, and Second being that I feel you can be redeemed."
Himiko was about to scoff at my first reason but she faltered when she heard the second reason.
"Do.. Do you really mean that?" Himiko said with a stutter as she still couldn't wrap her head around the second reason I gave.
"For the first reason, I don't know. It sounds logical to not to kill a juvenile. But I genuinely believe that you are redeemable. That is the reason that I imprisoned you here and did not killed you the moment we met."
I gave her a small elaboration of the reasons but instead of listening and processing what I was saying, Her anger started rising which was clearly visible on her face.
"For this... For this.. you imprisoned here for 2 days.. Just because in your view, I am redeemable.. Did you even ask whether I want to redeem or not?... You just put me here in this cage to 'redeem'. Just for your information, since you are not killing me; When I will go outside I will do the SAME. FUCKING. THING. AGAIN. AND. AGAIN. And that is to drink blood and live however I want. Nobody can make me redeem myself. Neither you nor any counsellor."
"Well.. We will talk about that later. First, have some breakfast." I said and the breakfast that I had stored in the Inventory earlier, appeared in my hands. I presented the bowl to her.
Himiko showed some wariness in accepting the bowl. But she slowly accepting the bowl and started eating the food. This was because she was starving for two days and she knows it is safe to eat it because If I wanted to kill her, I could've done that way earlier.
I think this will make me appear a bit better than my previous image.
'People judged others to be more generous and caring if they had just held a warm cup of coffee nd less so if they had held an iced coffee.'
This is a finding by psychologists. I am trying to improve my image in her view because I have use for her and I really wish if she can really redeem herself. That's why I am resorting to these small-small acts. I cannot use {SJMAHPE} - Recruit Anyone Cheat because my words are entirely opposing to her views and using the cheat will further the gap between us.
So I am trying to slowly bridge the gap and make her agree to me to some extent and when she is on the same page as me, the cheat will do the work from there.
...
Himiko completed the Katsu Don and put the bowl aside,
"Okay. You can go on with your 'Counselling', so I can 'redeem' myself. Like it is going to work on me. So what are you going to do? Tell me to repress these urges, stop doing these 'abnormal' things and act more 'normal.' I want to end this quickly. I want to get out of this hellhole." Himiko said with a snarky tone.
"No. I am not going to ask you to repress these urges because if you repress them for too long, these urges will come back at you with double the intensity and with an added effect of resentment. These urges are like anger, sorrow or any other feelings. Hold them for too long and they act against you when they find a way to let out.
And that happened to you. You held these urges for far, far too long and it reached a bottleneck. And when you got a huge external stimulus, all these repressed urges manifested them and you became the blood-sucking maniac that you are today."
Himiko was shocked that someone was telling her to not to repress her feelings. But she still had her doubts,
"So you are saying that I should not repress these urges?"
"Yeah. But that does not mean that I am saying that it is right to act on these urges. There is a big difference in not repressing and acting on these urges.
Putting this aside, What I want you to do is, try to look in these urges. Try to figure out what is attracting you. Try to find out what lures you to do these dark things. Try to look into this abyss inside of you."
"And the second this what I want to ask is..
What is your Ikigai?"
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( Ikigai = Purpose of Life or living )
(A/N: Sorry for spending so much time on a character which will not contribute that much to the story but I am currently short of ideas to fill the gap between Villain-Slaughter Week and [World Mission] that's why I am resorting to this. But I will end this in the next chapter.)
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Gonshido Thanks for reading!
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