Chapter 45: Large and in Charge
As I replayed the footage of Anakin getting his legs blown off by a walker blast and thrown into a dark chasm of doom, I knew that nothing was over. He'd survive, the Force wouldn't let him die until there is an observer to confirm it.
Of course I wasn't afraid of the coming of the Chosen One, not at all. The Force doesn't affect me and Jack, so his plot armor is useless against us. With the loss of so much of his body mass, Anakin would never be pulling Star Destroyers down from the sky, and without Palpatine he wouldn't have access to a Sith Sorcery enhanced gimp suit that constantly fuels and amplifies his dark side powers.
Even if he gets the best prosthetics available all he'd be is a cripple Dark Jedi. And when he finds out we'd turned his precious Padme into a smear on the battle scarred Senate building he'd be a crippled and insane Dark Jedi. Significant power boost at the cost of any cleverness. Young Anakin would lose himself to the Dark Side and come straight at me like a bull at a matador. After all, the great Patriarch teaches us, 'Kill the family and he will come at you stupid.'
Dooku agreed with me on Skywalker's survival, and wanted to send Grievous to hunt him down, but I knew better than to send a prized attack dog after a man protected by fate. The sadistic cyborg would be far better utilized pursuing the other Jedi that survived Order Sixty Six.
With the quick refreshment that watching Anakin blow up always gave me I got back to my day job of running the galaxy.
When Jack and I formed a secret oligarchy with Dooku and Ventress to control the CIS, I hadn't expected them to all dump me with all the responsibility and power and fuck off to do their own shit.
Dooku and Ventress spent all their free time exploring the various holocrons and histories the Jedi had collected over the years, both chasing personal power like true Sith, with Dooku making public appearances the keep up the façade that he was still the head of state, and Ventress spent time training all the children they'd taken from the Jedi Temple. Children that now lived in Grunt's Mega Fortress. How my home got turned into a Dark Side kindergarten is an interesting story. Ventress needed a secure place to stash all the kids she kidnapped and smooth lizard dick, and my house is the only place in the galaxy where the best in both classes can be found.
All this exposure to kids might make me a better father if I ever get back to my home dimension. It will be tough to jump over the high bar I set after turning thousands of my children into emotionless slaves so they could serve as disposable troops against a race of machine gods and their vast armies of cyborg zombies.
Gaining levels in fatherhood via osmosis sounds like a thing. I suspect it's the reason why World's Greatest Dad mugs have stopped exploding in my presence.
I took another sip of a wonderful adult beverage, the glowing purple liquid warmed my body in a way I haven't felt in years and I greatly appreciated that it killed anyone without a constitution on par with a hutt's. Hell it would even kill the weak hutts like my Uncle Ziro. In one glass this liquor both got me drunk and established my dominance. Glorious.
Some might view drinking while managing a government that spanned the sea of stars as grossly negligent, but like the great Tsunade Senju, I kept it in moderation during business hours.
God I hope I one day find a way to get to the Naruto verse. I don't care if I have to adopt Naruto and Sasuke and raise those ass monkeys into responsible reasonable adults if it gets my dong on those willing titties.
You know that running trope about people in positions of power losing their shit because of the paperwork? They should have taken over via the powers of evil, cause no one sends me trifling shit to handle. The Hutt Empire exists to serve the hutts, I set the course and a series of terrified minions and slaves make it happen. Who knew being a totalitarian dictator was so easy.
As for the CIS, Independent Systems is two thirds of the name. The member systems try their best to govern independently and I mostly manage intersystem disputes and commerce, and honestly most of that shit gets handled amicably all of a sudden when I email people to come to Tatooine so I can mediate the problem.
Circulating that video of Nute and Wat is the gift that keeps on giving.
Who could have guessed that one of my best life choices would involve stiff rancor cock?
The war against the Republic had turned the difficulty down to easy mode following the Shattering, as our attack on Coruscant had been dubbed. With the Jedi Order mostly massacred, the clone armies were routed swiftly by the weight of our droids. Even without the Chancellor and the Senate the clones fought fiercely to defend what was left of the Republic. They just didn't have space wizards to pull off impossible tactics at vital times, and though largely superior in terms of skill, they couldn't conventionally defeat us. Especially with new systems surrendering to us constantly.
While the CIS worked on securing territory in the galactic rims, the Hutt Empire had turned our former pirate, now privateer, forces on the Core Worlds. This generated a truly staggering amount of wealth for us.
A bunch of outlaws forming a crew to turn pirate is a life of meager reward and high risks unless a truly intelligent and driven individual manages to drag his fellows to riches, under the Hutts, piracy is organized and supported with excellent intel and becomes moderately profitable for reasonable risk. Raiding the Core Worlds was like opening a portal to the money dimension.
In the Outer Rim, if you aren't armed it's because you are a slave. In the Core owning guns outside of Law Enforcement is almost universally illegal.
The Core Worlds have known only peace and prosperity for a thousand years. They had every reason to be fat, complacent, and arrogant. While most of the galaxy is third world hell holes they have lived in sci-fi utopias for a millenia. From birth to death, for generations, so long as they lived within the law they experienced no hardship.
And I had unleashed the dogs from the edge of the galaxy onto them. Sure, they could still drown the CIS in money, but they had spent barely a percent of a percent of their GDP on their armed forces for so long that they didn't have the infrastructure in place to fight back against us. The amount of resistance my fighters hit in the Core amounted to a fetus trying to defend itself from a trip to Planned Parenthood.
Jesus once said, "To those who have, more will be given. And for those who have not, everything will be taken."
I had a near total monopoly on violence in the galaxy, and every day my wealth increased. Since the Core had no capacity to excerpt violence, I'd be taking everything from them.
The man had more than just a mad exorcist game, he also spoke mad facts.
Ice cold facts, but it wasn't like he was endorsing the statement, just saying this is both true and important.
Who knows, maybe when the people of the future look back on this time period they will know better than to let the state turn them into pussies. Nah, that would be having too much faith in people being able to think critically about this kind of war instead of emotionally. The Fall of the Republic and the chaos that came after it was too dark a topic for people to view it objectively as a natural conclusion to a system of spineless and corrupt flesh bags ceaselessly oppressing their hard as fuck neighbors.
Shit, the hutts figured that out just by example. We really are the most superior race in the galaxy.
When my work concluded I got back to my daily sword training, sure that Anakin would come for his revenge soon enough and that the Force would not be denied her sword duel.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
JManM
JManM One more chapter till we are finished with the prequels and moving on to Skyrim. Grunt will be gaining something in Skyrim that he as sorely missed.
We can return to Star Wars in other jumps or after Grunt gets to the MCU and learns how to use his dick like a sling ring.
If you want to support me and my family you can do so at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
Chapter 46: Prophecy Broken
"Grunt Desilijic Tiure!" Anakin Skywalker screamed at the front gate of my Mega Fortress, a much changed man.
Gone was the hero without fear of the Republic, replaced by a gaunt man with eyes glowing like pools of lava in the night, standing on two robotic legs in a loincloth.
"You took my mother!" He shouted, "You killed my student! You murdered my wife!"
True facts about your step dad.
"If you have any pride in your wretched body you will come down and face me. No weapons, no armor, no tricks. Just the power and speed of our bodies!"
"What a fool." Ventress commented, "The poor boy has lost his mind and will be put down like a rabid mongrel."
"No." Jack shook her head, "He won't."
"My step-son has stated his case." I announced to everyone in the throne room watching the feed from the front gate, "He has listed three terrible transgressions and demanded the Rite of Kombat. This matter is sacred, none shall touch him save me."
"You can't be serious?" Ventress scoffed, "Shoot him now and be done with it."
"If I do not meet this sacred challenge then I prove now and forever that I am craven, that I am unworthy, and will be denied my place in the feasting halls of Kruban no matter how great my legend becomes. Even if no one were to believe the boy's case, I would know the truth and be compelled to face him or live the rest of my cowardly life hollow of honor."
"What the hell is Kruban?" Ventress questioned quietly.
"Big lizard business." Jack answered her in the same tone.
I had once more made assumptions and the Force subverted me. Guiding my enemy to the correct method of taking me down. Had Anakin assaulted my fortress, he would be unable to infiltrate it in the same way as the multifarious Palpatine. He would have been caught and I would have the time to arm up for the battle in a suit of invulnerable armor with a sword and shield capable of disabling his strongest weapon.
Instead the Dark Side of the Force had guided Anakin to the only battle he could feasibly win against me. I doubted that even giving himself over to the Dark Side completely would allow him the physical amplification Darth Jar Jar showed, but even without that Anakin would be an enemy both fast and powerful.
I made the fallen Jedi wait while I prepared for sacred kombat, stripping off my rings and chains and robes. I slipped into a hot bath and after the Twi'lek attendants cleaned me thoroughly Jack buffed my scales and plates with fragrant wax. I donned a tight pair of pants and a phrik codpiece with a layer of impact absorbing gel covered in finest silk.
I made my way to the front gate and gathered an escort of cortosis plated C-B3 ultra battle droids. We arrived at the perimeter wall with a platoon of commando droids aiming their slugthrower longrifles at the waiting challenger.
The gate opened slowly enough to get people's dicks hard and my escort ran forward, creating a wide circle around Anakin and turned away from him with their blasters up, ready to slay anyone who tried to interfere.
"You'll have to forgive the codpiece boy." I told him as he grinded his teeth at the sight of me, "I swore to your mother that I would never again willingly enter combat without protecting the family jewels."
Anakin's skin paled as black veins spread throughout his human flesh. His eyes bled crimson and his voice came out like gravel.
"You took my mother!" He hoarsely screamed, "Killed my student! Murdered my wife!"
And with that the fight was on.
Anakin moved with all the swiftness and guidance the Dark Side could channel through his body and closed distance at incredible speed. His fist impacted on my guard with a thunderous clash that left me clenching my teeth and I responded with an uppercut he weaved around and countered with a hook that grazed my ribs.
He backed out of my reach and side stepped quickly before darting back in and working another combo, this time getting clipped by a jab coming in but he minimized the damage by rolling his head and letting it only strike him with a glancing blow. His follow up cross hook combo hit me cleanly and dealt far more damage.
Over the course of the next several minutes this frustrating process continued, as the Chosen one danced around my attacks and almost always landed cleanly with his own.
I spat out a glob of blood after a jaw rattling strike and grinned at the fallen Jedi.
"Good hit boy." I laughed and caught him clean with a jab that sent him reeling back with a cut over his eye.
With the help of the Force, Anakin had needed no time at all to establish the proper range of the fight and learn my patterns. Even if the Force couldn't read me to give him the precognition that made fighting even poorly trained Jedi a pain in the ass for regular people, it still brought his reaction speed down to near zero and guided him to where he needed to be to hurt me.
As a mostly regular giant space lizard man I needed time to establish a read on him, and now that I had it he needed to vary his patterns and implement feints and fakes to move me into the positions he needed me in. Skills he had as a swordsman, but quickly proved to lack as a brawler.
The fight turned.
Over the next few exchanges Anakin ate another clean jab and a teep kick that kept him from coming in on me to bring his shorter limbs into play. To counter this he began to attack my limbs specifically, trying to slow them down so he could regain the upper hand. A good strategy against someone without my powerful regenerative healing factor, but I wasn't going to let him know that.
As his damage grew so did my confidence and I pursued the fatal finish, coming at the boy with a cardio burning barrage of combinations that put him on the backfoot for the first time in the fight. Or so I thought.
Anakin ducked under a sloppy looping over eager hook and executed a flawless spinning side kick that sent me flying and to the ground with my wind knocked out of me.
For the uninitiated, the spinning side kick is the single most powerful kick the human body can produce. It is the perfect combination of torque and grounded stability and I just ate a flawless example from a guy with robo legs and the empowerment of giving in fully to the Dark Side.
Anakin unleashed a series of soccer kicks on me while I got my shit together after taking a kick that would make a speeding Truck-Sama jealous.
"You took my mother! You killed my student! You murdered my wife!" he screamed while he tried to murder me with head kicks.
When I grabbed one of those kicks in an inescapable vice grip, Anakin knew it was that moment he'd fucked up.
I dragged the Chosen One to the ground and mounted him, my superior lifting strength making it so simple to move my hands up to his head and dig my thumbs into his eyes which began bleeding as I pressed, forcing him to scream in agony and terror.
"I took you mother!" I screamed right back at him, "I killed your student! I murdered your wife!"
And I popped your head like a bad zit.
I got up and lifted my step-son's broken body in one hand and pounded my titanic slab of chest muscle with the other.
I screamed in victory, "I AM KROGAN!"
CREATORS' THOUGHTS
JManM
JManM
I bet no one expected the Star Wars arc to conclude in a fist fight.
This chapter came out so smoothly that I think I will have time to write the chapter that transitions them to Skyrim tonight.
I am so excited.
If you want to support me and my family please do so at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
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